FabSwingers.com forum: I got issues , you got them too

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, just wanted to open a thread about issues and wondering if talking about them, and maybe discussing them with people who might have similar , is a way of dealing with them and create a healthy discussion?

Whether it’s to do with anger issues, jealousy, or body confidence … Id like to hear from you

So, I’ll start with mine.

Hi, I’m Kylie and ….I have really bad daddy issues, I joked about them sometimes on the forum, but jokes aside … I started recognising this and even tho my dad was present physically, and gave me what I wanted when it came to things (I was a bit spoilt), he wasn’t totally present and involved as a dad emotionally.

I’ve got told that that, would probably answer to my hyper sexuality from a very young age, and why I seek a lot of validation from men. Also I always thought that it meant going for a dad type (so older) when in fact, it can be men in general.

Trying to work on this in being better at seeking my own validation and not saying yes just because they give me the right amount of attention. (Tho I admit it’s difficult for me)

Another one is obviously being concious about parts of my body, due to dysphoria, my brains reads them as “too masculine” Example, my shoulders or my arms not being small or thin enough.

I really work hard on this, and am getting better as I realise that it’s a lot to do with my Brain playing tricks and people don’t see what my brain is telling me.

But anyway, over to you. Love to hear yours and how you are working on them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do pics look different to looking in the mirror? I have a friend with body issues and she finds comparing pics of her standing next to other people helps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer terribly with my superiority complex.

I am absolutely fucking awesome at almost everything I turn my hand to.

Failure is a vague notion that I hear other people talk about but I’ve no idea what the word means.

Power and wealth come naturally to me but I should probably work a little on my self confidence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do pics look different to looking in the mirror? I have a friend with body issues and she finds comparing pics of her standing next to other people helps.

Yes that usually helps loads x and I sort of put things back to perspective.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had issues for a while about how I look, was I being sidelined as always had the same look, short hair/goatee, rough with various scars, non pretty hands, busted teeth but slowly worked on it, in process of getting teeth sorted and decided actually the greying suits the short hair, the business world no longer looks down on me as others in my field are looking the same and some women have a want for the older dad type look

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust issues hate myself look ugly

All stems from a past controlling relationship

That broke me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

I have a huge amount of issues with self confidence. I never see myself as being good enough, and some of the things my internal voice says are truly horrific, and admitting them to my therapist was one of the hardest things I have ever done!

This is something that I have been working on for a while, and it very much is linked to being a people pleaser and feeling like I need others to be happy before I am allowed to feel that way (again based around an emotionally unavailable father). Being able to recognise the negative thought patterns is definitely a step in the right direction and maybe one day I will be able to combat them when they arise, rather than days after I have them!

MJ x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Great thread OP though I'd be here all day listing mine.

Main one though for me is trust due to previous events in my past x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a huge amount of issues with self confidence. I never see myself as being good enough, and some of the things my internal voice says are truly horrific, and admitting them to my therapist was one of the hardest things I have ever done!

MJ x"

I agree that being able to recognise the thought pattern really helps cos you know it’s your mind doing it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have small t CPTSD, largely stemming from parents who, despite great intentions, probably had their own history of small t trauma.

That's led me to a few unhealthy issues in adult, Inc people pleasing (especially at work where I can use work to avoid feelings).

Breaking the cycle now.

All about the boundaries and being confidence to be me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got so many issues people call me Magazine.

Abusive upbringing so my red lines for abusive behaviour are far behind where they should be. I’ll take a lot before I finally react. Small build, can be intimidating in a man’s world and as I don’t see transition as being my part so don’t belong in a woman’s world either.

Bobbing around like a cork in the sea. Some days a shore some days it’s wide empty ocean.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"So, just wanted to open a thread about issues and wondering if talking about them, and maybe discussing them with people who might have similar , is a way of dealing with them and create a healthy discussion?

Whether it’s to do with anger issues, jealousy, or body confidence … Id like to hear from you

So, I’ll start with mine.

Trying to work on this in being better at seeking my own validation and not saying yes just because they give me the right amount of attention. (Tho I admit it’s difficult for me)

Another one is obviously being concious about parts of my body, due to dysphoria, my brains reads them as “too masculine” Example, my shoulders or my arms not being small or thin enough.

I really work hard on this, and am getting better as I realise that it’s a lot to do with my Brain playing tricks and people don’t see what my brain is telling me.

But anyway, over to you. Love to hear yours and how you are working on them.

Kylie just wanted to say you really are so feminine! Your shape, your physique, your stance, everything! If we didn’t know we wouldn’t know! I’m so glad you’re getting over these issues though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have trust issues, a huge fear of commitment, a fear of rejection and massive issues with my appearance. I’m never happy with the way I look and this is getting worse as I get older.

I’m lucky that I have beautiful friends around me and I’m a happy person in every other way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread