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Is it a criminal offence...

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? "

How about I just come over and fart in their face??

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

How about I just come over and fart in their face?? "
No i have a wooden fence would wanna risk a major fire with a naked flame about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? "

R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

nah .. thats making him a custodial of it ... if u light it it may be different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, but it's only relevant that it's not legal if you get caught.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats fine to do then if cops call just say he said to u i just want to bang her say u got confused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't the police would have to look into it

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol "
No just the forum as its about my inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? "

Your post had cheered me up no end

Was having a tearful moment, now can't stop laughing

If you get away with it can you come and sort my neighbour too please?

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

Your post had cheered me up no end

Was having a tearful moment, now can't stop laughing

If you get away with it can you come and sort my neighbour too please? "
Glad it cheered you up....and yes why not , if i can getway with it.

Fucking twat is still letting em off, my puppy is scared stiff and crying under the table and wont come out, but i am smiling as i write as now the wife is kicking off and they having a domestic.....KARMA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol No just the forum as its about my inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour "

You could broach the subject and enquire if they have any objections to you placing a catherine wheel on his or her head.. Now that would at least make you smile inside

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol No just the forum as its about my inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour

You could broach the subject and enquire if they have any objections to you placing a catherine wheel on his or her head.. Now that would at least make you smile inside "
Think i may have too much fun putting a nail in his head to hang said Catherine Wheel on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

Your post had cheered me up no end

Was having a tearful moment, now can't stop laughing

If you get away with it can you come and sort my neighbour too please? Glad it cheered you up....and yes why not , if i can getway with it.

Fucking twat is still letting em off, my puppy is scared stiff and crying under the table and wont come out, but i am smiling as i write as now the wife is kicking off and they having a domestic.....KARMA "

This is why the bloomin things should only be made legal at properly organised displays.

They suddenly started 3 days ago here during the day.

Our poor 2 didn't know whether to run or hide.... in the end one of them just stood there and shook

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Poor pup. Try some music and a safe space. Ours keeps running to the window and barking when he hears one, but then they are not that close.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up "

Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up

Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot."
Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up

Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok."

Poor wee pup, literally frightened fartless.

leave an anonymous note through their door thanking him for the good rodgering he gave you while his Mrs was at work and when can he do it to you again big boy?

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Awww poor puppy! Hate bastard fireworks for these reasons! Should only allow them for one night a year (at the most). Drives me mad!

Going to be a nightmare with my princess this year, as her ears have just been treated (again) so she can hear a pin drop.

I think you'd be ok shoving a firework up their arses, they may not even realise

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up

Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok.

Poor wee pup, literally frightened fartless.

leave an anonymous note through their door thanking him for the good rodgering he gave you while his Mrs was at work and when can he do it to you again big boy? "
Nice one but i would hate to even imagine that scenario....

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Not heard one firework yet...long may the peace continue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up

Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok.

Poor wee pup, literally frightened fartless.

leave an anonymous note through their door thanking him for the good rodgering he gave you while his Mrs was at work and when can he do it to you again big boy? Nice one but i would hate to even imagine that scenario.... "

His Mrs would give him a good hiding and put him on short rations till 2013 though.

One of my dogs still jumps up onto the nearest lap and buries her head into your armpit when fireworks go off.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It will be a long one this year - Diwali is 13th to 17th November.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I have never been a fan of fireworks but the city centre outskirts are alreay full of short lease shops selling em to kids....grrrrrrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have never been a fan of fireworks but the city centre outskirts are alreay full of short lease shops selling em to kids....grrrrrrrrrrrr "

Bastards, kids can be injured with them ffs!

My dad was a fireman and hated that time of year, they used to get stoned by kids and adults, if they went round putting out non-organised bonfires and fireworks displays that were classed as dangerous or out of control.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

no but im not sure if you can light it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol No just the forum as its about my inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour "

was being facetious and hoping to make u smile with a hint of Long_Arm being involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe this qualifies as sexual assault.

However, if you light the firework, you may graduate to grievous bodily harm.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol No just the forum as its about my inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour

was being facetious and hoping to make u smile with a hint of Long_Arm being involved "
I was too pissed off to smile at that point.

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By *ukkakecoupleukCouple
over a year ago

horsham

if you do stand well back

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I have never been a fan of fireworks but the city centre outskirts are alreay full of short lease shops selling em to kids....grrrrrrrrrrrr

Bastards, kids can be injured with them ffs!

