FabSwingers.com forum: Why do men bother?

By *m Normal OP Man
over a year ago

Telford

We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

So, why do we bother asking? The women here know what they want, when they want it, where they want it. TS TV are included in this. We can just sit back and wait for a suitable partner to come along. After all the chances of getting a date are just as good waiting as they are hunting.

What's your opinion?

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By *urvybeckiWoman
over a year ago

Enfield

Well if don't ask you don't get I don't go looking on here lol

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I just enjoy fab as a social club to share thoughts, ideas and humour. Anything else is a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted.

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Why do men arrange meets and not turn up and completely ignore the person/ persons they were meant to meet even if these people have been speaking for weeks/ months etc a d are verified

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By *ornypair300Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

We personally think the problem lies in all the needy desperate men that don’t take no for an answer . Plus sadly men are 80%+ of the members on the site . There are genuine ones out there, however they get missed because of all the fakers ect . If we have been bombarded with messages from men all day that have clearly no read our bio or just send “meet now” messages we simply ignore all the others too as it becomes monotonous trying to reply to them all and filter out the good from bad .

It’s not all doom and gloom tho , there’s a couple or person for everyone on here just takes time.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Honestly, my male partners do better than me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's totally up to anyone on this site if they want to chase or be chased.

Or, not look at that way at all - just as an opportunity to meet and chat with like-minded people. Some of whom you may end up having some fun with. I choose this approach.

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Manchester, but Usually Dundee and around

"I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted. "

Would be very happy for you to hunt me down...

I will give you a run for your money though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted.

Would be very happy for you to hunt me down...

I will give you a run for your money though

You'd better be quick. I'm fast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We personally think the problem lies in all the needy desperate men that don’t take no for an answer . Plus sadly men are 80%+ of the members on the site . There are genuine ones out there, however they get missed because of all the fakers ect . If we have been bombarded with messages from men all day that have clearly no read our bio or just send “meet now” messages we simply ignore all the others too as it becomes monotonous trying to reply to them all and filter out the good from bad .

It’s not all doom and gloom tho , there’s a couple or person for everyone on here just takes time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

This technique would be terrible for job hunters ...

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

It’s not all doom and gloom tho , there’s a couple or person for everyone on here just takes time.

Are those stats legit? I would love to know the actual ratios, where did you find them?

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By *k_guyMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

You seemingly just have to put yourself out there, and expect to be rejected. When you don’t get rejected, it does feel rather nice!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Some men are happy to sit back and wait for messages and some are pro-active. I just wish some of the pro-active ones would learn to read a profile but sadly most seem controlled by their penis! x

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

Simple answer is... I don't bother. I've stopped sending the first message as it got disheartening seinding a good first message and realizing it probably won't get read or deleted straight away even after reading the profile.

Now I just stick around the forums and work on my own profile and if they message me first then great. I'll also look out for socials and clubs when it suits me

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By *ornypair300Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

If we search 20mins in our local radius for single men results are 300+ if we do the same for women it’s 30 . Couples are even less . Countless threads on here regarding the same . Plus we now don’t bother with the who’s mobile nearby section as it’s once in a blue moon that there’s a single female or couple on there

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Owing to the vast numbers involved, and no doubt a great deal of oblivious men, its rather difficult for the majority of men to find what they're looking for (and many feel entitled to).

If messaging doesn't work, if sitting & waiting doesn't work, having a whinge is pretty much the only option left to them. Which will of course harm future efforts. Horniness affects cognitive performance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take out

Wuu2

Fancy fun?

I’m near you 2pm Weds can I fuck you

Wanna watch me wank on Skype?

And the rest of that ilk and the amount of messages which stand a chance are relatively small.

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted. "

Let me put my fox tail on

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By *irBummyFingerMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

I read a digest profiles and only ask if I think there could be a high probability of a yes, hence not many messages sent

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I generally stopped searching, because for multiple reasons it is almost pointless. By that I mean I'm not what they want, I'm just ignored, I'm lost in their thousands of messages, they have a better option. I'm not bitter or feeling sorry for myself.

It's just overall easier and less disheartening to be found (or never found) than continue to search and get nowhere. Again, that's not a complaint it is understanding the nature of how this place works.

I'm here, if somebody bothers to look and takes an interest great. If not, that's of no concern to me. Shockingly despite being here, my life does not revolve around having to find somebody to fuck.

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Manchester, but Usually Dundee and around

"I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted.

