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"I’ve got no advice on the meeting people but if your marriage is that bad you should leave."  | |||
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"I can't and never have been able to have sex without the intimacy. For me they come hand in hand x" Me too..  | |||
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"For us, swinging is purely for sex, intimacy is for each other." | |||
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"I can't and never have been able to have sex without the intimacy. For me they come hand in hand x" And before anyone jumps on the bandwagon.... I'm not saying those that do have just sex with no intimacy are wrong!!! | |||
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"I’d like more intimacy and more sex "Well yes of course ?? | |||
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"He’s not asking for comments on his marriage ffs Both for me definitely. "Thank you | |||
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"Just ask for the best contraception to use if meeting elsewhere and the girls should help you out. "  naughty | |||
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"Just ask for the best contraception to use if meeting elsewhere and the girls should help you out. " No that’s only if you’re a woman. If you’re a man playing away you’re scum. Have you not read the rule book?  | |||
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"Just curious.. I am in a pretty loveless marriage.. and while I miss (and very much enjoy!) Good sex, I find its the Intimacy I am missing.. talking, flirting, kissing cuddling etc. Is this just me? Or I am on the completely wrong site to ask these questions lol!? Sometimes rather than sex I just want to meet some one to chill and have fun with.. I dont know.. probably barking up the wrong tree "I’m in a similar situation and I also miss the intimacy. I think it’s pretty common and it’s daft to suggest that you talk to your wife as I’m sure that you have already tried that. I think most people wouldn't choose this route if they didn’t feel like they had done everything they could to resurrect their relationship or if they thought leaving the marriage was appropriate/possible. Sending hugs x | |||
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"Appreciate the just leave or talk to your wife comments but trust me if it were that easy then I already would have left "Not that I agree with what you are doing , but just to add that I agree , it’s really not that easy to leave ( massively speaking from experience ) | |||
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MJ x | |||
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"Just curious.. I am in a pretty loveless marriage.. and while I miss (and very much enjoy!) Good sex, I find its the Intimacy I am missing.. talking, flirting, kissing cuddling etc. Is this just me? Or I am on the completely wrong site to ask these questions lol!? Sometimes rather than sex I just want to meet some one to chill and have fun with.. I dont know.. probably barking up the wrong tree
I’m in a similar situation and I also miss the intimacy. I think it’s pretty common and it’s daft to suggest that you talk to your wife as I’m sure that you have already tried that. I think most people wouldn't choose this route if they didn’t feel like they had done everything they could to resurrect their relationship or if they thought leaving the marriage was appropriate/possible. Sending hugs x "That is really sweet.. thank you so much for your reply x | |||
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"Appreciate the just leave or talk to your wife comments but trust me if it were that easy then I already would have left
Not that I agree with what you are doing , but just to add that I agree , it’s really not that easy to leave ( massively speaking from experience )"thank you x | |||
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"Both ideally but intimacy over sex every time "Someone agrees | |||
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"Just curious.. I am in a pretty loveless marriage.. and while I miss (and very much enjoy!) Good sex, I find its the Intimacy I am missing.. talking, flirting, kissing cuddling etc. Is this just me? Or I am on the completely wrong site to ask these questions lol!? Sometimes rather than sex I just want to meet some one to chill and have fun with.. I dont know.. probably barking up the wrong tree "I know what you mean... And completely agree. Sex can be biological and transactional, intimacy... So much more.. I wish you the best with it. | |||
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"Just curious.. I am in a pretty loveless marriage.. and while I miss (and very much enjoy!) Good sex, I find its the Intimacy I am missing.. talking, flirting, kissing cuddling etc. Is this just me? Or I am on the completely wrong site to ask these questions lol!? Sometimes rather than sex I just want to meet some one to chill and have fun with.. I dont know.. probably barking up the wrong tree "I'm an extremely sensual woman, I find it difficult to enjoy a fuck if I'm not connected  sexual vibrations have to click for me to enjoy any form of sex.
Like giving a bj I cannot just suck at it like its the last lolly pop I'll ever be blessed to place between my lips, I adore cock, I am sensual in everything I do sexually.
Everyone is different,  | |||
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"Intimacy is way more important than sex for me. Without a decent level of intimacy there will be no sex. " 100% x | |||
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"I’ve got no advice on the meeting people but if your marriage is that bad you should leave. " | |||
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"On here? Sex. I’m not here to be someone’s emotional buffer when they’re going through a bad time at home. " While I appreciate your message.. looking for a shoulder to cry on is not what I am saying I am looking for | |||
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"Just curious.. I am in a pretty loveless marriage.. and while I miss (and very much enjoy!) Good sex, I find its the Intimacy I am missing.. talking, flirting, kissing cuddling etc. Is this just me? Or I am on the completely wrong site to ask these questions lol!? Sometimes rather than sex I just want to meet some one to chill and have fun with.. I dont know.. probably barking up the wrong tree
I'm an extremely sensual woman, I find it difficult to enjoy a fuck if I'm not connected sexual vibrations have to click for me to enjoy any form of sex.
