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Trans Visibility Day: My Story

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wasn’t sure whether to post this as I kinda prefer to lay low but as it’s trans awareness day, I just thought I’d share a little something from my own personal experience of what it’s like to be trans, because let’s be real. A lot of people don’t really know what it is like for people like me.

So here it goes:

What is it really like to be trans?!? You might wonder…

To be trans is not understanding yourself for years, why you don’t feel at home in your own body. With parts that you feel don’t belong to you and wish were never there in the first place. Wishing you were born “right”.

It’s like feeling forever lost and wishing things were different, you self loathe for ages and that can’t be happening to you, can it?

Your mind will play tricks on you and you start to believe that nobody will EVER want you or truly love you, and that even your own mother and father will drop you just for being yourself.

All this, till someday… at some point in time, something switches. And you find the strength to choose yourself. And not in a selfish kind of way, but In a self love kind of way. It’s that piece of the puzzle that finally sets in you and it all suddenly starts to

make sense.

Sense on why you felt extremely awkward as a kid when you just wished the thing in between your legs would fall off, or why you felt so awkward with boys in their spaces, or why you desperately wished you were one of the girls and couldn’t understand why you weren’t one of them.

To be trans, is to be strong and confident. Because you get

Reminded a lot that you are not like the others, but the reality is that you are just like any other, made of flesh with feelings and insecurities. And dreams!

Being trans is a lot of things, but it isn’t a choice and it isn’t a trend.

The journey to transition is hard.

it takes time, dedication, luck … money. It takes patience, but once you found the strength to do your first steps, it gets easier.

Even during the painful and scary moments, after surgeries or when getting zapped in parts that just hurt like hell. Even when you feel defeated. You know it’s all done in order to be what you were supposed to be born in the first place. To feel truly

at home and at peace within yourself.

Because those steps, whether big or small. Become thousands and ten of thousands, and in that journey, that at some point you felt

was like climbing Mount Everest, you will look back and see that you made what you thought impossible, possible.

I may have not been blessed with the body I should have been born with, as a biological female (and I’m not talking about how pretty or not I look. I’m talking about that biological female body I crave and the experiences I will forever miss as a woman - like giving birth).

And to this day, I sometime still wish and morn for it, because let’s be honest. it’d have been easier*. But there’s no point in wishing. Is there?

One thing I’m sure of, is that I’m very proud of how far I’ve come , and all the people in my life have seen how much joy I radiate now and that, makes me feel so lucky to have had the best support system a girl like me, could EVER have wished for!

and even tho there’s a lot of noise at the moment surrounding trans issues, with bad people in the LGBT community shining bad light on trans, going round the wrong way, (I wish I had the answers in how to deal with some of those concerns but I don’t)

I hope that my own story shed some light on some issues, and showed how much of a normal tranquil life, women and men of trans experience want.

Just like you.

Ps: If you read it all, thanks so much !

*notation: when I said easier, I meant, in my self assurance in being at home in my body without having to deal with everything in order to be my true self.

I am in no way implying that being a woman is easier.

Women go through a hella lot of shit. And you girls are amazing! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *erverseintentionsMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

This is another subject I'm really unaware of and I appreciate your post. I don't judge anyone for anything . But it's nice to be freely educated on subjects that are very touchy to approach

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Thank you for sharing Kylie x

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By *erverseintentionsMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"This is another subject I'm really unaware of and I appreciate your post. I don't judge anyone for anything . But it's nice to be freely educated on subjects that are very touchy to approach "

I'd like to discuss transpeople in sport .. but I wouldn't want to instigate an argument or any offense to anyone ..

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

xxx

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read it all xxx

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

There's a lot of emotionally important things there, things that get lost in the noise of a WiFi connection.

Appreciate you posting it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you so much for sharing your story here Kylie. A very touching and emotional journey you’ve had and one I am sure was nowhere near as easy as you have described. You inspire me!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Thank you for sharing Kylie xx

J x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is another subject I'm really unaware of and I appreciate your post. I don't judge anyone for anything . But it's nice to be freely educated on subjects that are very touchy to approach

I'd like to discuss transpeople in sport .. but I wouldn't want to instigate an argument or any offense to anyone .. "

I think if it’s a debate and handled correctly from all sides then it’s only fair to discuss stuff like that. I’m very on the fence when it comes to trans athletes and am unsure.

