FabSwingers.com forum: Staring

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I was waiting for the tube the other day and I noticed this huge posted by the British Transport Police about Staring … or better inappropriate staring

And it said something about intrusive staring is sexual harassment and isn’t tolerated and encouraging to report the crime to the BTP

Now, my question is, what constitutes an inappropriate staring? Is it staring somebody for too long inappropriate?

It seems very vague but no wonders everyone is afraid of looking at everyone on the tube and end up staring into a shitty ad! Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Is this getting all a bit absurd?

I have to say, I see people being generally extremely careful in close proximity, but yeah I noticed the motorists to be the most obvious, maybe because they are in the car and I’m walking so it puts distance?

Some of y’all tho are literally not even bothered to try and look a bit careful and coy (like moving urself to have a better view and check out type obvious) when in cars

but either way, I usually just mumble to myself “can you be any more obvious!?” And just carry on walking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time I had the misfortune to be on the tube I had a woman call me out for looking right at her as she could apparently see me eyeing her up thru my sunglasses, so I took them off and let her see why I had sunglasses on underground as just come from moorfields eye hospital due to having surgery, my friend with me then threatened to call the police on her for abusing a "blind old man" seems people get offended for almost anything or will be offended for someone else just incase they didn't feel offended.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cannot stand being stared at by strangers in public. It really creeps me out. An unknown man, staring at a lone female in public is creepy as fuck! I don’t mean a glance, I mean prolonged staring. I’m always really arsey now and say “what are you staring at?”, can’t help myself.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I try not to stare on the tube, out of politeness. Even when I see a super hot woman. Guess it's just not in my personality to stare, I like to think I'm more discreet than that. I doubt I'd like it if someone stared at me too. I can see why the OP might spot guys eyeing her up though

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Anything about beware of muggers?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Last time I had the misfortune to be on the tube I had a woman call me out for looking right at her as she could apparently see me eyeing her up thru my sunglasses, so I took them off and let her see why I had sunglasses on underground as just come from moorfields eye hospital due to having surgery, my friend with me then threatened to call the police on her for abusing a "blind old man" seems people get offended for almost anything or will be offended for someone else just incase they didn't feel offended."

So sorry that happened to you, I mean it is kinda ridiculous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I try not to stare on the tube, out of politeness. Even when I see a super hot woman. Guess it's just not in my personality to stare, I like to think I'm more discreet than that. I doubt I'd like it if someone stared at me too. I can see why the OP might spot guys eyeing her up though

I mean mostly in the street, but it’s such a brief moment that I don’t mind it as much.

I can see when being close and someone is basically undressing u with his gaze, well I see why that’d make people uncomfortable.

Id just move and sit somewhere else if that was the case tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a big fan of the thousand yard stare, don’t take it away from me …

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I must admit when I saw that one I laughed, why because most bury their heads or stare at the same poster, as if they are going to burst into flames if they look at someone on the tube.

I’m forever looking around the carriage, mixture of who needs a seat and well vigilance for any possible trouble.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Being stared at is par for the course, when you're an apparently young woman with a child strapped on your knee, travelling by wheelchair. If people stare too long, I say something *shakes fist*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m a big fan of the thousand yard stare, don’t take it away from me …"

You can stare x but it makes me laugh how some of you can’t even seem to be able to make it kinda not so obvious

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I often go in to a bit of a day dream daze and not really realise I'm doing it.

Its one of those tricky things for sure.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

OP will you kindly cover your new lady bumps up please!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I’d love to see the arrest/ conviction figures for such an offence….. zip I’d guess…

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Staring at someone is the same as getting in their personal space. It's not defined but you know when it's happening.

Maintaining a stare, either when you realise you're doing it or the recipient is aware if you, is a pretty aggressive move. Animals do it as a way to assert dominance or cause fear and it has the same meaning in humans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cannot stand being stared at by strangers in public. It really creeps me out. An unknown man, staring at a lone female in public is creepy as fuck! I don’t mean a glance, I mean prolonged staring. I’m always really arsey now and say “what are you staring at?”, can’t help myself."

I imagine that's what the sign is aimed at. That kind of behaviour. But - almost impossible to police and open to false accusation.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I mean mostly in the street, but it’s such a brief moment that I don’t mind it as much.

I can see when being close and someone is basically undressing u with his gaze, well I see why that’d make people uncomfortable.

Id just move and sit somewhere else if that was the case tho "

That makes sense, having to endure being mentally undressed by someone for a whole 20 min tube journey must be uncomfortable. I'm usually tired on the tube (going to or from work), so tend to just put my earphones in and zone out. It's crazy that it's a problem which requires it's own poster and threat of legal action now. I wonder if its got anything to do with face masks making it seem like people are staring more, as all you could see are their eyes?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP will you kindly cover your new lady bumps up please!!!

NEVER!

Im just waiting for the warmer days so I can join Euphoria high

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all "

Fucks sake. Don’t think I’ve ever been stared at. I’d probably just stare them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw one of those posters on the tube at the weekend OP, and had a similar discussion with my friend.

My friend was saying how can staring be harassment?

There is a big difference between a quick glance at someone, and prolonged staring which can and does make people feel uncomfortable.

I've had it happen to me, in my place of work and it made me very uncomfortable and I felt it was inappropriate.

I'm all for eye contact and smiling at people, but staring, feeling like you're being watched going about your business, isn't acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I've seen someone constantly staring at me, it would make me feel very uncomfortable. In saying that, I once stared right back at the staring person and he soon stopped and looked at away x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all "

I wouldn't be able to get on the Tube or train for someone to stare at me and phone the BTP anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all

Fucks sake. Don’t think I’ve ever been stared at. I’d probably just stare them out. "

I get the slurs and the violence and the mugging and all. But this seems a bit insane and also, what do you say?

Somebody started at me I wanna report him?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reminds me of THE POLICE's song on the Album Regretta De Blanc .." Does everyone Stare " ..there is a time and s place for everything l suppose..great question though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I saw one of those posters on the tube at the weekend OP, and had a similar discussion with my friend.

My friend was saying how can staring be harassment?

There is a big difference between a quick glance at someone, and prolonged staring which can and does make people feel uncomfortable.

I've had it happen to me, in my place of work and it made me very uncomfortable and I felt it was inappropriate.

I'm all for eye contact and smiling at people, but staring, feeling like you're being watched going about your business, isn't acceptable "

Yes I see your point, I kinda am wondering what constitute as staring to be able to report it etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all

Fucks sake. Don’t think I’ve ever been stared at. I’d probably just stare them out. "

We'll have to have a " Staring " contest ..you seem quite confident..

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all

Fucks sake. Don’t think I’ve ever been stared at. I’d probably just stare them out.

We'll have to have a " Staring " contest ..you seem quite confident..

Bring it on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I was waiting for the tube the other day and I noticed this huge posted by the British Transport Police about Staring … or better inappropriate staring

And it said something about intrusive staring is sexual harassment and isn’t tolerated and encouraging to report the crime to the BTP

Now, my question is, what constitutes an inappropriate staring? Is it staring somebody for too long inappropriate?

It seems very vague but no wonders everyone is afraid of looking at everyone on the tube and end up staring into a shitty ad! Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Is this getting all a bit absurd?

Some of y’all tho are literally not even bothered to try and look a bit careful and coy (like moving urself to have a better view and check out type obvious) when in cars

but either way, I usually just mumble to myself “can you be any more obvious!?” And just carry on walking! "

It's the next step to totally immasculate men. The New World way of life.

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Makes a mockery of the you are our eyes and ears and report anything suspicious you see posters at transport hubs….

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I saw one of those posters on the tube at the weekend OP, and had a similar discussion with my friend.

My friend was saying how can staring be harassment?

There is a big difference between a quick glance at someone, and prolonged staring which can and does make people feel uncomfortable.

I've had it happen to me, in my place of work and it made me very uncomfortable and I felt it was inappropriate.

