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The friend issue

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.

Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.

He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation

Anyway.

Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?

I’m very confused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave it.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?

Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?

That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had

What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a whole bunch of hassle that you don’t need in your life.

I’m quite a brutal person and in that situation, I’d be cutting them off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kylie, the answer is as plain as the nose on your cute wee face.

LEAVE it. You could make a quilt out of all the red flags here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a friend put me down because I wouldn't sleep with him, he'd be gone.

He should accept your friend status and respect your decision.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

He wants to fuck you again.

You said no.

He spat his dummy out in the hope you'll capitulate and he will carry on doing it until you do.

That's no friend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?

Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?

That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had

What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive? "

Well I kind of value him as a friend? Like I thought we were going in that direction, especially as his interest was for another lady anyway.

So, I don’t get why he’d get shitty if I said .. err we are friends now, so definitely not gonna fuck u after I’ve basically been his therapist for the past however long

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The answer is pretty obvious

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Only you can say, you know what was said and done we don't. People could read what you have written and read on thing into your words, others could look at it in the opposite way.

The devil is in the detail, often in the way the words were said rather than the words that were spoken.

Don't be swayed by others make your own decisions it is you that has to lib#ve with them

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By *amspoonsMan
over a year ago

North East

My messages have a few people (two couples in particular) who I really fancy but who do not want to fuck me. I still talk to them because I really enjoy the conversations, I know I will never have sex with them but would nevertheless love to have a social with them and that is enough for me.

Ditch the wally. He doesnt value the friendship, only your vagina.

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe

I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.

If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Kylie, the answer is as plain as the nose on your cute wee face.

LEAVE it. You could make a quilt out of all the red flags here!"

Hahah the last line killed me

For the right Fuck boy, I’d be running straight into them red flags like a bull

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?

Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?

That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had

What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive?

Well I kind of value him as a friend? Like I thought we were going in that direction, especially as his interest was for another lady anyway.

So, I don’t get why he’d get shitty if I said .. err we are friends now, so definitely not gonna fuck u after I’ve basically been his therapist for the past however long "

So now a little more background comes out

As others have said, theirs no friendship to be had

If I want to be really honest, I’d guess that deep down you want to keep him in your pocket for some reason incase you want to fuck or something in the future?

That’s the only reason I could see for questioning this. Someone that gets shitty because you won’t fuck him anymore is never going to be a friend and you know that. So what’s going on? You’ve admitted it yourself in the past, you’ll blindside red flags for good dick. Is this what is happening?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why won't you fuck him? Do you have feelings for him?

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By *cttMan
over a year ago

hatfield & Cannock

His true colours showed when you told him no fuck, he obviously Norma true friend otherwise he should understand and respect your wishes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.

If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx"

I’m currently letting some air on it, and circle back to see if he’s alright.

I am a bit gobsmacked how he thought , after all this, that I’d be interested in fucking him… like NAH.

The assumption and the “but you have no problem fucking guys with girlfriends”

The shock and the horror on my face

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By *anB451Man
over a year ago

Reading


"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.

Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.

He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation

Anyway.

Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?

I’m very confused "

Ditch the friendship. He doesn't see you as a friend he see's you as a fuck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?

Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?

That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had

What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive?

Well I kind of value him as a friend? Like I thought we were going in that direction, especially as his interest was for another lady anyway.

So, I don’t get why he’d get shitty if I said .. err we are friends now, so definitely not gonna fuck u after I’ve basically been his therapist for the past however long

So now a little more background comes out

As others have said, theirs no friendship to be had

If I want to be really honest, I’d guess that deep down you want to keep him in your pocket for some reason incase you want to fuck or something in the future?

That’s the only reason I could see for questioning this. Someone that gets shitty because you won’t fuck him anymore is never going to be a friend and you know that. So what’s going on? You’ve admitted it yourself in the past, you’ll blindside red flags for good dick. Is this what is happening? "

No honestly, I literally have no feelings for him! That’s why I said, even if things don’t work out. There’s no way I can fuck him because mentally I can’t go there.

Like I can’t fuck any of my male friends even if they are attractive, because they are my friends!!!

Obviously I can cut him off, I’m just a girl who finds it hard to cut people off in general.

Also I felt a bit Shitty to be honest about how I felt but I generally did mean it when I said it’s me not him. He’s fairly good looking, but I see him on a different light so I can’t see him fuck me again. Not today nor tomorrow or nor in a million years time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.

Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.

He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation

Anyway.

Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?

I’m very confused "

Let it fizzle out. You’ve done the FB thing with him years ago, if it was right at the time, fine, but why go backwards? You’ve got back in touch with each other and like you say you put him in the friend box, he clearly still likes you but you can’t fuck him for the sake of it…. Walk away now.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

It sounds like he was expecting you to carry on where you left on & now that doors closed he's not happy

If that's the case, walk away, you deserve better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.

Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.

He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation

Anyway.

Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?

I’m very confused "

Why are you confused ? If he wants to stay friends with you ..ok..but if not don't lose sleep over it ..it's his decision..you fuck who you want to fuck ..he's not one of them so your sexual adventure with him has ended, let him wonder all he likes what you're doing on a Saturday night , it none of his business.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

It’s nice you value him as a friend but with how he acting and stuff said he thinks he can get you feel guilty and play.

Obviously he not happy in relationship or wouldn’t be wanting you that way and would be happy have you as friend.

Stay safe and happy lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy wants sex and he is using the friendship as a guise if you ask me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.

If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx"

I just wonder if there’s no true foundation because we started off as fuck buddies and he’s clearly not using his friendship head if he’s thinking about potentially fucking me. Or getting offended that I said I’m not gonna fuck you again. ever (because I see us as friends)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I liked it when your threads were short iv no advise to give

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out"

I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck

Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

You're a lovely girl Kylie, so don't get yourself in a position where you'll get hurt so leave well alone. It's just a cock, there'll be others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.

If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx

I just wonder if there’s no true foundation because we started off as fuck buddies and he’s clearly not using his friendship head if he’s thinking about potentially fucking me. Or getting offended that I said I’m not gonna fuck you again. ever (because I see us as friends)

"

Yep. This.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You're a lovely girl Kylie, so don't get yourself in a position where you'll get hurt so leave well alone. It's just a cock, there'll be others x"

Thanks! That ship has long sailed like, no longer interested in his dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems you've been really honest and straight forward. Sometimes friends aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Sad but it's just how it is, maybe this one is done?

And surely the right fuck boy wouldn't have any red flags? I reckon any time spent with the wrong person means less time available for the right one. This includes time with yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that he just wants to get his hands on your new boobies and is maybe even bullshitting you about his situation for a sympathy fuck?

Ooh my claws came out sorry.

But hey, new boobies new you, don't go back to the past.

PW

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

If it was me and we really were friends I’d actually just tell him his behaviour to you saying no is very c*nty and not acceptable.

But I’m getting the feeling he just wants a shag and not friendship in which case I’d tell him that you had a great time before but now he’s in a relationship you wish him all the best and that you are going to block him. Then block him. Don’t wait for a reply.

Then get on and find a non fuck boy guy who will treat you with respect.

Good luck lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kylie, the answer is as plain as the nose on your cute wee face.

LEAVE it. You could make a quilt out of all the red flags here!"

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe


"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.

If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx

I’m currently letting some air on it, and circle back to see if he’s alright.

I am a bit gobsmacked how he thought , after all this, that I’d be interested in fucking him… like NAH.

The assumption and the “but you have no problem fucking guys with girlfriends”

The shock and the horror on my face "

The very fact that he would say that to you means he doesn't respect you as a friend or human being.

I have male friends who want to fuck me or even date me and it is nice,sometimes flattering when they try or make a move but I would not put up with that level of disrespect.

I am similar because I always want to be there for everyone but you have to put yourself first.

You deserve so much better

Xx

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Leave it.

Being shitty over wanting to just be friends is a clear indication he wants more.

Jumping from one situation to another, is a red flag too.

Leave him be to sort his crap out.

K

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out

I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck

Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men! "

Exactly, he should be sorting his own situation out if not working and not complaining about not being able to sleep with you.

I've never strayed so I don't understand that mentality but he needs to either leave her or sort what's going wrong and stop acting like a kid because he's not getting what he wants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does he have feelings for you and is hurt? You've said it's a "situationship" he talks to you about with his girlfriend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.

Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.

He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation

Anyway.

Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?

I’m very confused "

Fuck him off

He'll be trouble from here on in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him it's not about him it's about you.

It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.

If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.

Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.

He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation

Anyway.

Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?

I’m very confused "

Just my opinion and it's your call, but I'd cut him loose and leave it well alone. Sounds like he'll drag you down with his attitude

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

If he can’t respect your feelings and wishes then he’s no friend, sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out

I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck

Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men!

Exactly, he should be sorting his own situation out if not working and not complaining about not being able to sleep with you.

I've never strayed so I don't understand that mentality but he needs to either leave her or sort what's going wrong and stop acting like a kid because he's not getting what he wants "

It was more a situation of, well if he leaves her, then he was suggesting about us fucking again.

And I said no, not for me really x and he got all upset

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tell him it's not about him it's about you.

It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.

If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you "

I did say it’s definitely me and how I feel about it, and he said it’s totally him and that I don’t fancy him.

Which is kinda true, but it’s because I see him in a different light so sex isn’t on the card

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out

I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck

Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men!

Exactly, he should be sorting his own situation out if not working and not complaining about not being able to sleep with you.

I've never strayed so I don't understand that mentality but he needs to either leave her or sort what's going wrong and stop acting like a kid because he's not getting what he wants

It was more a situation of, well if he leaves her, then he was suggesting about us fucking again.

And I said no, not for me really x and he got all upset "

Well hopefully he apologises to you for how he's acted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He’s a total scumbag. Whingeing about his girlfriend behind her back, and coming onto the girl he whinges about her to.

I wouldn’t give someone like that the time of day, but have fairly strong boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tell him it's not about him it's about you.

It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.

If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you

I did say it’s definitely me and how I feel about it, and he said it’s totally him and that I don’t fancy him.

Which is kinda true, but it’s because I see him in a different light so sex isn’t on the card "

Please see how manipulative he’s being!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tell him it's not about him it's about you.

It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.

If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you

I did say it’s definitely me and how I feel about it, and he said it’s totally him and that I don’t fancy him.

Which is kinda true, but it’s because I see him in a different light so sex isn’t on the card

Please see how manipulative he’s being!"

I think so, I’ve left him for now. But I’d kind of want an apology for the mean thing he said about me sleeping with some men and accusing me of having “no morals”

What a twit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He must be completely stupid if he can’t see the double standards in that

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Get him to fuck…his morals and undertone of chancing his arm shows little value to your friendship, he doesn’t deserve you in my opinion xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're worth more, lovely. Worth more than the shitty way he's treated you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He isn’t a friend really is he. Avoid him, that’s the simple advice. Just text him and be clear, it’s not a drama, just explain you’re not feeling like he’s good for you and it’s important you respect each other and enhance each other, rather than be as it sounds.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Get him to fuck…his morals and undertone of chancing his arm shows little value to your friendship, he doesn’t deserve you in my opinion xx"

Yeah I think you are right. It’s friendship from my side but I don’t think it is , from his side and he hasn’t respected me

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By *0ladfunMan
over a year ago

Brisbane

Cut toxic people from your life…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You're worth more, lovely. Worth more than the shitty way he's treated you. "

Thanks lovely x

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

Your a beautiful lady who is funny and nice you do not need idiots like that push him away and enjoy yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have your side. Would be nice to have his before I make a comment on his character.

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