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All things gerbil

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

In honour of the newcomer to the site, I thought we can start a thread about gerbils. Share facts, ask questions, that sort of thing. Apparently gerbils are their happiest in same-sex pairs or small groups. Off you go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Richard Geers favourite rodent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gerry has done well, his first day on the forum, and already a thread just for him!

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Gerry has done well, his first day on the forum, and already a thread just for him!

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/22 17:00:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gerbils are illegal in California. Smoke as many joints as you want but don’t dare keep a pet gerbil

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Gerbils are illegal in California. Smoke as many joints as you want but don’t dare keep a pet gerbil "

I wonder why. We might have to ask Gerry about that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The word Gerbil is a portmanteau of the words "Gertrude" and "Billious", because the furry critters which were invented by Gertrude Cooper (after successfully breeding a hamster with a capybara) made her feel sick. It was later discovered that she was allergic to their skin which is highly poisonous in concentrated doses. The first Gerbil was called "Alan" after Gertrude's live-in lover, who also has the minor claim to fame of being the first person to kill a gerbil when he accidentally sat on it, trapping it up his rectum where it suffocated. Alan was later found floating face down in a sheep dip, covered in tiny lacerations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'M WATCHING YOU GERRY.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is amazing!! Thank you so much for this!! If I have achieved anything today it’s that people spare a thought for one of life’s most neglected rodents, god bless you all, I see another classic Donis, I can see us chuckling some nights away, you cheeky funion

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"The word Gerbil is a portmanteau of the words "Gertrude" and "Billious", because the furry critters which were invented by Gertrude Cooper (after successfully breeding a hamster with a capybara) made her feel sick. It was later discovered that she was allergic to their skin which is highly poisonous in concentrated doses. The first Gerbil was called "Alan" after Gertrude's live-in lover, who also has the minor claim to fame of being the first person to kill a gerbil when he accidentally sat on it, trapping it up his rectum where it suffocated. Alan was later found floating face down in a sheep dip, covered in tiny lacerations."

The plot thickens

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By *entleman JackMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

Noooooooo! Not gerbils.........

Rats are the way to go!

Fantastic pets! Highly intelligent, super-friendly, affectionate and quite adorable!

And squeaky clean, and duodernal, awake during the daytime!

Come in all sorts of colours, my all time favourite was an apricot male, called Gutter, and live longer than Gerbils too!

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


" Alan was later found floating face down in a sheep dip, covered in tiny lacerations."

Which Alan? Not the gerbil I assume.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Gerry...why gerbils and not hamsters,rats,mice etc ?

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Noooooooo! Not gerbils.........

Rats are the way to go!

Fantastic pets! Highly intelligent, super-friendly, affectionate and quite adorable!

And squeaky clean, and duodernal, awake during the daytime!

Come in all sorts of colours, my all time favourite was an apricot male, called Gutter, and live longer than Gerbils too! "

Is that so? You obviously adore them. Mind you, as a total ignoramus on this one, I read that rats live around 2 years and gerbils 3 to 4. But as Socrates said, I know nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gerry...why gerbils and not hamsters,rats,mice etc ?"

You can't help whi you fall in live with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also keep rats jack, I keep all rodents except hamsters, please see my introductory thread for the reason if you wish, I wouldn’t wish bad on anything or anyone and of course you heart will choose whatever it desires but please don’t add sunglasses at the short lifespan of a gerbil, I have broken my heart all too often at the funerals of my beloved critters and the sunglasses are a constant reminder of my darkest days when I have hidden behind them, thank you for taking the time to read and god bless you and I wish you well with your rats, if you need any advice do me afraid to chirp, hahah little gerbil banter there, because of their chirps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dirty devil what a brilliant question, I love all rodents, my heart just belongs to gerbils, they have always been there for me in my times of need, my divorce was a very difficult time and with the love and affection of my gerbils I honestly don’t know how I would have coped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gerbils are illegal in California. Smoke as many joints as you want but don’t dare keep a pet gerbil "
so thats why the smoke beef so much

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol


"Dirty devil what a brilliant question, I love all rodents, my heart just belongs to gerbils, they have always been there for me in my times of need, my divorce was a very difficult time and with the love and affection of my gerbils I honestly don’t know how I would have coped"

Thanks for replying Gerry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apologies in advance Gerry.

