FabSwingers.com forum: What’s happening near you (local updates )

By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

Honestly some of the ridiculous updates make me laugh

One profile

“I’m back but not meeting till September “

Is it just me that thinks ….

Wanna be celebrity or something

“Who the fuck cares

”

You’re not a celebrity

Another one ….

“Anyone want my cock inside them ? “

Honestly does this actually work ?

Tell me what shenanigans are your local nutters posting the funnier the better

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

They are all horny and need sex now

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Some bird wants bukakke NOW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely duck all

BBC as usual

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Some bird wants bukakke NOW

Get a move on!

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

'who wants fuck gf in front of me bring sniff'

Sadly missed this last night

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Some bird wants bukakke NOW

Get a move on! "

I’ve nothing left in the tank

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Some bird wants bukakke NOW

Get a move on!

I’ve nothing left in the tank

Not your day is it. Have a smoothie & rehydrate, she may still be in need later.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"They are all horny and need sex now"

I say “fuck em “ “they can all get fucked”

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Some bird wants bukakke NOW

Do lidle do those frozen ones she could pick up ?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Absolutely duck all

BBC as usual

She obviously went black once

And she’s never looked back since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of guys are horny.

Shocking

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"'who wants fuck gf in front of me bring sniff'

Sadly missed this last night

Is “sniff urban slang for vix vapour rub ?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Lots of guys are horny.

Shocking"

Really ….

I’m not sure I believe you ….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a big cummer looking to unload

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

One lady wants a man-slag, another one can't wait for 7 hours to pass, and a forummer has posted a couple of nice photos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Somebody wondering why there isn’t a dislike button for pics.

Like, how harsh would that be?!

Another talking about how sore his wife is after a visit to a club.

Lovely …

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I've got a big cummer looking to unload

Fly tipping is costly if he gets caught let him know

Police are clamping down ! Hard !

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"'who wants fuck gf in front of me bring sniff'

Sadly missed this last night

Is “sniff urban slang for vix vapour rub ?

Yes, I believe it extends to tiger balm as well.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"One lady wants a man-slag, another one can't wait for 7 hours to pass, and a forummer has posted a couple of nice photos."

Slags of the male species …. Like unicorns aren’t they ?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Somebody wondering why there isn’t a dislike button for pics.

Like, how harsh would that be?!

Another talking about how sore his wife is after a visit to a club.

Lovely …

Does he not live with his wife ?

Or can’t he text her and ask her ?

Yes the dislike button would be awful might teach the poster of that status a few things about themselves though

#hometruthhurt

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"'who wants fuck gf in front of me bring sniff'

Sadly missed this last night

Is “sniff urban slang for vix vapour rub ?

Yes, I believe it extends to tiger balm as well. "

I’m down with the kids this hip hop urban language

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God guys can be so bitchy sometimes

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"God guys can be so bitchy sometimes

I only do it because I lack an exciting life

But thanks for pointing it out

I’ll try improve one day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Majority on mine are looking to meet….. boring really

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

One wants to know who going to suck him off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone needs their balls draining and wants a volunteer to do it.

Honestly, my ovaries were dancing the fandango when I read that

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By *iking67Man
over a year ago

BP Auckland

Most after fabs and messages on other apps and a few telling us they are not meeting basically the usual

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Majority on mine are looking to meet….. boring really

Same old same old ey

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"One wants to know who going to suck him off"

Used to love that game

Guess who …. (Will suck the cock edition)

Do you know ?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Someone needs their balls draining and wants a volunteer to do it.

Honestly, my ovaries were dancing the fandango when I read that

Bingo

Go get him girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Absolutely duck all

BBC as usual

She obviously went black once

And she’s never looked back since

Probably in Essex though path of the coarse lol

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Most after fabs and messages on other apps and a few telling us they are not meeting basically the usual "

I like the I’m not meeting ones

Usually from fabs finest

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Absolutely duck all

BBC as usual

She obviously went black once

And she’s never looked back since

Probably in Essex though path of the coarse lol

Is joey not out giving the ladies of Essex a reem time ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Absolutely duck all

BBC as usual

She obviously went black once

And she’s never looked back since

Probably in Essex though path of the coarse lol

Is joey not out giving the ladies of Essex a reem time ?

