FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Insecurity and jealousy

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Stop swinging?

I don’t think people stop being jealous, they just learn to understand what potential triggers are and then how best to deal with their feelings.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just keep in mind it's only fun/play nothing more & move on to the next meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


" Just keep in mind it's only fun/play nothing more & move on to the next meet "

What she said ^^^^^

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont if i like her i piss all over her and get her to get a tattoo saying beware of the dog

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think they can tbh. Somewhere along the line it will surface.

We’ve witnessed it in clubs and once on a meet. Not pleasant.

Swinging and jealousy do not work.

Viv

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont if i like her i piss all over her and get her to get a tattoo saying beware of the dog"

Admire your style

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Swinging has never made me feel jealous fortunately.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont if i like her i piss all over her and get her to get a tattoo saying beware of the dog

Admire your style"

this is the way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve no idea. I couldn’t do it. Is it jealousy though, not wanting to see the person you love with someone else? I wouldn’t call it jealousy.

I’d call it pretty standard!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did a thread about this recently that I must go back to!

But I have felt feelings of many things in my poly life. Not jealous of any of my partners having other partners. Sometimes jealousy that they don’t want to spend as much time with me as they do with others. It’s difficult but I think it’s worth unpacking your feelings and being honest about them. Not asking someone to change their behaviour because of your feelings but maybe just acknowledge them and reassure you in some way? I’m no expert clearly but I think that’s what I would do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a really good article I was given a link to about polyamory and jealousy. It's a very interesting read. I know youre not talking about polyamory but the reason behind the jealousy in the article and how to deal with it are still applicable. Not sure if I can post it though.

PW

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://www.morethantwo.com/jealousypractice.html

Please delete if not allowed.

PW

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a really good article I was given a link to about polyamory and jealousy. It's a very interesting read. I know youre not talking about polyamory but the reason behind the jealousy in the article and how to deal with it are still applicable. Not sure if I can post it though.

PW "

Thanks for sharing it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t share my stuff.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I don't get jealous, truly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I've never felt any jealousy over physical actions, which is what I class swinging as...it's an enjoyable physical act. I wouldn't feel jealous about him playing tennis or going for a walk, so why would I feel jealous about him swinging?

Where I do feel jealousy though is with emotional attachment. Not family, friends etc, but romantic emotions...that's my line, I don't share romantic partners emotionally. That's where communication comes in. We talk about what we're both comfortable with, we're honest about how we're feeling, and we will continue to revisit the same discussions and check in with each other as we continue to explore this lifestyle together and experience different things, tweaking our agreed boundaries if we mutually agree that we should.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"I don't get jealous, truly "

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't get jealous, truly

This "

Well, the clue is in your name isn’t it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"I don't get jealous, truly

This

Well, the clue is in your name isn’t it? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

I guess jealousy is caused through lack of communication and therefore inadvertently overstepping boundaries?

One person feels neglected or pushed aside maybe??

I think the ultimate Q to ask yourself is 'do you want the other person to be happy' and then figure out how to do that without destroying what you have and with out making yourself unhappy... Its a balance

Discussing and setting boundaries definitely helps.. Periodically revisit them - did things change - why etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *incsguy247888Man
over a year ago

Spalding


"https://www.morethantwo.com/jealousypractice.html

Please delete if not allowed.

PW "

Thanks for the link, it was a very interesting read

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I've never been the jealous type since my very 1st relationship. To me jealousy partly stems from insecurities within!

- find your self worth

- know u cannot claim anyone for yourself. Its their choice if they want you & you only

- learn to let go. (Things don't workout, oh well & move on)

Those are just a few examples of how I deal with jealousy when it pokes its ugly head lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby StarCouple
over a year ago

Durham

I don't get jealousy. I once was part of group sex in a club when the wife got very jealous and stormed out of the room in tears. It was embarrassing. They should of stopped swinging there and then but I saw them in the club again a few weeks later. The woman ignored me and the husband gave me a lovely smile when the wife wasn't looking. It's really sad actually and it wasn't fair on me at all.

People like that shouldn't be swinging, end of.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In general I am a very jealous person, however when it came to swinging and swapping partners it never bothered me. I think you need to be very secure in a relationship to do it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined Fab with my then partner, it turned out to hat he was jealous of seeing me with another man. He never really got used to seeing me with the man of the couple especially as he was so self conscious being with another woman. One of the reasons why I eventually set up my own profile. Over the years I've seen couples argue and have split up over jealousy. It's never bothered me but if jealousy and feeling insecure then this lifestyle isn't for you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"I've never felt any jealousy over physical actions, which is what I class swinging as...it's an enjoyable physical act. I wouldn't feel jealous about him playing tennis or going for a walk, so why would I feel jealous about him swinging?

