FabSwingers.com forum: Can't show my face "because of my job"

By *wingsnroundabouts OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

What nonsense is this?

Ok, so we don't have face pics in public, but that's because we don't fecking want to - at least we're honest about it.

We just don't understand this excuse at all... If somebody from work sees your face on here, then firstly, they're here for the same reason as you, and secondly, surely the boss would sack both people if needs be? Wouldn't that be unfair dismissal anyway? Surely what you do outside of your work life is up to you?

Again, if your boss saw you, surely (s)he'd be sacked by his/ her boss in turn?

Can somebody explain this reason coz it confuses the hell out of us!

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

You clearly haven't seen what has been happening in the Scotland forum?

Have a look at the Sunday Mail thread.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I can understand why discretion is more important to some people than others perhaps and I guess it is an individual choice as to whether one posts a face picture on the site, publicly or otherwise. Having said that I / we personally would not meet anybody unless we have seen a clear face picture... for one it is nice to know whom to look for in a meeting rather than having to describe oneself..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say its nonsense at all but realistically you are going to need to see who someone is before you arrange to meet with most people especially if travelling of any distance is involved.

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By *ouple_SpondonCouple
over a year ago

Spondon

I'd like to know what job those people have that worries them so much to make such a daft statement. My employer would be very unimpressed if i wad found out but theres not a darn thing they could do about it.

Personally i'm more worried about a friend of family member spotting it... It'd be so awkward. :-\

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/128075

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By *MOOTH AND ROUGHCouple
over a year ago

tamworth

We agree we have our face pics in our private collection but send with messages weve come across so called couples who have no pics on profile and cant send face pics cause of nature of work we just block them

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Its not up to me how someone else has their profile. However if they have no pics I am unlikely to meet them.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"What nonsense is this?

Ok, so we don't have face pics in public, but that's because we don't fecking want to - at least we're honest about it.

Again, if your boss saw you, surely (s)he'd be sacked by his/ her boss in turn?

Can somebody explain this reason coz it confuses the hell out of us! "

Dont think anyone can be sacked for just being on a swinging site. I agree about the pics..at least have one in private to show.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Dont think anyone can be sacked for just being on a swinging site. I agree about the pics..at least have one in private to show."
I agree with you - having said that I have worked in jobs where anything that could put the company in "ill repute" would have constituted a problem. Now they might not be able to sack you for being in the scene but they could make life tricky for you. Sad, I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have mine on public display because I was of the opinion that if anyone did see, they were here for the same reasons and so would say nothing publicly...changed my mind when one of the technicians where I used to work decided to show my profile to pretty much everyone I worked with. Only found out about it because a fellow member reported it to a manager and let me know...to this day she was the only person who said anything to my face, the rest discussed my profile and verifications behind my back! The opinion from management was apparently that what I do in my private life was no-one else's business...not sure the opinion would have been the same if I were a teacher or social worker or something similar.

If people want to keep there pics private then I fully support them to do so...although I would want to see one before arranging a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discretion is not a bad thing. Some people work in very very very public zones.

Meaning they do not want any Tom Dick or Fanny seeing them on here.

And you are naive to assume people are on here for the same reasons, many people are on here simply to SEE..... who is local.

The problem in part too to this site - is any tom dick and harry can have a peek - so despite good intentions that it be a site for all of like minded nature.

It can be exploited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they're MI5 or just like to think they are?!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Discretion is not a bad thing. Some people work in very very very public zones.

Meaning they do not want any Tom Dick or Fanny seeing them on here.

And you are naive to assume people are on here for the same reasons, many people are on here simply to SEE..... who is local.

The problem in part too to this site - is any tom dick and harry can have a peek - so despite good intentions that it be a site for all of like minded nature.

It can be exploited.

"
I would like to know how Fanny became Harry

I do agree with your post though.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Maybe they're MI5 or just like to think they are?!

"
Actually that is quite funny because there are some people who like to "sell" themselves as important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe they're MI5 or just like to think they are?!

Actually that is quite funny because there are some people who like to "sell" themselves as important.

Too many on here sometimes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to know how Fanny became Harry

I do agree with your post though.

If you really need to know about Harry and Fanny then you need to look at the kind Prince and Major James Hewitt. And spot the harry betwixt the fanny!

But really you are stepping on toes that do not want to be trodden upon.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

)

But really you are stepping on toes that do not want to be trodden upon.

"
Oooops that happens quite accidentally sometimes in real life... my mouth is often quicker than my brain...Bad combination, I tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But surely great when dogging in the woods!!!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"But surely great when dogging in the woods!!!

"
shhhhhhhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

of course not but for me to reveal the location simply the traffic updates and news of M6 jams merely hints toward such locations where many seek a quick mouth and fast tongue

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"of course not but for me to reveal the location simply the traffic updates and news of M6 jams merely hints toward such locations where many seek a quick mouth and fast tongue

Haha that is why I have the very latest sat nav informing me of any potential delay and suggesting quicker alternatives, not that speed is always essential. Mind you sat navs dont have dogging sites and clubs in their repertoire.... yet...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am starting to believe you indeed may have done a deal or two with - tom and tom and tom tom too

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"of course not but for me to reveal the location simply the traffic updates and news of M6 jams merely hints toward such locations where many seek a quick mouth and fast tongue

Maybe we should that as an update for mr tomtom?!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"of course not but for me to reveal the location simply the traffic updates and news of M6 jams merely hints toward such locations where many seek a quick mouth and fast tongue

Maybe we should that as an update for mr tomtom?!

"
Maybe..... we should

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By *wingsnroundabouts OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

The above are all valid points and of course we realise people work in the public domain, however the majority, if not all, of these points are rectified by putting face pics in private. As somebody stated, management where she worked decided what she did in her spare time is her choice, and so it should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a face picture in private mostly because of my job and I am glad I did as one night when I got home, I had received a message from my sons friend

would have been a very tricky situation had I got my face picture on display for all to see now wouldn't it

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"What nonsense is this?

Ok, so we don't have face pics in public, but that's because we don't fecking want to - at least we're honest about it.

Again, if your boss saw you, surely (s)he'd be sacked by his/ her boss in turn?

Can somebody explain this reason coz it confuses the hell out of us! "

And what if you were, say a school governor? Activities here are not illegal - yet the perception from the school/parents might be very uncomfortable...

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

IF people are that worried about their jobs they shouldn't join sites like this......

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I do have fave pics in my private gallery, but I am very stingy about who gets to see them.

I have also made sure that any which clearly identify me are merely a little suggestive at the most.

I don't claim that my job would be in peril, but it could lead to some interesting conversations with clients! So all the rude stuff is saved for behind closed doors with people of my choosing.

So when I get told that someone can't send me a face pic or meet me in a public place due to the nature of their work I simply say: no problem, goodbye. And tbh it makes me think married rather than appeals court judge or MP...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"IF people are that worried about their jobs they shouldn't join sites like this......"

I partially agree...however I do see another side to it:

unless ur affecting ur job by ur swingstyle then nothing should be said about it.

I'd like my right to be a hetrowhatever not to be judged on my ability o perform tasks.

and throwing this one out, not to belittle any group... but is there such a cause of flurry about those on dedicated gay sites?..just appears to me that this is about 'wifeswapping' and those moral _iews that are against it... thank fuck am not married anyway lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would say I respect those who have face pics public.

Those who do are to be commended in our opinion.

We keep ours hidden for a reason like many others.

No face pics then don't bother.

This isn't blind date

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Being outed on here wouldn't necessarily lead to me being fired, however, due to information I have access to it's feasible I could be blackmailed... so my photos will remain private.

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Well you should repect. Peoples wishes. Nothing wrong with a social meet

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

No face photo no meet but we had them say give me your phone number and will send one did that once tex and phone calls at all hours of the day and night after we said no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 2 years ago, a female social worker went to work on a Monday morning & found her profile plastered over several office computers - her opening photo was a face pic.

She was then dismissed for contravening her contract. More & more work contracts have a clause threatening dismissal for attracting negative publicity &/or bringing the company name into dispute.

Obviously, as we intend to meet people & there has to be some attraction, we need to be able show & send images but there is nothing wrong with discretion - a 2 minute trawl thru' the forums will often reveal jealousies & misunderstandings.

You have more control over private pics & who sees them.

Him.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

It never fails to amaze me how up in arms people become over how other members choose to use the site.

If there is anything on a profile I don't like I move on. Starting threads about something I don't like on someone's profile is disrespectful and arrogant...in my humble opinion of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being outed on here wouldn't necessarily lead to me being fired, however, due to information I have access to it's feasible I could be blackmailed... so my photos will remain private."

I work for a housing association, any of the tenants could be on here, possibly leading to the same as we have received a several complaints about tenants being swingers, you can imagine comments made in the office can't you

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

"What nonsense is this?

Ok, so we don't have face pics in public, but that's because we don't fecking want to - at least we're honest about it.

Again, if your boss saw you, surely (s)he'd be sacked by his/ her boss in turn?

Can somebody explain this reason coz it confuses the hell out of us! "

if you that concerned about being discovered and ot would affect your life in such a big way, dont swing

if we dont see face pics we hinest and say thanks but no, we have face pics on here so dont see why anyone else shouldnt xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What nonsense is this?

Ok, so we don't have face pics in public, but that's because we don't fecking want to - at least we're honest about it.

Again, if your boss saw you, surely (s)he'd be sacked by his/ her boss in turn?

Can somebody explain this reason coz it confuses the hell out of us!

And what if you were, say a school governor? Activities here are not illegal - yet the perception from the school/parents might be very uncomfortable...

There's lots of reasons like this.