What's the difference between an actor and a burnt rodent?

One is Chris Pratt and the other is a crisp rat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/22 17:29:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahahahaha that was a great one, I’ll tell that to Gregory in just a moment, he’s my oldest, he’ll truly appreciate that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must ask though that you don’t eat our rodent friends please

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Gerry, would you say gerbils are nocturnal or diurnal animals as a whole?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gerry iv had an idea i think you should put a bag on your profile for the gerbils with all the fab snacks that get thrown about around here like popcorns or cakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s another great question _ryandsee, gerbils are actually active both day and night, some of my fellow gerbil breeders say they can be worse than children for keeping them up, I do say they shouldn’t keep them in their bedrooms but I have been there myself and I understand how difficult the separation anxiety can be, best of luck to them I say, god bless them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha I will try that inevitable, my gerbils love a snack, I don’t feed them too much cake though, they are prone to high cholesterol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha I will try that inevitable, my gerbils love a snack, I don’t feed them too much cake though, they are prone to high cholesterol "
interesting fact you dont need it to end up the size of a chinchilla do ya

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

What sort of treat do yours most like to gnaw Gerry?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Richard Geers favourite rodent "

This bothers me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their favourite snacks are critters choice raspberry nibbles! They love them _ryandsee, if you ever get a gerbil and I really recommend you do then that’s why you want, they will nuzzle you for their entire lives

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Their favourite snacks are critters choice raspberry nibbles! They love them _ryandsee, if you ever get a gerbil and I really recommend you do then that’s why you want, they will nuzzle you for their entire lives "

Thank you, that does sound enticing. I read they like carrots and cucumbers too and I am partial myself to some crudités

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me "

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They love all vegetables, my gerbils are strict vegans, they won’t touch meat, but that’s their regular diet, their snacks have to be exotic, they’re not too dissimilar to you and I there hahah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/22 17:53:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums "

Have I missed something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?"

Where's Jonny when you need him. He'd explain.

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"They love all vegetables, my gerbils are strict vegans, they won’t touch meat, but that’s their regular diet, their snacks have to be exotic, they’re not too dissimilar to you and I there hahah"

Indeed, we all like a bit of mango or papaya or some lovely physalis from time to time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?"

Obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?

Where's Jonny when you need him. He'd explain. "

Plotting his revenge against Pure Gym’s top shagger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?

Obviously "

Right I’ve just googled it. Wtf?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Alan was later found floating face down in a sheep dip, covered in tiny lacerations.

Which Alan? Not the gerbil I assume."

A very good question. Which would you like it to be? I haven’t made that bit up yet ….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone mentioned gerbils eat their own babies yet? Tiny bodies with missing heads in the litter is really quite a traumatic sight.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Anyone mentioned gerbils eat their own babies yet? Tiny bodies with missing heads in the litter is really quite a traumatic sight. "

….. and each other as adults why I’d never go near a gerbil again !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for your points and questions ladies and nice to meet you both, god bless you, the drive for a gerbil to eat its baby is evolutionary, the reasons are to do with the nutrition of the mother and the rest of the litter, by killing one or two pups, the mother ensures that both the parents and the rest of the litter can survive, what you'll rarely see is a mother killing her Young for no reason, I agree it is very upsetting but what would be more upsetting is if none of them made it, a whole litter of no surviving pups would make the world a much darker place believe you me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This reminds me - how are the kids Gerry?

Haven't seen your youngest recently - he OK?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Search 'Armageddon gerbil' on Youtube. You won't be sorry.

Well, you might be, but it's still funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think maybe you have me mixed up with somebody else? I did think you were just rub tickling initially, I’m sorry if I have lead you to believe we know one another, I hope that we can though, we could have a jolly good time with all the jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think maybe you have me mixed up with somebody else? I did think you were just rub tickling initially, I’m sorry if I have lead you to believe we know one another, I hope that we can though, we could have a jolly good time with all the jokes"

Don't pretend you don't know me. I saw what happened in Bradford 'Spoons after the National Gerbil Society Championship show was cancelled in January.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone mentioned gerbils eat their own babies yet? Tiny bodies with missing heads in the litter is really quite a traumatic sight.

….. and each other as adults why I’d never go near a gerbil again ! "
but they dont hate tho only love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don’t think I am usually like that, Bill had that dressing down coming to him for weeks, I told the judges long before that day about his use of performance enhancing drugs on his gerbils, he is a cheat and he will go down in competitive gerbiling history as such, my only regret from that day is startling poor Phillis by raising my voice, and in my defence I didn’t know she had a heart condition, god bless her soul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great fact inevitable, they do indeed only love and not hate, it’s wonderful to see somebody use that here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please don’t think I am usually like that, Bill had that dressing down coming to him for weeks, I told the judges long before that day about his use of performance enhancing drugs on his gerbils, he is a cheat and he will go down in competitive gerbiling history as such, my only regret from that day is startling poor Phillis by raising my voice, and in my defence I didn’t know she had a heart condition, god bless her soul "
gerbiling history

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please don’t think I am usually like that, Bill had that dressing down coming to him for weeks, I told the judges long before that day about his use of performance enhancing drugs on his gerbils, he is a cheat and he will go down in competitive gerbiling history as such, my only regret from that day is startling poor Phillis by raising my voice, and in my defence I didn’t know she had a heart condition, god bless her soul "

There have been rumours going round about Bill for ages Gerry but you can't go around making accusations like that.

You'll end up making a fool of yourself - Bill's far too clever to be caught.

They don't call him the Alberto Salazar of the gerbil world for no reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just can’t fathom why somebody would dope a gerbil or what his gerbils must be feeling, they don’t know how to deal with all that increased muscle mass and testosterone, their cages must feel like octagon’s, poor little guys, the first rule of gerbil doping is that it must be spoken about in great depths and then reported to the UFG! (Universal federation of gerbiling)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Gerry. You’re my new favourite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just can’t fathom why somebody would dope a gerbil or what his gerbils must be feeling, they don’t know how to deal with all that increased muscle mass and testosterone, their cages must feel like octagon’s, poor little guys, the first rule of gerbil doping is that it must be spoken about in great depths and then reported to the UFG! (Universal federation of gerbiling)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lovely statement to make Nora, god bless you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My brother used to have a gerbil when we were kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s amazing midnight, they are magnificent creatures and the perfect addition to any family home

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

You are a long way from Mongolia Gerry, hope you adapt to the new climate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just can’t fathom why somebody would dope a gerbil or what his gerbils must be feeling, they don’t know how to deal with all that increased muscle mass and testosterone, their cages must feel like octagon’s, poor little guys, the first rule of gerbil doping is that it must be spoken about in great depths and then reported to the UFG! (Universal federation of gerbiling)"

Don't get me started about the UFG Gerry. You know they upset the apple cart with their promises of glitzy competitions and big money.

The National Gerbil Society is and always will be the only legitimate governing body.

If you've got beef, take it up with them. Bill's brother is president but he's as honest as the day is long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at us, rattling on like a couple of bachelors with our steins, I bet the other gerbil enthusiasts can’t get a word in edgeways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at us, rattling on like a couple of bachelors with our steins, I bet the other gerbil enthusiasts can’t get a word in edgeways"

Sorry Gerry - it's just impossible not to get passionate about the gerbo-politic situation in the world right now.

I'll let sleeping gerbils lie.

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

This will definitely go down in the history of fab as one of those historic moments that's for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This will definitely go down in the history of fab as one of those historic moments that's for sure "

Is it too soon to nominate gerbils for the Hall of Fame?

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"This will definitely go down in the history of fab as one of those historic moments that's for sure

Is it too soon to nominate gerbils for the Hall of Fame? "

I am not sure. Perhaps give it a wee bit longer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?

Where's Jonny when you need him. He'd explain.

Plotting his revenge against Pure Gym’s top shagger "

You don't think he's been called out to a duel, do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My gerbils have been nominated for many awards, I feel honoured that you would consider them here already for a hall of fame place, that is just magical, god bless you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?

Where's Jonny when you need him. He'd explain.

Plotting his revenge against Pure Gym’s top shagger

You don't think he's been called out to a duel, do you? "

He's probably conceded, they'll be at the gym perving together. Or over each other...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Geers favourite rodent

This bothers me

I'm surprised no one on here has tried it...but then again, they wouldn't admit it...or would they...probably, judging from some of the dubious activities boasted about on these forums

Have I missed something?