I'm all for eye contact and smiling at people, but staring, feeling like you're being watched going about your business, isn't acceptable

Yes I see your point, I kinda am wondering what constitute as staring to be able to report it etc

Or what evidence is required if the staring, surely can’t just be someone’s word for it, that opens a whole over can of worms

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I saw one of those posters on the tube at the weekend OP, and had a similar discussion with my friend.

My friend was saying how can staring be harassment?

There is a big difference between a quick glance at someone, and prolonged staring which can and does make people feel uncomfortable.

I've had it happen to me, in my place of work and it made me very uncomfortable and I felt it was inappropriate.

I'm all for eye contact and smiling at people, but staring, feeling like you're being watched going about your business, isn't acceptable

Yes I see your point, I kinda am wondering what constitute as staring to be able to report it etc

That's kind of it, somebody could decide that a glance is staring. So they go and report it... But then what? What actually happens? Do the police and swat team come swooping in to arast the guy that just so happened to look in a direction at the wrong time.

There are just some things that might be uncomfortable but it can't be completely controlled.

I don't quite like, and would feel very uncomfortable of being wrongfully accused of something that is not even on my mind nevermind the last thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I was waiting for the tube the other day and I noticed this huge posted by the British Transport Police about Staring … or better inappropriate staring

And it said something about intrusive staring is sexual harassment and isn’t tolerated and encouraging to report the crime to the BTP

Now, my question is, what constitutes an inappropriate staring? Is it staring somebody for too long inappropriate?

It seems very vague but no wonders everyone is afraid of looking at everyone on the tube and end up staring into a shitty ad! Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Is this getting all a bit absurd?

Some of y’all tho are literally not even bothered to try and look a bit careful and coy (like moving urself to have a better view and check out type obvious) when in cars

but either way, I usually just mumble to myself “can you be any more obvious!?” And just carry on walking! "
they judge it by the amount of drool hanging from the chin 1 inch ok 5 inch dodgy a foot get in the stocks

hope this helps

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I am used to people staring at me due to the way I walk, so it doesn't bother me, just think "have you got your fix yet?".

It gets quite uncomfortable sometimes in swingers clubs, where some men would just stare at you intensely as if they either never seen a woman before or as if they wanted you to read their mind and invite them to play without them needing to speak to you. But I guess that's the environment when we sort of choose to be at least looked at.

Anyway, thinking about practicalities: how are you going to report the starer? I do think people are getting way oversensitive and would take offence at anything, even at taking offence.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

"So I was waiting for the tube the other day and I noticed this huge posted by the British Transport Police about Staring … or better inappropriate staring

And it said something about intrusive staring is sexual harassment and isn’t tolerated and encouraging to report the crime to the BTP

Now, my question is, what constitutes an inappropriate staring? Is it staring somebody for too long inappropriate?

It seems very vague but no wonders everyone is afraid of looking at everyone on the tube and end up staring into a shitty ad! Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Is this getting all a bit absurd?

Some of y’all tho are literally not even bothered to try and look a bit careful and coy (like moving urself to have a better view and check out type obvious) when in cars

but either way, I usually just mumble to myself “can you be any more obvious!?” And just carry on walking!

It's the next step to totally immasculate men. The New World way of life. "

Yes it really is unacceptable that men are losing their right to sexually harass women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather the police did something about knife crime or sexual assault. Staring isn't something that can be policed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not a fan of being stared at it makes me feel so conscious and uncomfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People stare at me often usually cos im in shorts n vest in the middle of winter tho

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If the posters prompt some to be more aware of how their behaviour could be perceived then I think that's a good thing

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By *rReyMan
over a year ago

Fleet

"So I was waiting for the tube the other day and I noticed this huge posted by the British Transport Police about Staring … or better inappropriate staring

And it said something about intrusive staring is sexual harassment and isn’t tolerated and encouraging to report the crime to the BTP

Now, my question is, what constitutes an inappropriate staring? Is it staring somebody for too long inappropriate?

It seems very vague but no wonders everyone is afraid of looking at everyone on the tube and end up staring into a shitty ad! Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Is this getting all a bit absurd?

