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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Okay, here’s Kylie asking again for fucking advice … yes!!!

This time it isn’t about a boy, but it’s about a friend.

We grew extremely close the past year and a half, and I consider her a close friend.

Anyway, the past 6-7 weeks I’ve seen a bit of a decline in our friendship, she started replying less and less to messages (we used to voice note daily) and seeing each other less. Now, I understand, things get in the way, people are busy. But you just know when something is off.

It was her birthday yesterday (I sent her a voice

message saying happy bday and she replied with just a thanks and a pink heart), so I went to buy her a present that I’d have given her next time I saw her. Anyway, I saw her in the streets being a bit .. rushy. Now, I go out wearing white, there’s no way she’d have not saw me. She sort of Ignored me and I just walked past and that was that.

It felt a bit shitty, I don’t know if I’ve done something to her, or said something that didn’t sit right. But it’s all EFFING strange. (I personally don’t think I did)

What do I do? Do I let things go? Do I talk to her in person and try gage if something is wrong?

Last but not least, I’ve noticed her commenting on how some women in the streets would dress if they were not too appropriate - or exposing themselves a bit too much. with a bit of a bitter undertone. I’d never truly paid too much attention to it or id always brush it off by saying “well if that’s what they feel comfortable in”

We all might make comments. But I wonder if there are some “problems” from her because I now definitely do wear some stuff that is definitely considered more revealing and IDGAF.

I hope not, but she’s gone really cold since after my boob job. More or less.

Anyway.. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just let them come to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just let them come to you"

So basically ..let things go?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

You can't force your friendship on someone that doesn't want it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just let them come to you

So basically ..let things go? "

Well keep the door open for her but just crack on with what you're doing for the time being

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Maybe a message to ask if there is anything wrong to at least open the door. But if you get nothing from that then you will have to let her go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your friend is just probly busy its productivity world out there now people have less time to be people anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds to me as if she no longer wants to be friends.

Speaking from experience my daughter has a toxic friend and my advice to her was just start reducing contact and try to engage less and less. My daughter did not want to come straight out with breaking the friendship as the toxic friend has no other friends really. Because she's so toxic. Daughter gave her a chance but now understands.

Not saying that's you OP

but as you say she perhaps doesn't like how you dress , that's tough tittie for her, reduce your contact with her and see what happens. Good luck OP and remember it's your life and she's the one in the wrong if she's blanking you because of how you dress.

My daughters friend was gobby and always spoke behind others backs and daughter wanted nothing to do with that behaviour .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put the ball in their court.

Ask her if you’ve upset her, in some way you’re not aware of, then leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I think I'd suggest a catch up, a drink, hot or cold.

If she seems reluctant, I'd ask if things were ok, eventually leading to asking if things are ok between us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn’t be bothered to read it all but am sure people will be along with some mint advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your friend is just probly busy its productivity world out there now people have less time to be people anymore "

She doesn’t really work… so I doubt she‘d being that productive that she has no more time to send messages.

All I’m saying it’s just odd behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would probably send a message asking if she's okay, say you've noticed she's gone a bit quiet of late, there may be something going on you don't know about. If things remain the same, move on x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds to me as if she no longer wants to be friends.

Speaking from experience my daughter has a toxic friend and my advice to her was just start reducing contact and try to engage less and less. My daughter did not want to come straight out with breaking the friendship as the toxic friend has no other friends really. Because she's so toxic. Daughter gave her a chance but now understands.

Not saying that's you OP

but as you say she perhaps doesn't like how you dress , that's tough tittie for her, reduce your contact with her and see what happens. Good luck OP and remember it's your life and she's the one in the wrong if she's blanking you because of how you dress.

My daughters friend was gobby and always spoke behind others backs and daughter wanted nothing to do with that behaviour ."

Thatd seem to be that sort of technique … or at least how I feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was reading your OP and I was going to ask if it was since your boob job...

Maybe she has body issues and the new you makes her feel bad.

If she was a good friend I'd suggest asking her if she's ok. Ask her round for a coffee.

If not I'd just leave it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly Kylie, I’m sorry that you’ve been left feeling like this.

Personally I always need closure, so I would suggest a catch up and if they say they’re busy would ask if there’s something wrong or if I’d upset them in some way. If there’s nothing back from that then that’s your closure and time to walk away.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I'd definitely go and lay out how you're feeling to them.

Doesn't really matter what kind of friend or what level of closeness you have (Can't really guess that, won't ask).

If it affects you to the point of seeking advice and feeling bad or anxious, it's worth confronting.

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By *ananas57Couple
over a year ago

lake ariel

Just be honest and ask her if anything is off between you two

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't over think it Kylie.

There are several possibilities

1. She doesn't want to be friends with you any more. You will probably never know why and that can be frustrating but it's easier if you can eventually accept that.

2. She has something going on that she needs to deal with on her own. If so she'll sort it and go back to being your friend.

3. She has something going on that she needs help with but doesn't know how to ask.

4. She just needs a bit of space to sort her head out.

5. She has an evil twin who has locked her in a cellar and is impersonating her

My suggestion would be to send one message saying you miss her company, if there's anything you can help with to get in touch if not you're there when she feels more like being sociable. There's no more you can do really.

It is sad to potentially lose a friend though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was reading your OP and I was going to ask if it was since your boob job...

Maybe she has body issues and the new you makes her feel bad.

If she was a good friend I'd suggest asking her if she's ok. Ask her round for a coffee.

If not I'd just leave it. "

I can sort of pin point that things started to go a bit south then. Hence why I brought it up

Yeah I’d probably send her one message to say if everything is okay and to maybe grab a coffee.

If it continues to be this, I’d just leave it.

It’s just all sad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Firstly Kylie, I’m sorry that you’ve been left feeling like this.

Personally I always need closure, so I would suggest a catch up and if they say they’re busy would ask if there’s something wrong or if I’d upset them in some way. If there’s nothing back from that then that’s your closure and time to walk away. "

I hate also feeling like there’s no closure and like I’d wonder if it was me, or it was them. Or both and we just let things go…

Especially as I do see her as a good friend of mine.

What happened today on street really left me feeling a bit shitty

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By *drian HardthrobMan
over a year ago

Worcester

Don't worry about it, if she's dropping off let her go. If you're putting to much effort in to make the friendship work, she can easily use that to her advantage. Either match her energy or keep her at arms length

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Get in touch and arrange to drop the birthday present round. See how that interaction goes then adjust your behaviour accordingly. If she makes excuses about meeting, she’s trying to ditch you. If she want to meet then it’s probably all good and she’s just distracted in some way x

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Leave it a little while, make contact again and see if things change. If not then let it go. Its unfortunate but has to be done. I've been in this exact position before, it is shitty. But they are the ones with the problem, making zero effort.

I found a new "friend" and because I still had baggage left over from my previous friends just not bothering. I then put too much on this new person which seemed to overwhelm them and turn them away from me too.

If they are no longer interested in a friendship, it's really not on you to fight to keep them interested. Not worth the effort or the worry. You will feel so much better for just leaving it be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your friend is just probly busy its productivity world out there now people have less time to be people anymore

She doesn’t really work… so I doubt she‘d being that productive that she has no more time to send messages.

All I’m saying it’s just odd behaviour "
dont press the issue thats how you lose a friend voice of experience

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Don't over think it Kylie.

There are several possibilities

1. She doesn't want to be friends with you any more. You will probably never know why and that can be frustrating but it's easier if you can eventually accept that.

2. She has something going on that she needs to deal with on her own. If so she'll sort it and go back to being your friend.

3. She has something going on that she needs help with but doesn't know how to ask.

4. She just needs a bit of space to sort her head out.

5. She has an evil twin who has locked her in a cellar and is impersonating her

My suggestion would be to send one message saying you miss her company, if there's anything you can help with to get in touch if not you're there when she feels more like being sociable. There's no more you can do really.

It is sad to potentially lose a friend though

"

Quite. People are strange at times, and trying to apply logic, or figure out what's happened can be a waste of time.

It also might make you anxious about your behaviour and to start questioning yourself.

You've not been close that long, let her go her own way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s sad that someone you consider a friend has left you feeling like this. all you can do is ask if there is an issue and maybe talk it over, but we can’t please everyone all the time

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Pub?

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Ask her outright, if she’s a good friend and knows you well she would be expecting you to notice her being distant, she may be going through something herself, ring her and have a conversation x

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By *elightfulharmonyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Okay, here’s Kylie asking again for fucking advice … yes!!!

This time it isn’t about a boy, but it’s about a friend.

We grew extremely close the past year and a half, and I consider her a close friend.

Anyway, the past 6-7 weeks I’ve seen a bit of a decline in our friendship, she started replying less and less to messages (we used to voice note daily) and seeing each other less. Now, I understand, things get in the way, people are busy. But you just know when something is off.

It was her birthday yesterday (I sent her a voice

message saying happy bday and she replied with just a thanks and a pink heart), so I went to buy her a present that I’d have given her next time I saw her. Anyway, I saw her in the streets being a bit .. rushy. Now, I go out wearing white, there’s no way she’d have not saw me. She sort of Ignored me and I just walked past and that was that.

It felt a bit shitty, I don’t know if I’ve done something to her, or said something that didn’t sit right. But it’s all EFFING strange. (I personally don’t think I did)

What do I do? Do I let things go? Do I talk to her in person and try gage if something is wrong?

Last but not least, I’ve noticed her commenting on how some women in the streets would dress if they were not too appropriate - or exposing themselves a bit too much. with a bit of a bitter undertone. I’d never truly paid too much attention to it or id always brush it off by saying “well if that’s what they feel comfortable in”

We all might make comments. But I wonder if there are some “problems” from her because I now definitely do wear some stuff that is definitely considered more revealing and IDGAF.

I hope not, but she’s gone really cold since after my boob job. More or less.

Anyway.. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid."

Hey OP, sorry to hear this has happened with someone you consider a close friend

As a friend I would send a msg asking if everything ok as you’ve not heard from them in a while and hope all it ok, tell them that your there for them should they need it that’s all you can do.

You shouldn’t have to change to suit a person. Keep being you and if she is going through something you don’t know about hopefully they will get back to you in time once they have worked things out. Sending love DH xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kill her!

Or just ask if there is an issue as you have felt a bit of distance. You’ll know you’ve been open with her like a friend would.

Could be anything. She might fancy you, might have personal stuff she can’t share, could be anything really

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

Could be anything, Kylie. They may have something odd going on in their own life, who knows!

You will know best what might work best as a next step … dropping off the present, meeting for a coffee, and either reading the signs or asking outright if everything is ok.

Good luck getting it sorted as this friendship seems important to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Leave it a little while, make contact again and see if things change. If not then let it go. Its unfortunate but has to be done. I've been in this exact position before, it is shitty. But they are the ones with the problem, making zero effort.

I found a new "friend" and because I still had baggage left over from my previous friends just not bothering. I then put too much on this new person which seemed to overwhelm them and turn them away from me too.

If they are no longer interested in a friendship, it's really not on you to fight to keep them interested. Not worth the effort or the worry. You will feel so much better for just leaving it be. "

I see what you mean x I’m definitely trying to be cool about it it’s not like I message her daily still. I’m letting things go but from my side, it feels weird and I feel like ive done something “wrong”

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Okay, here’s Kylie asking again for fucking advice … yes!!!

This time it isn’t about a boy, but it’s about a friend.

We grew extremely close the past year and a half, and I consider her a close friend.

Anyway, the past 6-7 weeks I’ve seen a bit of a decline in our friendship, she started replying less and less to messages (we used to voice note daily) and seeing each other less. Now, I understand, things get in the way, people are busy. But you just know when something is off.

