FabSwingers.com forum: Warning Double Protection

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies this is a warning for all your benefits do not just rely on condoms alone.

I am on the wait list to be steralized.

So was using condoms only remember a few weeks ago when I said about the condom splitting. Well I took the morning after pill.

Regular guy I know he is clean but.

I have just found out that I am pregnant.

I have the weekend to think about it and am booking an appointment at the doctors next week.

Some may knock me but I am doing the only sensible thing as I do not want to be a single parent to three children.

I have raised my two solo and I can not go through it again.

So this is a warning to all you ladies to think about full protection not just against stds.

And I am hanging my swinging hat up for the time being until my head is back in the right place and when I am fully 100% protected x

Love to you all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies this is a warning for all your benefits do not just rely on condoms alone.

I am on the wait list to be steralized.

So was using condoms only remember a few weeks ago when I said about the condom splitting. Well I took the morning after pill.

Regular guy I know he is clean but.

I have just found out that I am pregnant.

I have the weekend to think about it and am booking an appointment at the doctors next week.

Some may knock me but I am doing the only sensible thing as I do not want to be a single parent to three children.

I have raised my two solo and I can not go through it again.

So this is a warning to all you ladies to think about full protection not just against stds.

And I am hanging my swinging hat up for the time being until my head is back in the right place and when I am fully 100% protected x

Love to you all x"

Hope all goes well and works out right for you x

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Good luck sweetheart... No-one should judge you, its your decision for your body. I rely on condoms only, will be thinking about that a bit more now. Take care xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck , an awful situation for you . Sending you massive hugs.

You don't need to justify yourself its your life and your body.

Angel xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck , an awful situation for you . Sending you massive hugs.

You don't need to justify yourself its your life and your body.

Angel xx"

+1. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck hun hope all works out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry life has dealt you this blow.None of us can say what we'd do in anothers situation, and i admire your honesty, best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is why I love this place love you guys crying for England very emotional. Cant talk to friends or mum but can talk to you guys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not judging you. Hope everything works out ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Wow thats some place to find yourself in especially when you took the correct precautions afterwards

I agree that you don't need to justify yourself to anyone on here,you're doing the right thing for you in a very difficult and unexpected situation and thats all that matters x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really feel for you. So sorry to hear about this, I do hope that you'll be ok x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

wow, sounds like you took all necessary precautions. There would be no doubt in my mind what the right thing to do would be but everybodies circumstances are different.

Best of luck, mistakes happen though do not feel bad about making the right decision, though it maybe hard, it is the simpliest one too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hope all works out for you, best wishes xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the very best Shaz....

It is good to see someone acting so responsibly where babies are concerned... It's not easy.... Xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So sorry life has dealt you this blow.None of us can say what we'd do in anothers situation, and i admire your honesty, best wishes x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Good luck and stay strong. Hopefully your post may get others thinking. Hugs xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope all works out for you and you soon get your head straight! Lot for you to take on on your own!

Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully all will read this post and think twice that condoms are not reliable....good on you for being honest ,no one can judge you...its your life and your body...good luck and hugglesx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whatever u decide, the sooner the better. goodluck

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

No one should judge you if they have not walked in your shoes.. Life has a funny way of working at times.. giving you the warmest of hugs.. xx

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

So sorry that you find yourself in this predicament and wish you all the best in whatever you decide xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"whatever u decide, the sooner the better. goodluck "