Some of y’all tho are literally not even bothered to try and look a bit careful and coy (like moving urself to have a better view and check out type obvious) when in cars

but either way, I usually just mumble to myself “can you be any more obvious!?” And just carry on walking! "

It's rediculous, nobody greats anyone anymore or makes any eye contact. Nobody is polite when passing. It's headphones in, eyes on the ground and off you go barging your way through life. I think it's rude.

Me, I walk with my head up looking towards people as I walk, if I make eye contact, I nod and smile or say hi. Regardless of who it is. Being present in the here and now and acknowledging other people is a good thing.

Staring, like burning a hole in the side of someone's head is rude agreed, but offensive, hmmm nor sure.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"If the posters prompt some to be more aware of how their behaviour could be perceived then I think that's a good thing "

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

You have got me thinking now Kylie. I often sit and go into my own world and stare into space. I wonder if people think I am staring at them when my mind is a total blank.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try being a white person in India and you'll know all about staring.

Not a thing in Goa but if you go to Punjab or Gujarat or anywhere like that OMG

Made me feel so uncomfortable and I wouldn't even be presenting as female at the time either

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"If the posters prompt some to be more aware of how their behaviour could be perceived then I think that's a good thing "
but if it can't be policed then they will pretty much still do it. There is no consequence to doing it. Those that aren't aware by this point are likely not going to change their attitude from a sign saying "don't stare"

I don't stare at people, maybe a glance or a double take if they caught my eye. But I get self conscious thinking/knowing I'm being stared at myself (for different reasons obviously) but it's not like anything can be done about it if they are.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

"Try being a white person in India and you'll know all about staring.

Not a thing in Goa but if you go to Punjab or Gujarat or anywhere like that OMG

Made me feel so uncomfortable and I wouldn't even be presenting as female at the time either "

Good point. It happens the world over. Biggest stare was when my black wife and I went to a market in St Lucia. The old women on the stalls were in fascination to see an older black woman with a handsome white man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law. "

What about as a woman on your own. Having a male staring at you continuously. Not looking away. Staring at your breasts. Is that life?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

It seems a bit “thought police” to consider arresting someone for where their eyes are pointing

I’m all for, as a society, condemning that kinda stuff

But things get weird when you bring the law into it

Who decides what is and isn’t staring? Is there a time limit? Does intensity of the stare matter? Is it only an offence when a man stares at a woman? How does the court gather enough evidence to make a conviction?

I think sometimes things are better dealt with by a society that protects eachother. A few people standing up and saying “hey stop fucking staring you creep” is an acceptable response. Asking someone to be handcuffed and potentially sentenced in court isn’t. In my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a thread posted by a guy a few months ago where he talked about how much he enjoyed staring at a woman for ages. Just enjoying eyeing her up. With no positive response from her. He wondered if women enjoyed it. He was absolutely slated. The posters are for that guy. Don't think it will make a blind bit of difference.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

"I’m a big fan of the thousand yard stare, don’t take it away from me …"

Great band. “Comeuppance” is a tune.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law. "

Its not always as simple as saying deal with it and move on.

The definition of harassment is unwanted behaviour which you find offensive or which makes you feel intimidated or humiliated.

Now I am not saying it would be an easy thing to police, or prove etc, what I am saying is I can understand how constant staring can be classed as harrasment.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law.

What about as a woman on your own. Having a male staring at you continuously. Not looking away. Staring at your breasts. Is that life? "

I have had groups of d*unken women stare at me on the tube and then discuss between themselves whether I am that “big” all over.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law.

What about as a woman on your own. Having a male staring at you continuously. Not looking away. Staring at your breasts. Is that life?

I have had groups of d*unken women stare at me on the tube and then discuss between themselves whether I am that “big” all over. "

Exactly. And that does happen. I’ve seen that kind of thing happen a lot with d*unken women! Men seem to be expected to accept it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law.

What about as a woman on your own. Having a male staring at you continuously. Not looking away. Staring at your breasts. Is that life?