Like giving a bj I cannot just suck at it like its the last lolly pop I'll ever be blessed to place between my lips, I adore cock, I am sensual in everything I do sexually.
Everyone is different, "Totally with you there | |||
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"I can't and never have been able to have sex without the intimacy. For me they come hand in hand x Me too.. "The intimacy of sex I miss | |||
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"I'd love to know of any men or women close to Leeds that are happy with just intimacy and most likely a build up to more.." Yes & local | |||
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"On here? Sex. I’m not here to be someone’s emotional buffer when they’re going through a bad time at home. " That's not what intimacy is? | |||
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"I am not looking for intimacy with is way I am on a swinging site. For me it's just about sex and nothing more. " Brilliant comment x  | |||
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However if I had been with them a long time & it suddenly disappeared I don't know what I would do,though would try my best to understand & hopefully find a solution. | |||
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"I don't think you're barking up the wrong tree but it might be more difficult for you to find it on this site OP. Lots of forum users, myself included, like a blend of intimacy and lust. I'm not sure about the rest of the site though. "This for me. I look primarily for sex, so intimacy without sex wouldn't do it for me, but I'd also find it hard to have sex without that intimacy. My preferred arrangement is FWB, a base level of friendship there, plenty of intimacy but also often having sex. It works well for me when I can find it. I've not found it easy to find on this site OP, and I'm single so have fewer restrictions! Good luck. | |||
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"Can't be intimate with a guy unless attraction & connection, I want to give all I have to him..kisses, cuddles etc.. Can't just have sex without it, I think it would feel weird, just my opinion..
However if I had been with them a long time & it suddenly disappeared I don't know what I would do,though would try my best to understand & hopefully find a solution. "Everyone can have sex but not everyone can have intimacy | |||
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You’re not wrong to want the things you’ve mentioned; for many people that would absolutely natural, intimacy is key for many as you’ll have seen from this thread.
As for me, it’s not what I’m here for; despite not really having any, I’m also not looking for it. I need to feel some form of attraction to someone and feel sufficiently comfortable around them for sex to happen, but intimacy? No. The part of me that cared about that is long gone. | |||
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"Sorry to hear of your situation OP, and I hope you find what you’re looking for and maybe even a solution to the wider problem.
You’re not wrong to want the things you’ve mentioned; for many people that would absolutely natural, intimacy is key for many as you’ll have seen from this thread.
As for me, it’s not what I’m here for; despite not really having any, I’m also not looking for it. I need to feel some form of attraction to someone and feel sufficiently comfortable around them for sex to happen, but intimacy? No. The part of me that cared about that is long gone."Gone or perhaps suppressed for so long it feels that way? | |||
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"Unfortunately, I’m in the same position, and having posted myself and also read other threads on here it’s not that uncommon. I have no idea what the answer is. Personally I could cope without the sex, it’s everything else I miss and yearn for. Just to be touched by a woman, or a long lingering kiss, would be heaven. Like you OP, divorce is not an option, end of. And I too have tried talking but it just creates an argument, so why bother, it doesn’t achieve anything. I came on here to try and find that little extra that I’m missing but without success, however I’ve taken immense comfort in participating in the forums and live in eternal hope that maybe there is a lady out there who will meet up for a coffee one day. Best of luck OP and hope things work out for you. " This sums up my situation too. For me, in general, intimacy and sex are part and parcel of the same thing. | |||
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"Gone or perhaps suppressed for so long it feels that way?" An extremely slim chance it’s the latter; almost certainly the former. | |||
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"Gone or perhaps suppressed for so long it feels that way? An extremely slim chance it’s the latter; almost certainly the former." I left my LTR and found a completely new lease of life. I'm a different person. | |||
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"I left my LTR and found a completely new lease of life. I'm a different person." That’s good to hear; I know for many people that’s necessary and ends up being a great thing for them.
My wife and I still love each other to bits; neither of us want to grow old with anyone else, which we’ve attested to many times. Our sex lives have just diverged as we don’t want the same things and saw no point in throwing away everything else over that. She does her thing, I (completely fail to) do mine….
The connection I have with her will do me; it’s not ‘lovey-dovey’ and has never been stereotypically so, although more so previously than now and I wouldn’t say no to a little coming back.
But intimacy or ‘deep connection’ elsewhere on top of that is just far too much for me.