I think she knows that....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good,luck Hope it works out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've acted resonsible and it was purely an accident. So no one should be judging you. All the best for the future and stay strong at this trying of times. Hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely no one has the right to judge you. You are going through a personal hell and yet you are on here bare your soul for the benefit of others. what is there to judge. You did not get into this situation alone yet you appear to be dealing with it alone. I know what I would do I cannot have another child would not be fair to my disabled child and I have no problem in saying if I got pregnant I would not continue the pregnancy but I not you and only you can possibly know what's best for you. I have a implant and use condoms but even that is not one hundred percent nothin is. I do not know you but you are in my thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Absolutely no one has the right to judge you. You are going through a personal hell and yet you are on here bare your soul for the benefit of others. what is there to judge. You did not get into this situation alone yet you appear to be dealing with it alone. I know what I would do I cannot have another child would not be fair to my disabled child and I have no problem in saying if I got pregnant I would not continue the pregnancy but I not you and only you can possibly know what's best for you. I have a implant and use condoms but even that is not one hundred percent nothin is. I do not know you but you are in my thoughts "

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Awwwww Shazza what an awful position to be in, hope it all works out for you and you are back with us soon.

A and K

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why I love this place love you guys crying for England very emotional. Cant talk to friends or mum but can talk to you guys x"

You're right - doesn't matter that many on here will never meet further than via the keyboard - there are some absolute gems on here!

Hope all goes ok for you. You've been as sensible/responsible as anyone could be. There's no judgement that could possibly be made! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big X, take care of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will always be those that judge Shazza but take solace in the fact that by far and large you have the love and best wishes of the majority of forumites behind you in what must be a very emotional and trying time.

Good Luck and Bussy Hugs x

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

Best wishes xx

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Sending huge hugs to you xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to hear that you are in a very difficult situation...i hope you make the right decisions for you.

good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear your in such an awful position, totally respect your decision. Stay strong. (((((huggles)))))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very brave of you to bare yourself so openly, I take my hat off to you. No one has the right to judge you, you will do what is best for you, and the best of luck to you. Recently my dsughter had to make such a difficult decision, but due to health issues, she had the choice of going blind or at worse dying if the pregnancy continued, and as she has 2 girls to think about she didnt feel she had an option.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I (Mrs) completely understand the heartache you are experiencing right now and the tough desicion you need to make. I wish you all the strength you need to get through it whatever the outcome

L xx

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By *ig jugsWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I know I will be hated for this but you must know I am not judging you, and you have to do what is right for you and your family but for someone like me I find this hard to read as I cannot have children and IVF is too expensive and I would kill to have a child so I cant really agree with you not aborting it or even telling everyone on here when people like me would adopt or love to be in your position.As I say I am in no way judging you but I can just see it from a different perspective. Take care and I hope it all works out well x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it wouldnt even be a consideration for me. If i fell pregnant it would be aborted as quickly as possible. Good luck and hope the op goes smoothly for you xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know I will be hated for this but you must know I am not judging you, and you have to do what is right for you and your family but for someone like me I find this hard to read as I cannot have children and IVF is too expensive and I would kill to have a child so I cant really agree with you not aborting it or even telling everyone on here when people like me would adopt or love to be in your position.As I say I am in no way judging you but I can just see it from a different perspective. Take care and I hope it all works out well x"

I have three options to keep. To carry for 9 months and become attached sorry but I could never give my baby away or the hardest decision I have ever had to make which is a termination not just thinking about me but my family too x

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

what an awful thing to happen to you,no one has the right to judge you

stay strong and the most massive hug to you xxx

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By *azzasheeneMan
over a year ago

kent

Have you told the 'regular' guy? I hope he's not on fab because reading the forum wouldn't be the best way to find out.

Even worse when a bunch of strangers knew about it before him.

Lets spare a moment for the guy too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was kinda waiting for a response like this.

Life is as unquestionably cruel as it is kind and throws in it's curve balls to create an unbalanced / unfair equilibrium like this.

What is someones worst scenario would be another persons best possible one.

Best wishes to you also and good on you for being 'brave' enough to post on what must be a difficult and emotive thread for you x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Have you told the 'regular' guy? I hope he's not on fab because reading the forum wouldn't be the best way to find out.

Even worse when a bunch of strangers knew about it before him.

Lets spare a moment for the guy too!"

I think she may of covered that issue first off... I know shaz and I don't think she is really that stupid....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its your life and your body AND your choice. Having been a single parent I understand totally your decision.

