FabSwingers.com forum: Farting in public

By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

I will admit I am often trumping at the gym on the squat rack / presses

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Anyone else drop one while shopping then casually turn around to assess the damage before walking off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With IBS it’s best not to be behind me till about mid day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just let rip.....& run away..

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"Anyone else drop one while shopping then casually turn around to assess the damage before walking off?"

My house mate does that she is evil as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I farted in a cafe once and the couple at the next table thought the drains had backed up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With IBS it’s best not to be behind me till about mid day

Mine is 24 hours

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Better out than in

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"I farted in a cafe once and the couple at the next table thought the drains had backed up "

Did you style it out and make someone else feel guilty

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

I literally crop dust for about a km about 20 minutes into a run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is so funny tho

!!! I’m laughing so hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I farted in a cafe once and the couple at the next table thought the drains had backed up

Did you style it out and make someone else feel guilty "

Of course I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With IBS it’s best not to be behind me till about mid day

Mine is 24 hours

My tablets seem to work for about 12 hours

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"That is so funny tho

!!! I’m laughing so hard

Careful you don’t fart girl x

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"I farted in a cafe once and the couple at the next table thought the drains had backed up

Did you style it out and make someone else feel guilty

Of course I did

You sir are legend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is so funny tho

!!! I’m laughing so hard

Careful you don’t fart girl x

How very dare you

a Lady never farts

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"That is so funny tho

!!! I’m laughing so hard

Careful you don’t fart girl x

How very dare you

a Lady never farts

Do what I do and blame the estrogen

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"That is so funny tho

!!! I’m laughing so hard

Careful you don’t fart girl x

How very dare you

a Lady never farts

Current girlfriend does. I really don’t like it!

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

I will admit I am often trumping at the gym on the squat rack / presses "
did it ever come into your head that she may not be able to help it she my have a condition that she might be extremely embarrassed about.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

yeah, when you do martial arts on the slower movements - that can really get people farting.... I can recall 2 or 3 occasions (fortunately for once not me!)

It makes the class laugh & the teacher shouts at us & tells us all to grow up.

It's hard getting the concentration back but you smile for the rest of the lesson.

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

I will admit I am often trumping at the gym on the squat rack / presses did it ever come into your head that she may not be able to help it she my have a condition that she might be extremely embarrassed about. "

No as she was pushing it hard and laughing with her fella about it . So it was pretty safe she has no issue on that front , she didn’t know I was pretty close behind is all I walk pretty silently

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

When you got to drop your guts you got to drop them.....

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I'm one of those people who find that kinda thingy funny.

I mean, i'm a gentleman so never do it myself though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

So what…… you need to chill out this thread is funny and only intended as fun

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

If in doubt let it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If in doubt let it out

Never fart in front of a lady

Always let her go first

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"If in doubt let it out

Never fart in front of a lady

Always let her go first

Especially if in a bath

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Whoever smelt it dealt it in my book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whoever smelt it dealt it in my book

I only smell roses

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By *laymates30Couple
over a year ago

The West

What about fanny farts or queefs though? My worst are always in quiet yoga classes for some reason.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Have that one on me Mrs Pendlebury-Brown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about fanny farts or queefs though? My worst are always in quiet yoga classes for some reason."

Always acceptable

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Whoever smelt it dealt it in my book

I only smell roses

Little pockets of unicorn dust

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

My ex used to walk 20 feet in front of me in Asda, fart, then grin and run around to the next aisle so whoever was coming up behind me thought it was me.

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By *ames5169Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Nothing as satisfying as a good fart in bed and then wafting the covers!!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Are you sure she just didn’t step on a duck OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you sure she just didn’t step on a duck OP? "

I have done that before and it’s a very different noise

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

So what…… you need to chill out this thread is funny and only intended as fun "
so you are ok with embarrassing someone lady in public for fun.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"If in doubt let it out

Never fart in front of a lady

Always let her go first

Especially if in a bath "

It tickles your bum if you do it in the bath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

So what…… you need to chill out this thread is funny and only intended as fun so you are ok with embarrassing someone lady in public for fun. "

Yep so was her husband….. give it a rest nobody cares

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By *iltsTSgirl OP TV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"So I was in town today walking behind this couple and the lady must have farted about 4 times in a row I was about 3 feet behind so caught the full brunt of it.

I did walk past and say I think you dropped something , the guy thought it was hilarious

she not so much.

So anyone here been caught behind of windy people or are you infact one that likes curl off a few while out strolling all zero fucks given ..

So what…… you need to chill out this thread is funny and only intended as fun so you are ok with embarrassing someone lady in public for fun. "

She wasn’t embarrassed as they were laughing about it. If anything she should have looked behind or at reflections to see if anyone was close behind. She didn’t so clearly it was something amusing between them but she was startled when I walked past and made the jokey comment

the guy thought it was hilarious .

I don’t think someone gets embarrassed if they are happily pushing straining out loud farts in public and laughing about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex used to walk 20 feet in front of me in Asda, fart, then grin and run around to the next aisle so whoever was coming up behind me thought it was me."

Banter

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"I farted in a cafe once and the couple at the next table thought the drains had backed up "

I'm actually crying laughing at this! You have made my day

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I find all things fart funny x

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Seriously, Google MSN twenty things that you didn't know about farts. There is such an article on there. Little known fact, less than 1% of farts actually stink, and believe it or not, although men fart more than women do, women's fart stink more than men's farts do. Not a lot of people know that!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I like to crop dust when on escalators

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a really important meeting at work with potential clients from all around the country.

The bosses daughter is the perfect pretty pampered princess but she's so echo headed but innocent and a lovely person.

Anyway she's writing key notes down and recording the meeting and all the suits in the room are putting forward what they have to offer while the bosses daughter was handing out spread sheets. As she bent over to get more out of her draw she let out the wettest loudest longest fart ever. It lasted ages like time stood still. You could actually hear the bubbles in it. She went absolutely scarlet and walked out the room. I completely lost it laughing and everyone else just carried on like nothing happened. I had to excuse myself and leave the room as I could not stop laughing. As I got into the corridor I could see her leaving in her car and that made me laugh more.

Anyway the day after her dad had a bit of a go at me for laughing and said it was unprofessional. So I had to keep a straight face all day. Hours later I could hear her listening to the meeting recording and then I heard the fart again in the audio note. I had to walk away for 10 minutes outside and compose myself as I was crying with laughter. Oh and I also had a bollocking for calling her bubbles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With IBS it’s best not to be behind me till about mid day

Mine is 24 hours

My tablets seem to work for about 12 hours

Maybe 24 hours was a slight exaggeration

but I do fart what seems like 24 hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love threads like this! Better out than in, that's what I say! Got to love the silent but violent ones

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By *aptain Pugwash1000Man
over a year ago

CRNW

"Anyone else drop one while shopping then casually turn around to assess the damage before walking off?"

Quiet often haha

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By *ihusband84Man
over a year ago

SHEERNESS

Was in Iceland get some bits dropped a silent one and moved on few seconds later heard you dirty git and a old lady bashed her husband

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

For some reason in my 20's I had a fetish for hotdogs and ate nothing but them for about a week. It was a mates friend who I didn't know at all who openly came out and said, "you know, you're a really nice guy and I like you, so don't take this the wrong way but you really do smell".

It was said that honestly I didn't even think to say.. it's not me it's him.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"For some reason in my 20's I had a fetish for hotdogs and ate nothing but them for about a week. It was a mates friend who I didn't know at all who openly came out and said, "you know, you're a really nice guy and I like you, so don't take this the wrong way but you really do smell".

It was said that honestly I didn't even think to say.. it's not me it's him.

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By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago

Not looking to meet new peeps.

"With IBS it’s best not to be behind me till about mid day

And this is funny how ?

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

More tea vicar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inhale inhale .... You're the victim ... ..

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By *ob rodMan
over a year ago

lancaster

There’s been a few done in yoga class whilst the farts were obviously funny but what was even funnier was us been told off and told to grow up just as she had finished her rant someone farted

Seriously could hardly breathe

She was fuming and face like thunder

And when she finished said let hope we can all be adults next week

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"With IBS it’s best not to be behind me till about mid day

And this is funny how ?

Because it will find you.. See what I did there

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By *dy635guyMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

Yes it has been known.

I was once chatting to a girl who could do serious SBDs, and she seemed not to understand my eagerness to beat a hasty retreat when she let one out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whoever smelt it delt it

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I do have a peep to see if there's anyone about.

A couple of weeks back I'd been holding my farts in all shift. I normally start singing from my rectum the second the last customer is out the door. Well this time their leaving almost coincided with my bus being due (hourly at that time of night) so instead of my normal orchestra I pegged it to the bus stop. Once there I was ready to drop my guts (and knew it was gonna be loud) when I noticed a set of feet inside the bus shelter.

Bollocks. Gotta hold it.

Bigger bollocks, bus is running late. Urgh. I'm gurgling and getting stabby gut pains but still keep it in knowing its gonna echo.

Anywhoooo. The bus comes.

The man in the shelter I was too polite to let rip in front of...... turned out he was deaf.

I held it all the way home.

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