Where I do feel jealousy though is with emotional attachment. Not family, friends etc, but romantic emotions...that's my line, I don't share romantic partners emotionally. That's where communication comes in. We talk about what we're both comfortable with, we're honest about how we're feeling, and we will continue to revisit the same discussions and check in with each other as we continue to explore this lifestyle together and experience different things, tweaking our agreed boundaries if we mutually agree that we should. "

This is exactly the way we both feel ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a strange one.

If Dora was to flirt with a guy on a vanilla night out I’d be jealous probably but in a club or on fab it’s a turn on for me.

I think it has to do with consent and respect.

If it’s on a vanilla night out then the guy she’s flirting with wouldn’t know we’re swingers and so wouldn’t have any respect for me as my woman (in his eyes) needs a better man.

Also Dora has my consent to play and be admired as a Hotwife when we’re out out although of course she chooses to give me this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

I think that it's important to look at the trigger for any jealousy that you feel.

What is behind it; are you feeling insecure about your appearance, your sexual skills, are you wanting to try that new thing with him/her, has a boundary been crossed and you need to communicate that. (Obv those are just ideas of what could be behind it)

Then work out how to help manage those feelings - what can you do, and what can your partner do to support you in that

MJ x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve no idea. I couldn’t do it. Is it jealousy though, not wanting to see the person you love with someone else? I wouldn’t call it jealousy.

I’d call it pretty standard! "

This for me too! I know I couldn’t swing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, important to remember that not wanting to think about or see your partner with some neons else is perfectly valid. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lacking confidence or insecure, some people just don’t want to share their partner and that’s fine too!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its simple .. there is none never have been never will be .... i think theres no room for insecure or jealous people in swinging it just wont work especially if your a couple ... may seem ok in the short term but it will destroy you in the long run ... seen it so many times

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling


"Also, important to remember that not wanting to think about or see your partner with some neons else is perfectly valid. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lacking confidence or insecure, some people just don’t want to share their partner and that’s fine too! "

I think this is fine if there partner also doesn’t want to be shared, sometimes there is a pressure on one half to suppress themselves in order to keep the other half happy and that’s where cracks will appear. If both people communicate and are open and honest with each other about what works for them we learn to adapt, compromise it’s where complete change is expected from someone I find it never works and often leads the suppressed person to go behind the others back to fulfil needs they don’t get from there current partner. I’ve always found the concept of gaining everything you want or desire from one human difficult to comprehend, whilst I don’t wish to have sexual relations with multiple people a 2/3 person dynamic works for me and I’m forthright about this when meeting people regularly xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"https://www.morethantwo.com/jealousypractice.html

Please delete if not allowed.

PW "

That's a great article.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also, important to remember that not wanting to think about or see your partner with some neons else is perfectly valid. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lacking confidence or insecure, some people just don’t want to share their partner and that’s fine too! "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is a strange one.

If Dora was to flirt with a guy on a vanilla night out I’d be jealous probably but in a club or on fab it’s a turn on for me.

I think it has to do with consent and respect.

If it’s on a vanilla night out then the guy she’s flirting with wouldn’t know we’re swingers and so wouldn’t have any respect for me as my woman (in his eyes) needs a better man.

Also Dora has my consent to play and be admired as a Hotwife when we’re out out although of course she chooses to give me this. "

That makes sense to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

Hindsight, I wish I knew he was jealous, things would have been done differently. If only I knew. It might of saved a relationship.

I think jealousy and swinging do not mix.

Open conversations needed to be had before and during.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy and swinging are not bedroom buddy's. What you have got to ask is why is there jealous as it maybe some that can be worked out. But in most cases if there is jealous then swinging is not for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Also, important to remember that not wanting to think about or see your partner with some neons else is perfectly valid. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lacking confidence or insecure, some people just don’t want to share their partner and that’s fine too!

I think this is fine if there partner also doesn’t want to be shared, sometimes there is a pressure on one half to suppress themselves in order to keep the other half happy and that’s where cracks will appear. If both people communicate and are open and honest with each other about what works for them we learn to adapt, compromise it’s where complete change is expected from someone I find it never works and often leads the suppressed person to go behind the others back to fulfil needs they don’t get from there current partner. I’ve always found the concept of gaining everything you want or desire from one human difficult to comprehend, whilst I don’t wish to have sexual relations with multiple people a 2/3 person dynamic works for me and I’m forthright about this when meeting people regularly xx"

Agree with this, I can’t think of anything worse than someone suppressing themselves, not being true to themselves, to please another.