My dad was a fireman and hated that time of year, they used to get stoned by kids and adults, if they went round putting out non-organised bonfires and fireworks displays that were classed as dangerous or out of control."
Kids seem to just use them as a way to up their anti social behaviour.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc


"if you do stand well back "

And wear pink mittens. Also, dont go back to check it has been lit

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"if you do stand well back

And wear pink mittens. Also, dont go back to check it has been lit "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"no but im not sure if you can light it"

Oh I am confident she is able to light it - whether its legal is a different matter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get your own back .... stick your dogs turds in a paper bag, put it on his doorstep,set light to it, ring his bell then run away ... not so far away though that you can't see him stamping on it in his slippers to put the flames out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? "
Only if you light it, but then, what a great show x

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? Only if you light it, but then, what a great show x"
yes all that arsehair and shit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up

Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok."

Poor puppy

Fireworks should be allowed at organised events only, and events should be limited and well publicised, to allow people the best chance of ensuring their pets are safe and not frightened.

Fireworks going off randomly, frequently, at any time, on any day between October and January is totally unacceptable.

There haven't been any around this area yet but there will, and they always upset my cats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was only pondering on the lack of banging (from fireworks) as I locked my car to start my night shift. Then a rocket went off. Ohhh, the irony. Hate them.

As regards your neighbour, I'm sure if you secure said lit firework to his person with the aid of a 6" nail, his immediate thoughts wont be to call the police. Be sure to film it and claim 250 spondies from Harry Hill. Should cover the cost of air freshener to remove the lingering aroma of nervous puppy...

See? Practical advice. I amaze myself sometimes, I really do....

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I was only pondering on the lack of banging (from fireworks) as I locked my car to start my night shift. Then a rocket went off. Ohhh, the irony. Hate them.

As regards your neighbour, I'm sure if you secure said lit firework to his person with the aid of a 6" nail, his immediate thoughts wont be to call the police. Be sure to film it and claim 250 spondies from Harry Hill. Should cover the cost of air freshener to remove the lingering aroma of nervous puppy...

See? Practical advice. I amaze myself sometimes, I really do.... "
Well thank you for the advice, i suspect his missus has debollocked him by now , its gone verrrry quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...

Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy...

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...

Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy... "
I still prefer the the firework idea....i know im bad

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...

Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy... "

Muffocated - love it! I'll have to find a way of slipping that into conversation tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...

Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy... I still prefer the the firework idea....i know im bad "

Only bad if you get caught. And can't plausably deny it. Without bursting into spluttery laffter immediately afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? "

I'm sure it is a criminal offence but then they'd have to retrieve him from the moon to prove it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...

Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy...

Muffocated - love it! I'll have to find a way of slipping that into conversation tomorrow."

One of my fave words at the mo - it says so much in so few syllables, kind of like the Anti-Prescott.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?

I'm sure it is a criminal offence but then they'd have to retrieve him from the moon to prove it. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not heard one firework yet...long may the peace continue. "

BOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! oopsss sorry didnt mean to scare you,hope you were fast asleep wen the firework went off

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By *helmercpleCouple
over a year ago

Chelmsford

This might sound a bit weird but it really calms dogs down when they get scared by fireworks. Wear an old t-shirt (next to skin) for the day and in the evening put it on the dog. Your scent and its closeness to their bodies will have a real calming effect on them. Told to me by a dog trainer mate and it has always worked on our dogs x

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"This might sound a bit weird but it really calms dogs down when they get scared by fireworks. Wear an old t-shirt (next to skin) for the day and in the evening put it on the dog. Your scent and its closeness to their bodies will have a real calming effect on them. Told to me by a dog trainer mate and it has always worked on our dogs x"
thank you, i had thought of that, my pup has claimed an old cardi of mine tonight so he thought of it too!

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows

If its anything like my next door neighbour make sure its 3 Airbomb repeaters fastend together with gaffer tape

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

Saw an advert on the telly for a plug in air fresher that's supposed to calm pets down!

Speak to your vet or pet store

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

Never mind the firework up his arse - a lit sparkler inserted in his bell-end might do the trick better. You can just say he was holding it wrong!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Never mind the firework up his arse - a lit sparkler inserted in his bell-end might do the trick better. You can just say he was holding it wrong!

"

Love it! Decorative soundings!

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

no ill help you return the favour

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