Would be very happy for you to hunt me down...

I will give you a run for your money though

You'd better be quick. I'm fast. "

I'm more endurance me... ultra marathons and long distance triathlons...

Stamina is a good thing right?!

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"If we search 20mins in our local radius for single men results are 300+ if we do the same for women it’s 30 . Couples are even less . Countless threads on here regarding the same . Plus we now don’t bother with the who’s mobile nearby section as it’s once in a blue moon that there’s a single female or couple on there "

Ah, okay, I thought you might have had an insight to the site numbers

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By *l6789Man
over a year ago

croydon

Well as the saying goes you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

But, I can't be bothered to scroll through hundreds of profiles. I want to be hunted, cos I'm lazy

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Not all things are equal

. Each man is in control of his destiny here -

How much effort he'll invest

How he learns to use the site to good effect - & if he does or not

If he's adaptable, uses the scene too, etc

We're biased to think that it's all 'Oh woe is me' for single men but that's because some of them post it up. Others get on with making life get better

Nobody ought to think that social and sexual engagement is easy for all. It's unrealistic. Posting a nob pic and a clueless 'fill in later' for months, etc isn't likely to win advertising awards.

People do bother because there are great people here and there's broad scope of interests. Plus it's the best site

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Manchester, but Usually Dundee and around

"Well as the saying goes you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket "

This isn't really relevant, because reading the information about the ticker doesn't help you get a successful outcome (reading profiles does).

Also using your analogy, some tickets are never going to win (no point a single guy messaging a guy lady who says no men!). So clearly there are some.tickets that are never going to be successful (so don't waste time messaging profiles that explicitly say they are not interested in you).

And finally, building a rapport first greatly increases the chances of a success on fab, I tried the same approach with my lottery ticket seller, and I still didn't even win a tenner!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

You need to ask the men that.

Personally, I don’t hunt and I don’t like to be hunted, instant turn off. The social side is just as important, so I will engage with someone, chat & get to know them before we decide whether to take it further.

You find what you are looking for when you stop looking !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally stopped searching, because for multiple reasons it is almost pointless. By that I mean I'm not what they want, I'm just ignored, I'm lost in their thousands of messages, they have a better option. I'm not bitter or feeling sorry for myself.

I'm here, if somebody bothers to look and takes an interest great. If not, that's of no concern to me. Shockingly despite being here, my life does not revolve around having to find somebody to fuck. "

I've stopped looking too. And I know other women who've stopped. Because it's not worth the hassle of having my time constantly wasted and being lied to. So I guess doesn't matter which side of Fab you are - it doesn't work that well for many.

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Manchester, but Usually Dundee and around

"Not all things are equal

. Each man is in control of his destiny here -

How much effort he'll invest

How he learns to use the site to good effect - & if he does or not

If he's adaptable, uses the scene too, etc

We're biased to think that it's all 'Oh woe is me' for single men but that's because some of them post it up. Others get on with making life get better

Nobody ought to think that social and sexual engagement is easy for all. It's unrealistic. Posting a nob pic and a clueless 'fill in later' for months, etc isn't likely to win advertising awards.

People do bother because there are great people here and there's broad scope of interests. Plus it's the best site

So true. And I've never seen a forum thread "single males getting loads of meets", because you just wouldn't shout about it.

But there are many guys that are.

I for one cannot complain!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont bother if anyone wants me they can make an appointment with my secretary unless shes busy sucking my sausage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly, my male partners do better than me. "

Who would say no to you

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By *l6789Man
over a year ago

croydon

"Well as the saying goes you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket

This isn't really relevant, because reading the information about the ticker doesn't help you get a successful outcome (reading profiles does).

And finally, building a rapport first greatly increases the chances of a success on fab, I tried the same approach with my lottery ticket seller, and I still didn't even win a tenner!"

Think it is relevant as it’s only a response relaying that if you don’t try you can’t succeed (in anything).

But thanks for stating the obvious with previous post

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I don't ever message first so I would be fucked - or rather I wouldn't be!

But I don't get why when I'm really clear that I only meet locals I get messages from Scottish people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because you never know who you might meet

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Not all things are equal

. Each man is in control of his destiny here -

How much effort he'll invest

How he learns to use the site to good effect - & if he does or not

If he's adaptable, uses the scene too, etc

We're biased to think that it's all 'Oh woe is me' for single men but that's because some of them post it up. Others get on with making life get better

Nobody ought to think that social and sexual engagement is easy for all. It's unrealistic. Posting a nob pic and a clueless 'fill in later' for months, etc isn't likely to win advertising awards.