Naaaa

Neither is Gemma Collins

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Absolutely duck all

BBC as usual

She obviously went black once

And she’s never looked back since

Probably in Essex though path of the coarse lol

Is joey not out giving the ladies of Essex a reem time ?

Naaaa

Neither is Gemma Collins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of men strangling their dicks, lots of guys updating us on their whereabouts and work patterns so that the ladies know where and when they can be available, some bum holes and spread cheeks and lots of complaining about “rude women who don’t reply” and “too many fakes” (aka ladies who don’t want to meet them).

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

People are horny and looking to meet

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Some guy wants to go dogging in Caerphilly and wants couples and girls to join him.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Some guy wants to go dogging in Caerphilly and wants couples and girls to join him."

I hope he's caerphill about it.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Someone knows where the clowns are, using a parody of a song.

Another is looking for guys to go and strip for them. Oh fek no, not in that area of town. Sugar has been stolen out of cups of tea down there.

And believe it or not someone can't show their boaby as she is a woman.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"God guys can be so bitchy sometimes

I’ve just read your profile

“Don’t judge “

Sorry I’ve judged

I’ll not give you the verdict

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Lots of men strangling their dicks, lots of guys updating us on their whereabouts and work patterns so that the ladies know where and when they can be available, some bum holes and spread cheeks and lots of complaining about “rude women who don’t reply” and “too many fakes” (aka ladies who don’t want to meet them). "

How dare they not meet these charmers

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"People are horny and looking to meet"

I think that’s across the board

From down south to up north

Folks a fucking horny this weekend

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Some guy wants to go dogging in Caerphilly and wants couples and girls to join him."

Tell him

“I want never gets” “say please and you’re chances will double”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the message sent into my inbox - people seriously need to lighten up!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God guys can be so bitchy sometimes

I’ve just read your profile

“Don’t judge “

Sorry I’ve judged

I’ll not give you the verdict

You certainly got triggered little man!

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"For the message sent into my inbox - people seriously need to lighten up!!"

For telling me my reply was as you’d triggered something …

I was just politely telling you what I thought

your wife deserves much better

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Ooh I’ll just switch mine in and have a look…

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"God guys can be so bitchy sometimes

I’ve just read your profile

“Don’t judge “

Sorry I’ve judged

I’ll not give you the verdict

You certainly got triggered little man!"

You have indeed big man

My frustration with being called a bitch

Have a cracking weekend

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By *athyperkinsCouple
over a year ago

lifton

Someone doesn't think the site is for them. Ok....bye Felicia!! T

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Nothing much in our area.

It's mostly photos from verified people and wild claims from unverified ones.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Ooh I’ll just switch mine in and have a look…"

Oooh surprisingly only two penis pictures, a lot of face pictures and meet requests…99% of both are single guys.

Did someone send out a memo to single men to stop using dick pictures?! What a refreshing local up date list for a change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman joined 2 days ago, was verified a month ago, and has already met 8 men in person. How is any of this possible?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Someone doesn't think the site is for them. Ok....bye Felicia!! T"

Haha

Hope the door doesn’t hit them as they leave

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Nothing much in our area.

It's mostly photos from verified people and wild claims from unverified ones.

Ooo what are they claiming ?

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By *exy wife and her CuckCouple
over a year ago

Angus

Funniest one I've seen for a while, a guy who says "if you've been jabbed I'm not interested". Does he think you can catch something from someone who has had a covid injection?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

There’s been an update someone’s wife hasn’t had another man’s cock for a while …so wants him to find one for her …

To apply you have to send a face and dick picture or you’ll be blocked

Put my application in without the pictures

wonder how I’ll get on

I’ll keep my eyes crossed and hope for the best

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Funniest one I've seen for a while, a guy who says "if you've been jabbed I'm not interested". Does he think you can catch something from someone who has had a covid injection?

Just doesn’t want to be with anyone that’s had a little prick

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By *ogeropeMan
over a year ago

brighton

[Removed by poster at 19/03/22 22:12:59]

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

Apparently a sugar daddy/pay pig who’s looking to spoil.

A few people who are out tonight.

Lots of people looking to meet and can accommodate now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some new photos, some nice - some not. And someone wants big cocks to the front; I'd worry if they were on the back.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Apparently a sugar daddy/pay pig who’s looking to spoil.