I can see both sides. X

But I didn’t want to make this thread about trans sports as I don’t do sports apart from yoga and Pole dancing (and not competitively) but yeah

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you so much for sharing your story here Kylie. A very touching and emotional journey you’ve had and one I am sure was nowhere near as easy as you have described. You inspire me! "

Thanks!! Trust me, mine was probably

a lot more positive and “easy” than a lot of others out there.

Who lost family or friends over it, or couldn’t find the money for surgeries or to even have the medical care.

So I would say I’m one of the lucky ones as I couldn’t have done it without my family and friends

Looking at the bright side right? X

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By *r laidbackMan
over a year ago

London & New Brighton


"Wasn’t sure whether to post this as I kinda prefer to lay low but as it’s trans awareness day, I just thought I’d share a little something from my own personal experience of what it’s like to be trans, because let’s be real. A lot of people don’t really know what it is like for people like me.

So here it goes:

What is it really like to be trans?!? You might wonder…

To be trans is not understanding yourself for years, why you don’t feel at home in your own body. With parts that you feel don’t belong to you and wish were never there in the first place. Wishing you were born “right”.

It’s like feeling forever lost and wishing things were different, you self loathe for ages and that can’t be happening to you, can it?

Your mind will play tricks on you and you start to believe that nobody will EVER want you or truly love you, and that even your own mother and father will drop you just for being yourself.

All this, till someday… at some point in time, something switches. And you find the strength to choose yourself. And not in a selfish kind of way, but In a self love kind of way. It’s that piece of the puzzle that finally sets in you and it all suddenly starts to

make sense.

Sense on why you felt extremely awkward as a kid when you just wished the thing in between your legs would fall off, or why you felt so awkward with boys in their spaces, or why you desperately wished you were one of the girls and couldn’t understand why you weren’t one of them.

To be trans, is to be strong and confident. Because you get

Reminded a lot that you are not like the others, but the reality is that you are just like any other, made of flesh with feelings and insecurities. And dreams!

Being trans is a lot of things, but it isn’t a choice and it isn’t a trend.

The journey to transition is hard.

it takes time, dedication, luck … money. It takes patience, but once you found the strength to do your first steps, it gets easier.

Even during the painful and scary moments, after surgeries or when getting zapped in parts that just hurt like hell. Even when you feel defeated. You know it’s all done in order to be what you were supposed to be born in the first place. To feel truly

at home and at peace within yourself.

Because those steps, whether big or small. Become thousands and ten of thousands, and in that journey, that at some point you felt

was like climbing Mount Everest, you will look back and see that you made what you thought impossible, possible.

I may have not been blessed with the body I should have been born with, as a biological female (and I’m not talking about how pretty or not I look. I’m talking about that biological female body I crave and the experiences I will forever miss as a woman - like giving birth).

And to this day, I sometime still wish and morn for it, because let’s be honest. it’d have been easier*. But there’s no point in wishing. Is there?

One thing I’m sure of, is that I’m very proud of how far I’ve come , and all the people in my life have seen how much joy I radiate now and that, makes me feel so lucky to have had the best support system a girl like me, could EVER have wished for!

and even tho there’s a lot of noise at the moment surrounding trans issues, with bad people in the LGBT community shining bad light on trans, going round the wrong way, (I wish I had the answers in how to deal with some of those concerns but I don’t)

I hope that my own story shed some light on some issues, and showed how much of a normal tranquil life, women and men of trans experience want.

Just like you.

Ps: If you read it all, thanks so much !

*notation: when I said easier, I meant, in my self assurance in being at home in my body without having to deal with everything in order to be my true self.

I am in no way implying that being a woman is easier.

Women go through a hella lot of shit. And you girls are amazing! X"

Thats deep, thank you for sharing, I'm happy your at a place where you love the person you are now, and anyone who is going through the same feelings you had, im sure will feel encourage by your story, you have a beautiful face and body, reading this has showed your inner beauty too, well done for believing in yourself.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

You are such a brave, positive & inspiring person to so many people madam xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love you. You inspiration.

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

Yet another well written and thought provoking post from you Kylie, thanks for sharing!

MJ x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks Kylie.

I feel you've done more here for Trans people than anything I've personally seen so far.