Best wishes. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good idea to post your concerns sorry you have to go through a difficult decision i have had the snip so fortunatly double protected lol take care x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

There are probably support groups or independent people you can talk to. I suppose we all are here - but speaking in person to someone might help.

Id say to go with your immediate gut feeling and trust it.

Speak to the guy though as it shouldnt be an exclusive decision. I believe the woman should make the ultimate decision with absolute knowledge of what the future will hold though.

Best of luck whichever xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are probably support groups or independent people you can talk to. I suppose we all are here - but speaking in person to someone might help.

Id say to go with your immediate gut feeling and trust it.

Speak to the guy though as it shouldnt be an exclusive decision. I believe the woman should make the ultimate decision with absolute knowledge of what the future will hold though.

Best of luck whichever xx"

He is totally aware of the situation and he dont want any more children all it was, Was a bit of fun. I am going in for initial counselling on Monday. But my mind is made up. Only 4 weeks so still early x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to be honest with you i think your doing the right thing if you are worried about how you will cope alone with another child

Its easy to stick your head in the sand and hope everything will turn out ok and bring a child into this world that you struggle to cope with, it happens all the time, its a lot harder to stand up and do what you know is for the best inside, rather than putting on a show for other people and doing what you think they want you to do

I wish you all the best x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

im no good at saying the right thing in situations for the most but, keep yourself good

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Best wishes to you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a terrible situation! Rock and a hard place comes to mind but from all that u have said shazza I think ur defiantly making the right decision. Not fair on u or the child to that isn't truly wanted.

As for the other side of the coin I understand that too but I think u have to be a special sort of person to e able to carry a child and willingly give it away! Surrogates r able to look at it as a business transaction I guess, to grow a child is a very special thing and I know I would live it before its birth.

Life is hard regardless of which side ur on.

Good luck shazza and know that ur form friends r here to support u at least xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the best love i know all of fab family will b thinkin of u xxxxxxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies this is a warning for all your benefits do not just rely on condoms alone.

I am on the wait list to be steralized.

So was using condoms only remember a few weeks ago when I said about the condom splitting. Well I took the morning after pill.

Regular guy I know he is clean but.

I have just found out that I am pregnant.

I have the weekend to think about it and am booking an appointment at the doctors next week.

Some may knock me but I am doing the only sensible thing as I do not want to be a single parent to three children.

I have raised my two solo and I can not go through it again.

So this is a warning to all you ladies to think about full protection not just against stds.

And I am hanging my swinging hat up for the time being until my head is back in the right place and when I am fully 100% protected x

Love to you all x"

Hold on a sec... an innocent life has to be lost because what... you weren't careful?

That's hardly fair is it.

If you knew you were still able to get pregnant and relied on condoms to prevent it then why should an unborn baby pay for your mistake?

I don't agree with abortion under any circumstances (except rape or if pregnancy would kill the mother) because there is a choice to prevent yourself getting pregnant in the first place.

You mentioned the father being 'clean' so it makes me question whether you use condoms as protection against STDs and completely disregarded the risk of pregnancy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one has the right to judge. Every one has opinions beliefs etc but who are we to judge no one is perfect just some think they are. I would not continue a pregnancy I use condoms and have a implant so take precautions but I have a disable child to consider. Those who say no abortion do you say I should not have sex just in case. If I was going bare back and not using implant or pill etc then that's different but I take double precautions. OP is on here for others benefit we should not judge. we swingers should that not mean we more open minded. Beliefs are one thing af judgmental is another

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ladies this is a warning for all your benefits do not just rely on condoms alone.

I am on the wait list to be steralized.

So was using condoms only remember a few weeks ago when I said about the condom splitting. Well I took the morning after pill.

Regular guy I know he is clean but.

I have just found out that I am pregnant.

I have the weekend to think about it and am booking an appointment at the doctors next week.