Apologies to OP for the hijack here….it seemed related so thought I’d run with it in case it helped at all. | |||
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"I’ve got no advice on the meeting people but if your marriage is that bad you should leave." | |||
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"I left my LTR and found a completely new lease of life. I'm a different person. That’s good to hear; I know for many people that’s necessary and ends up being a great thing for them.
My wife and I still love each other to bits; neither of us want to grow old with anyone else, which we’ve attested to many times. Our sex lives have just diverged as we don’t want the same things and saw no point in throwing away everything else over that. She does her thing, I (completely fail to) do mine….
The connection I have with her will do me; it’s not ‘lovey-dovey’ and has never been stereotypically so, although more so previously than now and I wouldn’t say no to a little coming back.
But intimacy or ‘deep connection’ elsewhere on top of that is just far too much for me.
Apologies to OP for the hijack here….it seemed related so thought I’d run with it in case it helped at all. "I see - quite a different situation to mine I think | |||
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"I have no interest in sex with no intimacy. It doesn't have to be all nighters or romantic but a cuddle after and a chat and a laugh is what makes it for me. I've had sex where it's just sex and it's not for me in fact I'd rather never sex again than do that again, it's usually unsatisfactory sex that makes me feel empty and crap after. It's one of the reasons I gave up on sex for years I got so fed up of crap sex that meant nothing I decided to go without rather than bother with it ." Completely agree | |||
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Lx | |||
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"….. but a cuddle after and a chat and a laugh is what makes it for me. " Interesting. Seems like personal definitions are at play. To me, the description above is just the vanilla version of aftercare. Unless it was agreed that it was a fuck-and-go meet, I wouldn’t just splash-and-dash. Intimacy by my definition is something with more connected emotion behind it than just post-sex sociability. | |||
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"Hmmm…I think intimacy is incredibly sexy. And you can be intimate with a stranger, imo…it’s the act of intimacy, the play, the movements and actions, the time taken, words spoken. A hard fucking can still be intimate in many ways…and there needn’t be emotions (as in romantic feelings) involved either. That’s the best kind of sex for me. Intense and passionate and intimate without shackles (emotional ones…physical ones I’d be into )
Lx"Absolutelty agree with you.. thanks for your comments x | |||
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"….. but a cuddle after and a chat and a laugh is what makes it for me. Interesting. Seems like personal definitions are at play. To me, the description above is just the vanilla version of aftercare. Unless it was agreed that it was a fuck-and-go meet, I wouldn’t just splash-and-dash. Intimacy by my definition is something with more connected emotion behind it than just post-sex sociability." Well like you said that's just your definition . | |||
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"Hmmm…I think intimacy is incredibly sexy. And you can be intimate with a stranger, imo…it’s the act of intimacy, the play, the movements and actions, the time taken, words spoken. A hard fucking can still be intimate in many ways…and there needn’t be emotions (as in romantic feelings) involved either. That’s the best kind of sex for me. Intense and passionate and intimate without shackles (emotional ones…physical ones I’d be into )
Lx"This | |||
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"I crave intimacy most of the time over sex but fab is definitely a sex over intimacy place." This is what this thread has probably taught me. I am probably not going to find what I am looking for on Fab. Some great people on here though | |||
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"For us, swinging is purely for sex, intimacy is for each other." | |||
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"For us, swinging is purely for sex, intimacy is for each other. "It would be both with Jo. She's lovely x | |||
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"For us, swinging is purely for sex, intimacy is for each other.
It would be both with Jo. She's lovely x"your kind thanks | |||
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"I don't get why people stay in these marriages. If unhappy go. " If it was as simple as that I would have some time ago. I hope that you dont have to go through the stuff that has put us where we are. Good luck to you | |||
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"So... Tell us more about your wife who isn't loved by you. C" She has a very serious illness. Thats all I am going to say in a public forum. I do love her, but the intimacy and all physical contact has gone. | |||
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"So... Tell us more about your wife who isn't loved by you. C" Not needed at all, the op asked a question about intimacy and sex. Not relationship advice | |||
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"So... Tell us more about your wife who isn't loved by you. C She has a very serious illness. Thats all I am going to say in a public forum. I do love her, but the intimacy and all physical contact has gone. " You don't need to explain yourself at all. Your reasons are your business and nobody elses. I'm sorry you felt you had to respond to this. I hope your wife returns to full health. | |||
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"So... Tell us more about your wife who isn't loved by you. C" Jesus. That was unnecessary. | |||
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"So... Tell us more about your wife who isn't loved by you. C She has a very serious illness. Thats all I am going to say in a public forum. I do love her, but the intimacy and all physical contact has gone. You don't need to explain yourself at all. Your reasons are your business and nobody elses. I'm sorry you felt you had to respond to this. I hope your wife returns to full health. " Thank you | |||
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"For us, swinging is purely for sex, intimacy is for each other." Same here | |||
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