Where's Jonny when you need him. He'd explain.

Plotting his revenge against Pure Gym’s top shagger

You don't think he's been called out to a duel, do you?

He's probably conceded, they'll be at the gym perving together. Or over each other..."

Things got dark yesterday - I'm sure Jonny wouldn't antagonise him aga...oh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My gerbils have been nominated for many awards, I feel honoured that you would consider them here already for a hall of fame place, that is just magical, god bless you"

The Hall of Fame is only for special creatures, Gerry. And anal.

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Gerbil has to be the perfect animal for Fab.

-Full of nervous energy

-Loves attention till it doesn't and then it tells you in no uncertain terms.

- Shags anything including same sex (though they all deny it - complaining the big brown eyes tricked them)

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


" Alan was later found floating face down in a sheep dip, covered in tiny lacerations.

Which Alan? Not the gerbil I assume.

A very good question. Which would you like it to be? I haven’t made that bit up yet …."

I have no preference, though I'd be shocked if it was Alan the gerbil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Alan was later found floating face down in a sheep dip, covered in tiny lacerations.

Which Alan? Not the gerbil I assume.

A very good question. Which would you like it to be? I haven’t made that bit up yet ….

I have no preference, though I'd be shocked if it was Alan the gerbil. "

Looking forward to the next installment, DM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all kicked off this morning Gerry.

Bill has posted on the NGS Facebook page that you've got your cock out on a swingers' site. Phyllis is in tears and Arthur is hell bent on revenge. You've opened a cage of juiced up gerbils and no mistake. You should never have made those accusations.

DM me when you get a moment

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Guinea pigs are better in my opinion

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"Gerbil has to be the perfect animal for Fab.

-Full of nervous energy

-Loves attention till it doesn't and then it tells you in no uncertain terms.

- Shags anything including same sex (though they all deny it - complaining the big brown eyes tricked them)"

These behaviours aren't restricted to gerbils though, a lot of small mammals exhibit these.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gerbil has to be the perfect animal for Fab.

-Full of nervous energy

-Loves attention till it doesn't and then it tells you in no uncertain terms.

- Shags anything including same sex (though they all deny it - complaining the big brown eyes tricked them)

These behaviours aren't restricted to gerbils though, a lot of small mammals exhibit these."

Hey! I’m 5’6”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh the Donis this is terrible news, I just can’t get my head around my Phillis would think I would display my Phallus, we have known each other for 34 years, one can only assume they are trying to damage my reputation for the upcoming SARCies (South American rodent competition) I will be penning a strongly worded letter to the board and I’m tempted to not even proof read it, that’s how miffed I am over this, it’s a blatant attempt at a character assassination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh the Donis this is terrible news, I just can’t get my head around my Phillis would think I would display my Phallus, we have known each other for 34 years, one can only assume they are trying to damage my reputation for the upcoming SARCies (South American rodent competition) I will be penning a strongly worded letter to the board and I’m tempted to not even proof read it, that’s how miffed I am over this, it’s a blatant attempt at a character assassination "

I hope this all blows over soon Gerry.

I wish you all the best in the SARCies - and I really mean that x

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"Gerbil has to be the perfect animal for Fab.

-Full of nervous energy

-Loves attention till it doesn't and then it tells you in no uncertain terms.

- Shags anything including same sex (though they all deny it - complaining the big brown eyes tricked them)

These behaviours aren't restricted to gerbils though, a lot of small mammals exhibit these.

Hey! I’m 5’6”."

To an blue whale, you are minuscule

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you Don, may I call you Don? Lovely words from you this morning, this will drive me on in my aim to be the best gerbiler the world has ever seen!!

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I heard on another thread that someone has missed the gerbils or may be they just missed Gerry or both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have this thread for comfort until he returns.

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By *ryandsee OP   Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

He must be exhibiting his gerbils at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I heard on another thread that someone has missed the gerbils or may be they just missed Gerry or both. "

Weekends must be busy gerbiling times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I heard on another thread that someone has missed the gerbils or may be they just missed Gerry or both.

Weekends must be busy gerbiling times. "

That was my first thought.

Maybe he’s in A&E….

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