Some may knock me but I am doing the only sensible thing as I do not want to be a single parent to three children.

I have raised my two solo and I can not go through it again.

So this is a warning to all you ladies to think about full protection not just against stds.

And I am hanging my swinging hat up for the time being until my head is back in the right place and when I am fully 100% protected x

Love to you all x

Hold on a sec... an innocent life has to be lost because what... you weren't careful?

That's hardly fair is it.

If you knew you were still able to get pregnant and relied on condoms to prevent it then why should an unborn baby pay for your mistake?

I don't agree with abortion under any circumstances (except rape or if pregnancy would kill the mother) because there is a choice to prevent yourself getting pregnant in the first place.

You mentioned the father being 'clean' so it makes me question whether you use condoms as protection against STDs and completely disregarded the risk of pregnancy. "

Wishy was there really any need for that. Sometimes what you think are better left un said and kept to yourself.. Its up to her what decision she makes and you don't have to live her life...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ladies this is a warning for all your benefits do not just rely on condoms alone.

I am on the wait list to be steralized.

So was using condoms only remember a few weeks ago when I said about the condom splitting. Well I took the morning after pill.

Regular guy I know he is clean but.

I have just found out that I am pregnant.

I have the weekend to think about it and am booking an appointment at the doctors next week.

Some may knock me but I am doing the only sensible thing as I do not want to be a single parent to three children.

I have raised my two solo and I can not go through it again.

So this is a warning to all you ladies to think about full protection not just against stds.

And I am hanging my swinging hat up for the time being until my head is back in the right place and when I am fully 100% protected x

Love to you all x

Hold on a sec... an innocent life has to be lost because what... you weren't careful?

That's hardly fair is it.

If you knew you were still able to get pregnant and relied on condoms to prevent it then why should an unborn baby pay for your mistake?

I don't agree with abortion under any circumstances (except rape or if pregnancy would kill the mother) because there is a choice to prevent yourself getting pregnant in the first place.

You mentioned the father being 'clean' so it makes me question whether you use condoms as protection against STDs and completely disregarded the risk of pregnancy. "

always use condoms this one split I took the morning after pill and still got pregnant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

every women has the rights to decide what they do with their body

If a child isnt wanted, in my opinion, its better thats its not born than be born into a world where its unwanted, unloved and uncared for

Pregancies arnt always the result of unsafe sex, i got pregnant after my ex had the snip so you cant say that was my fault for not being careful

Ok i had the child as i was in a marrage at the time, had it happened when i was single with someone i just swung with as a result of a condom coming off or splitting i dont think id feel the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't agree with abortion under any circumstances (except rape or if pregnancy would kill the mother) "

that is a bit of a contradiction

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

There is no form of contraception that is 100% safe apart from the word no

I think its really unfair to suggest that the OP was'nt careful,she did the next thing she possibly could after the contraception she chose failed,she did what any sensible person would do and what any GP would have advised which was take the morning after pill,which still did'nt work

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue with certain posts and right now im almost biting it off

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

No life is being lost and no one has the right to impose their reproductive fascism on anyone. And I do not give a shit who agrees or disagrees with me. This woman is making the right decision for her. Good luck babes. I wish you well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good luck , an awful situation for you . Sending you massive hugs.

You don't need to justify yourself its your life and your body.

Angel xx

+1. x"

+ another 1

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Please don't name call in this thread,try to debate like adults with a calm mind or you'll find you won't be able to post at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what, its a tragic set of circumstances and all those directly involved will be hurt on one level or another and it will take time to recover and heal.

For that, OP, you have my sympathies and heartfelt best wishes. May your God go with you and may you get all the support and care you need to guide you through this and the times ahead.

To everyone else - is this REALLY the thread to start taking sticks to each other? Trust me, on issues like this that polarise people so quickly and to emotively, No One is going to come out unscathed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The situation is not fair if I was happily settled would be a completely different story. I am not it was an accident.

Is it fair to bring another child in to the world to be a single mother again. To give up a job that I love and to go on benefits to support another child and to struggle not just financially but emotionally too. And to put that on to my other children. Do I want this child to be resented x

There are a lot of questions that i need to answer and make decisions on my own and its up to me.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"There is no form of contraception that is 100% safe apart from the word no

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue with certain posts and right now im almost biting it off

Said it so much better than I could HPC, my ruddy tongue is nigh on bitten thru now...I very much appreciate Shazza posting this as a warning regardless of her heartbreaking decision - I'm still fertile (I guess, never having had children) and rely purely on condoms for both contraception and protection - have in the past had condoms split once or twice and if the bloke hasn't had the snip I've taken the morning after pill as well as made a clap clinic visit couple of weeks later...Now I'm thinking about other contraception methods as a further backup

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if ever there was a thread that needs kindness, caring and support for a fellow swinger, this is it.

it also reaffirms that professional support should never be replaced by internet kindness

all the best, hope it works out whatever your choice is.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"The situation is not fair if I was happily settled would be a completely different story. I am not it was an accident.

There are a lot of questions that i need to answer and make decisions on my own and its up to me."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No life is being lost and no one has the right to impose their reproductive fascism on anyone. And I do not give a shit who agrees or disagrees with me. This woman is making the right decision for her. Good luck babes. I wish you well."

i honestly dont think theres a right or wrong when it comes to abortion, no matter how the child is conceived, its the womens body and the woman who will sit in and bring it up so the only choice that matters is hers and what she wants to do

lets be honest in this situation where someones met you for a shag and you get pregnant is the dad really going to be there for you? is he bollocks, most guys on here dont even give you their real name and have a shag phone so you dont know their usual number, and would be off like a shot soon as they realise whats happening, off to carry on their life as normal without giving this child a second thought, yet the womans supposed to lay in the bed she made while the guys off into the sunset off to shag his next meet?

fuck that and thats swearing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The situation is not fair if I was happily settled would be a completely different story. I am not it was an accident.

There are a lot of questions that i need to answer and make decisions on my own and its up to me."

sharon you dont have to justify yourself to anyone on here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found myself in same situation last summer... though not through fab. I had a termination at 7 weeks... Paid privately through Bpas. I will be honest and say i found the nhs treated me like a naughty school girl as opposed to a married mother of 3 hence why i went private. Its not an easy decision but as long as you are 100% certain then you know you are doing what is right for you and your family. There is nothing wrong with abortion.... It is legal for a reason. And just because other people cant have children or are opposed to abortion it doesnt give them a right to judge. Chin up... I know its horrible but it will be over soon and you will know you have done the right thing xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know we are thinking of you Shazza, in such a hard time for you, but one where you are not alone, we can't hold your hand literally but we most definitely are metaphorically.

You did everything you possibly could and we greatly admire your tenacity to post here of your experience.

Regardless of our _iews or anyone else's on abortion, it is your body and your choice.

Stay strong & positive, life throws you curveballs at times, but from our knowledge of you via the forums, you have the capacity to make the right decision for your life and you are a strong lady.

The future is bright for you at the end of this temporary darkened tunnel.

Love & support to you.

M&J

xxx

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Please don't name call in this thread,try to debate like adults with a calm mind or you'll find you won't be able to post at all "

thought it was quite a good post all the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wishy was there really any need for that. Sometimes what you think are better left un said and kept to yourself.. Its up to her what decision she makes and you don't have to live her life... "

If she only wanted fluffy bunny replies this forum probably wasn't the best place to post about an unplanned pregnancy, and let's be honest here, it was a little condescending of the OP to post it as a 'Warning to everyone else' like we weren't aware of the risks of unprotected sex (or sex where a condom splits, pill fails whatever).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fuck that and thats swearing"

You're absolutely spot on NN. Shaz, you are a very brave woman for highlighting the situation you've found yourself in. You're in my thoughts Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wishy was there really any need for that. Sometimes what you think are better left un said and kept to yourself.. Its up to her what decision she makes and you don't have to live her life...