I have had groups of d*unken women stare at me on the tube and then discuss between themselves whether I am that “big” all over. "

Equally not acceptable in my book. That kind of staring is treating people as objects. Hate it. But I disagree with trying to police it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get stared at all the time because of my height. It’s life. Deal with it and move on.

I also genuinely don’t understand how this can be a crime. I would love to know the actual law that is being broken and how it gets proven in a court of law.

What about as a woman on your own. Having a male staring at you continuously. Not looking away. Staring at your breasts. Is that life?

I have had groups of d*unken women stare at me on the tube and then discuss between themselves whether I am that “big” all over. "

And that is not acceptable either.

It isn't a competition.

Its about being respectful of others and their personal space.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Whilst it is not particularly pleasant to be leered at, to make it a crime is inappropriate. Pointing out that is not pleasant for women though may be appropriate.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I think when it becomes obvious then it’s unnerving.

I’ve never stared at someone continuously…I don’t like making anyone feel nervous around me and I hate seeing it too.

You can tell from facial expressions whether it’s warranted or not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So I was waiting for the tube the other day and I noticed this huge posted by the British Transport Police about Staring … or better inappropriate staring

And it said something about intrusive staring is sexual harassment and isn’t tolerated and encouraging to report the crime to the BTP

Now, my question is, what constitutes an inappropriate staring? Is it staring somebody for too long inappropriate?

It seems very vague but no wonders everyone is afraid of looking at everyone on the tube and end up staring into a shitty ad! Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Is this getting all a bit absurd?

Some of y’all tho are literally not even bothered to try and look a bit careful and coy (like moving urself to have a better view and check out type obvious) when in cars

but either way, I usually just mumble to myself “can you be any more obvious!?” And just carry on walking!

Staring, like burning a hole in the side of someone's head is rude agreed, but offensive, hmmm nor sure. "

I kinda hate that everyone feels like they need to stare at a focal point cos they are afraid of making eye contact

I saw a girl the other day, wear my dream pair of heels, she was super cute, so we sort of looked at each other and I smiled at her (so wanted those shoes

)

I think it’s nice to smile at people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It seems a bit “thought police” to consider arresting someone for where their eyes are pointing

I’m all for, as a society, condemning that kinda stuff

But things get weird when you bring the law into it

Thats what I mean, who judges the amount of time and all

I mean, also it’s so subjective I guess because some might find a quick wrong glance as inappropriate, and then what?

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"It seems a bit “thought police” to consider arresting someone for where their eyes are pointing

I’m all for, as a society, condemning that kinda stuff

But things get weird when you bring the law into it

Thats what I mean, who judges the amount of time and all

I mean, also it’s so subjective I guess because some might find a quick wrong glance as inappropriate, and then what?

It is not actually enforceable. It is a well meaning attempt by the police to encourage perceived safety on the tube - which should be applauded by any reasonable person- but in reality nothing will actually happen as a result of a complaint because of proof issues.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It seems a bit “thought police” to consider arresting someone for where their eyes are pointing

I’m all for, as a society, condemning that kinda stuff

But things get weird when you bring the law into it

Thats what I mean, who judges the amount of time and all

I mean, also it’s so subjective I guess because some might find a quick wrong glance as inappropriate, and then what?

I see, but I think in part is also creating a society, particularly in London, or the big cities, where everyone is almost scared to look at each other in the eyes in a purely friendly way, because of that.

Next will be … don’t smile at my dog, it’s harassing ! (I LOVE SMILING AT DOGS!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't actually think it's that ridiculous to be honest.

If you've ever been alone in public and felt someone's eyes burning into you then you'll know exactly how unnerving it can be and I would agree that it is sexual harassment.

I do imagine it would be difficult to enforce, and so many do just stare into space with no thought or intent behind it. But maybe someone will see the sign and think twice about making a woman uncomfortable. And maybe multiple phonecalls could lead to police becoming aware of someone who targets women this way.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^ I also would like to say that I like to people watch. I am not against looking at people. But there's a big difference between glancing and having a look than purposely staring someone down to the point they are uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't actually think it's that ridiculous to be honest.