Open honest communication from the start is really important, also gives you an indication if you are on the same page or not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest with the parson that u meet and have fun as I find my busy life not got time for boyfriend

But then u never know if someone come along well u just come off the site no point in the green eye Monster lol play and unjoy the time u have with male or female

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anted by NightMan
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

I think the ultimate Q to ask yourself is 'do you want the other person to be happy' and then figure out how to do that without destroying what you have and with out making yourself unhappy... Its a balance "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

I think the ultimate Q to ask yourself is 'do you want the other person to be happy' and then figure out how to do that without destroying what you have and with out making yourself unhappy... Its a balance "

After many years of a sex less marriage I had a girlfriend who I had great uninhibited sex with and she "confessed" to me one night as we were watching mfm porn that she had always fancied a threesome but didn't have the courage to tell her previous partners. It was so refreshing to meet someone with such an health attitude to, enjoying the physical pleasure of sex that I did manage to arrange some mfm threesomes. And it felt wonderful seeing her sucking another guys cock and sucking our two cocks together. Even better seeing other guys cocks fucking her cunt and arse and seeing her really enjoying it. I was in no way jealous.. Quite the opposite it felt so loving to be able to help her maximise her sexuality. She told me she fantasized about being gangbanged as well but unfortunately we never did get around to that. Other non sexual circumstances intervened and we drifted apart and eventually split. But I still remember the incredibly warm loving feeling I felt during the threesomes. Probably the strongest feeling of love I've ever experienced.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

I'm going to say something some could view as controversial here OP .

they don't get jealous because there getting there own needs meet through the acts they are up to . i think people only get jealous when there not getting what they want when others are . controversial maybe but i really do believe its that simple.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I get a prang sometimes and I know My Girl does. It's perfectly human and think even the best of us occasionally get a prang. For me my best tool to overcome it is logic. I take a step back and remind myself how secure we are together, that there genuinely is nothing to fear and how awesome this freedom is for both of us. Normally melts quickly way. Also we are very open with each other and our feeling. So if needs be with talk it through and send it packing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thrive on mixed emotions.

For example, when Mrs was living out her fantasy of picking up a guy in nightclub.

When she messaged to say she's found the one and it's happening, the rush of almost fear and lustful urges was rather very exciting.

I feel though that I don't particularly suffer with jealousy, and rather feel envy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just look at things differently. I feel a little jealous…I sit. Breath. Have a think about who the person is and if I think they are doing it to make me jealous. If not, I get over it.

If I think they are, I would talk to them. And then if I still think they are I move on from any friendship we had.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"I don’t share my stuff. "

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"I thrive on mixed emotions.

For example, when Mrs was living out her fantasy of picking up a guy in nightclub.

When she messaged to say she's found the one and it's happening, the rush of almost fear and lustful urges was rather very exciting.

I feel though that I don't particularly suffer with jealousy, and rather feel envy. "

That resonates. Especially the envy rather than jealousy. I confess sometimes there is something selfish inside me. For example when I can't make a night out, party or club night but My Girl can. On one hand I'm really excited for her and want her to fill her boots. On the other hand I really hate missing out sharing that with her.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then"

Much. I don’t get why people linger around in a swinging site with this reply.

Do they try to steal other peoples stuff?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then"

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

To me jealousy isn’t about the other person, it comes from an insecurity within the person feeling it.

It’s the fear of losing that person, them finding someone better or feelings of being replaced.

Jealousy is often expressed outwardly, that it’s the other person’s actions causing it, in reality it’s fear and insecurity or a desire to ‘have’ that person alone.

I find that it’s important to reframe those feelings and understand where the insecurity comes from, why the jealousy is present and remember that they’re their own person, free to make choices and not anyone’s to possess.

Jealousy is a toxic thing in any situation, even more so when it’s used as a tool to express commitment and can be very destructive in situations on here.

I think that jealousy is a personal issue to be dealt with, not to be aimed at others, someone else’s problem to solve or used as a way to control someone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site "

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Is it jealousy or emotional insecurity?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ? "

You could have my last rolo though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

You could have my last rolo though "

Don’t you want me to pop it in your mouth instead?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

You could have my last rolo though

Don’t you want me to pop it in your mouth instead? "

Before or after you’ve eaten the rolo?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

I compartmentalise, every thought and feeling has it's own little box in my brain

So swinging has a box.

Real life has a box etc.

Making things more easy for me to deal with my life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

You could have my last rolo though

Don’t you want me to pop it in your mouth instead?

Before or after you’ve eaten the rolo?"

I’ll grab your coat for you…..

I don’t need mine, I’m feeling a little hot around the collar..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

You could have my last rolo though

Don’t you want me to pop it in your mouth instead?

Before or after you’ve eaten the rolo?

I’ll grab your coat for you…..

I don’t need mine, I’m feeling a little hot around the collar.. "

Coat! I’m northern. It’s May!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

I compartmentalise, every thought and feeling has it's own little box in my brain

So swinging has a box.

Real life has a box etc.

Making things more easy for me to deal with my life

"

I've got to be honest, I thought everyone did this to keep themselves sane and I'm not just talking about swinging but as a way to concentrate on what need to be done at anyone time without letting other problems or tasks interfere with what you are doing or needing to do .

I was genuinely surprised to find out a good few years ago that this was not the case .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

I stay single for a reason … no jealousy …. No drama … even though I would like to have someone, I don’t want drama and jealousy to get in the way …. I know vicious circle …

Unless you meet someone who thinks like you, maybe then it could work …

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

You could have my last rolo though

Don’t you want me to pop it in your mouth instead?

Before or after you’ve eaten the rolo?

I’ll grab your coat for you…..

I don’t need mine, I’m feeling a little hot around the collar..

Coat! I’m northern. It’s May! "

my geography is so bad.

And there I was ready to go south of the border … ….

Nora. Stop it!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don’t share my stuff.

Maybe you're on the wrong site then

Nah. I don’t either and I’m quite happy with the site

Are you saying you’ve got stuff you’re not sharing ?

You could have my last rolo though

Don’t you want me to pop it in your mouth instead?

Before or after you’ve eaten the rolo?

I’ll grab your coat for you…..

I don’t need mine, I’m feeling a little hot around the collar..

Coat! I’m northern. It’s May!

my geography is so bad.

And there I was ready to go south of the border … ….

Nora. Stop it!!!!"

. Your geography is fine. I’m a northerner daaaaan saaaaarf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

Think it depends on the relationship you have…

But I don’t share my toys either and this works for me!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel

Jealousy isn't an issue we have. To us, it's a physical act that we do with others. It's something we both enjoy and is just an extra, it's not really part of our 'real life', it's almost fantasy life so doesn't impact our 'real life' in any negative way.

If we thought that one of us was feeling the emotions for someone else that we feel between ourselves then that would be an issue but we know that won't ever happen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jealousy isn't an issue we have. To us, it's a physical act that we do with others. It's something we both enjoy and is just an extra, it's not really part of our 'real life', it's almost fantasy life so doesn't impact our 'real life' in any negative way.

If we thought that one of us was feeling the emotions for someone else that we feel between ourselves then that would be an issue but we know that won't ever happen. "

Sound like you compartmentalise swinging away from your normal life and leave it there after play untill it's time to play again . I do a simular thing as I find it's the only way you can stay sane and balanced in your normal life away from the fun .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urvytreatWoman
over a year ago

somewhere nice

We separate it. So us, as our normal selves have a very strong and honest marriage and we keep that side of us separate. It’s our alter ego’s _urvytreat and guy pierced who swing.

As we about to get married we stepped away as I was getting very jealous. We dipped our toes in afterwards and it took me a while to be ok.

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel


"Jealousy isn't an issue we have. To us, it's a physical act that we do with others. It's something we both enjoy and is just an extra, it's not really part of our 'real life', it's almost fantasy life so doesn't impact our 'real life' in any negative way.

If we thought that one of us was feeling the emotions for someone else that we feel between ourselves then that would be an issue but we know that won't ever happen.

Sound like you compartmentalise swinging away from your normal life and leave it there after play untill it's time to play again . I do a simular thing as I find it's the only way you can stay sane and balanced in your normal life away from the fun ."

Yes that's a good way of putting it actually.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anted by NightMan
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"I don't get jealousy. I once was part of group sex in a club when the wife got very jealous and stormed out of the room in tears. It was embarrassing. They should of stopped swinging there and then but I saw them in the club again a few weeks later. The woman ignored me and the husband gave me a lovely smile when the wife wasn't looking. It's really sad actually and it wasn't fair on me at all.

People like that shouldn't be swinging, end of."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Compersion

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It's something I can honestly say I've not felt in swinging

I like my other half having meets and seeing him with other women.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

If one is jealous, not sure swinging is going to help. Unless youre one of those "face your fears" types.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never been the jealous type since my very 1st relationship. To me jealousy partly stems from insecurities within!