A few people who are out tonight.

Lots of people looking to meet and can accommodate now. "

Haha I thought you wrote sugar daddy pepper pig

daddy pigs doing well for himself

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

Some guys at the Bingo Hall waiting for cock if you're interested

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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

To quote some near me

“Pussy feeling nice after service” did she take her car to a mechanic?

“Anyone” anyone what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone not long ago just got in bed after partying

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

Someone wanting bareback and another wanting self suckers

haha

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By *cttMan
over a year ago

hatfield & Cannock

"Some guys at the Bingo Hall waiting for cock if you're interested

Think you should call the bingo hall and make an announcement for him

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Some guys at the Bingo Hall waiting for cock if you're interested

Think you should call the bingo hall and make an announcement for him

"66 he's waiting for dicks"

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By *cttMan
over a year ago

hatfield & Cannock

"Some guys at the Bingo Hall waiting for cock if you're interested

Think you should call the bingo hall and make an announcement for him

"66 he's waiting for dicks""

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Some guys at the Bingo Hall waiting for cock if you're interested

Gala bingo should have a fetish night

They’d make some right dollar selling penis shaped sappers it would also make bingo a lot more interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Somebody is looking for a hot young nasty man to fuck her up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today selection include...

A man using a woman's profile, and another using insta pics

A guy offering his wife's ass for fucking

And a casual insult apparently its no wonder that some of us don't add face pics since we look like 'chewed toffee..

Make of that what you will...

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By *iking67Man
over a year ago

BP Auckland

Lots of unverified Fs and CPLs telling us they had amazing fuckery last night and a CPL where only the bi guy can meet and apparently have pics since they joined.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

The top of my feed is displaying a rather fetching photgraph of a large-bottomed lady bent over with a freshly filled condom draped artfully in her buttcrack.

Top marks for composition

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today selection include...

A man using a woman's profile, and another using insta pics

A guy offering his wife's ass for fucking

And a casual insult apparently its no wonder that some of us don't add face pics since we look like 'chewed toffee..

Make of that what you will...

Hahaha chewed toffee

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Lots of people with hangover horn today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

imagine if it were permanent pen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

imagine if it were permanent pen

I'd rather not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems the only thing going on around here is dogging!

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

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By *cttMan
over a year ago

hatfield & Cannock

Your all welcomed to mine for afternoon tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too"

Could you get some tots from Tesco?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

Could you get some tots from Tesco? "

Jelly tots?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

Could you get some tots from Tesco?

Jelly tots?"

I love those

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

Could you get some tots from Tesco?

Jelly tots?

I love those

What about Tooty Frootys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

Could you get some tots from Tesco?

Jelly tots?

I love those

What about Tooty Frootys?"

Hmm. Not so much. I had some giant shrimps and bananas yesterdays. Yum.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Someone is going to take their RV out for a "drive". I wonder if it is a code for something else!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

Could you get some tots from Tesco?

Jelly tots?

I love those

What about Tooty Frootys?

Hmm. Not so much. I had some giant shrimps and bananas yesterdays. Yum."

Foam ones are ace. Always get them in the pick and mix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guy offering to meet at the local woods so he can cum on her tots.

I had my shoes on ready to go, then I realised i made an error. I sadly didn’t have any tots.

Shame, he sounded lovely too

Could you get some tots from Tesco?

Jelly tots?

I love those

What about Tooty Frootys?

Hmm. Not so much. I had some giant shrimps and bananas yesterdays. Yum.

Foam ones are ace. Always get them in the pick and mix"

I've loved foam bananas all my life!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone is going to take their RV out for a "drive". I wonder if it is a code for something else!

YES - dogging!!

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Someone is going to take their RV out for a "drive". I wonder if it is a code for something else!

YES - dogging!!"

But they didn't mention taking any pets with them.

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Honestly some of the ridiculous updates make me laugh

One profile

“I’m back but not meeting till September “

Is it just me that thinks ….

Wanna be celebrity or something

“Who the fuck cares

”

You’re not a celebrity

Another one ….

“Anyone want my cock inside them ? “

Honestly does this actually work ?

Tell me what shenanigans are your local nutters posting the funnier the better

I think they act as a good filter as to who not to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone is going to take their RV out for a "drive". I wonder if it is a code for something else!