If you've ever been alone in public and felt someone's eyes burning into you then you'll know exactly how unnerving it can be and I would agree that it is sexual harassment.

I have many times, and I probably shouldn’t have to, what I did was moving somewhere else and get away from that person.

My point was how difficult it is to evaluate the situation and also, how it can be dealt

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"It seems a bit “thought police” to consider arresting someone for where their eyes are pointing

I’m all for, as a society, condemning that kinda stuff

But things get weird when you bring the law into it

Thats what I mean, who judges the amount of time and all

I mean, also it’s so subjective I guess because some might find a quick wrong glance as inappropriate, and then what?

Next will be … don’t smile at my dog, it’s harassing ! (I LOVE SMILING AT DOGS!)"

“And in your own words mr good boi, tell the court what happened”

“First he grabbed my fluffy rolls, then he rubbed by belly and called me a chonky floof. It was traumatising”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me "

Yes it said it’s sexual harassment on the poster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me "

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

Yes it said it’s sexual harassment on the poster "

I stare at weirdos all the time. Nothing sexual about it. If I’m in the gym and your grunting too loudly I’ll stare you out for being obnoxious.

Seems odd to automatically apply “sexual” to it

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Ridiculous! Whatever next? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men are desperate fucking pests.

It’ll never change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

. Has anyone actually been arrested for staring at someone?! What if they have something wrong with their eyes? Autistic people do that a lot too. Are they going to arrest them all? Jesus wept

I don’t know but it definitely encourages people to report it to the British transport police

with phone line and all

Fucks sake. Don’t think I’ve ever been stared at. I’d probably just stare them out.

We'll have to have a " Staring " contest ..you seem quite confident..

Bring it on

Ten paces or face to face ??

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

Yes it said it’s sexual harassment on the poster "

I doubt it's sexual harassment when people stare at me. It's because I'm a woman in a wheelchair, I'm definitely not worth staring at for any sexual reason.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not a fan of being stared at it makes me feel so conscious and uncomfortable

I’m with you on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it "

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments. "

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"^ I also would like to say that I like to people watch. I am not against looking at people. But there's a big difference between glancing and having a look than purposely staring someone down to the point they are uncomfortable. "

If harrasment is defined as how someone feels (which is what I think you said in an earlier post) then what happens if you are “people watching” and I think you are “staring”? What if I claim that I felt sexually harassed?

I would imagine your answer would be “don’t be so bloody ridiculous!” but how do you untangle that?

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling "

Exactly this. In all criminal cases the “mens rea” has to be established. The guilty intent of the accused. Without an explicit admission it’s a non starter…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling "

I reread them. I completely misunderstood you. I am really struggling lately because I'm such a dumb feminist. I hope you can forgive me woman lover.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

Exactly this. In all criminal cases the “mens rea” has to be established. The guilty intent of the accused. Without an explicit admission it’s a non starter…"

Automatically applying “sexual” to staring would be like to guys having a fight outside the pub and then arresting them for sexual assault

Sometimes it’s just harassment or assault. Nothing sexual about it

By automatically applying sexual to it, what your basically saying is

“Unless the harassment is of a sexual nature, we don’t care”

Also, to be arrested for sexual harassment comes with addition things like being added to a list. Limits with where you can work potentially. Is it fair to arrest someone staring at a weirdo and automatically lump them in with sexual predators? I don’t think so

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

I reread them. I completely misunderstood you. I am really struggling lately because I'm such a dumb feminist. I hope you can forgive me woman lover.

Well your childish sarcasm says all I need to know I’m your ability to have an adult discussion so I’ll leave it there. Wish you the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

Exactly this. In all criminal cases the “mens rea” has to be established. The guilty intent of the accused. Without an explicit admission it’s a non starter…

Automatically applying “sexual” to staring would be like to guys having a fight outside the pub and then arresting them for sexual assault

Sometimes it’s just harassment or assault. Nothing sexual about it

By automatically applying sexual to it, what your basically saying is

“Unless the harassment is of a sexual nature, we don’t care”

But the topic and the posters are about sexual harassment as Kylie said? Staring can be another kind of harassment as KC2020 said and could be equally as uncomfortable but isn't something the BTP have decided to highlight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

I reread them. I completely misunderstood you. I am really struggling lately because I'm such a dumb feminist. I hope you can forgive me woman lover.

? You did misunderstand. He didn't imply what you said he implied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would imagine your answer would be “don’t be so bloody ridiculous!” but how do you untangle that?"

You can't untangle it, if that is how you feel then that is how you feel. But you know yourself it would be ridiculous to try and claim that I was sexually harassing you by having a quick look at you. And that's why you could probably never enforce this kind of thing, because it's so complex.

All I was saying, is that sexual staring does exist and can easily pass as sexual harassment. If you want to use me as example of watching someone feed the duckies as sexual harassment, then fine. But when you've been sexually stared down and felt a man undressing you with his eyes you'll know why some would be in agreement with the poster displayed on the tubes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

I reread them. I completely misunderstood you. I am really struggling lately because I'm such a dumb feminist. I hope you can forgive me woman lover.

Well your childish sarcasm says all I need to know I’m your ability to have an adult discussion so I’ll leave it there. Wish you the best

Thanks bestie. You're a good egg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

I reread them. I completely misunderstood you. I am really struggling lately because I'm such a dumb feminist. I hope you can forgive me woman lover.

? You did misunderstand. He didn't imply what you said he implied. "

Did you not read what I wrote? I said I misunderstood.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

Exactly this. In all criminal cases the “mens rea” has to be established. The guilty intent of the accused. Without an explicit admission it’s a non starter…

Automatically applying “sexual” to staring would be like to guys having a fight outside the pub and then arresting them for sexual assault

Sometimes it’s just harassment or assault. Nothing sexual about it

By automatically applying sexual to it, what your basically saying is

“Unless the harassment is of a sexual nature, we don’t care”

True, my question is how we distinguish between the 2. And why they are highlighting that type only.

Sexual harrasdment carries a more serious penalty I believe? (Might be wrong)

So when they are so difficult to distinguish it seems like tricky territory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

I reread them. I completely misunderstood you. I am really struggling lately because I'm such a dumb feminist. I hope you can forgive me woman lover.

? You did misunderstand. He didn't imply what you said he implied.

Did you not read what I wrote? I said I misunderstood.

It read as sarcastic. Very. I'm bemused now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also people that say it’s sexual harassment

Why sexual?

Maybe I’m staring because you look like a fucking weirdo and this is just another day at the zoo for me

I will just say that the people who get it, get it. And the people that don't won't ever understand.

I guess that’s the issue though isn’t it.

“If you know, you know” will never stand up in court. It’s an empty threat by the police.

Hopefully it’ll make some people reconsider, but I doubt it. Those that want to stare will and there’s nothing the law can do about it

And that's exactly why I said it would be difficult to enforce...

Staring comes in many forms, it's never pleasant but you're a fool to deny that staring of a sexual nature doesn't exist which is what you're implying in your previous comments.

I never implied it doesn’t exist. I said it’s odd to automatically apply sexual to any form of staring

Reread my posts if your struggling

Exactly this. In all criminal cases the “mens rea” has to be established. The guilty intent of the accused. Without an explicit admission it’s a non starter…

Automatically applying “sexual” to staring would be like to guys having a fight outside the pub and then arresting them for sexual assault

Sometimes it’s just harassment or assault. Nothing sexual about it

By automatically applying sexual to it, what your basically saying is

“Unless the harassment is of a sexual nature, we don’t care”

True, my question is how we distinguish between the 2. And why they are highlighting that type only.

Sexual harrasdment carries a more serious penalty I believe? (Might be wrong)

So when they are so difficult to distinguish it seems like tricky territory "

It's impossibly tricky territory. When r@pists aren't being taken to court - the numbers are tiny - why spend energy on really difficult to prove low-level harassment. It's virtue signalling.