FabSwingers.com forum: Rate my joke please

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten pound's and the thick ones went for twenty pound's."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went

for a thousand pound's, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

At any given moment the urge to sing

"The lion sleeps tonight" is just a whim away....

a whim away,a whim away,a whim away...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

My neighbour knocked on my door today and said,

"I've just come back from holiday and everything in my bedside drawer has disappeared.

There's no sign of a break in and you're the only person with a spare key."

"So you automatically think it was me?" I asked.

"Yes." she replied, "I know it was you."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"You're holding my fucking dildo!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two women talking together, one says to the other, "Does your cunt sweat after sex?" the other says, "No he usually turns over and goes to sleep."

Wolf

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Sorry, it always tickles me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Sorry, it always tickles me "

Lol the simple ones are the best lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten pound's and the thick ones went for twenty pound's."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went

for a thousand pound's, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction.""
It gets a 6/10. Here's one - Dracula walks into a bar and asks for hot water. On handing him a cup, Dracula pulls out a tampon and dunks it in. Shocked the barman asks what he's doing? To which Dracula responds, "making tea!"...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Sorry, it always tickles me

Lol the simple ones are the best lol x"

They are indeed!

Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea ! Never fails to amuse me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get when you cross a rooster with M&M's? A cock that melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

Wolf

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two women talking together, one says to the other, "Does your cunt sweat after sex?" the other says, "No he usually turns over and goes to sleep."

Wolf

"
LMFAO!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife being the romantic sort, just sent me a text.............

If you are sleeping ......send me your dreams

If you are laughing .....send me your smile

If you are eating ..........send me a bite

If you are drinking ......send me a sip

If you are crying ...........send me your tears

I love you x

I replied........I am having a shit.What should I do?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two cows in a field one said "mooo"....the other said u fucker that's what I was about to say...

Why can't miss piggy count to 100?

Everytime she getss to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten pound's and the thick ones went for twenty pound's."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went

for a thousand pound's, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction.""
A bear was taking a shit in the woods just when a rabbit was hopping by. "Hey, do you have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?" asks the bear. "No" replies the rabbit, so the bear grabs him and wipes his ass!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Sorry, it always tickles me

Lol the simple ones are the best lol x

They are indeed!

Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea ! Never fails to amuse me

What lies at the bottom of the sea and trembles......

A nervous wreck.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm not saying my wife is ugly, but I always sit on my hand first before fingering her,

Just so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

My mate's wife was boasting that he'd never cheat on her because

"Why would he go out out for burger when he's got steak at home?".

I said "Steak?

He's got the whole fucking cow!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I saw a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning.

Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.

He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you."

"No problem." I smiled.

He looked at me again and said, "It's empty."

I said, "I know, it's meant to be a chimney."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bros favourite when he was younger..

Why did the snooker play go the toilet? To pot the brown.. Lol..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread