FabSwingers.com forum: Men, do you mentally compartmentalise

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Would that make you compartmentalise her, meaning once you got that imprint, you will never see her as potential girlfriend material/wife material? So you would discard her because she showed you a side that made you go “nah, not a potential wifey”

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

I sometimes do feel like I’m bound to be the other woman forever… I know I know, what do I expect from fab and for being a bit of a promiscuous girl (least I’m honest), but it makes me wonder if there are some that are seen as “wifeys” and others as “the other women”

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What we seek from a wife will vary by man

So don't see yourself as always being 'the other woman' (unless it suits you to at any given time)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Sadly yes.

Is it mean? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes

But I don’t have time in this tiny short window of existence to figure people out multiple times. Once I’ve got an impression of you, it sticks.

It sucks but that’s life. It’s different if we have a prior relationship like friends, family etc

But if I meet someone and deem they are an “X”, they are gonna be X in my mind forever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I do compartmentalise. But not in this way. I'm not looking for long term. But not because women here are open about sex.

I truly think most relationships would be better if people could be more liberated about having sex with others. So that wouldn't be a sticking point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sadly yes.

Is it mean? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes

But I don’t have time in this tiny short window of existence to figure people out multiple times. Once I’ve got an impression of you, it sticks.

It sucks but that’s life. It’s different if we have a prior relationship like friends, family etc

But if I meet someone and deem they are an “X”, they are gonna be X in my mind forever "

Fair, so in your mind, once you put them in that box, there’s nothing that will make you think “oh actually, maybe just maybe”

Cos it’s like there’s a stain that remains?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What we seek from a wife will vary by man

So don't see yourself as always being 'the other woman' (unless it suits you to at any given time) "

I can imagine, but I have this general idea that a lot seek a certain type of woman and not another type of woman.

But maybe I’m completely wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Sadly yes.

Is it mean? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes

But I don’t have time in this tiny short window of existence to figure people out multiple times. Once I’ve got an impression of you, it sticks.

It sucks but that’s life. It’s different if we have a prior relationship like friends, family etc

But if I meet someone and deem they are an “X”, they are gonna be X in my mind forever

Fair, so in your mind, once you put them in that box, there’s nothing that will make you think “oh actually, maybe just maybe”

Cos it’s like there’s a stain that remains? "

Yeah. And it’s not a nasty thing. It’s not “your an X and I don’t like X so your an X forever!!!”

It’s just like, you show me your an X, I don’t want that, I’m not gonna investigate further. You showed me your hand, there’s 7 billion other hands out there. I’ll go find one that isn’t an X

Whatever your X might be that you do/don’t want

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the words of Queen Dolly...

Now a man will take a good girl

And he'll ruin her reputation

But when he wants to marry

Well, that's a different situation

He'll just walk off and leave her

To do the best she can

While he looks for an angel

To wear his wedding band

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I do compartmentalise. But not in this way. I'm not looking for long term. But not because women here are open about sex.

I truly think most relationships would be better if people could be more liberated about having sex with others. So that wouldn't be a sticking point. "

What way do you compartmentalise if you don't mind me asking? I find this kind of topic really interesting, thanks for asking it Kylie.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Yes, I do compartmentalise, and there are definitely women who will always be in the "friend zone", even if I find them attractive, but that's not based on their "reputation" or anything like that - that wouldn't be a factor for me personally if I really liked someone and wanted to take it further...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the words of Queen Dolly...

Now a man will take a good girl

And he'll ruin her reputation

But when he wants to marry

Well, that's a different situation

He'll just walk off and leave her

To do the best she can

While he looks for an angel

To wear his wedding band

That’s what I kind of mean tho, are some men into this idea of

“She’s an Angel so she’s marriage worthy”

Cos I haven’t seen a total wild side on the sexual front (that maybe she used to be promiscuous)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I do compartmentalise. But not in this way. I'm not looking for long term. But not because women here are open about sex.

I truly think most relationships would be better if people could be more liberated about having sex with others. So that wouldn't be a sticking point.

What way do you compartmentalise if you don't mind me asking? I find this kind of topic really interesting, thanks for asking it Kylie.

Me too. She asks some good questions does our Kylie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I do yes. I know it sounds wrong to compartmentalise as it's like you're instantly judging them on something. It's probably more a defence mechanism to avoid any potential future hurt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do yes. I know it sounds wrong to compartmentalise as it's like you're instantly judging them on something. It's probably more a defence mechanism to avoid any potential future hurt. "

But then this sort of reinforces the fact that some women are cut out to be wives and actual “good girls” and others not so much , for a reason or another?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do compartmentalise. But not in this way. I'm not looking for long term. But not because women here are open about sex.

I truly think most relationships would be better if people could be more liberated about having sex with others. So that wouldn't be a sticking point.

What way do you compartmentalise if you don't mind me asking? I find this kind of topic really interesting, thanks for asking it Kylie.

Me too. She asks some good questions does our Kylie

*hair flicks* she got a point

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't connect with anyone properly again so most anyone ever is is someone friendly if you let people in close in the end you lose you either lose touch they abandon you or they die iv spent the last couple years building a fort and nobody is invited as there is no drawbridge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

I think I have a more open perspective on modern relationships. I think that if you love and respect someone, then you'll set them free.

I'll be honest though. I don't think too hard on possible future outcomes when I meet people. Life is fleeting and our time with others even more so. I wouldn't say I compartmentalise anyone on first impressions unless they're particularly obnoxious and arrogant.

Relationships with people change as you grow. Sometimes lovers end up as just friends and just friends as lovers. It's a strange old world and I think it's important to let yourself ebb and flow with the tide.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I do yes. I know it sounds wrong to compartmentalise as it's like you're instantly judging them on something. It's probably more a defence mechanism to avoid any potential future hurt.

But then this sort of reinforces the fact that some women are cut out to be wives and actual “good girls” and others not so much , for a reason or another?

I guess that can also depend on whether you're purely looking at it from a fab perspective or not as it may just not be the whole sexual partners thing. Do you compartmentalise men on here sometimes too?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the words of Queen Dolly...

Now a man will take a good girl

And he'll ruin her reputation

But when he wants to marry

Well, that's a different situation

He'll just walk off and leave her

To do the best she can

While he looks for an angel

To wear his wedding band

That’s what I kind of mean tho, are some men into this idea of

“She’s an Angel so she’s marriage worthy”

Cos I haven’t seen a total wild side on the sexual front (that maybe she used to be promiscuous)

Honestly, I don't ever see myself as being capable of monogamy

I gave it a fkin good try for many years and was successful in doing so

That said, when I was free to set my stall out again, I did so with the intention of being honest with future partners about any coupling being flexible

So, against that background, why would I expect (or even want) an angel?

I want someone who can express themselves sexually and do so without fear of rocking a relationship

Sex is just one facet of a relationship and if I have that emotional bond and trust, I don't expect nor need sexual fidelity

I guess what I'm saying Kylie is people change, their priorities change, their wants and needs change

You're still a young un to me and move in circles with others around your age

I was in my mid 30's when I stopped trying to fit into boxes and settled into what works for me

You will find your own guy that thinks like that too, that embraces you for you, that completes you and you him

Your time isn't running out, it's only just kicking off x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

I am not looking for any kind of ltr now but I might be at that state at some point. And when I am there I’ll be looking for experienced very openminded lady so that will be a plus and a bonus not a stigma.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Very much so, what you look for in a girlfriend is very different from what you want for nsa fun , not in a negative way, just very different things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do yes. I know it sounds wrong to compartmentalise as it's like you're instantly judging them on something. It's probably more a defence mechanism to avoid any potential future hurt.

But then this sort of reinforces the fact that some women are cut out to be wives and actual “good girls” and others not so much , for a reason or another?

No I don’t ever compartmentalise men, I guess some I may refer to as fuck boys because of their behaviours. But I’ve had ex bfs who were total fuck boys so …

Obviously maybe if I’m seeing a guy who was promiscuous, maybe it’d be the back of my head if he’d be able to be faithful? But it wouldn’t make me think.. oh u aren’t bf material then

I don’t know maybe my brain works weird

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I do yes. I know it sounds wrong to compartmentalise as it's like you're instantly judging them on something. It's probably more a defence mechanism to avoid any potential future hurt.

But then this sort of reinforces the fact that some women are cut out to be wives and actual “good girls” and others not so much , for a reason or another?

No I don’t ever compartmentalise men, I guess some I may refer to as fuck boys because of their behaviours. But I’ve had ex bfs who were total fuck boys so …

Obviously maybe if I’m seeing a guy who was promiscuous, maybe it’d be the back of my head if he’d be able to be faithful? But it wouldn’t make me think.. oh u aren’t bf material then

I don’t know maybe my brain works weird "

Nope, you're brain is wired fine. Some of It probably stems from previous relationships people have had, which has made them a bit more wary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I do compartmentalise. But not in this way. I'm not looking for long term. But not because women here are open about sex.

I truly think most relationships would be better if people could be more liberated about having sex with others. So that wouldn't be a sticking point.

What way do you compartmentalise if you don't mind me asking? I find this kind of topic really interesting, thanks for asking it Kylie.

Me too. She asks some good questions does our Kylie

*hair flicks* she got a point

With everything really. When I'm not in work, I don't think about work. It's in its compartment. If something bad happens, I don't think about it until it needs to be dealt with, a funeral for instance. I don't fret and worry about things because I stick them in a mental box until I'm ready or have to deal with them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *appycouple300Couple
over a year ago

North Dorset

"Sadly yes.

Is it mean? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes

But I don’t have time in this tiny short window of existence to figure people out multiple times. Once I’ve got an impression of you, it sticks.

It sucks but that’s life. It’s different if we have a prior relationship like friends, family etc

But if I meet someone and deem they are an “X”, they are gonna be X in my mind forever "

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *altenkommandoMan
over a year ago

milton keynes

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

I don’t think “reputation” is the issue, more that innate sling of whether you will gel together in emirs of your wants and needs.

The other thing is you get what you look for, and to some extent perhaps you have to decide you want to be a “wife” rather than promiscuous, which to an extent is always a bit self serving, whereas marriage, in whatever guise, has to involve compromise.

Perhaps the extent to which you are always the other woman is down to putting yourself in that position and prioritising where you get sex over where and how you are loved. Maybe the thing is to work out who you are long before working out men from a variety of generalisations or asking on a forum?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

"
well it’s a hookup for sex site isn’t it ? Free hookers in shit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornagainchristianMan
over a year ago

Preston, Glasgow, Cheltenham, Leeds, Birmingham and Leicester (but travel all over the UK

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

Not as much as the amount of women who compartmentalise men. Honestly I’ve heard women say they are breaking off with someone they are dating because he talked about how much he loved his mum. Like, what?? Is that bad now?? I’ve also been turned away for being “too much of a nice guy”, whatever that’s supposed to mean.

Generally though, there are two competing sides of our brains, one wants an absolute slut and the other wants a devoted partner, both sides end up conflicting so I suppose it’s whichever you appeal better too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck n go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 14/03/22 11:54:57]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I look and go would I sleep with her? Yes or No.

Who am I to judge her past behaviour? People would (and do) Judge on my behaviour.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I don't have a type at all, personalities win every time but I'm such a slow mover is astonishing. To run with what others have posted, several women have asked or suggested they'd marry me and it's either not been a consideration for me or there's been something I've thought more important at the time. There's been nothing strictly wrong with them, just marriage hasn't been one of my life goals.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

I put a view on something Similar to this before and I got hammered for it, so I’m just gonna watch how this unfolds

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I’m in a hierarchical non monogamous set up I don’t see anyone as a potential wifey. However I’m looking for partners to date not just to hookup with and I wouldn’t see anyone as not capable of being a romantic partner but capable of being a sexual partner unless it was because they didn’t want the commitment of being a partner or they lived too far away for us to see one another regularly. Generally I think these days, if I want to sleep with someone, it should be someone I’d want to have some kind of relationship with.

I know because of being poly my answer isn’t what you are maybe looking for but enjoy this different perspective anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband excels at compartmentalising. He’s a highly intelligent and successful man, but not very emotionally astute.

So for example, our children haven’t bonded with his partner, and they have been together for several years now. He is able to put one foot in the partner’s camp, and another in the children’s. Effectively, it is all kept separate.

This situation wouldn’t be acceptable to me. I’d expect a partner to gel with my kids to a degree, and it would all have to flow together. Otherwise I’d be better off on my own with the kids. I do most of the parenting, so there is a practical element to this of course!

Neither ex nor I had ideal upbringings. However his had trauma in his (not that it would be recognised as such back then!). I am convinced therefore that the ability to compartmentalise is linked to the need for survival.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, haven’t read the rest of the thread, so hope my contribution is relevant to the discussion!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Reading this thread makes it obvious why so many men look elsewhere for the sex they aren't getting at home.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was seeking 'wife material' then the fab days would need to be left behind, at least for a while until things potentially required spicing up and a couples agreement was made. Swinging comes naturally to some couples but in all honesty, I think I would struggle quite a lot for fear of losing said partner. That's just me and my worrying nature though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Probably not just men though either Kylie. I think it’s pretty easy to work out the ones who just hope fab people will do the things their wives/girlfriends won’t do. If I was looking for a relationship it would unlikely be anyone from fab either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Probably not just men though either Kylie. I think it’s pretty easy to work out the ones who just hope fab people will do the things their wives/girlfriends won’t do. If I was looking for a relationship it would unlikely be anyone from fab either. "

Ditto.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never felt that I’ll meet my better half on Fab.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Interesting question.

My two penn'orth, for what it's worth, is that this is a person thing rather than a man thing, and I think we all do it to varying degrees. I think MrHotNotts was closest to my view on it, in that people want different qualities in people for different roles within their life. Some people fit into one role and not necessarily another, and both people's "compartments" that they have put the other in need to align. I was recently asked to my face what was so special about me that my partner wants to be in a relationship with me but only wanted NSA with her! Passive aggressive bitchiness aside, there is no clear answer to that...how does anyone explain who they click with and move into a relationship with? It's very multi-faceted.

For a relationship I personally feel that there needs to be a lot more "life" compatibility than for an NSA sexual partner...things like values, life stages, disposable income levels etc need to be more in line.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Not as such. I think more the opposite. Everyone is in the "no" box until they've shown me otherwise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llovereveryMan
over a year ago

Halifax

I think it depends on your age or maturity. My maturity I mean what you’ve experienced and how much meaningful insight that provided you.

When I was younger I compartmentalised as there was more social pressure too and friends and family influence you more. My potential wife had to fit into a premade social stencil that had been handed to me through years of social engineering.

Now that I'm older I am more relaxed and less bothered by these social pressures. If I like someone I couldn’t give a monkeys about the opinion of the next person because all I’m focused on is making myself happy.

I'd say my ideas about relationship, expectations and aspirations changed at around 35.

If a girl has a known reputation then this would be off putting for me. I wouldn’t care if she was a swinger, had multiple partners or something else. However knowing that others knew would be a deal breaker. And I don’t mean people participate in the alternative lifestyle (from the scene). I mean if people knew that weren't from the scene.

" So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies? "

Yes we do. This is neither good nor bad, it's just human nature and women do it too.

" Would that make you compartmentalise her, meaning once you got that imprint, you will never see her as potential girlfriend material/wife material?"

I wouldn’t like a girlfriend that put her private escapades out in the public domain. I can’t imagine a situation where I’d be comfortable socially knowing all my friends and their partners were aware that I was dating the village bike. I know some men might get a thrill. It’s just not for me.

"So you would discard her because she showed you a side that made you go “nah, not a potential wifey”"

If she revealed herself in private then I’d promote her sexual preferences. If it was public knowledge then I wouldn’t start dating in the first place so there would be nothing to discard.

"Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?"

Yes, because this is how we are socially engineered. Women have the ideal guy that they perceive would make the best husband, the best father, best homemaker etc. However, assuming you don’t fit the “proper” label doesn’t mean that you’re not a decent, honest, trustworthy person or any less wife material.

I hope this helps with your considerations. Have a good day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I know I'm not a man but I do know that from personal experience, some do. I know there are men who are quite traditional and wouldn't date me because of my lifestyle. I've also experienced men who are threatened by my sexual experiences. They're not really the type of men I'm interested in though. It's not that I'm not wife/girlfriend material or that they're not boyfriend/husband material. We're just incompatible. We want different things in life and relationships. I've had casual things with these types of men because the fact we're not compatible in a relationship sense doesn't mean we can't enjoy a casual arrangement together. That's all it is. You need deeper compatibility for a relationship than a casual arrangement.

When it comes to relationships, I personally want someone who wants to share my adventures with me. I don't want someone who wants me to settle down with them in suburbia with two kids and a dog. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not what I want. I'm lucky to have two partners who if anything probably wish I was more promiscuous than I am

. They get excited by what I get up to. They enjoy me dressing raunchily and getting checked out. We share a love based on our connection and understanding of each other as people. They're probably not other people's "husband material" but they're mine. If I could marry two people that is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say

you meet a girl, you fancy her but

she might have a reputation or

maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

Interesting debate but its down to who you meet and how they see you .you may find a guy that see you as wife material and you him husband. No matter what either of you thought before you met .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know I'm not a man but I do know that from personal experience, some do. I know there are men who are quite traditional and wouldn't date me because of my lifestyle. I've also experienced men who are threatened by my sexual experiences. They're not really the type of men I'm interested in though. It's not that I'm not wife/girlfriend material or that they're not boyfriend/husband material. We're just incompatible. We want different things in life and relationships. I've had casual things with these types of men because the fact we're not compatible in a relationship sense doesn't mean we can't enjoy a casual arrangement together. That's all it is. You need deeper compatibility for a relationship than a casual arrangement.

. "

I love this answer Lacey, actually puts things into perspective and I think you are kind of so right x

But I wonder if the whole traditionalist situation, is like that for a vast amount of men

Also totally agree, they may not want me as a wife or gf but they certainly seem to want my body and my wild side. Go figure …

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious. "

That’s really interesting.

Wonder why a person wouldn’t want to do boundary pushing with their partner but would with someone they’re just having sex with?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious.

That’s really interesting.

Wonder why a person wouldn’t want to do boundary pushing with their partner but would with someone they’re just having sex with?

I wonder if there’s this whole idea of pure and proper when it comes to wife material. Also not something wild that may end up straying so threatening the relationship.

It’s probably steaming from major insecurity I’d say x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I love this answer Lacey, actually puts things into perspective and I think you are kind of so right x

But I wonder if the whole traditionalist situation, is like that for a vast amount of men

Also totally agree, they may not want me as a wife or gf but they certainly seem to want my body and my wild side. Go figure …

They probably are. I'm not saying I make life easy for myself

. The majority also religiously watch Love Island though and I couldn't date them either!

It's fine to have casual sex with people you wouldn't want a relationship with. I think a lot of people do it and I don't see anything wrong with that as long as everyone respects each other. I'm personally happy to sleep with someone for who I'm not what they want in a partner but if they feel I don't deserve to be treated respectfully or they treat me as somehow a lower class of woman because of their own relationship preferences then they can sod off.

Funnily enough now I think about it, when I was on OKCupid years ago I always found the answers to questions about their attitude to sex workers interesting. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I'm definitely turned on by more feminist men who don't tie a woman's worth to her sexual "purity".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious.

That’s really interesting.

Wonder why a person wouldn’t want to do boundary pushing with their partner but would with someone they’re just having sex with?

I wonder if there’s this whole idea of pure and proper when it comes to wife material. Also not something wild that may end up straying so threatening the relationship.

It’s probably steaming from major insecurity I’d say x "

I think it’s just a preference

There’s plenty of “quality over quantity” and “I don’t want someone that’s slept through the whole site” on here. I think it’s the same when thinking about “wifey” material.

I even think it might have some caveman instincts built into it. The whole tribe sleeps with your girl, how can you be certain it’s your genes being passed on and not someone else’s? I think humans have some weird stuff seeded in our brains from millions of years of evolution that can’t just be boiled down to “your an insecure incel”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *069Couple
over a year ago

derby

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

I believe that we are all different in life. It’s all about respect, openness, loyalty between two people. If this is explained from the start you could well possibly find your king. No secrets is key

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious.

That’s really interesting.

Wonder why a person wouldn’t want to do boundary pushing with their partner but would with someone they’re just having sex with?

I wonder if there’s this whole idea of pure and proper when it comes to wife material. Also not something wild that may end up straying so threatening the relationship.

It’s probably steaming from major insecurity I’d say x "

I agree there's an element of that for some. Women who don't really enjoy sex aren't likely to be sexually unfaithful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

I don’t think “reputation” is the issue, more that innate sling of whether you will gel together in emirs of your wants and needs.

Wow you hit me there x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

I don't think it's all down to how you portray yourself; 'trans' is still something a lot of people struggle with and, even if they themselves don't struggle, they opt for the safer option because it's easier

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me no I don’t

I couldn’t care whare I meet them fab date site club swingers club or anything it’s all the same to me

I couldn’t care how meny people they been with or who they been with or any off that bs

If I like them in that way I going to date them

This bs just because you meet them on fab or they sleep with xxx amount is so judgmental

So I put two real things to people who think this way

So you have woman one

Who on fab and gose to swingers clubs and such and has a so called “rep” you don’t think she’s wife material

Woman two is Katy from close by or something

Who dosent have a “rep”

But unknown to you

Katy party’s down south or up north 100-200 miles away

Katy’s been took home by different guys every weekend for the last 3 years

But just because she hasn’t got a rep around your places means she’s wife material

Sorry to tell you everything one who thinks so they both the same

STOP BEING JUGMENTAL people are free to do as they like

If they not locked off simple as

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

If someone likes someone they'll settle down with them - cross eyed, educated or outdated opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

If someone likes someone they'll settle down with them - cross eyed, educated or outdated opinion. "

I’d like to think that if someone likes me enough, will forego all that , cos I’m nice and kind and caring girl and got hobbies (and I’ve been told pretty which helps)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

Sorry Kyles

I didn't think I was adding anything you hadn't likely already considered yourself

I've had long term partners that my friends and family didn't even know existed - and I mean for years

The problem was all mine though

That must have been shit for them but I didn't care at the time, my 'secret' was more important than their being accepted

And I feel a cunt for that now

And I wouldn't ask anyone else to accept that compromise ever again

There are plenty of guys that will though

Would you be a guys 'secret' if it meant being his 'wife'?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

If someone likes someone they'll settle down with them - cross eyed, educated or outdated opinion. "

I disagree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

For my two penneth (sorry - not got a penis but been here 8 years so using my observations) - many do.

Once you’ve met them on fab - no matter how compatible you may be irl (ie the same interests outside of sex, similar age, similar political beliefs, similar moral code and soh etc - many will see you as incompatible for a relationship. This happened to me fairly recently after 5 months of seeing each other very regularly.

The irony is that the relationships they find in the vanilla world are often unsuccessful - and within 2 years they’ve either split up or are cheating - and end up back on fab.

I applaud the guys who are realists and have loving relationships with someone they met on fab.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

Sorry Kyles

I didn't think I was adding anything you hadn't likely already considered yourself

I've had long term partners that my friends and family didn't even know existed - and I mean for years

The problem was all mine though

That must have been shit for them but I didn't care at the time, my 'secret' was more important than their being accepted

And I feel a cunt for that now

And I wouldn't ask anyone else to accept that compromise ever again

There are plenty of guys that will though

Would you be a guys 'secret' if it meant being his 'wife'?

I don’t know, In the long run it’d really bother me that maybe I’m not enough

But considering how I am , if I fell head over heels for him, then I’d probably “put up” with it.

Could be because I don’t totally see my value , or else. I don’t know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Guys, usual little research to enter in your brain and understand you more haha

So today, I wanna ask… do you guys mentally compartmentalise us ladies?

Let me go a bit into details, like say you meet a girl, you fancy her but she might have a reputation or maybe you met her from fab and you know she likes to have lots of sex with different partners.

Do you think some of you see certain girls as wife material because of the perception you get from them, for being “proper”?

Thoughts please! X

Particularly looking for an opinion from Thick

For my two penneth (sorry - not got a penis but been here 8 years so using my observations) - many do.

The irony is that the relationships they find in the vanilla world are often unsuccessful - and within 2 years they’ve either split up or are cheating - and end up back on fab.

I applaud the guys who are realists and have loving relationships with someone they met on fab.

I think so too, I mean If he’s right and I fancy him and we get on, it wouldn’t put me off that we met from fab. So that’s why I don’t see why the write off just cos the met came about here and not via friends or from randomly chatting at the cafe or speed dating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

I think the subject of telling someone's parents but backing out is a sign that they aren't comfortable in their own skin.

Things are definitely much better than when I was younger but there's still a lot of stigma around sexuality and sexual identity. It took me a while to admit to myself that I was bisexual, let alone anyone else. In fact by the time I came out to anyone I realised that I was actually pansexual (something that I experience a lot of negativity about).

In a world that's just starting to get its head around gender identity many people still have a lot of hang ups with themselves and how they think other people perceive them.

It's a shame. You're stunning and deserve more.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

Sorry Kyles

I didn't think I was adding anything you hadn't likely already considered yourself

I've had long term partners that my friends and family didn't even know existed - and I mean for years

The problem was all mine though

That must have been shit for them but I didn't care at the time, my 'secret' was more important than their being accepted

And I feel a cunt for that now

And I wouldn't ask anyone else to accept that compromise ever again

There are plenty of guys that will though

Would you be a guys 'secret' if it meant being his 'wife'?

I don’t know, In the long run it’d really bother me that maybe I’m not enough

But considering how I am , if I fell head over heels for him, then I’d probably “put up” with it.

Could be because I don’t totally see my value , or else. I don’t know "

Know your value Kylie

You've come too far for compromises x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

I compartmentalise many areas of my life but not people, I've had my preconceived opinions blown out of the water too many times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

Her actions/behaviour will shape my perception of her...not so much her reputation. However her reputation might correlate to her actions/behaviour. So are you serious about having a monogamous relationship...show me, as I will show you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

I think the subject of telling someone's parents but backing out is a sign that they aren't comfortable in their own skin.

In a world that's just starting to get its head around gender identity many people still have a lot of hang ups with themselves and how they think other people perceive them.

It's a shame. You're stunning and deserve more."

Do you find more negativity about being pansexual than you got about being bisexual?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

Sorry Kyles

I didn't think I was adding anything you hadn't likely already considered yourself

I've had long term partners that my friends and family didn't even know existed - and I mean for years

The problem was all mine though

That must have been shit for them but I didn't care at the time, my 'secret' was more important than their being accepted

And I feel a cunt for that now

And I wouldn't ask anyone else to accept that compromise ever again

There are plenty of guys that will though

Would you be a guys 'secret' if it meant being his 'wife'?

I don’t know, In the long run it’d really bother me that maybe I’m not enough

But considering how I am , if I fell head over heels for him, then I’d probably “put up” with it.

Could be because I don’t totally see my value , or else. I don’t know "

Kylie nooooooo!! You deserve a man who is loud and proud about having you by his side!! Love alone isn't enough if someone wants you to compromise yourself so much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

"Do you find more negativity about being pansexual than you got about being bisexual?"

Yeah, I do. It actually tends to be more from members of the LGBTQ+ community too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you find more negativity about being pansexual than you got about being bisexual?

Yeah, I do. It actually tends to be more from members of the LGBTQ+ community too."

Why does this not surprise me one bit …!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think in your position Kylie, you will be compartmentalised because you are seen as trans as opposed to a 'woman'

A lot of guys will fuck trans women

My guess is only a small % of those would 'settle down' with a trans woman

They don't see trans 'woman' they see a 'good' 'convincing' (eurgh, despise that phrase) transvestite, unable to separate the two things

For a fuck, they can get their head round it or can disguise it from friends and family

Longer term that isn't a realistic option, so they steer towards the conventional girlfriend

I mean, ouch Buss!

I did have a few lads who admitted were more than open or have no problems dating a trans woman (as in, made no difference), but we touched the subject on would you tell your parents …

And that’s where things got a bit complicated.. didn’t deter them to pursue a relationship but it certainly would add a layer of complication

Sorry Kyles

I didn't think I was adding anything you hadn't likely already considered yourself

I've had long term partners that my friends and family didn't even know existed - and I mean for years

The problem was all mine though

That must have been shit for them but I didn't care at the time, my 'secret' was more important than their being accepted

And I feel a cunt for that now

And I wouldn't ask anyone else to accept that compromise ever again

There are plenty of guys that will though

Would you be a guys 'secret' if it meant being his 'wife'?

I don’t know, In the long run it’d really bother me that maybe I’m not enough

But considering how I am , if I fell head over heels for him, then I’d probably “put up” with it.

Could be because I don’t totally see my value , or else. I don’t know

Kylie nooooooo!! You deserve a man who is loud and proud about having you by his side!! Love alone isn't enough if someone wants you to compromise yourself so much. "

need to write this down and read it every time I don’t feel enough

Thanks lovely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes would say I compartmentalise we all do and obviously there are some woman I will favour more than others thats just my preference no negative judgement involved.Do regret that I do sometimes put people i to boxes though don’t think thats right.

Wouldn’t say I get a feeling of “proper” or even have a set in stone idea of what my wifey would be,There ate two exes I considered bringing to that stage snd they were do far apart from one another in every way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a_fun_30_coupleCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Interesting question. Does it work both ways round? What if you met the woman first and she appeared as whatever your “wifey material” looked like but then over time she developed or let out her naughtier side and it turned out she was more promiscuous than first thought and other stereotypically “non-wifey” characteristics mentioned above? Would that change your opinion of her and make her no longer wifey material?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting question. Does it work both ways round? What if you met the woman first and she appeared as whatever your “wifey material” looked like but then over time she developed or let out her naughtier side and it turned out she was more promiscuous than first thought and other stereotypically “non-wifey” characteristics mentioned above? Would that change your opinion of her and make her no longer wifey material? "

Depends on the circumstances one would have to say and how I judged her to be wifey material if its a complete uproot of her personality then yes if not probably just a pleasant surprise

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious.

That’s really interesting.

Wonder why a person wouldn’t want to do boundary pushing with their partner but would with someone they’re just having sex with?

Possibly because in his mind I was not worthy of being someone he went to the theatre with and introduced to friends, because he knew I wasn't missionary only in bed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't know anyone til you've been on holiday with em

Always have a holiday before you talk about shacking up together

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Yes. Two compartments. The ones I’d shag and the ones I wouldn’t.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"You don't know anyone til you've been on holiday with em

Always have a holiday before you talk about shacking up together

My mum always says this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Interesting thread Kylie. Threads like these tend to make me feel a bit sad inside (from some of the posts) but also informative and I like reading how a man’s mind works.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting thread Kylie. Threads like these tend to make me feel a bit sad inside (from some of the posts) but also informative and I like reading how a man’s mind works.

You can say my name you know

Don’t know where the mind working part comes from though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A GP I was seeing said I could never be his girlfriend because as soon as the sex gets good with a woman he can't see her as a girlfriend or wife.

He told me the sex he has with girlfriends is boring and nothing like he gets off on.

So, I was wanted by him because I tied him up and put things in his arse, but not for anything serious.

That’s really interesting.

Wonder why a person wouldn’t want to do boundary pushing with their partner but would with someone they’re just having sex with?

Possibly because in his mind I was not worthy of being someone he went to the theatre with and introduced to friends, because he knew I wasn't missionary only in bed. "

Maybe some people think willingness to do more in the bedroom is a slight on someone. Attitudes to sex are interesting to unpack

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Interesting thread Kylie. Threads like these tend to make me feel a bit sad inside (from some of the posts) but also informative and I like reading how a man’s mind works.

Glad you enjoyed this!! X I mean definitely interesting to pick brains on this x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I think this is true in the whole but I think you can develop strong feelings which would then turn the question around.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Also if your aren't up for a swinging relationship and the women in question has had 100s of sexual partners then I'd definitely be worried that in the future that it would resort to either cheating or separation

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if I don't ever want to get married

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"What if I don't ever want to get married

Those you would share your icecream with and those you wouldn't?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if I don't ever want to get married

Those you would share your icecream with and those you wouldn't? "

I don't discriminate. They're both in the, don't touch my ice cream camp

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Yeah that’s kind of what I was wondering and you sort of confirmed it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What if I don't ever want to get married

Those you would share your icecream with and those you wouldn't?

I don't discriminate. They're both in the, don't touch my ice cream camp

Proper meanie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"What if I don't ever want to get married

Those you would share your icecream with and those you wouldn't?

I don't discriminate. They're both in the, don't touch my ice cream camp

I should have known

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

No. I don’t treat Fab women any differently to vanilla women.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only compartmentalise feelings, emotions, trauma, memories, the healthy stuff.

If I like somebody I like them, regardless of what weird sex site I met them on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way too complex a subject. All depends on your position.. as some maybe more lax about rules if they are in need of a wider friendship group.

People are more forgiving / naive when younger so allow second chances etc. as older we often stick with first impressions (ie compartmentalise & no chance of jumping boxes).

But a single man might have a different opinion than a married one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Yes but not because of the way they appear to other but more in the way they have treated me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Hi Liam. I’d still dispute that. I’ve had a lot of meets on here - but pre fab I spent 20 years in 2 long term monogamous relationships - and with the ‘right’ man I’d be monogamous again if he didn’t want to swing. At the end of the day it’s about morality and trustworthiness - and that has very little to do with the number of previous partners.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Agreed. It’s an old fashioned misconception that people with lots of sexual partners can’t be monogamous/trustworthy.

Vice versa, those with few can be dishonest cheaters.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Agreed. It’s an old fashioned misconception that people with lots of sexual partners can’t be monogamous/trustworthy.

Vice versa, those with few can be dishonest cheaters.

I agree too. Just because one has an account on Fab does not mean one would automatically cheat if they fell in love with someone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Agreed. It’s an old fashioned misconception that people with lots of sexual partners can’t be monogamous/trustworthy.

Vice versa, those with few can be dishonest cheaters.

This is true. The person who cheated on me, I was only his third sexual partner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

Fuckable not wifeable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"I won't spend my evening reading this whole thread so OP I'd say first impressions count.

Agreed. It’s an old fashioned misconception that people with lots of sexual partners can’t be monogamous/trustworthy.

Vice versa, those with few can be dishonest cheaters.

I agree too. Just because one has an account on Fab does not mean one would automatically cheat if they fell in love with someone."
I'm not saying that just because they are here that it's automatic cheating, but it would definitely sway my decision. Having said that I'm also not saying that the women of fab aren't marriage material.. First impressions count to me though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edonist79Man
over a year ago

Trowbridge

The more she's likely to want to sleep with others, the more I'm interested in her to be honest. I've always wanted partners who didn't want to be monogomous with me. From my first ever relationship on.

So to answer your question, if I was single it would make me want to be with you more, not write you off. But also know I'm not wired the same as every other guy so who knows about them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m both a wife and the other woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread