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"I have cant be arsed to do alot so in bed , lol is that a sin .. Just cant get into the house work stuff and all that .. "Phew! Glad it isn't just me! | |||
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"... to save you trapsing down to church today, Father Ben has set up my confession box and will now hear your sins. Please form an orderly queue. " already been.... its like I have a season ticket for the confession box.... 
There are only so many people I can bribe with doughnuts... I have become a Krispy Kreme Pusher...... 
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"Forgive me Father for I have sinned... I have been known to have sex with men who's names I don't know and I lost count many months ago at how many men I'd had sex with... How many Hail Mary's for that or will a Bloody Mary suffice!?" 3 hail Marys 2 Bloody Marys and buy a decent diary, the Lord keeps tracks on your deviances and so should you  | |||
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"I have cant be arsed alot in bed" Lack of anal in the Catholic church is indeed a sin. 3 hail Marys and 2 hows your Fathers | |||
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"... to save you trapsing down to church today, Father Ben has set up my confession box and will now hear your sins. Please form an orderly queue. " Given the population on here - I suspect it would be more of a 'disorderly queue', with a spot of car park fun going on round the back, people getting tired of waiting for certain fabsters (who shall remain nameless!) to remember all their bad deeds from last night (let alone the last year)and buggering off to the pub - and the local hotels getting booked out as those earwigging confessions discover new friends with similar kinks and decide to pop somewhere more comfy to compare notes! So what time do we start! | |||
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in my defence, my ex should never have got her an Thorntons eggs! if it was kitkat egg it would of been safe, as i would of just had the chucky kitkat instead | |||
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"... to save you trapsing down to church today, Father Ben has set up my confession box and will now hear your sins. Please form an orderly queue. Given the population on here - I suspect it would be more of a 'disorderly queue', with a spot of car park fun going on round the back, people getting tired of waiting for certain fabsters (who shall remain nameless!) to remember all their bad deeds from last night (let alone the last year)and buggering off to the pub - and the local hotels getting booked out as those earwigging confessions discover new friends with similar kinks and decide to pop somewhere more comfy to compare notes! So what time do we start! "and where  | |||
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"... to save you trapsing down to church today, Father Ben has set up my confession box and will now hear your sins. Please form an orderly queue. already been.... its like I have a season ticket for the confession box....
There are only so many people I can bribe with doughnuts... I have become a Krispy Kreme Pusher......
"Ah krispy Kremes, the Lords food indeed, St Peter has asked for one near the Pearly Gates | |||
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"I used to knock one out over Lady Di when I was a kid. Well photo's of her, I loved her to bits. I could of chosen, Pammy Anderson, Kylie, Cat Deely but chose a Royal. This was over 20 years ago and stopped as soon as she died in that terrible accident" You dont need divine intervention, you need SpecSavers my son | |||
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"Forgive me Father for I have sinned... I have been known to have sex with men who's names I don't know and I lost count many months ago at how many men I'd had sex with... How many Hail Mary's for that or will a Bloody Mary suffice!?" Same here (with women) but I lost count long before I got into swinging! | |||
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"I used to knock one out over Lady Di when I was a kid. Well photo's of her, I loved her to bits. I could of chosen, Pammy Anderson, Kylie, Cat Deely but chose a Royal. This was over 20 years ago and stopped as soon as she died in that terrible accident You dont need divine intervention, you need SpecSavers my son" Not my fault, she was in every paper and every glossy mag going at the time. No one told me at the time it would damage ya eye sight. | |||
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"I devoured my daughters last Easter egg in a chocolate urge and said that the dog had ate it
in my defence, my ex should never have got her an Thorntons eggs! if it was kitkat egg it would of been safe, as i would of just had the chucky kitkat instead"Easter Eggs are paganistic ritual. I suggest you wear a hair shirt for the rest of the day until you find God | |||
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"I suggest you wear a hair shirt for the rest of the day until you find God "Where'd he go then? Is he lost?  | |||
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"I nicked, I mean I borrowed a couple of No Parking cones on my way home a couple of night ago "Why am I thinking that at some point you put them over your chest and pretended to be Madonna? | |||
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"I nicked, I mean I borrowed a couple of No Parking cones on my way home a couple of night ago
Why am I thinking that at some point you put them over your chest and pretended to be Madonna? " | |||
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"... to save you trapsing down to church today, Father Ben has set up my confession box and will now hear your sins. Please form an orderly queue. Given the population on here - I suspect it would be more of a 'disorderly queue', with a spot of car park fun going on round the back, people getting tired of waiting for certain fabsters (who shall remain nameless!) to remember all their bad deeds from last night (let alone the last year)and buggering off to the pub - and the local hotels getting booked out as those earwigging confessions discover new friends with similar kinks and decide to pop somewhere more comfy to compare notes! So what time do we start! "Cynacism and humour are not allowed in this church, begone with you and come back when you feel the Lords light on your back  | |||