I don't understand when people seem to think that swinging is totally accepted by the 'vanilla rest of the world', and wouldn't be a problem if people found out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"IF people are that worried about their jobs they shouldn't join sites like this......"

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By *pl- capdagdeCouple
over a year ago

Cap d agde,France

Many people exagerate these so called jobs of power they have,to make themselves feel important...In many cases its the males excuse for not having is pic on a couples profile,remembering their job is so highly important that even a torso pic can't be shown..

Swingings mainstream now these days and not so scandalous as people make it out to be.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

have any of you read the scottish thread or seen the papers this weekend????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't have face pics on here.

Speaking from experience, not everyone are happy fluffy bunny people and will.and can.use the pics maliciously.

Our choice to show or not show our faces is exactly that, our choice.

Some people are too trusting and give their pics away freely in conversations/correspodence. A question to ask yourselves is this, what will.the people/person do with the pics you send?

How do you know that your pics wont pop up on other sites as a couples profile so the culprit can entice other people to freely give them their personal.pics?

It pays to be careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand why they may feel like this about a face pic .. But with out a pic sent to phone or web cam .. or sent here i would never never meet them after i have a meet telling me he was this and that.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

what I find staggering on these type of threads is where people say 'what you do for a living shouldn't make a difference '

I think most would agree 'it shouldn't'

but in reality and in the real world...... IT DOES.

and people do need to decide is the risk worth taking... if not.. DON"T do it

or if it is and maybe lose out on a few meets due to people wanting pictures .... so be it.

and if people think there is honour between swingers, think on... on the whole maybe, when someones back is to the wall and they know something about another swinger who could get them off....... sing like canaries some would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't show my face ...........

............ cos it puts people off

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

The OP hasn't thought this through at all.

Super heros and crime fighters that swing have to hide their faces.

If their arch-enemies found out their true identities they could attack their families or worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been said many times before when this subject has been raised - there are many who have clauses in their contract regarding 'reputational risk' and 'public image' in their contracts - and that applies to what can be _iewed as inappropriate behaviour through a variety of definitions - not just swinging. Political affiliations, conflicts of interests through open activities that would reflect negatively on the company - being caught rat arsed tied to a lamppost in a high st with a daffodil stuck ip your arse!

And to say those in such a position should not be here is a little narrow minded! The appropriate behaviour involves discretion - and if that means no public face pics - that's an individuals choice - no one else's. the majority will of course have them in private - but there will still be some who prefer face to face contact with no 'electronic audit trail' - and it's entirely your choice as to whether you interact with them in this way or not!

Doesn't mean they're any less entitled to be here than anyone else!

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By *andyguy59Man
over a year ago

Gatwick

"Again, if your boss saw you, surely (s)he'd be sacked by his/ her boss in turn?

Can somebody explain this reason coz it confuses the hell out of us!"

Students....they are all over the internet....I teach IT and well there is very little security the 'good' ones cannot break.... so I don't even keep a face pic on my private gallery. I will send you a face pic when I get to know you...but they come on to swinger sites for a laugh.....and frequently.

So I keep my face photos elsewhere...they may look at my profile and have suspicions...but won't get a positive ID (I think.....but I'm probably wrong...)

Oh and if you think your wireless internet is secure ....nope it's not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would supply face picks when required but not for public browsing. This is because in my last work place (several sites around the area) one guy who is a member happened to hook up with another member who ironically worked for the same company in a senior role (did not realize until they met). Not really a problem but he immediately came into work and told several "mates" all about it. Luckily the people he told seem to have more discretion than him. Well this site works through discretion so with people like this guy saying "guess who I saw on Fabswingers" I would keep my face pics private until required for genuine people.

Just my opinion. Its a shame really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont think anyone can be sacked for just being on a swinging site."

You are 100% wrong.

Quite a lot of public sector code of conduct/management policies can sack you on the spot for gross misconduct/bringing service into disrepute.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I used to work behind the bar of a swingers club, a group of people discussing if others knew a certain couple ( all very nice comments as they are a well liked couple )

people said 'No, I don't think so...'

reply was something similar to ' you will do, she is the senior nurse in the XXX ward at XXX Royal Infirmary

not meant nastily, just stupid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"IF people are that worried about their jobs they shouldn't join sites like this......"

Utter rubbish!!

Why should we not join a site like this just because we can't show face pics because of our jobs?

Very narrow minded!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like to know what job those people have that worries them so much to make such a daft statement. My employer would be very unimpressed if i wad found out but theres not a darn thing they could do about it.

Personally i'm more worried about a friend of family member spotting it... It'd be so awkward. :-\"

If you work in the Public Sector, and specially if you do a job covered in any way by the OSA, then you can be in very serious sh.. er, trouble. It is the same as used to apply to any homosexual working in such a job prior to introduction of the law legalising it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont think anyone can be sacked for just being on a swinging site.

You are 100% wrong.

Quite a lot of public sector code of conduct/management policies can sack you on the spot for gross misconduct/bringing service into disrepute."

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