For the general public to become aware and to begin to understand, there has to be understanding from all angles.

For you reaching out this way shows to me that you have that understanding, add to that your knowledge and experience, you can make a difference reaching out to those that don't and yet want to understand.

Much respect to you Kylie.

I'll say one thing that I disagree with though, raise your game, I mean Grealish for goodness sake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love you. You inspiration. "

x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks Kylie.

I feel you've done more here for Trans people than anything I've personally seen so far.

For the general public to become aware and to begin to understand, there has to be understanding from all angles.

For you reaching out this way shows to me that you have that understanding, add to that your knowledge and experience, you can make a difference reaching out to those that don't and yet want to understand.

Much respect to you Kylie.

I'll say one thing that I disagree with though, raise your game, I mean Grealish for goodness sake

"

Thanks so much for saying that, I really was on the fence whether to do this or not. But I feel there’s been so much noise lately on the forum that I thought I’d try put my own experiences and see if people would maybe have a further understanding on what it’s like to be a woman of trans experience x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You are such a brave, positive & inspiring person to so many people madam xx"

I’m still waiting for that Gail’s

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings, Kylie

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Thankyou for sharing kylie, its been wonderful watching your journey and i cant wait to see what the future holds for you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for the insight into your journey, Kylie

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Thanks Kylie.

I feel you've done more here for Trans people than anything I've personally seen so far.

For the general public to become aware and to begin to understand, there has to be understanding from all angles.

For you reaching out this way shows to me that you have that understanding, add to that your knowledge and experience, you can make a difference reaching out to those that don't and yet want to understand.

Much respect to you Kylie.

I'll say one thing that I disagree with though, raise your game, I mean Grealish for goodness sake

Thanks so much for saying that, I really was on the fence whether to do this or not. But I feel there’s been so much noise lately on the forum that I thought I’d try put my own experiences and see if people would maybe have a further understanding on what it’s like to be a woman of trans experience x "

I try and stay out of it these days. Besides you generally make the relevant points anyway. What I do like is no matter how direct that comment may be your reply is never malicious. Good humour and patience is always the key to educate others in my opinion.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"Thank you so much for sharing your story here Kylie. A very touching and emotional journey you’ve had and one I am sure was nowhere near as easy as you have described. You inspire me!

Thanks!! Trust me, mine was probably

a lot more positive and “easy” than a lot of others out there.

Who lost family or friends over it, or couldn’t find the money for surgeries or to even have the medical care.

So I would say I’m one of the lucky ones as I couldn’t have done it without my family and friends

Looking at the bright side right? X "

I'm so glad you had the support of friends and family. Thank you for taking the time to share your story.

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

Thank you for educating and enlightening. There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding and negative (sometimes bigoted) views, even by the Government, and very much the press, and a increasing trend to single out. Good luck with the rest of your journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always great to hear other peoples stories, so similar and so different at the same time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks Kylie.

I feel you've done more here for Trans people than anything I've personally seen so far.

For the general public to become aware and to begin to understand, there has to be understanding from all angles.

For you reaching out this way shows to me that you have that understanding, add to that your knowledge and experience, you can make a difference reaching out to those that don't and yet want to understand.

Much respect to you Kylie.

I'll say one thing that I disagree with though, raise your game, I mean Grealish for goodness sake

Thanks so much for saying that, I really was on the fence whether to do this or not. But I feel there’s been so much noise lately on the forum that I thought I’d try put my own experiences and see if people would maybe have a further understanding on what it’s like to be a woman of trans experience x

I try and stay out of it these days. Besides you generally make the relevant points anyway. What I do like is no matter how direct that comment may be your reply is never malicious. Good humour and patience is always the key to educate others in my opinion. "

Exactly, only through grace and sharing lived experiences, there can be education and people might listen.

Obviously some will never want to listen and that’s also okay. It’s not gonna shake who I am x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez, that was actually a lot harder read than I thought it would be. It's always easy to say be happy in being you but I genuinely couldn't fathom going on the same journey you did and how tough it must've been mentally and physically for you and handling the attitudes of those around you. The part about still mourning for the body you should've had really hit home. Thank you for sharing and I hope you're in a happier place now than you were

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Oh Kylie!

