FabSwingers.com forum: Compassionate

By *ryandsee OP Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Are we? I am amazed not only at comments on certain threads on here but media in generally how some people look down of the most vulnerable and needy in society and how arrogant and dismissive they can be. Media sensationalism and arrogant attitudes does not help those in need. Picking on the very few cases about those that might abuse the benefits system or other schemes that are there to support the needy, telling people that they are in that situation because they are not managing their money or spending it on stuff they don't need or telling them to stop having kids and such like is totally unacceptable and a shameful attitude to have. I am not really interested in stories of large families claiming benefits, false disability claims, people benefiting from food banks, when they shouldn't, and similar stories that all they do is try to detract from the fact that there are so many vulnerable people suffering and need support. You never know one day that might be you or a loved one. Be compassionate, do your bit if you can to support and stop looking down on those vulnerable people who need help.

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Il y en a toujours l'un qui baise, et l'un qui tourne la joue"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Benefit fraud pales into insignificance in comparison to tax evasion either personal or particularly corporate.

But decades of rule by a certain political party has worked hard to create a divide between rich and poor, and it's hysterical that they have the nerve to ever use the phrase 'levelling up'.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Sadly that's how society has become! Devoid of comapsion and empathy! Obvs not all of society there are still good eggs out there to restore faith in humanity x

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I'm going to stay silent now and just talk about boobs. I have a complete distaste for pretentiousness, snobbery and dislike for people who think they're better than anyone else. It's not good for my blood pressure to keep on commenting.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's not a new thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/04/22 12:13:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost my faith in this country after the last election, we had our chance for real change and we blew it. We can all do our bit but unfortunately this country will always be the same and it's so sad to watch.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

You will always get some who look down on others be it for whatever reason. Sad state of affairs x

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By *ryandsee OP Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"It's not a new thing"

You are of course right but still gind it shameful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world "

Is the word to describe that "selfish" ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/04/22 12:48:25]

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"You will always get some who look down on others be it for whatever reason. Sad state of affairs x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be a distinction between compassion and sympathy.

Compassion must be backed by action otherwise it is just sympathy for another’s situation. You can of course include empathy in this too

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world "

Hope I never get to this stage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world

Is the word to describe that "selfish" ?"
yes i think it is sad to say but its solved by me keeping out of the way of the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world

Is the word to describe that "selfish" ?"

I wouldn't say so, I see it as self care in preserving your mental health. I think this is where we need to display a little empathy for other peoples situations and what they are going through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world "

Same.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"I lost my faith in this country after the last election, we had our chance for real change and we blew it. We can all do our bit but unfortunately this country will always be the same and it's so sad to watch."

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have little compassion anymore my humanity has been stripped thru the harshness of this new world i find it very hard to care about anything outside my 6 foot world

Is the word to describe that "selfish" ?"

I don't think it's selfish as such to care about your own self before anyone else x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

In the end we can only look to ourselves. Every day it's a choice of whether or not we want to be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's a case of being better. Self preservation maybe, with increasing expenditure on surviving daily life surely in the current climate we should take care of our own problems..if we can't do that then compassion for others is going to be a fuel for animosity...and there's enough of that already

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace. "

I have tried but I can't find any compassion for the person who has hurt me most (and not just me). The decades of manipulation and lies go too deep. I'm not angry though. Maybe that's the best I can do.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

I don't think anybody except Jesus is truly compassionate. The best you can do in this instance is good enough I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

I don't think anybody except Jesus is truly compassionate. The best you can do in this instance is good enough I think

Yes, I’m not saying I can always do it, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

I don't think anybody except Jesus is truly compassionate. The best you can do in this instance is good enough I think

Yes, I’m not saying I can always do it, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes I think. "

I have no problem finding compassion for people in most circumstances. But I can't find it for him and I don't want to. I was struck by a thread recently about whether you'd give a bed for the night to your ex if they were in need. No, I couldn't.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

I don't think anybody except Jesus is truly compassionate. The best you can do in this instance is good enough I think

Yes, I’m not saying I can always do it, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes I think. "

There are certain inhabitants of this world I will never feel compassion for, no matter how hard I practice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

I don't think anybody except Jesus is truly compassionate. The best you can do in this instance is good enough I think

Yes, I’m not saying I can always do it, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes I think.