It was her birthday yesterday (I sent her a voice

message saying happy bday and she replied with just a thanks and a pink heart), so I went to buy her a present that I’d have given her next time I saw her. Anyway, I saw her in the streets being a bit .. rushy. Now, I go out wearing white, there’s no way she’d have not saw me. She sort of Ignored me and I just walked past and that was that.

It felt a bit shitty, I don’t know if I’ve done something to her, or said something that didn’t sit right. But it’s all EFFING strange. (I personally don’t think I did)

What do I do? Do I let things go? Do I talk to her in person and try gage if something is wrong?

Last but not least, I’ve noticed her commenting on how some women in the streets would dress if they were not too appropriate - or exposing themselves a bit too much. with a bit of a bitter undertone. I’d never truly paid too much attention to it or id always brush it off by saying “well if that’s what they feel comfortable in”

We all might make comments. But I wonder if there are some “problems” from her because I now definitely do wear some stuff that is definitely considered more revealing and IDGAF.

I hope not, but she’s gone really cold since after my boob job. More or less.

Anyway.. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid.

Hey OP, sorry to hear this has happened with someone you consider a close friend

As a friend I would send a msg asking if everything ok as you’ve not heard from them in a while and hope all it ok, tell them that your there for them should they need it that’s all you can do.

You shouldn’t have to change to suit a person. Keep being you and if she is going through something you don’t know about hopefully they will get back to you in time once they have worked things out. Sending love DH xx"

I mean if her issues are because of me being me and because I dress a certain way, or because my boobs are a certain way. Then the problem is all hers, not mine. And letting this get in the way of a friendship, I find it ridiculous.

But hey. I hope to be wrong

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By *elightfulharmonyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Okay, here’s Kylie asking again for fucking advice … yes!!!

This time it isn’t about a boy, but it’s about a friend.

We grew extremely close the past year and a half, and I consider her a close friend.

Anyway, the past 6-7 weeks I’ve seen a bit of a decline in our friendship, she started replying less and less to messages (we used to voice note daily) and seeing each other less. Now, I understand, things get in the way, people are busy. But you just know when something is off.

It was her birthday yesterday (I sent her a voice

message saying happy bday and she replied with just a thanks and a pink heart), so I went to buy her a present that I’d have given her next time I saw her. Anyway, I saw her in the streets being a bit .. rushy. Now, I go out wearing white, there’s no way she’d have not saw me. She sort of Ignored me and I just walked past and that was that.

It felt a bit shitty, I don’t know if I’ve done something to her, or said something that didn’t sit right. But it’s all EFFING strange. (I personally don’t think I did)

What do I do? Do I let things go? Do I talk to her in person and try gage if something is wrong?

Last but not least, I’ve noticed her commenting on how some women in the streets would dress if they were not too appropriate - or exposing themselves a bit too much. with a bit of a bitter undertone. I’d never truly paid too much attention to it or id always brush it off by saying “well if that’s what they feel comfortable in”

We all might make comments. But I wonder if there are some “problems” from her because I now definitely do wear some stuff that is definitely considered more revealing and IDGAF.

I hope not, but she’s gone really cold since after my boob job. More or less.

Anyway.. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid.

Hey OP, sorry to hear this has happened with someone you consider a close friend

As a friend I would send a msg asking if everything ok as you’ve not heard from them in a while and hope all it ok, tell them that your there for them should they need it that’s all you can do.

You shouldn’t have to change to suit a person. Keep being you and if she is going through something you don’t know about hopefully they will get back to you in time once they have worked things out. Sending love DH xx

I mean if her issues are because of me being me and because I dress a certain way, or because my boobs are a certain way. Then the problem is all hers, not mine. And letting this get in the way of a friendship, I find it ridiculous.

But hey. I hope to be wrong "

Exactly, you could drive yourself crazy going round and round in circles thinking what could be wrong. Hope you figure out what you want to do DH xx

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