You're an incredible woman, you know that, don't you? Thank you for being so authentic and open. x

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By *ickedTemptationMan
over a year ago

Somewhere

Cracking post. Just be who you always want to be.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

What a raw, genuine and inspiring post! You are one hell of a woman, a smile brighter than the sun and with the warmth that goes with it. I find you incredibly engaging, open and honest!

A beautiful soul xx

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Kylie, you are bloody awesome. Thank you for sharing.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What a raw, genuine and inspiring post! You are one hell of a woman, a smile brighter than the sun and with the warmth that goes with it. I find you incredibly engaging, open and honest!

A beautiful soul xx"

Love you xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh Kylie!

You're an incredible woman, you know that, don't you? Thank you for being so authentic and open. x"

Meli, Ur making me wanna cry (of joy)

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Thank you for sharing your story (so far).

I think you've been very lucky with the support you have had from your family and friends. I really feel for the people who don't have that, must be heartbreaking.

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By *rishman75Man
over a year ago

Chessington/epsom

that was a good read and thanks .

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Thanks for sharing Kylie. This is really insightful and as parents we really appreciate this insight.

We’ve posted before that we are supporting one of our children through their non binary journey and it is a minefield. Even just with schooling and the bigotry that is ingrained into children when someone is different. All we can do is support, love and be positive that things will become easier and that things will get better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you for sharing your story (so far).

I think you've been very lucky with the support you have had from your family and friends. I really feel for the people who don't have that, must be heartbreaking. "

For sure, I realise that I’ve been lucky in my journey and my surgeries came from my dad’s funds so x

I really am a lucky girl on that regard x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for sharing Kylie. This is really insightful and as parents we really appreciate this insight.

We’ve posted before that we are supporting one of our children through their non binary journey and it is a minefield. Even just with schooling and the bigotry that is ingrained into children when someone is different. All we can do is support, love and be positive that things will become easier and that things will get better."

x

And that’s why I hope there will be more education and respect even from kids in the future

I was gonna do an illustrated book for kids with one of my illustrator friends, about it so maybe watch this space

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read it all xxx"
give over did you ekk

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Jeez, that was actually a lot harder read than I thought it would be. It's always easy to say be happy in being you but I genuinely couldn't fathom going on the same journey you did and how tough it must've been mentally and physically for you and handling the attitudes of those around you. The part about still mourning for the body you should've had really hit home. Thank you for sharing and I hope you're in a happier place now than you were "

It’s those experiences that I will never get to live, like bearing my own children and truly knowing how that feels. I think that’s the thing I mourn the most.

Definitely I can say I’m pretty serene in myself now x like I genuinely mean it

And I know there’s someone out there for me who will genuinely truly love me for the woman I am today and will be x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re fabulous OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a shame you don’t take personal messages from other TS people but I appreciate what your saying and I’m a little confused you refer to yourself as a woman when you’re a TV/TS i know it’s your choice, the TS that pass well in public can always identify as cis I know I’ll always be an obvious trans woman in public and I’ll always identify as TS x happy trans day x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s a shame you don’t take personal messages from other TS people but I appreciate what your saying and I’m a little confused you refer to yourself as a woman when you’re a TV/TS i know it’s your choice, the TS that pass well in public can always identify as cis I know I’ll always be an obvious trans woman in public and I’ll always identify as TS x happy trans day x "

I had to block because I was getting either very sexual messages from TS/TVS (more the latter) and also some abusive ones too so I decided to just block x

And personally, to me being trans is just a small part of who I am, like I treat is as a medical condition like having diabetes or whatever.

And on my day to day, I just live my life as a cis woman so that’s why.

Everyone is different, some see themselves trans first and have a very strong feeling towards that and that’s totally cool x

Hope it makes sense and happy trans day and just be you.

You are fab x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You’re fabulous OP "

Thanks my girl!! xxx

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

What a lovely and honest post!Happy trans day ..x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations for finding the strength and courage to be who you want to be.

It is a shit world we live in when even family of trans people can’t accept who their children have turned out to be and so difficult for trans people to have to make the choices they do just to be themselves.

Good luck , health and happiness to you . Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s a shame you don’t take personal messages from other TS people but I appreciate what your saying and I’m a little confused you refer to yourself as a woman when you’re a TV/TS i know it’s your choice, the TS that pass well in public can always identify as cis I know I’ll always be an obvious trans woman in public and I’ll always identify as TS x happy trans day x

I had to block because I was getting either very sexual messages from TS/TVS (more the latter) and also some abusive ones too so I decided to just block x

And personally, to me being trans is just a small part of who I am, like I treat is as a medical condition like having diabetes or whatever.

And on my day to day, I just live my life as a cis woman so that’s why.

Everyone is different, some see themselves trans first and have a very strong feeling towards that and that’s totally cool x

Hope it makes sense and happy trans day and just be you.

You are fab x"
I bet you pass well in public and can live covertly x you’re so lucky I need a sledge hammer on my face and I bet I still wouldn’t pass

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Congratulations for finding the strength and courage to be who you want to be.

It is a shit world we live in when even family of trans people can’t accept who their children have turned out to be and so difficult for trans people to have to make the choices they do just to be themselves.

Good luck , health and happiness to you . Xx"

Thanks

As I said I was very lucky so far, never really experience any transphobia and everyone was super supportive

So the only enemy undermining me was … myself. And my own gender dysphoria

But it isn’t like this for a lot of people of trans experience. Sadly. Lots still get rejected and murdered all around the world just because of that . X

Thanks for listening

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

What are your thoughts on the clear financial privileges when it comes to being trans

Being born into money is huge. Being able to afford all the treatments and surgeries. There’s basically a pay wall that most trans won’t ever he able to get through

How do you think your story would have gone if you didn’t get the financial privileges you were lucky to get? Do you think you could find happiness without the treatments?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are your thoughts on the clear financial privileges when it comes to being trans

Being born into money is huge. Being able to afford all the treatments and surgeries. There’s basically a pay wall that most trans won’t ever he able to get through

How do you think your story would have gone if you didn’t get the financial privileges you were lucky to get? Do you think you could find happiness without the treatments? "
agree the nhs GIC system is awful designed to break you down into there private clinics The government can waste billions and billions on useless PPE but can’t find the proper transgender healthcare system

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What are your thoughts on the clear financial privileges when it comes to being trans

Being born into money is huge. Being able to afford all the treatments and surgeries. There’s basically a pay wall that most trans won’t ever he able to get through

How do you think your story would have gone if you didn’t get the financial privileges you were lucky to get? Do you think you could find happiness without the treatments? "

I did say something about it on previous comments

I do realise that I definitely had the privilege of being able to get things done because of money from my dad and probably would have been a struggle without.

I think medically transitioning is still viable for most people, if they really want to (I’m talking hormones at least. Surgeries are the most expensive)

But I also recognise I had privilege on my genetics too. I can’t imagine how difficult I’d have found it if I was born to be 6’2” and I do sometimes think of how that would have affected me going forward.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"What are your thoughts on the clear financial privileges when it comes to being trans

Being born into money is huge. Being able to afford all the treatments and surgeries. There’s basically a pay wall that most trans won’t ever he able to get through

How do you think your story would have gone if you didn’t get the financial privileges you were lucky to get? Do you think you could find happiness without the treatments?

I did say something about it on previous comments

I do realise that I definitely had the privilege of being able to get things done because of money from my dad and probably would have been a struggle without.

I think medically transitioning is still viable for most people, if they really want to (I’m talking hormones at least. Surgeries are the most expensive)

But I also recognise I had privilege on my genetics too. I can’t imagine how difficult I’d have found it if I was born to be 6’2” and I do sometimes think of how that would have affected me going forward. "

Yeah I think that’s a fair view. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be wanting to transition being 6’2 with broad shoulders

It sucks how financially driven transitioning seems to be. The answer is either transition very young (which is a whole other can of worms) or hope you are born rich with the right genetics

I mean I’m 5’9 and sometimes I get upset about my height even though there’s nothing I can do, I can’t imagine what it’s like knowing my transition is behind a pay wall I can’t reach. And it gets even sadder when you realise how many probably turn to illicit mean of income (drugs, sex work etc) to try and beat that pay wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are amazing girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are your thoughts on the clear financial privileges when it comes to being trans

Being born into money is huge. Being able to afford all the treatments and surgeries. There’s basically a pay wall that most trans won’t ever he able to get through

How do you think your story would have gone if you didn’t get the financial privileges you were lucky to get? Do you think you could find happiness without the treatments?

I did say something about it on previous comments

I do realise that I definitely had the privilege of being able to get things done because of money from my dad and probably would have been a struggle without.

I think medically transitioning is still viable for most people, if they really want to (I’m talking hormones at least. Surgeries are the most expensive)

But I also recognise I had privilege on my genetics too. I can’t imagine how difficult I’d have found it if I was born to be 6’2” and I do sometimes think of how that would have affected me going forward.

Yeah I think that’s a fair view. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be wanting to transition being 6’2 with broad shoulders

It sucks how financially driven transitioning seems to be. The answer is either transition very young (which is a whole other can of worms) or hope you are born rich with the right genetics

I mean I’m 5’9 and sometimes I get upset about my height even though there’s nothing I can do, I can’t imagine what it’s like knowing my transition is behind a pay wall I can’t reach. And it gets even sadder when you realise how many probably turn to illicit mean of income (drugs, sex work etc) to try and beat that pay wall "
I am 6.’8 in my platform heels I can turn heads 100 yards away with my legs in a short skirt and I’m naturally 6 foot woman come in all shapes and sizes broad shoulders too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What are your thoughts on the clear financial privileges when it comes to being trans

Being born into money is huge. Being able to afford all the treatments and surgeries. There’s basically a pay wall that most trans won’t ever he able to get through

How do you think your story would have gone if you didn’t get the financial privileges you were lucky to get? Do you think you could find happiness without the treatments?

I did say something about it on previous comments

I do realise that I definitely had the privilege of being able to get things done because of money from my dad and probably would have been a struggle without.

I think medically transitioning is still viable for most people, if they really want to (I’m talking hormones at least. Surgeries are the most expensive)

But I also recognise I had privilege on my genetics too. I can’t imagine how difficult I’d have found it if I was born to be 6’2” and I do sometimes think of how that would have affected me going forward.

Yeah I think that’s a fair view. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be wanting to transition being 6’2 with broad shoulders

It sucks how financially driven transitioning seems to be. The answer is either transition very young (which is a whole other can of worms) or hope you are born rich with the right genetics

I mean I’m 5’9 and sometimes I get upset about my height even though there’s nothing I can do, I can’t imagine what it’s like knowing my transition is behind a pay wall I can’t reach. And it gets even sadder when you realise how many probably turn to illicit mean of income (drugs, sex work etc) to try and beat that pay wall "

Exactly, I have to say that transitioning before puberty is probably the thing that will then require less “correction” because testosterone won’t “spoil” that person’s body. And potentially the only surgery to do would be sex reassignment surgery. Which is major!

I haven’t had facial feminisation surgery but that is pretty brutal because the surgeon has to shave bone off face to make the face look more “cis” and feminine

Yes, unfortunately a lot end up going to that route, and turn to illegal mean of income. Or even dodgy surgeries.

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe


"Wasn’t sure whether to post this as I kinda prefer to lay low but as it’s trans awareness day, I just thought I’d share a little something from my own personal experience of what it’s like to be trans, because let’s be real. A lot of people don’t really know what it is like for people like me.

So here it goes:

What is it really like to be trans?!? You might wonder…

To be trans is not understanding yourself for years, why you don’t feel at home in your own body. With parts that you feel don’t belong to you and wish were never there in the first place. Wishing you were born “right”.

It’s like feeling forever lost and wishing things were different, you self loathe for ages and that can’t be happening to you, can it?

Your mind will play tricks on you and you start to believe that nobody will EVER want you or truly love you, and that even your own mother and father will drop you just for being yourself.

All this, till someday… at some point in time, something switches. And you find the strength to choose yourself. And not in a selfish kind of way, but In a self love kind of way. It’s that piece of the puzzle that finally sets in you and it all suddenly starts to

make sense.

Sense on why you felt extremely awkward as a kid when you just wished the thing in between your legs would fall off, or why you felt so awkward with boys in their spaces, or why you desperately wished you were one of the girls and couldn’t understand why you weren’t one of them.

To be trans, is to be strong and confident. Because you get

Reminded a lot that you are not like the others, but the reality is that you are just like any other, made of flesh with feelings and insecurities. And dreams!

Being trans is a lot of things, but it isn’t a choice and it isn’t a trend.

The journey to transition is hard.

it takes time, dedication, luck … money. It takes patience, but once you found the strength to do your first steps, it gets easier.

Even during the painful and scary moments, after surgeries or when getting zapped in parts that just hurt like hell. Even when you feel defeated. You know it’s all done in order to be what you were supposed to be born in the first place. To feel truly

at home and at peace within yourself.

Because those steps, whether big or small. Become thousands and ten of thousands, and in that journey, that at some point you felt

was like climbing Mount Everest, you will look back and see that you made what you thought impossible, possible.

I may have not been blessed with the body I should have been born with, as a biological female (and I’m not talking about how pretty or not I look. I’m talking about that biological female body I crave and the experiences I will forever miss as a woman - like giving birth).

And to this day, I sometime still wish and morn for it, because let’s be honest. it’d have been easier*. But there’s no point in wishing. Is there?

One thing I’m sure of, is that I’m very proud of how far I’ve come , and all the people in my life have seen how much joy I radiate now and that, makes me feel so lucky to have had the best support system a girl like me, could EVER have wished for!

and even tho there’s a lot of noise at the moment surrounding trans issues, with bad people in the LGBT community shining bad light on trans, going round the wrong way, (I wish I had the answers in how to deal with some of those concerns but I don’t)

I hope that my own story shed some light on some issues, and showed how much of a normal tranquil life, women and men of trans experience want.

Just like you.

Ps: If you read it all, thanks so much !

*notation: when I said easier, I meant, in my self assurance in being at home in my body without having to deal with everything in order to be my true self.

I am in no way implying that being a woman is easier.

Women go through a hella lot of shit. And you girls are amazing! X"

Your amazing too kylie thanks for sharing your story. Im lucky to have a transmale partner and met many transwomen and men over time even where i work. Your all amazing loving people its an honour to know you all. Happy day to you all girls and guys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You and many like yourself, have endured incredible life journeys. You have every right to be proud of yourself, who you are and what you've fought so hard to become. They're are stories to be celebrated, listened to and learn from. The way you describe not fitting in, not belonging and why is my mind/body like this, resonates heavily with me strangely enough. I know why I have those thoughts now, so I can grow in the direction I want to, thankfully. I just thought i'd post this because despite all the differences between the fellow fabbers, if we chose to talk, listen and try to understand, we can find common ground with almost anyone.

I wish you well on your continuing journey Kylie, you strike me as a wonderful human being.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You and many like yourself, have endured incredible life journeys. You have every right to be proud of yourself, who you are and what you've fought so hard to become. They're are stories to be celebrated, listened to and learn from. The way you describe not fitting in, not belonging and why is my mind/body like this, resonates heavily with me strangely enough. I know why I have those thoughts now, so I can grow in the direction I want to, thankfully. I just thought i'd post this because despite all the differences between the fellow fabbers, if we chose to talk, listen and try to understand, we can find common ground with almost anyone.

I wish you well on your continuing journey Kylie, you strike me as a wonderful human being. "

I am so glad that my thoughts resonated with you. My mission is accomplished

I may not be able to really let y’all know how it feels to be in my shoes and my mind but It makes me happy that my words maybe got through to some of you xx

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Thankyou for telling your story in such an open and honest fashion. It's definitely given me a better insight into the emotional side of being trans and I was very moved by your words.

You are an inspirational woman and I wish you much joy in your new life.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Thanks for sharing Kylie, it's always a delight to read about other people's journeys.

Dysphoria is really difficult to articulate to people who aren't familiar with it. It's a very disconcerting sensation particularly before you've come to terms with and recognised being trans. Growing up I had no awareness of trans people and had nothing to relate to as to why I didn't feel comfortable on my own skin, and found adolescence unbearable at an all boys school. Knowing I didn't belong but not really understanding why, desperately trying for acceptance and never quite fitting in.

It was only when I went to uni that I started exploring identity more and felt free to do so, I played in bands and started expressing myself through clothes and makeup more which you could get away with on the rock scene (although I still ended up wearing several pints and got bottled on one occasion).

After uni came a long period of trying to conform, and do the things people expected me to do. Suffice to say this was the most challenging and uncomfortable period of my life characterised by stress and self sabotage, alcoholism, a string of failed relationships and jobs, and ultimately suicide attempts and stints in psychiatric hospitals.

I'm now out, sober, and the most stable mentally and in terms of contentment I've ever been, and that's largely the result of accepting who I am which was facilitated by moving more into queer spaces and gaining strength from the experience of others.

And while I've got a long way to go, for the the first period in my life I can bear to have a mirror in my flat.

That's why days like today are so important, because visibility is empowering for people who are questioning their identity.

I've just finished training as a peer mentor within the LGBT community and i'm looking forward to helping people and hopefully making people's journeys just a little bit smoother.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for sharing Kylie, it's always a delight to read about other people's journeys.

Dysphoria is really difficult to articulate to people who aren't familiar with it. It's a very disconcerting sensation particularly before you've come to terms with and recognised being trans. Growing up I had no awareness of trans people and had nothing to relate to as to why I didn't feel comfortable on my own skin, and found adolescence unbearable at an all boys school. Knowing I didn't belong but not really understanding why, desperately trying for acceptance and never quite fitting in.

It was only when I went to uni that I started exploring identity more and felt free to do so, I played in bands and started expressing myself through clothes and makeup more which you could get away with on the rock scene (although I still ended up wearing several pints and got bottled on one occasion).

After uni came a long period of trying to conform, and do the things people expected me to do. Suffice to say this was the most challenging and uncomfortable period of my life characterised by stress and self sabotage, alcoholism, a string of failed relationships and jobs, and ultimately suicide attempts and stints in psychiatric hospitals.

I'm now out, sober, and the most stable mentally and in terms of contentment I've ever been, and that's largely the result of accepting who I am which was facilitated by moving more into queer spaces and gaining strength from the experience of others.

And while I've got a long way to go, for the the first period in my life I can bear to have a mirror in my flat.

That's why days like today are so important, because visibility is empowering for people who are questioning their identity.

I've just finished training as a peer mentor within the LGBT community and i'm looking forward to helping people and hopefully making people's journeys just a little bit smoother.

"

So good to read about part of your own journey and how some parts we can relate with what we went through and those things that are just hard to Explain.

So happy that you found serenity in yourself!! That’s the most important part x

Hoping all the best on your own wonderful journey x

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

You're an amazing advocate, and teach us all something new, all the time! Big love to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You're an amazing advocate, and teach us all something new, all the time! Big love to you "

Thanks lovely x

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Lots of love to you Kylie!

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Great post, thank you for sharing!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great post, thank you for sharing! "

Hope I added something positive today as I think the night ended negatively on a topic elsewhere

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Great post, thank you for sharing!

Hope I added something positive today as I think the night ended negatively on a topic elsewhere "

As always

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Great post, thank you for sharing!

Hope I added something positive today as I think the night ended negatively on a topic elsewhere "

I read it all and it's always helpful to get a better insight. Apart from the zapping in places that really hurt, I have images

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great post, thank you for sharing!

Hope I added something positive today as I think the night ended negatively on a topic elsewhere "

That's a reflection on that particular individual, nobody else.

I'm really surprised this thread hasn't already met its capacity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great post, thank you for sharing!

Hope I added something positive today as I think the night ended negatively on a topic elsewhere "

Some are better ambassadors for our varied T-whoever community than others.

And you are definitely one of the good uns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A brilliant, inspirational post Kylie.Thank you for voicing so eloquently what many others struggle to put across

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great post, thank you for sharing!

Hope I added something positive today as I think the night ended negatively on a topic elsewhere

That's a reflection on that particular individual, nobody else.

I'm really surprised this thread hasn't already met its capacity. "

Probably too long to read x haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a great post. So honest of you and hopefully it will make narrow minded people think a little.

Live the life as the real you....one of my mottos in life

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.

You’re amazing lovely

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

What a great post. So honest of you and hopefully it will make narrow minded people think a little.

Live the life as the real you....one of my mottos in life "

We are only here once, and the “maybe in the next life I’ll be reborn in the right body” didn’t sit well with me anymore x

Thanks lovely

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

This has actually made me feel a bit emotional- you expressed your story so well...thank you for sharing this xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This has actually made me feel a bit emotional- you expressed your story so well...thank you for sharing this xx"

I’m so glad that it struck a chord in you and that you felt what I tried to put down into words xx

Thanks for taking the time to read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You made what you thought impossible, possible." Love that.

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