Surely that’s giving yourself more compassion? You need it more in that instance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?"

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all."

I leave all that to the Archbishop of Canterbury. I'm just an ordinary person

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all."

I think anyone who says they do are just trying to make themselves look good x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The daily lack of compassion displayed in these forums towards people perceived not to "deserve" it astonishes me sometimes. I'm not talking about people on benefits or who use food banks just (usually) men who ask awkward questions that clearly have some personal pain behind them and are treated with contempt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I leave all that to the Archbishop of Canterbury. I'm just an ordinary person

He's a step away from God afterall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I think anyone who says they do are just trying to make themselves look good x"

Good old virtue signalling

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I leave all that to the Archbishop of Canterbury. I'm just an ordinary person

He's a step away from God afterall"

The great Justin Welby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I think anyone who says they do are just trying to make themselves look good x

Good old virtue signalling

"
i thought patience was a virtue now theres a signal for it too

i must live with my head in snow or something i only just learned the var penalty signal ffs

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I think anyone who says they do are just trying to make themselves look good x

Good old virtue signalling

Yip. Not going to lie, I for one have zero compassion, empathy and tolerance for certain people. If that makes me selfish or whatever then so be it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Jeremy Kyle society with the Tory media constantly pushing beliefs that if someone is struggling, it is their fault only, they're quite simply lazy and entitled.

That's created a false sense of self pride and entitlement in itself.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I think anyone who says they do are just trying to make themselves look good x"

Um nope not at all! Certainly hope not! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing with finding compassion, is yes, it is REALLY hard, but you can do it, even if it comes and goes.

There always a reason for people being the way they are, childhood conditioning/trauma/ life events, and to look behind peoples actions and see why they react the way they do, you can start to understand, and even if you don’t know why they behave in a certain way, there’s always a reason.

People can make digs at what I’m saying all they like, but I’d rather live like that, with understanding.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, and I’m certainly not virtue signalling, but I’d rather have compassion than not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The daily lack of compassion displayed in these forums towards people perceived not to "deserve" it astonishes me sometimes. I'm not talking about people on benefits or who use food banks just (usually) men who ask awkward questions that clearly have some personal pain behind them and are treated with contempt. "

Yep and nobody jumping in when others are rinsing them is neither showing sympathy, empathy or compassion

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I'm probably not the most compassionate of people in all honesty. I can accept the reasons of how and why some people are and that is about it.

My Dad abused me I have little compassion for him, I kind of understand why he did what he did and I wish him no harm, but I do not feel sympathy towards him.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"The thing with finding compassion, is yes, it is REALLY hard, but you can do it, even if it comes and goes.

People can make digs at what I’m saying all they like, but I’d rather live like that, with understanding.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, and I’m certainly not virtue signalling, but I’d rather have compassion than not. "

Wholeheartedly get this and agree! Often get told by friends/family omg u would make excuses for Hitler! I really wouldn't! But do try and understand why people are like they are! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can be truly compassionate towards everyone. It isn't possible. We have to choose where to direct our compassion.

If we were truly compassionate we'd show it towards those we perceive not to display it, wouldn't we?

I would agree with this...we just can't or won't show compassion to all.

I think anyone who says they do are just trying to make themselves look good x

Good old virtue signalling

Yip. Not going to lie, I for one have zero compassion, empathy and tolerance for certain people. If that makes me selfish or whatever then so be it x"

Not at all, it's called self preservation and saving what you have for those you feel deserve it.

Compassion for yourself first and foremost

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

That's a daily occurrence on here. And half the time those who are throwing the digs are the same who are in the be nice thread's saying the complete opposite of how they act.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The thing with finding compassion, is yes, it is REALLY hard, but you can do it, even if it comes and goes.

People can make digs at what I’m saying all they like, but I’d rather live like that, with understanding.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, and I’m certainly not virtue signalling, but I’d rather have compassion than not. "

I wouldn't call myself devoid of compassion but I don't have it in me to show it to every human.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a daily occurrence on here. And half the time those who are throwing the digs are the same who are in the be nice thread's saying the complete opposite of how they act. "

Yep

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Anyway it's not a compassion competition. I think we all have it in us to a greater or lesser degree

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Yep and nobody jumping in when others are rinsing them is neither showing sympathy, empathy or compassion "

Yes sad to say I've stayed out of these threads instead of jumping in Which as u say is as bad to stand and do nothing Im guilty of this at times!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Anyway it's not a compassion competition. I think we all have it in us to a greater or lesser degree

Exactly. Thank god we are all different or the world would be a much boring place x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep and nobody jumping in when others are rinsing them is neither showing sympathy, empathy or compassion

Yes sad to say I've stayed out of these threads instead of jumping in Which as u say is as bad to stand and do nothing Im guilty of this at times!

I think we all are tbh x

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Yep and nobody jumping in when others are rinsing them is neither showing sympathy, empathy or compassion

Yes sad to say I've stayed out of these threads instead of jumping in Which as u say is as bad to stand and do nothing Im guilty of this at times!

Me too because it's not worth the hassle x

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Anyway it's not a compassion competition. I think we all have it in us to a greater or lesser degree

Yep. I don't think anyone shows compassion to everyone, we're too prone to human follies but for the most part it's there, to some extent in every person.

The rest of it I don't have the energy to go back through and read.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I haven't read the whole thread but just in regard to jumping on comments that people make without knowing what they have going on to trigger those comments there can often be forum history behind it.

I know of a regular forum poster who told me once that she takes great pleasure in winding people up and starting threads that she knows will descend into chaos.

I don't post on anything she starts as a result

However when she then starts threads about something bad that has happened to her I don't have an ounce of sympathy and when lots of people are saying how horrible it is that she had to endure this that or the other I can only think that either it is all just as fake as her incendiary threads or it really has come back to bite her.

As others have already said it's not just those who comment on the be kind threads who don't practice what they preach but often those who start the threads with a particular agenda in mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For those that are interested, there’s a really beautiful practice called Tonglen, which is a compassion/healing meditation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think i have much compassion or empathy, but i wouldn't deliberately be unkind to anyone, no matter who they were

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By *ryandsee OP Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Whilst of course we can't be compassionate or even empathetic to everyone as there are situations that it would not even be appropriate or not want to, I am compassionate , feel empathy for and try to do my little bit if I can for those in difficult circumstances. Especially those that are financially struggling to make ends meet at the moment without judging them or trying to find reasons to disprove their need. As I said before, none of us know what is round the corner and if we might be in that situation one day. The current cost of living has impacted on so many people and I am unapologetic about the way I feel. We don't have to be saintly to be compassionate and caring and that is the kind of society I like to see and live in. I am sure others may think otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst of course we can't be compassionate or even empathetic to everyone as there are situations that it would not even be appropriate or not want to, I am compassionate , feel empathy for and try to do my little bit if I can for those in difficult circumstances. Especially those that are financially struggling to make ends meet at the moment without judging them or trying to find reasons to disprove their need. As I said before, none of us know what is round the corner and if we might be in that situation one day. The current cost of living has impacted on so many people and I am unapologetic about the way I feel. We don't have to be saintly to be compassionate and caring and that is the kind of society I like to see and live in. I am sure others may think otherwise."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being compassionate and coming from the heart is the only way for me.

Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of thought adjustment to get there, but I do.

It’s hard when someone has hurt you, or been unkind, but there’s always a reason for things, and it’s being able to see past your own ego and find compassion that leads to peace.

I don't think anybody except Jesus is truly compassionate. The best you can do in this instance is good enough I think

Yes, I’m not saying I can always do it, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes I think.

Surely that’s giving yourself more compassion? You need it more in that instance "

I don't give myself compassion. Others are far more deserving (except him!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All are equal no matter where we come from, what status we have or what sexual orientation we are/choose to be. Learn to be open-minded and embrace all opinions regardless of your own

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

The problem with compassion at times is that it stops some truely hard but necessary decisions being made. I'm not defending some of the terrible things that happen because they needed to happen, as some will use it as an excuse to do selfish things.

But compassion can be just as much of a curse as it can be a gift.

Blind compassion is just as detrimental as the lack of it can be. It closes us off to a bigger picture at times, and some hard facts that compassion is used to shield ourselves from.

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