FabSwingers.com forum: Boyfreinds lovers and the other woman or man

By *lder A Wiser Passion OP Woman
over a year ago

morecambe

Ok when is something affair and when it it not?

Ok when your seeing some one and when it is your not seeing them?

Fuck bud friends with benfits ok when you are married other half dont know about your seeing some one els fuck bud friends with benfits mistress sub or master or what ever When is it not affair and when is it affair

Cos I cant see a differeance my self

if you are seeing someone your seeing them what ever

Im going to open this and see what folk have to say

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

For me it's an affair when romantic feelings are involved. I'd rather my partner fucked someone than shared a romantic meal with them.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

We both play separately and we both know when the other plays separately and with whom.

In 25 years romantic feelings have never come into it and we've always openly communicated.

You see, it depends on what your perspective is. As far as we are concerned, we've built a life, family and home together. That is what is most important to us. Swinging is just something extra we enjoy.

It's obviously never happened but the second that communication and openness we have stops, then the swinging stops.

If feelings ever come into it (never have so far) then it stops.

I really cant explain it to you but we've been on the same page for 25 years. The idea of an "affair" is just...alien to us both at this point. Sure we can go hook up with others but it just wont compare to what we have with each other.

Objectively speaking, when we meet couples how's it different from when we both meet singles?

Like I said, 25 years. We know who and where we are with it and are fine. We get it if others dont think or feel like us but we are quite content and not worried about anything.

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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

For me it's when the openness and communication stops....if you feel the need to hide it from your partner then you know you're crossing a line xT

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We meet separately

For me if either of us arranged a secret meet or there was intent to hide anything from the other .

That's crossing the line.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’m with somebody and somebody else out their dick in them without my say so or I put my dick in somebody else without her say so then that to me is cheating.

Each to their own but I’m not one for all the meeting separately shenanigans.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

When you’ve communicated with each other on what your dynamic is and what your limits, boundaries and needs are from the dynamic.

Until you talk to each other you’ll never know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When either party start lying to their partner about other people.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Too complicated to even think about. I don’t have to luckily. If I’m having sex with someone I will just be having sex with them, whether it be fab, real life or whatever. I like an easy life

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

When you have to hide phones etc... When I've been in a relationship, my partner has always had access to it x

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By *agicM53XMan
over a year ago

Orpington

I use a very simplistic approach to it...an affair is when you have more than one sexual encounter with another person, but you are not exclusively dating...so it can be something casual, a fwb relationship, something that can lead to a relationship, you are in an open relationship with someone else, or you are cheating on someone...all of these are affairs. The word affair shouldn't be perceived as negative...the context of it might make it negative though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too complicated to even think about. I don’t have to luckily. If I’m having sex with someone I will just be having sex with them, whether it be fab, real life or whatever. I like an easy life

Pretty much this for me. Serial monogamy’s the word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No sex.

Less complications.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"I use a very simplistic approach to it...an affair is when you have more than one sexual encounter with another person, but you are not exclusively dating...so it can be something casual, a fwb relationship, something that can lead to a relationship, you are in an open relationship with someone else, or you are cheating on someone...all of these are affairs. The word affair shouldn't be perceived as negative...the context of it might make it negative though "

You're not wrong actually.

The very definition of "affair" in the dictionary is "a sexual relationship between two people, one or both of whom are married to someone else".

So technically speaking, if you are married, by swinging you are having affairs.

But this isn't really the reality of the situation as many swingers will see it. I assume many swingers would see the word "affair" as synonymous with "cheating". At least that's our experience over the years.

Way I see it is, if you're not doing anything behind your partners back, everything is open, communicated and all parties are happy with the situation, there's no issue and it's not worth worrying about. Thats what's worked for us for 25 years but we appreciate others are not us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you have to hide phones etc... When I've been in a relationship, my partner has always had access to it x"

But that's not compulsory, is it? Your choice to allow your partner access to your phone. I wouldn't but it doesn't mean I am cheating. I never have.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"When you have to hide phones etc... When I've been in a relationship, my partner has always had access to it x

But that's not compulsory, is it? Your choice to allow your partner access to your phone. I wouldn't but it doesn't mean I am cheating. I never have. "

I don't think it's compulsory. I think trust is when you leave your phone/diary/emails etc open or laying about in the knowledge that your partner wouldn't even think of looking at them. They trust you, you trust them.

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By *ungeon loving squirterCouple
over a year ago

redcar

When one of the parties doesn't know what the other is getting up to. If all agree it can't be cheating or an affair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The second your partner doesnt know about it.. it's an affair.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's an afair if your partner was unaware and didn't consent to you seeing/sleeping with other people.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"When you have to hide phones etc... When I've been in a relationship, my partner has always had access to it x

But that's not compulsory, is it? Your choice to allow your partner access to your phone. I wouldn't but it doesn't mean I am cheating. I never have. "

I didn't say it was compulsory. I simply used it as one of a thousand examples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you have to hide phones etc... When I've been in a relationship, my partner has always had access to it x

But that's not compulsory, is it? Your choice to allow your partner access to your phone. I wouldn't but it doesn't mean I am cheating. I never have.

I didn't say it was compulsory. I simply used it as one of a thousand examples."

I was just asking the question.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"When you have to hide phones etc... When I've been in a relationship, my partner has always had access to it x

But that's not compulsory, is it? Your choice to allow your partner access to your phone. I wouldn't but it doesn't mean I am cheating. I never have.

I didn't say it was compulsory. I simply used it as one of a thousand examples.

I was just asking the question. "

Answered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are sneaking around behind your partners back, secret phone calls, messages, secret hotel meets etc if your partner is unaware then that is cheating.If you are emotionally involved and again your partner knows nothing about it that is total betrayal..

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Anything that’s done sneakily behind your partners back is cheating.

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