YES - dogging!!

But they didn't mention taking any pets with them.

No but they're after

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

Bob

Rob

Tom

Tim ….

Or are there big names as well ?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Somebody is looking for a hot young nasty man to fuck her up

Damn I’m just too nice for this position

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Someone is offering a no holes gangbang in a local forest

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Barred *

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Today selection include...

A man using a woman's profile, and another using insta pics

A guy offering his wife's ass for fucking

And a casual insult apparently its no wonder that some of us don't add face pics since we look like 'chewed toffee..

Make of that what you will...

Chewed toffee

Is that all that bad

I’d say more like “ a bulldog chewing a wasp “

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Lots of people with hangover horn today"

My locals are all pissheads and have hangover horn also

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Lots of people with hangover horn today

My locals are all pissheads and have hangover horn also

I once went for a night out in Barnsley ( I'm originally from Sheffield). We went in one pub, and a couple were shagging behind a curtain. All good, until the condom flew through the air and landed in my mates pint.

On same day invited by a woman back to her house in Athersley. When I enquired about the boyfriend sat beside her, she said he'd wait outside. I miss the 90s

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

Bob

Rob

Tom

Tim ….

Or are there big names as well ?

Cornelius?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Someone is offering a no holes gangbang in a local forest

I was going to say is this just hand jobs and footjobs

Sounds like a lot of work for the poor lass not much benefit for her either

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

Bob

Rob

Tom

Tim ….

Or are there big names as well ?

Cornelius?"

In marker pen?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

Bob

Rob

Tom

Tim ….

Or are there big names as well ?

Cornelius?

In marker pen?

Permanent sharpie

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Lots of people with hangover horn today

My locals are all pissheads and have hangover horn also

On same day invited by a woman back to her house in Athersley. When I enquired about the boyfriend sat beside her, she said he'd wait outside. I miss the 90s

Hmm ok

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Not looked, but it will be pics of a silhouette or cock wanting their load drained or similar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

Bob

Rob

Tom

Tim ….

Or are there big names as well ?

Cornelius?

In marker pen?

Yeah but not permanent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(.)(.) Oh wait that was me

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"(.)(.) Oh wait that was me"

What was ?

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By *herry OnatopWoman
over a year ago

Just over there

Traffic news, parties and holidays seems to be the theme in East Sussex tonight.

Cherry Onatop reporting. Back to the studio.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not much happening but the advert for fab at slimming world really seems to have worked going by the pictures.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Traffic news, parties and holidays seems to be the theme in East Sussex tonight.

Cherry Onatop reporting. Back to the studio. "

Thanks for the update

Back to the studio

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Not much happening but the advert for fab at slimming world really seems to have worked going by the pictures."

This won’t end well

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"There’s a guy who writes the names of the guy’s he’s met on his cock

Bob

Rob

Tom

Tim ….

Or are there big names as well ?

Cornelius?

In marker pen?

Was trying to think of the longest name I could

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Faux fighters at the red lion tonight....I wonder if he met anyone else there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People looking for dick.

People looking for vag.

Somebody offering a double BJ.

Somebody pole dancing.

Some moaning, some bragging, some attention seeking.

Pretty standard Sunday.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"People looking for dick.

People looking for vag.

Somebody offering a double BJ.

Somebody pole dancing.

Some moaning, some bragging, some attention seeking.

Pretty standard Sunday."

Same shit different day ey

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

Latest

“ Would anybody be interested i fucking j in the car while I film it”

No pictures of j

Is j real

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Latest

“ Would anybody be interested i fucking j in the car while I film it”

No pictures of j

Is j real

Oh and “ Just to let people know mr******** have Gonorrhea and they are not letting people know

Get me outta heeeeeeerrrrrreeeeeeeeeee

Back to the studio

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By *for2Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"'who wants fuck gf in front of me bring sniff'

Sadly missed this last night

Is “sniff urban slang for vix vapour rub ?

Yes, I believe it extends to tiger balm as well. "

Love tiger balm, great cure for headaches. But geez I wouldn't suggest it for fucking his gf. Could bring whole new meaning to being a screamer

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"'who wants fuck gf in front of me bring sniff'

Sadly missed this last night

Is “sniff urban slang for vix vapour rub ?

Yes, I believe it extends to tiger balm as well.

Love tiger balm, great cure for headaches. But geez I wouldn't suggest it for fucking his gf. Could bring whole new meaning to being a screamer

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Nice day"

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Someone is looking for a VWE guy for a specific scenario; someone got fucked over a car bonnet in the sun this morning; and someone posting videos of their latest bb gangbang…..

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By *iking67Man
over a year ago

BP Auckland

Lots of folk enjoying the sun being out or the sap is rising cos of the sun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

• Someone got a new toy in the post, I hope it’s a nerf gun

• Some gynaecology photos

• “You can always tell when someone is proud of their dick” I hope that’s about me

• Someone was reduced to a trembling orgasm, twice

• and most importantly, BOOBS!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not an update but I have just been approached by a man who joined a few hours ago, no pictures or anything else much, who wanted me to go meet him just so he could wank over me! Does this happen to anyone else?

I don't imagine that real women would find the idea terribly exciting either, although I suppose there will always be someone. Am I doing something wrong? I am all in favour of safe sex but watching long range masturbation seems pretty pointless!

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

- Someone looks like they might be getting covered in cum later

- Someone already has their feet covered in cum. (Hopefully they’re not out shopping)

- Someone seems to want a meet, based on barely decipherable text abbreviations, with someone who has a cock and a face. I think.

It’s all go here

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Mainly...Throbbing/Have a sack full/Ready to spurt/Anyone fancy some Ferry sex/ or I'm a panda and i don't know it types of updates !! and of course...Who wants a facefull ?? or going to the local car park ??

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

There is someone sending out a kiss because they are going to work. FFS get a grip.

Someone looked at me, a female And a couple, who feels like the dogs bollocks now.

Then there is a lady and a gentleman who are looking to go out at the weekend. I think they must have a very advanced vehicle as they want to go to a place where cars can park but it is up in the sky. Some sort of custard is being mentioned. It must be something French as it seems to be a pie of sorts. But the person or persons involved my have rather large courgettes.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

There's a lady, who's practicing safe sex........except that every picture of her vagina is full of cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve just had a look and it’s full of the usual dross.

My patience for anything other than the forum is seriously waning.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I’ve just had a look and it’s full of the usual dross.

My patience for anything other than the forum is seriously waning."

Keep the faith my friend

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By *arkcrystalMan
over a year ago

Bristol

The highlights -

My cock is full

Who wants cum

Happy days

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"I’ve just had a look and it’s full of the usual dross.

My patience for anything other than the forum is seriously waning.

Keep the faith my friend

I concur Fifey.

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

couples profile but only male looking to meet

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

There is a young lady trying out a new face moisturiser. She has just squeezed it out of a rather large winkie.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"There is a young lady trying out a new face moisturiser. She has just squeezed it out of a rather large winkie. "

.....looks on Nivea bottle for ingredients

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ranges from 'covid free' to someone complaining they're arse has collided with a quad bike whilst rounding up sheep

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"There is a young lady trying out a new face moisturiser. She has just squeezed it out of a rather large winkie.

.....looks on Nivea bottle for ingredients

It isn't just as brilliant white.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"There is a young lady trying out a new face moisturiser. She has just squeezed it out of a rather large winkie.

.....looks on Nivea bottle for ingredients

It isn't just as brilliant white.

It's not something I'd considered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're all horny as fuck or delusional, but temporarily incapacitated owing to a power cut that even indirectly brought mobile internet to its knees. They must be climbing the walls ....

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I've noticed a distinct increase in the number of "Male half available to meet alone" statuses in the last few weeks.

My immediate suspicion is that people have broken up, and the bloke is continuing to use the couples account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for loads of men.

Looking for vwe men

Looking for large men

women in Manchester are sounding a bit needy.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

An “old spunker” is hoping to “find some talent” in the week.

Someone else complaining it feels like winter not spring.

That’s it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

• Some lad looking to change from couples profile to single since his wife is no longer interested

• someone looking for someone in town, not sure why, no other explain given

• someone giving out their P4yp4l… not sure why

• Bi couple in Arbroath saying they can’t accom

• “Pussy is juicy”

• and someone hungry for a proper fuck.. I didn’t know they were edible

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Someone wants to get fit another wants to get fucked.

Someone counting down to the weekend already

Several enthusiastic amateur photographers.

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