People do bother because there are great people here and there's broad scope of interests. Plus it's the best site

Yes that would be the equivalent of a man turning up to the pub having made no effort to bathe or brush his teeth and then wonder why he can't pull.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I'm here, if somebody bothers to look and takes an interest great. If not, that's of no concern to me. Shockingly despite being here, my life does not revolve around having to find somebody to fuck.

I've stopped searching and sending first messages.

I like the group socials I've been to from this site though, they've been great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My male partners from fab seem to be doing quite well, or so it seems .

Don’t know if it’s to do that they are quite handsome so obviously they might find it easier?

Personally, I don’t hunt here and let them come to me, if I fancy someone out of the choices, I’ll organise something.

Generally I only hunt or ask, with guys I met before then I will sometimes actively be that bitch that says

“Yo, what u doing? fancy some fun?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since being back on fab in the last few months i changed my game and honestly ive had more success in lining up meets than i ever did before. I stopped bothering to message women through profile searching, or even from the forums, and say "hey fancy meeting up", im not wasting my time and energy on uncertainty and disappointment

Instead i let a connection form with those who are interested and let it build into a mutual desire to meet up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't come here to get shagged

It works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm here, if somebody bothers to look and takes an interest great. If not, that's of no concern to me. Shockingly despite being here, my life does not revolve around having to find somebody to fuck.

I've stopped searching and sending first messages.

I like the group socials I've been to from this site though, they've been great."

I'm attending my first in a few weeks too and looking forward to meeting lots of forumites.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

My other half does ok on here

We met as singles and still meet separately.

I think many men ,well the ones on my updates that are always moaning ,struggle because they've put no effort into their profile or messages .

I'm not saying all men do ,there's some really successful men on the forum's .

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I'd love to be brave enough to post that I'm looking for a meet but the first, and last, time I did that I had about 75 messages but only a handful had read my profile and/or what I was looking for and quite a few got abusive when I declined to meet them. It was a disaster so I'll stick to the men who send me a good message (not just wanna f**k etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will reply to a message if I feel they’ve read my profile, and, after I’ve looked at theirs, there is some kind of common ground and I like the look of them, not trying to be shallow.

What I won’t entertain is the majority of what’s sent to me.

I will respond to those who do make an effort as I feel it’s only fair, just my opinion, and trust me the number is incredibly low.

But here for me is the problem. My profile clearly states I’m on a sabbatical but it’s amazing how many try and make you change your mind. That for me doesn’t bode well if we ever did meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask and you will receive

Don’t ask you don’t get

Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly this mate! Couldn't have said it any better myself.

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

The few times I am approached by a woman or couple they end up either not replying to my reply or most recently a woman messaged then blocked within about 2 mins. Presumably they hadn't bothered reading my profile until then & aren't into baldies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

If a guy clicked with a woman here or visa versa , great , if they don't , no harm , the most important thing for both is the fun is never taken out of things here , most important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a man - you go with the flow on here - chat, be true to yourself in who you are and I am sure there is someone you will connect with eventually.. have some nice pics up and a well thought out and written profile… it all adds up.

Just don’t be needy and pushy…

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

" Horniness affects cognitive performance. "

^^^ we have it in writing

... spring doesn't help either I suspect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

Bit lazy that opp. Let others do all the work whilst you sit back. Lol.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

As a woman, I find it hard to look for a man as the majority of pics I'm met with are dicks... That's not what I'm attracted to! Also, very few fill in their profiles, so I'll never know if we're looking for the same thing.

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

" Horniness affects cognitive performance.

^^^ we have it in writing

... spring doesn't help either I suspect

Definitely not when the summer dresses come out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There comes a point where sending first messages becomes fruitless; I don’t bother anymore. Same for dating sites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

I try to make it clear in my profile about my availability for meets and how I am happy to meet.

I will meet absolutely anyone on the site if I am able to.

I will never guarantee that I will have sex with anyone off this site. But I will meet and I will have a drink and chat with absolutely anyone.

I do not search for guys and ask them to meet me however. Cos if I just go out myself I always end up chatting to plenty of guys and girls anyway !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won."

I see what Youre saying here, but there's one big difference. None of us that "stopped buying tickets" are shocked (or in my case at least, even care) that we havent won.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won.

I see what Youre saying here, but there's one big difference. None of us that "stopped buying tickets" are shocked (or in my case at least, even care) that we havent won. "

Wait, you took this as a metaphor?

No, I am actually shocked I haven’t won the lottery even though I make no effort to win the lottery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won.

I see what Youre saying here, but there's one big difference. None of us that "stopped buying tickets" are shocked (or in my case at least, even care) that we havent won.

Wait, you took this as a metaphor?

No, I am actually shocked I haven’t won the lottery even though I make no effort to win the lottery. "

Yes I did - which it was.

And no, you aren't.

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By *ice But Very NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

This approach would only work if all men did the same. If you don't try but every other man does then you're a lot less likely to be picked. If all men sat back and waited it wouldn't be long before someone realised that being proactive suddenly got them a lot more attention and then everyone else would begin to copy until you're back where we are now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won.

I see what Youre saying here, but there's one big difference. None of us that "stopped buying tickets" are shocked (or in my case at least, even care) that we havent won.

Wait, you took this as a metaphor?

No, I am actually shocked I haven’t won the lottery even though I make no effort to win the lottery.

Yes I did - which it was.

And no, you aren't. "

Err yes, yes I am.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Ladies. Come and hunt me anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted.

Let me put my fox tail on

Kinky

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By *erverseintentionsMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

If at first you don't succeed ...try try and try again ...iv met some women that's taken me two/three years to crack ... Persistence is key. Shy kids get no sweets and if you don't, ask you don't get ...

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Take out

Wuu2

Fancy fun?

I’m near you 2pm Weds can I fuck you

Wanna watch me wank on Skype?

And the rest of that ilk and the amount of messages which stand a chance are relatively small.

This is true

..and then folk wonder why we end up doing the bulk-delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here for the banter, laughs, and whatever not in rush at all

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm too old for most ladies on here...I've had a word with my penis and he's settled for the most part in me looking at pics and videos roll on TOT

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

To be honest in my experience it's well worth bothering. I was a single male on here for a couple years before I was a couple. I mean you have to be realistic and understand Fab but I've had a fair few great meets, from not long after joining the site. And I even met Mrs Misfit due to one of those meets. But you do need to put effort in and be able to use your head. I doubt I would have been as successful if I sat back and did nothing. Most of my meets were from me making first contact (including the one with Mrs Misfit).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won.

I see what Youre saying here, but there's one big difference. None of us that "stopped buying tickets" are shocked (or in my case at least, even care) that we havent won.

Wait, you took this as a metaphor?

No, I am actually shocked I haven’t won the lottery even though I make no effort to win the lottery.

Yes I did - which it was.

And no, you aren't.

Err yes, yes I am.

Youre shocked you haven't won tbe lottery even though you make no effort to win the lottery. Ok then!

Give it up though fella, its obvious you're just trying to wind people up. Is it working? Maybe a little bit! But go ahead and have the last word though if you'd like (need) to. Have a smashing day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take this same approach with the lottery.

Stopped buying tickets and chasing it.

It can come to me.

I am also still shocked I’ve not won.

I see what Youre saying here, but there's one big difference. None of us that "stopped buying tickets" are shocked (or in my case at least, even care) that we havent won.

Wait, you took this as a metaphor?

No, I am actually shocked I haven’t won the lottery even though I make no effort to win the lottery.

Yes I did - which it was.

And no, you aren't.

Err yes, yes I am.

Youre shocked you haven't won tbe lottery even though you make no effort to win the lottery. Ok then!

Give it up though fella, its obvious you're just trying to wind people up. Is it working? Maybe a little bit! But go ahead and have the last word though if you'd like (need) to. Have a smashing day. "

Thanks for the permission to have the last word on my own post.

Do feel free to not reply in future chief.

Enjoy your afternoon.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

The best thing a guy can do on here is stop trying to use the site as it is intended. Most messages go unopened due to the sheer volume

Make a great profile and let women message you 1st

Go to social and clubs to meet new people

Stop wasting your time messaging on here. It’s literally pointless for most guys.

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By *m Normal OP Man
over a year ago

Telford

I'm the OP.

Thanks to all for your opinions.

A huge variety of opinions, a lot centre around the quality of profiles and opening messages, both of which, I assure you I do my best to keep high.