- find your self worth

- know u cannot claim anyone for yourself. Its their choice if they want you & you only

- learn to let go. (Things don't workout, oh well & move on)

Those are just a few examples of how I deal with jealousy when it pokes its ugly head lol "

Well, going by the above, you have said you don't get jealous but then said what you do to deal with your feelings of jealousy....

I'm confused

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get jealous, there are more attractive women out there, that's a fact of life. I find other men attractive, my partner finds other women attractive, we both know this doesn't affect our love and respect for each other. If I had to worry about a partner running off with someone, then he's someone I'd be better off without, no?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I love the Chase of the fun play u just got to remember this is a play site not a date site As I have been told some women and men do meet and end up as couples good on them but I do have friends with benefits.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anted by NightMan
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

If boundaries and limits are drawn and respected then this shouldn’t be an issue. Once one start to step outside these then it’s natural to get jealous feelings.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

Me and my partner are very secure in our relationship and we trust each other completely. We're also very open with each other and can talk to each about anything.

There's nothing in the swinging world that can unsettle that so there's nothing to be jealous about. I'm happy for her to go and enjoy herself and she feels the same about me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I don't do jealousy... Either way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
over a year ago

West Suffolk

Mr doesn’t go with other woman and I don’t play with others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Keep it locked in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discuss what may be a trigger or specific things that have made you feel insecure and avoid those situations.

Dora can’t stand the thought of me even thinking of another woman.

I’ve seen her spit roasted without a hint of jealousy yet I got all touchy once when she affectionately stroked a guys leg.

You can never tell.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am pretty feral in my ownership kink. But I'll keep that locked down tight unless and until my guy agreed to the exclusivity of both of us.

I can police myself just fine and compromise where it's warranted.

But I'll just walk if my needs are not being met or respected equally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Discuss what may be a trigger or specific things that have made you feel insecure and avoid those situations.

Dora can’t stand the thought of me even thinking of another woman.

I’ve seen her spit roasted without a hint of jealousy yet I got all touchy once when she affectionately stroked a guys leg.

You can never tell. "

Same.. For me it's nothing sexual at all. It's the more intimate stuff. Happened to me once but once I'd processed it... It made everything so much more intense... Quickened the pulse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ab FunstersCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Your connection is just between the two of you, that doesn't change..the people you choose to engage with enhance that.Sex with anyone else is just sex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ab FunstersCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

I compartmentalise, every thought and feeling has it's own little box in my brain

So swinging has a box.

Real life has a box etc.

Making things more easy for me to deal with my life

"

I use this method also..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy happens, it's normal but when that jealousy becomes toxic it's time to call it a day. Swinging only works when you are secure in yourself and your relationship.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlemissmistressKCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Interestingly I'm not in the least bit jealous of my husband's poly relationship but when my ( not currently) Fwb started playing with someone I was horribly jealous!! Weird lol...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remove yourself from the situation and cut your losses if you can't control how you're feeling.

I think a little bit of jealousy is normal sometimes, but if you're only going to end up hurt you need to call it a day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try not to catch the feels. Easier said than done.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Can't say I've ever felt jealous. Probably because I don't feel I "own" anyone. I've seen and been with Mrs DS and with others, and was happy to see her explore her sexuality without fear or repercussions.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think jealousy comes from lack of acceptance of someone, in which case people shouldn't be doing this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

Above all things you're a team. Talk to eachother. If necessary and it can't be resolved... Stop.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

I'm going to say something some could view as controversial here OP .

they don't get jealous because there getting there own needs meet through the acts they are up to . i think people only get jealous when there not getting what they want when others are . controversial maybe but i really do believe its that simple. "

we met a couple at a party and after a short time it became obvious that they were only interested in sandy, I got jealous and felt left out and forced us to change what we looked for .all is good now after a good chat Dan

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

"

with difficulty

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"How do people control their jealousy when swinging?

with difficulty "

Yep, although it partly depends of the personalities and mindsets of the individuals in that relationship.

The best way is communication and complete openness to each other on how you feel and what you want (as an individual as well as a couple). It's hard sometimes but that exposure, openness and mutual understanding brings you closer as a couple. I think it's a vehicle that brings many swinging couples far closer together than many vanilla couples. Because it really doesn't work unless you can truly be open and understand each others inner workings. So swinging can be hard in a relationship but as long as its benefits and enjoyment outweigh the work and difficulties then you keep doing it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

NG 21

If you get jealous when your swinging, we'll swinging ain't for you. It really is as simple as that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top