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"I nicked, I mean I borrowed a couple of No Parking cones on my way home a couple of night ago "there is another forumite who is experiencing parking problems in another thread. Conate these to them and your sins will be absolved | |||
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"I used to knock one out over Lady Di when I was a kid. Well photo's of her, I loved her to bits. I could of chosen, Pammy Anderson, Kylie, Cat Deely but chose a Royal. This was over 20 years ago and stopped as soon as she died in that terrible accident You dont need divine intervention, you need SpecSavers my son Not my fault, she was in every paper and every glossy mag going at the time. No one told me at the time it would damage ya eye sight." If you fancied Diana prior to masturbating over the pictures, your eyesite was already, as the Holiness the Pope calls it, fucked! St Peter came to me one night whilst I was praying and told me about when the Queen Mum came to heaven. Princess Diana was hovering near the Pearly Gates as she arrived. 'Diana, where do I get an Angels halo like yours my dear?' asked the Queen mum. ' You silly old cow, its a steering wheel' replied Diana. | |||
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"I am pagan so it's pointless me saying my sins in here plus far too many over the years. I just wait for them to come back and bite me on the bum. oh well never mind "I have a Druid friend, who swears by paganistic bum biting | |||
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"I am pagan so it's pointless me saying my sins in here plus far too many over the years. I just wait for them to come back and bite me on the bum. oh well never mind
I have a Druid friend, who swears by paganistic bum biting "they say whatever u do in life comes back on u 10 fold. and I am so sorry but I cannot wait. I am ready to take my punishment. | |||
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"Father, I have sinned and I don't care if you forgive me or not. Had a bloody good time doing it and intend doing it again and again and again! "Pope Benedict? are you on here with a false profile again? The sinod has warned you about this in the past! | |||
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"Father, I have sinned and I don't care if you forgive me or not. Had a bloody good time doing it and intend doing it again and again and again!
Pope Benedict? are you on here with a false profile again? The sinod has warned you about this in the past!"I knew I should have gotten rid of that hat - I get confused with him so many times! | |||
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"I used to knock one out over Lady Di when I was a kid. Well photo's of her, I loved her to bits. I could of chosen, Pammy Anderson, Kylie, Cat Deely but chose a Royal. This was over 20 years ago and stopped as soon as she died in that terrible accident You dont need divine intervention, you need SpecSavers my son Not my fault, she was in every paper and every glossy mag going at the time. No one told me at the time it would damage ya eye sight. If you fancied Diana prior to masturbating over the pictures, your eyesite was already, as the Holiness the Pope calls it, fucked! St Peter came to me one night whilst I was praying and told me about when the Queen Mum came to heaven. Princess Diana was hovering near the Pearly Gates as she arrived. 'Diana, where do I get an Angels halo like yours my dear?' asked the Queen mum. ' You silly old cow, its a steering wheel' replied Diana. " My Tunnel Vision dosent help either | |||
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"... to save you trapsing down to church today, Father Ben has set up my confession box and will now hear your sins. Please form an orderly queue. already been.... its like I have a season ticket for the confession box....
There are only so many people I can bribe with doughnuts... I have become a Krispy Kreme Pusher......
"I'd forgive anything for a Krispy Kreme, shallow I know but hey its Krispy Kremes we are talking about lol | |||
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don't approve,
Not sure it's a sin to prey on hot young men anyway if its bad why does it feel so good lol | |||
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"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..... "It was so lovely meeting you last night - did we errr do it more than once? | |||
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"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..... It was so lovely meeting you last night - did we errr do it more than once? "Hey, theres a fine line between doing it more than once and holding someone down so they can't get away.... | |||
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"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..... It was so lovely meeting you last night - did we errr do it more than once?
Hey, theres a fine line between doing it more than once and holding someone down so they can't get away.... "Told you my shoes would not fit you...was those blisters that stopped you running, dint they... | |||
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"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..... "Hehe. Not in my case at the moment. I've hardly misbehaved in weeks. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I could confess masturbation and some impure thoughts. I've not even had any alcohol in weeks. No meets, no play. I may as well join a convent. | |||
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Just bear in mind that I will be returning the compliment in a very low cut outfit and some hellishly red lippy | |||
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"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.....
Hehe. Not in my case at the moment. I've hardly misbehaved in weeks.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I could confess masturbation and some impure thoughts. I've not even had any alcohol in weeks. No meets, no play. I may as well join a convent."Did not know that you have to confess to impure thoughts as well? THought it was only action that needed reporting? | |||
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"Hello from the dark side father. As my name hints I bat for the other team so won't be availing myself of your confessional. But if you wish to try yo save me you're welcome to try
Just bear in mind that I will be returning the compliment in a very low cut outfit and some hellishly red lippy "Dear Devil I am up for the challenge, fallen or not, you are still an Angel. In His eyes, you will always remain loved, but just gone of the rails. 300 Hail Marys and sit on the naughty step for 300 years. In the meantime give Adolf and Saddam a kick in the knackers for me Father Ben | |||
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"I haven't sinned for two weeks but here's hoping I have to sin tomorrow morning!!" Premeditated sin is the worst type. I have had a word with the BiG Fella upstairs and he assures me no sin will be commmitted as they are time wasters | |||
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"Hello from the dark side father. As my name hints I bat for the other team so won't be availing myself of your confessional. But if you wish to try yo save me you're welcome to try
Just bear in mind that I will be returning the compliment in a very low cut outfit and some hellishly red lippy
Dear Devil
I am up for the challenge, fallen or not, you are still an Angel. In His eyes, you will always remain loved, but just gone of the rails.
300 Hail Marys and sit on the naughty step for 300 years. In the meantime give Adolf and Saddam a kick in the knackers for me
Father Ben "Ahhhh sweetie! Bless. As if I'd actually pray to the opposition for forgiveness!
I have done nothing wrong. In fact, I haven't been doing enough wrong recently. If I'm not careful I'll get hauled over the coals soon!
Want to help me sort that out Father Ben? You can wear your cassock... | |||
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"I have no sins to confess. Well behaved, me "5 Hail Marys for fibbing on the Sabbath Father Ben PS. Nice tits | |||
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"Dear father, I haven't been to the gym all week and I had a slice of lemon cheesecake today. My diet has gone off the rails. " Gym's are the instruments of the Devil, you are absolved of all sin, just so long as you was the cheesecake down with Communion Wine Father Ben | |||
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"Father i have sinned many times , lots have been in a manner of revenge. One involved a toothbrush and a toilet. My most recent sin is having some terrible filthy thoughts about fellow forumites ... Actually that's not a sin is it, just my dirty mind "I have commited a few sins with a toothbrush myslef, His Holiness did not buy my story about wishing my inside to be as clean as my spiritual beliefs. He was also a little peeved about me doing it in the curch font. He gave me 10 Hail Marys, I would dearly love to give you 1 Father Ben | |||
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"When I was young I asked God for a bike, but I knew God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead....Boom'boom!!! "The Lord knows of this sin and has made sure you ladder your tights in retribution Father Ben | |||
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"Hello from the dark side father. As my name hints I bat for the other team so won't be availing myself of your confessional. But if you wish to try yo save me you're welcome to try
Just bear in mind that I will be returning the compliment in a very low cut outfit and some hellishly red lippy
Dear Devil
I am up for the challenge, fallen or not, you are still an Angel. In His eyes, you will always remain loved, but just gone of the rails.
300 Hail Marys and sit on the naughty step for 300 years. In the meantime give Adolf and Saddam a kick in the knackers for me
Father Ben
Ahhhh sweetie! Bless.
As if I'd actually pray to the opposition for forgiveness!
I have done nothing wrong. In fact, I haven't been doing enough wrong recently. If I'm not careful I'll get hauled over the coals soon!
Want to help me sort that out Father Ben? You can wear your cassock... "If it is for the greater God, I am compelled to rescue you my child. I will have to keep my collar on. Father Ben
PS Rosary beads make great anal beads, as long as you dont pop the His cross inside | |||
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"Sorry father but Im the kind of girl when I wake up in the morning and my feet hit the floor the devil says "Shes up" No hope for me "I would recommend carpet with a deeper pile to soften the acoustics | |||
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"Dear father, I haven't been to the gym all week and I had a slice of lemon cheesecake today. My diet has gone off the rails. Gym's are the instruments of the Devil, you are absolved of all sin, just so long as you was the cheesecake down with Communion Wine Father Ben "Does it make a difference that I went back for a second slice? | |||
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"I am pagan so it's pointless me saying my sins in here plus far too many over the years. I just wait for them to come back and bite me on the bum. oh well never mind " | |||
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