I used to be a website designer. It's not difficult to program this site, and I hope admin are looking at this, to make it easier to send appropriate accurate messages, and make profiles reflect the body types and personalities of individual. Over night admin can stop all dick pics as the profile icon, the same goes for gaping ousing fannies.

What I'm saying is, as individuals some of us do the best we can, yes I know lots don't, (are they mostly free members?) but those that put in the effort and pay the fees deserve better. Our problem is not the deficiency of the members is the lack of a website to install a filtering system that can modify the users behaviour.

I will continue, what I believe to be, a good, honest, truthful, respectful paid up member.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

My FWBs all approached me. Things wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t, simply because i don’t message guys. And I’m very glad they did.

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By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

Why bother? I'm quite picky and get enough action outside of fab. I'm on here because I'm a horny bugger and enjoy a lot of the banter. If something comes of that, then great.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Scenario: the man's profile is clean and reasonably well-written, devoid of any vulgarities and crass: tick

His public photographs are presentable and tasteful: tick

He's read the "bio": tick

He's aligns with most of the woman's criteria/requirements which serves as the impetus to write a message: tick

He's sent a polite, unique and handcrafted introductory message: tick

He's omitted the cock photograph: tick

The message remains unread for days/weeks.

It's a numbers game, pure and simple. It's about the law of averages and probability.

I seldom make first contact with anyone outside of these forums.

Women have it hard on here.

Men have it hard on here.

You'll find yourself running with the fox and chasing with the hounds.

The only solution is to persevere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess no matter how amazing the product, if you don't market it, no-one is aware you're selling it?

Having said that it is easy to just give up and be negative,but then you become unattractive in a buyers market.

The real world is so much better; just a shame you can't randomly tell people on a first date your kinky fetishism of poking pickled gherkins your Jacksie without fear of judgement

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By *uriouspair23Man
over a year ago

lewisham

It’s like fishing I guess ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Scenario: the man's profile is clean and reasonably well-written, devoid of any vulgarities and crass: tick

His public photographs are presentable and tasteful: tick

He's read the "bio": tick

He's aligns with most of the woman's criteria/requirements which serves as the impetus to write a message: tick

He's sent a polite, unique and handcrafted introductory message: tick

He's omitted the cock photograph: tick

The message remains unread for days/weeks.

It's a numbers game, pure and simple. It's about the law of averages and probability.

I seldom make first contact with anyone outside of these forums.

Women have it hard on here.

Men have it hard on here.

You'll find yourself running with the fox and chasing with the hounds.

The only solution is to persevere.

And sadly sometimes well written messages get missed or bull deleted

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Why do men bother?

Because I want to stick my penis in as many vagines as possible, and that my friend is just a numbers game.

I don’t actually give a fuck about the person, just another notch on my fuck stick!

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By *agicM53XMan
over a year ago

Orpington

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

You can only make decisions for yourself... I wish guys on fab would understand that they are worth more than just an option, more than just a guy fighting against hundreds of other guys for the attention of a woman...but that's not how most men operate, especially when they are horny...they just start to scroll through fab with their penis in their hand, sending the same message to all women they come across (" I am so fucking horny, fancy a meet?" - and of course attaching the dic pic to showcase the lady how horny they are)...the lack of self control and discipline of some men is rather pathetic (sorry, not sorry).

I made the conscious decision not to message first...it doesn't matter how attractive I am to a woman that comes across my profile, if I message first, I'm just another guy fighting for her attention (and my attractiveness will diminish simply because I message first- I understand that there will be many of you that disagree with this, however that's the conclusion I came to, based on my experience)

Not messaging first works for me...that doesn't mean it would work for others...

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By *uriouspair23Man
over a year ago

lewisham

I find there’s a stigma attached to people meeting on dating sites but people meeting while swinging. That’s a fun conversation when someone asks .... so how did you two meet hahah

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

I have been messaged twice by womenz then met.

it is not worth a mans while to wait, we are simply to many in number

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"It’s like fishing I guess ??"

Well then that very much leads us down the path of what type of rods and bait are being used?! ...and what you are trying to catch?!

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"It’s like fishing I guess ??

Well then that very much leads us down the path of what type of rods and bait are being used?! ...and what you are trying to catch?!

•

Cakes. Fish cakes to be precise.

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By *m Normal OP Man
over a year ago

Telford

"Scenario: the man's profile is clean and reasonably well-written, devoid of any vulgarities and crass: tick

His public photographs are presentable and tasteful: tick

He's read the "bio": tick

He's aligns with most of the woman's criteria/requirements which serves as the impetus to write a message: tick

He's sent a polite, unique and handcrafted introductory message: tick

He's omitted the cock photograph: tick

The message remains unread for days/weeks.

It's a numbers game, pure and simple. It's about the law of averages and probability.

I seldom make first contact with anyone outside of these forums.

Women have it hard on here.

Men have it hard on here.

You'll find yourself running with the fox and chasing with the hounds.

The only solution is to persevere.

If the majority, heaven forebid everyone, did as you list there would be substantial less messages, I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm a persistent stubborn git lol. The social aspect is a huge thing for me so to be fairfinding like minded people that can hold a decent conversation is more important to me than coming across as desperate or worse...rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree.

I prefer being the hunter not the hunted. "

Oooft

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't chase or hunt and if i thought someone was chasing or hunting me that would be a very short conversation.

I don't send messages and haven't done in more than 2 years.

Every conversation since has been initiated by others.

I prefer people to find me through the effort I've made in my profile and forum contributions.

That way it's easier to see if they are prepared to make an effort and chat as an equal rather than a number.

It doesn't prevent the one word introductions or lists of demands but it works for me.

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By *ubmissive guyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

If I was just on Fab, looking for a meet. I would of given up years ago. Hence the crap profile and no pics Im not looking for a shag. But something quite specific. But all I see when reading profiles and status messages is Couples looking for Bi guys to have sex with there male partner, while the Woman watches or guys must be at least 10 inches with girth.

Im not Bi and I dont have a 10 in cock, So its very rare I contact people for meets But there is just about enough on Fab to keep me interested, The forums, pics etc and theres something quite refreshing, after going through your FB messages logging into Fab and seeing the Fab status messages

it must be so frustrating, if you only use Fab, for meets it doesnt matter if your male or Female, although obviously for different reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As there is so many man. You're average non athletic average cocked bloke is just thinking there is a hench, hung fuck machine about to message the person you're talking to. But, I guess just trying to be chill about it works. We all have days where we get frustrated and think what's the Point. If that's the case, take a break, no point making yourself feel worthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As there is so many man. You're average non athletic average cocked bloke is just thinking there is a hench, hung fuck machine about to message the person you're talking to. But, I guess just trying to be chill about it works. We all have days where we get frustrated and think what's the Point. If that's the case, take a break, no point making yourself feel worthless. "

You're a good looking bloke and a human too!

Don't let the site make you feel worthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

frustrated and think what's the Point. If that's the case, take a break, no point making yourself feel worthless.

You're a good looking bloke and a human too!

Don't let the site make you feel worthless. "

I hope that was aimed at me Outsider. Lol

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Not everyone is looking for hench, hung fuck machines. But then if they are, good on them. I know our preferences preclude a lot of people that message us.

If people want a guaranteed shag, put your money where your mouth is and get yourself sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I wouldn't bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not everyone is looking for hench, hung fuck machines. But then if they are, good on them. I know our preferences preclude a lot of people that message us.

If people want a guaranteed shag, put your money where your mouth is and get yourself sorted."

Oh I know not everyone is, haha. If it was I'd still be a virgin. Haha

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By *ugsly95Man
over a year ago

Ashbourne

I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

frustrated and think what's the Point. If that's the case, take a break, no point making yourself feel worthless.

You're a good looking bloke and a human too!

Don't let the site make you feel worthless.

I hope that was aimed at me Outsider. Lol"

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be one of the few men that actually read the profiles. Typically however I rarely send a message usually because..

1. Im not VWD

2. I'm not Bi

3. I'm not Female

4. I live too far away

5. I know it will get lost in the masses.

Weirdly I have better luck with Gay guys than women despite it saying I'm not bi on my profile. I have had one semi conversation with a woman, at least I write a paragraph and she might respond with an average of 5 words. Still it's the thought that counts right?

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"It’s like fishing I guess ??

Well then that very much leads us down the path of what type of rods and bait are being used?! ...and what you are trying to catch?!

•

Cakes. Fish cakes to be precise.

Deep ... or shallow fried ... if you say grilled there will be bother!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s like fishing I guess ??

Well then that very much leads us down the path of what type of rods and bait are being used?! ...and what you are trying to catch?!

•

Cakes. Fish cakes to be precise.

Deep ... or shallow fried ... if you say grilled there will be bother!?

Poached, even worse than grilled or pickled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

frustrated and think what's the Point. If that's the case, take a break, no point making yourself feel worthless.

You're a good looking bloke and a human too!

Don't let the site make you feel worthless.

I hope that was aimed at me Outsider. Lol

Yes!

Aww. Thank you Outsider

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there "

Forget about other peoples messages, if the person wants to meet you they make an effort.

As such focus on what you can control, your profile, your photos, your messages, the persona you portray on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some men are happy to sit back and wait for messages and some are pro-active. I just wish some of the pro-active ones would learn to read a profile but sadly most seem controlled by their penis! x"

Not all men are controlled by their penis. Ladies get so many messages with there being 80% more men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We hear sob stories all the time about men asking for meetings and getting turned down on a regular basis.

What's your opinion?

Not messaging first works for me...that doesn't mean it would work for others..."

Well said, handsome

I for one am drawn to profiles that make clear what they want and that they don’t bombard women with generic messages.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there

As such focus on what you can control, your profile, your photos, your messages, the persona you portray on here."

•

It's a moot point. Whatever he may focus on becomes a futile effort. Because it will typically remain unread in the recipient's InBox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I haven't been in in ages, it's good to try the forums, as it's a bit more natural. Like being in a bar chatting. Imagine if you went into a bar, showed someone youre face and cock and asked 'How are you' lol

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Some men are happy to sit back and wait for messages and some are pro-active. I just wish some of the pro-active ones would learn to read a profile but sadly most seem controlled by their penis! x

Not all men are controlled by their penis. Ladies get so many messages with there being 80% more men"

I said most, not all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there

As such focus on what you can control, your profile, your photos, your messages, the persona you portray on here.

•

It's a moot point. Whatever he may focus on becomes a futile effort. Because it will typically remain unread in the recipient's InBox."

I disagree. I think we all have to focus on what WE can control. Having a good profile / photos etc means that if the message is read or you get chatting to someone in the forum - it's more likely the other person will be happy to continue. There are often times I get a good message but the profile lets them down and I decline. Or I like the look of someone in the forum but they have 16 pics of their dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there

As such focus on what you can control, your profile, your photos, your messages, the persona you portray on here.

•

It's a moot point. Whatever he may focus on becomes a futile effort. Because it will typically remain unread in the recipient's InBox.

They have 16 dicks? Ha ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To hunt or sit and wait seem like two extremes. Something in the middle involving discretion, personality, consideration and effort is where we go and get rid of those that don't match up of which there are many.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Although I haven't been in in ages, it's good to try the forums, as it's a bit more natural. Like being in a bar chatting. Imagine if you went into a bar, showed someone youre face and cock and asked 'How are you' lol"

•

I wouldn't say that's a wholly accurate analogy. The analogy would be to walk into a bar, get into the long and slow-moving queue of people leading to one specific person. The majority of those in the queue are standing there with their cocks hanging out but one or two are looking presentable and with honourable intentions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there

As such focus on what you can control, your profile, your photos, your messages, the persona you portray on here.

•

It's a moot point. Whatever he may focus on becomes a futile effort. Because it will typically remain unread in the recipient's InBox.

They have 16 dicks? Ha ha. "

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"I find it hard getting noticed by people, and due the shear amount of messages women in here receive on a daily basis, makes it harder, and it’s a shame for all us good guys out there

As such focus on what you can control, your profile, your photos, your messages, the persona you portray on here.

•

It's a moot point. Whatever he may focus on becomes a futile effort. Because it will typically remain unread in the recipient's InBox.

•

"if the message is read" - and therein lies the perceived frustration: the messages are rarely opened, let alone responded to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

•

It's a moot point. Whatever he may focus on becomes a futile effort. Because it will typically remain unread in the recipient's InBox.

They have 16 dicks? Ha ha.

Imagine cleaning the bathroom. Haha. Though it would be a more literal golden shower. Haha

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

At least two thirds of fab is single guys now, a large percentage of whom end up wasting peoples time. They do so let's not

Say they don't.

Out of the couples and women on the site who meet single guys, they have to work out who's legit, who isn't and have a large pool to draw from.

For the majority of sungle guys, it's going to be a an uphill struggled on here no matter what.

It's been discussed to death so many times on the forums.

Personally, I am of the opinion that if you are a legit single guy, you need to be going to socials and clubs if you want to stand out. Fab is just you and hundreds of other guys saying the same thing now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to Cex in Telford.

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