Wish i lived in this bubble

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

As someone who has prayed and cried for a child every single day for over 3 years, this is a really hard thread to read.

However, I wouldn't wish your situation on my worst enemy and wish you the best.

Life is really so unfair.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Wishy was there really any need for that. Sometimes what you think are better left un said and kept to yourself.. Its up to her what decision she makes and you don't have to live her life...

But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also there is no method which gives 100% guarantee of preventing pregnancy... Even sterilisation can fail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So sorry life has dealt you this blow.None of us can say what we'd do in anothers situation, and i admire your honesty, best wishes x

here tae all the best xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also there is no method which gives 100% guarantee of preventing pregnancy... Even sterilisation can fail. "

there is none, full hysterectomy as far as i know is the only things thats 100%

My ex huisband had a vasectomy that failed and i got pregnant

its few and far between but it happens

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

How unlucky, a condom splits, you take the morning after pill and that doesnt work either. Hope you get sorted.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck in whatever you decide is the right option for you, only you can make that choice and no one should judge you either way. I guess I'm lucky in that its not something I have to worry about as I definitely can no longer get pregnant but I have to admit that I do worry that my other half could get someone pregnant in the event of an "accident"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

I sure do, but our experiences shape us and the way we think about certain issues. A child of mine was aborted when I was 19. I wanted that child but she decided abortion was the best option for her and I had no say in the matter. I was the child's father yet my rights didn't have any part to play in it at all, but you can bet your bottom dollar if she'd had the child and decided she didn't want me in her life I'd suddenly become very culpable and have to start paying (which I would have anyway). That child would have been 28 now and probably a parent him/herself.

Ever since then I have been anti-abortion and I almost jumped for joy recently when proposals to reduce the time available for abortion to twelve weeks were put forward. It should have been 24 hours in my opinion and if the morning after pill doesn't work then tough, deal with the consequences of one's actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty disgusted at the mention of abortion being unacceptable as a choice, and I mean this to both OP and the partner of the time.Whether its safe sex or not, with anyone..it was sex.Bringing up a child to me should be about 2parents equally wanting a child.I'd wish more people would have sense to abort than add to a list of notplanned children.Seek no justification from others when it comes to ur own body and future!

Really dont think I want to rant on this thread.

Take care OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

Thankfully even our goverment has more sense and this opinion will always remain just that.... An opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

...... you're all heart Wishy. A wooden one.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP....it looks like you have made your mind up what you are doing and obviously this is your right. I would never condemn any woman who has to make this decision as it is their body and their life and you should always do what is right for you.

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the OP....it looks like you have made your mind up what you are doing and obviously this is your right. I would never condemn any woman who has to make this decision as it is their body and their life and you should always do what is right for you.

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew."

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Fact is the OP has every right to do what she wants with her own life/body....

But why the hell she felt the need to announce to everyone on here that she was having a termination is beyond me!!!!!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I find it perturbing that women would think that other women dont consider both aspects...ie...STDs AND pregnancy prevention, although i will acceopt some may take undue risks whereas others wouldnt. I thought both aspects were a given in this lifestyle, but i maybe wrong.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fact is the OP has every right to do what she wants with her own life/body....

But why the hell she felt the need to announce to everyone on here that she was having a termination is beyond me!!!!!

I didnt see her announce she was having a termination anywhere and even if she did... So what?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

This is obviously one of those threads which is actually allowed to not be pink and fluffy.

