FabSwingers.com forum: Planning a wank.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s been so long since I treated myself to one of these. Forgotten how you do it. Tips?

Wrong answers welcome

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Use Vicks vaporub as lube

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I know a guy.

He'll hook you up.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

First get home from work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

D."

I find Deepheat is a bit better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hit it until it works

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube your penis with Deep heat.

Use a wank sock but fill it with sand for added texture and friction.

If you chew a Duracell bettery it adds the the stimulation.

And think of your nan as you cum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hit it until it works

Like that episode of the inbetweeners.

‘Get big! Get big! Why aren’t you doing it?! Get big’

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I have enough time to try both.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I will try it later

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Don't forgot the condom, to avoid any unwanted spillage.

LvM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know a guy.

He'll hook you up.

Will he do the first one for me?

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I have enough time to try both.

Let me know about the Deepheat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lube your penis with Deep heat.

Use a wank sock but fill it with sand for added texture and friction.

If you chew a Duracell bettery it adds the the stimulation.

And think of your nan as you cum."

Only one here I’ve not tried is the battery. But I keep an open mind

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Don't forgot the condom, to avoid any unwanted spillage.

LvM"

We call that a ‘posh wank’ round here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forgot the condom, to avoid any unwanted spillage.

LvM"

Don’t want to get any in my arse. Cba to get pregnant

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I have enough time to try both.

Let me know about the Deepheat

D."
don’t worry I’ll report back

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Plenty of hot chillies for the Willie....

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Be sure to set the mood with candles and incense.

Churches are traditionally well-stocked with these

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Plenty of hot chillies for the Willie...."

I usually use vanilla extract as lube but I’m open minded

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be sure to set the mood with candles and incense.

Churches are traditionally well-stocked with these

Should I steal from the church or just wank in the church? Tbh if I wank there and fall asleep at least I’ll make it to Mass the next day to repent.

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

"Be sure to set the mood with candles and incense.

Churches are traditionally well-stocked with these

Should I steal from the church or just wank in the church? Tbh if I wank there and fall asleep at least I’ll make it to Mass the next day to repent. "

Just don't do it onto the collection plate. The looks you will get!

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I have enough time to try both.

Let me know about the Deepheat

D. don’t worry I’ll report back"

If it stings a bit dip your helmet in iced water.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Mint source shower gel. That'll have it throbbing in no time

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"I know a guy.

He'll hook you up.

Will he do the first one for me? "

...actually had a message from some other guy since posting this who has offered to [DETAIL REDACTED], so exciting!

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Don't forgot the condom, to avoid any unwanted spillage.

LvM

We call that a ‘posh wank’ round here

D."

Just like Price Charles did it

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of chilli powder and salt in the palm of the wanking hand helps

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

A vacuum cleaner would help you a great deal

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"A vacuum cleaner would help you a great deal "

It would get rid of the fluff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just spat my coffee out at that last line haha

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"A vacuum cleaner would help you a great deal

It would get rid of the fluff

Of course, helps with bum fluff too. FYI don’t insert the full length of hose…

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Also, have heard crunchy peanut butter is a good lubricant…. Let me know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be sure to set the mood with candles and incense.

Churches are traditionally well-stocked with these

Should I steal from the church or just wank in the church? Tbh if I wank there and fall asleep at least I’ll make it to Mass the next day to repent.

Just don't do it onto the collection plate. The looks you will get!

Noted. Might be best to just steal the candles and do it at home?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I have enough time to try both.

Let me know about the Deepheat

D. don’t worry I’ll report back

If it stings a bit dip your helmet in iced water.

Bike helmet? Should I be wearing the helmet whilst I’m wanking?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mint source shower gel. That'll have it throbbing in no time

This makes my arsehole throb so I’m thinking to use it up there whilst I’m wanking

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

I find Deepheat is a bit better

I have enough time to try both.

Let me know about the Deepheat

D. don’t worry I’ll report back

If it stings a bit dip your helmet in iced water.

Bike helmet? Should I be wearing the helmet whilst I’m wanking? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know a guy.

He'll hook you up.

Will he do the first one for me?

...actually had a message from some other guy since posting this who has offered to [DETAIL REDACTED], so exciting!

Men are so unpredictable you never know what’s going to happen next

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Sand paper, for extra sensation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurture a fetish for delayed public transport, open the national rail app, edge yourself while the 10.15 from Harrogate is reported running 7 minutes late.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit of chilli powder and salt in the palm of the wanking hand helps "

I LOVE Seasoning my meat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A vacuum cleaner would help you a great deal "

I like them. But the air isn’t that warm. It’s a bit cold. You know?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also, have heard crunchy peanut butter is a good lubricant…. Let me know

Will try when I’m inserting the butt plug. Or shall I use it on my willy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sand paper, for extra sensation..."

I tried this once. Lots of friction. Just like real sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nurture a fetish for delayed public transport, open the national rail app, edge yourself while the 10.15 from Harrogate is reported running 7 minutes late. "

Fuck you turn me on. Shall we take this to stories and fantasies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nurture a fetish for delayed public transport, open the national rail app, edge yourself while the 10.15 from Harrogate is reported running 7 minutes late.

Fuck you turn me on. Shall we take this to stories and fantasies

The delay repay orgasm alone is worth the effort

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

40 grit sandpaper works best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"40 grit sandpaper works best

But your cock is gonna get smaller and smaller…

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Cheese grater....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nurture a fetish for delayed public transport, open the national rail app, edge yourself while the 10.15 from Harrogate is reported running 7 minutes late.

Fuck you turn me on. Shall we take this to stories and fantasies

The delay repay orgasm alone is worth the effort "

I’ve had one of these. 11/10. Would recommend to a friend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"40 grit sandpaper works best

But your cock is gonna get smaller and smaller…"

But smoother and smoother

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cheese grater...."

For the dick cheese? Will save that for a pasta bake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"40 grit sandpaper works best

But your cock is gonna get smaller and smaller…

But smoother and smoother

Doing that then buying ribbed condoms would be the definition of futility.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"40 grit sandpaper works best

But your cock is gonna get smaller and smaller…

But smoother and smoother

Doing that then buying ribbed condoms would be the definition of futility. "

I buy ribbed condoms for the partners that say ‘I miss the old steve’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smooth marmite all over it first

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By *ove pussey to pleaseMan
over a year ago

cannock

Deep heat is better lol ??

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Smooth marmite all over it first

You'll either love it or hate it

LvM

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By *ndtheswingersMan
over a year ago

colchester

Don't forget to wipe your cock on the curtains when you've finished

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't forget to wipe your cock on the curtains when you've finished"

That’s disgusting.

Wipe it in the neighbours car door handle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Smooth marmite all over it first

Cheeky, I would love it if you were hiding in my marmite jar. That would do it for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Deep heat is better lol ?? "

So I’ve heard. I’m a bit excited to try it if I’m honest. Is it like tiger balm? I’ve used that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Smooth marmite all over it first

You'll either love it or hate it

LvM"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget to wipe your cock on the curtains when you've finished"
aftercare. I’m worth it. I’ll do this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to plan?

Nothing quite like a spontaneous tickle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s been so long since I treated myself to one of these. Forgotten how you do it. Tips?

Wrong answers welcome

A few papercuts around the shaft and banjo string then use English mustard as lube.

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

"Mint source shower gel. That'll have it throbbing in no time

That’s lovely that is

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

Find 6 spice grinders, plug em all in and get someone to set 1 grinder plug onto ON, the others OFF. And ensure you don’t see, find out or check later.

Wank out for 1 min only (from your earlier spice use maybe?) and put your fella into a random unit of your choosing. Press the power button to play a lil penis roulette.

If you ejac before you put it in the blender stops all activity.

If nothing minces up, wank another min and try a remaining grinder. Again, if you ejac within the 1 you stop the game.

Repeat until you ejac or ouch moment!

I suggest you DON’T ACTUALLY DO ANY OF THIS!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use Vicks vaporub as lube

D."

Or deep heat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s been so long since I treated myself to one of these. Forgotten how you do it. Tips?

Wrong answers welcome

Cut a chilli open and rub on the helmet first…..you can thank me later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Danger wank.

Get yourself close then call someone up stairs. Gotta finish before they catch you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Danger wank.

Get yourself close then call someone up stairs. Gotta finish before they catch you. "

You’re suggesting some good ol fashioned mum come here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errrrr no mate. But whatever floats your boat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Errrrr no mate. But whatever floats your boat. "

It really doesn’t thats the origin of the term though and I have cursed you to know that forever!

My work here is done.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Get your left hand to text your right hand to set up the time and place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deep heat, as you dont want to pull a muscle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried using a hair dryer and a water bottle?

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