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A mothers day question

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Guess this is gonna be a bit weird to spell out loud but wanted an opinion.

As everyone knows the situation for me is complicated.

I got my actual mother a dvd a while back for it and ordered something for my stepmum as well that didn’t show up.

So I’m going to pick up my stepmum some flowers for mothers day as a joint present with my half-sibling

Problem is of course that flowers are more traditional of course so worried my mums family may get offended by the gesture but my half-sibling really wants to make our stepmum happy.

Anyone stuck in a similar situation or have any thoughts?

Should I abandon the flowers or not?

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

Flowers are generally more traditional and likely more personal than a dvd … however it depends on the thought that goes into the gift.

Someone may love a dvd as much as the other would dislike flowers - it’s always best you buy what they like … I think you’re more likely to be on sticky ground if the missing gift arrives and she gets that AND the flower - so 2 presents not just the one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Flowers are generally more traditional and likely more personal than a dvd … however it depends on the thought that goes into the gift.

Someone may love a dvd as much as the other would dislike flowers - it’s always best you buy what they like … I think you’re more likely to be on sticky ground if the missing gift arrives and she gets that AND the flower - so 2 presents not just the one."

Thanks for the advice,If the missing gift shows up I’ll have to work something out.

I know she’ll like them its just my mums family I’m worried about they’re pretty traditional shall we say my mum will be absolutely fine with it.

Just don’t want to make things weirder than they already are.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Families get weird about stuff, if you worry about it it will get worse and you'll find yourself questioning every gift you buy or occasion you attend. Do what you believe to be right, if other people don't like it they need to deal with that themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what is right for you and you and your Mummas

Sound like your family will criticise whatever you do so stuff 'em

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Don't over think it.

Get flowers and whatever you think is right.

If they have a problem then it's their problem not yours.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

How about get them both flowers for the day, tell stepmum she has another surprise coming and chase up the missing gift with the company?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Honestly, it's a gimmick day, just like valentines day and fathers day. If you overthink it, it's going to be more hassle than it's worth. The more simple yet personal the better. That's the whole point.

It is all about the gesture, if anyone (especially those not the person receiving the gift) gets hurt over present x or present y they really need to revaluate their priorities.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Honestly, it's a gimmick day, just like valentines day and fathers day. If you overthink it, it's going to be more hassle than it's worth. The more simple yet personal the better. That's the whole point.

It is all about the gesture, if anyone (especially those not the person receiving the gift) gets hurt over present x or present y they really need to revaluate their priorities. "

I get your point but for some of us mother's day brings a lot of heartache as you're trying to get it right to avoid the drama. Sometimes you'll be on a winning streak and think you've cracked it only to misjudge it the next year and end up right back where you started.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly, it's a gimmick day, just like valentines day and fathers day. If you overthink it, it's going to be more hassle than it's worth. The more simple yet personal the better. That's the whole point.

It is all about the gesture, if anyone (especially those not the person receiving the gift) gets hurt over present x or present y they really need to revaluate their priorities.

I get your point but for some of us mother's day brings a lot of heartache as you're trying to get it right to avoid the drama. Sometimes you'll be on a winning streak and think you've cracked it only to misjudge it the next year and end up right back where you started. "

You beat me to it as I was just about to say that Mother's Day carries a lot of emotions for many and is not just a gimmick day.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Honestly, it's a gimmick day, just like valentines day and fathers day. If you overthink it, it's going to be more hassle than it's worth. The more simple yet personal the better. That's the whole point.

It is all about the gesture, if anyone (especially those not the person receiving the gift) gets hurt over present x or present y they really need to revaluate their priorities.

I get your point but for some of us mother's day brings a lot of heartache as you're trying to get it right to avoid the drama. Sometimes you'll be on a winning streak and think you've cracked it only to misjudge it the next year and end up right back where you started. "

Surely all the more reason to keep it to simple gestures and token gifts. Otherwise you then end up having to one up yourself the next year, "compete" with siblings, or for step parents struggling to keep the gifts equal.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Honestly, it's a gimmick day, just like valentines day and fathers day. If you overthink it, it's going to be more hassle than it's worth. The more simple yet personal the better. That's the whole point.

It is all about the gesture, if anyone (especially those not the person receiving the gift) gets hurt over present x or present y they really need to revaluate their priorities.

I get your point but for some of us mother's day brings a lot of heartache as you're trying to get it right to avoid the drama. Sometimes you'll be on a winning streak and think you've cracked it only to misjudge it the next year and end up right back where you started.

Surely all the more reason to keep it to simple gestures and token gifts. Otherwise you then end up having to one up yourself the next year, "compete" with siblings, or for step parents struggling to keep the gifts equal. "

Maybe if you want a fight every year.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Why not get a plant pot, a small watering can and flower seeds? I've actually done just that as Mum is a keen gardener.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Buy your mum flowers too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice everyone it really helped me come to a decision about what to do.

My ramblings continue on Fathers day!!

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Personally, although flowers are lovely, I buy them when I don't know what else to get.

I prefer to get a gift for my mum that's something to keep and hardly ever get her flowers.

I used to often buy my step mum flowers because it was an easy option and I didn't know what else to get her.

Katie

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