FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

How do you discuss limits?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Before a meet, we tend to use bdsm-limits.com as a way to start discussions about limits and consent. It's a bit over the top but we find it reveals kinks we all share and it helps us quickly rule out hard limits people don't remember off the top of their heads.

Not everyone will be as nerdy as us, but does anyone else do this? Maybe with a different site? Any other approaches that work well for you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

It’s always something I ask during chat before a meet is confirmed. A simple question of “Do you have any hard limits?”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I just tell them the things I really don't enjoy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I just tell them the things I really don't enjoy "

Sounds good. And no always mean, fucking no!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You might want to edit your post OP as you aren't meant to mention or link to other sites that arent on the safe list.

As for discussing limits, we don’t use a site.

We have used check lists in the past, but tend to find a discussion works best.

We discuss what they want to experience, and then we try and keep to that.

We aren’t going to do suprise buttseks if the person has only mentioned that they want a paddling.

We also don’t play hard with people on a first meet as its too risky.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I don't discuss limits as it's easier to just get on with having fun and see where it goes. If something comes up that I don't enjoy then I am very good at redirecting the flow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just ask whilst we are talking what don’t you like anything you won’t do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Using Clear Concise Communication at all times

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never come across this before but looks like a good idea tbh thanks OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

UK

discuss by text messaging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

I just say what I don’t like. That’s it. The list is short.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would probably depend on the dynamic we are seeking. Either which way, always a safe word, even if it's more vanilla dynamic.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I always discuss boundaries and preferences before meeting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I just say what I don’t like. That’s it. The list is short."

To the point x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just play 2 unlimited.

Gets the message across.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I just play 2 unlimited.

Gets the message across. "

Niche

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

Discuss boundaries and a safe word if it gets too extreme

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say, “see those fingers, that dildo and your tongue… keep them away from my arse and we’ll be good”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urga2076Woman
over a year ago

London

As a woman playing single I urge all women to be as detailed as you can get upfront if you want to ensure your own pleasure is met. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Discuss boundaries and a safe word if it gets too extreme "

Make sure your safe word is “fuck me”.

Trust me….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I say, “see those fingers, that dildo and your tongue… keep them away from my arse and we’ll be good” "

Succinct. I'm stealing that. Ta!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"Before a meet, we tend to use bdsm-limits.com as a way to start discussions about limits and consent. It's a bit over the top but we find it reveals kinks we all share and it helps us quickly rule out hard limits people don't remember off the top of their heads.

Not everyone will be as nerdy as us, but does anyone else do this? Maybe with a different site? Any other approaches that work well for you?"

I'm going to get you guys Cards Against Humanity: BDSM Edition for your birthday.

Few hours of that and boundaries will be clearly marked, safe words/codes/signals will be memorised AND it's just fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say, “see those fingers, that dildo and your tongue… keep them away from my arse and we’ll be good”

Succinct. I'm stealing that. Ta! "

Might get that tattooed on my backside

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I say, “see those fingers, that dildo and your tongue… keep them away from my arse and we’ll be good”

Succinct. I'm stealing that. Ta!

Might get that tattooed on my backside "

No entry sign?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say, “see those fingers, that dildo and your tongue… keep them away from my arse and we’ll be good”

Succinct. I'm stealing that. Ta!

Might get that tattooed on my backside

No entry sign? "

That would probably be a cheaper tattoo.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I say, “see those fingers, that dildo and your tongue… keep them away from my arse and we’ll be good”

Succinct. I'm stealing that. Ta!

Might get that tattooed on my backside

No entry sign?

That would probably be a cheaper tattoo."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've never come across this before but looks like a good idea tbh thanks OP"

It's really good for promoting discussion pre-meet - e.g. "oh yeh, I like face-fucking but not deep-throating" or "actually I don't really enjoy people going down on me, but it's not a limit".

Doesn't replace discussion, of course - but it can enhance it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm going to get you guys Cards Against Humanity: BDSM Edition for your birthday.

Few hours of that and boundaries will be clearly marked, safe words/codes/signals will be memorised AND it's just fun "

..does that really exist? That would be awesome

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"I'm going to get you guys Cards Against Humanity: BDSM Edition for your birthday.

Few hours of that and boundaries will be clearly marked, safe words/codes/signals will be memorised AND it's just fun

..does that really exist? That would be awesome "

...upon further research and GoogleBoogling, I have discovered that I, in fact, dreamed it one time.

Let's patent it. Consent Against Humanity. Nerds need defined lines too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I'm very open about what I'm looking for and what I don't like.

If a guy then strays into my dislikes I am quite clear that I don't want to do whatever it is he's doing.

I don't have a formal list or site I use, but I do like a good bit of chat before I meet so I've never needed more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm going to get you guys Cards Against Humanity: BDSM Edition for your birthday.

Few hours of that and boundaries will be clearly marked, safe words/codes/signals will be memorised AND it's just fun

..does that really exist? That would be awesome

...upon further research and GoogleBoogling, I have discovered that I, in fact, dreamed it one time.

Let's patent it. Consent Against Humanity. Nerds need defined lines too. "

Seems like an excellent ice-breaker for a kinky camping weekend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top