I'm feeling all nostalgic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some naive on this site so I do believe the OP was genuine in her wanting to warn some females on here who may think condoms are all you need after all how many times have you seem a forum where those who use condoms do not see the need to be tested. I think anythin that opens some eyes to the realitys of our lifestyle is a good thing and that the lady's intention should not be questioned when there are those on this site who are blind to some realitys. I have my opinions about other topics on here that I really do not see myself ever agreeing to such as bareback not to bare back is my choice it does not make me any better than ladies that will it's my choice not to and their choice to no one is wrong no one is right. I far from perfect. For example I meet married men many will not so I hardly in a position to get all moral on bare back or indeed any other topic. No one is faultless esp me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its nice to see everyone being so supportive but is this really an appropriate place to be broadcasting somethinig SO personal???

I cant imagine shouting about such an emotional, personal time to the whole of fab-very brave! For me, somethings should remain private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew."

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

The only safe, 100% reliable contraception is no sex. It wouldn't matter if the OP was on the pill, double bagged with a condom and fendom, and bounced on a trampoline for an hour after sex, there is always a risk of pregnancy when ejaculation is involved. And as abortion and the morning after pill are also classed as birth control (as in, it prevents birth) then why not use all methods available when an unwanted pregnancy occurs?

It sounds like the OP and gentleman in question have discussed this, and agreed not to proceed with the pregnancy. Therefore there is no reason why she shouldn't terminate it. Better that than risk 9 months of illness, heightened risk of death, an unwanted child, and struggling to give all children a good life on benefits.

It seems that people just can't win sometimes. Terminate and be villified as a thoughtless jezebel, keep the child and be villified for having children and claming benefits. Being a single parent is HARD! I stopped at one and struggled, so can't even concieve of having more, especially at my age. I am on the coil but have always said if I got pregnant I would be down the doctors with a coathanger as, at 45, the risk to me and the baby would be just too high.

I think forcing women to have children when contraception fails is going down a path that is unacceptable. This is not the dark ages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew."

Yes the warning is valid and hopefully some woman will learn from this. Tbh for someone who didn't want any more kids and was waiting to be sterilised I would have thought the smartest thing would be to use several forms of protection but that's just my oppinion.

When I first read this it did suprise me to read such personal stuff being aired on a public forum. It's very private decision and something I would have thought could have been kept private and your point about contraception still could have gotten said. Now this thread has become all about terminations rather than the original topic. And yes I know it's great all the support but the post was started to make others aware that condoms alone aren't enough.

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

All the best, Shaz. Your body, your choice, regardeless of what anyone else says/ thinks. x

I wonder if some men always check that anyone they play with is using some other form of contraception in addition to condoms..? I doubt so...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"All the best, Shaz. Your body, your choice, regardeless of what anyone else says/ thinks. x

I wonder if some men always check that anyone they play with is using some other form of contraception in addition to condoms..? I doubt so...

"
To a certain extent i agree with your post, but people can lie about their sexual health and whether or not they are at risk from unwanted pregancy also.

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"All the best, Shaz. Your body, your choice, regardeless of what anyone else says/ thinks. x

I wonder if some men always check that anyone they play with is using some other form of contraception in addition to condoms..? I doubt so...

To a certain extent i agree with your post, but people can lie about their sexual health and whether or not they are at risk from unwanted pregancy also."

True, they can indeed. But at least the subject would have come up

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"All the best, Shaz. Your body, your choice, regardeless of what anyone else says/ thinks. x

I wonder if some men always check that anyone they play with is using some other form of contraception in addition to condoms..? I doubt so...

To a certain extent i agree with your post, but people can lie about their sexual health and whether or not they are at risk from unwanted pregancy also.

True, they can indeed. But at least the subject would have come up

I've had maybe a dozen men check about contraception/ inform me they'd had the snip in addition to using condoms, though. In most cases there is no question from them. Contraception is still sadly often seen by many as down to the woman."
I dont think its a "blame the guys" thing although i take on board what you have said and agree again, but i will say we ( as women) need to just manage the risks if there are any as we are left holding the baby so to speak, its not the guys fault, its how we are bioligically made, and some, may just look for someone to blame in a situation they are not happy about being in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew."

It's a strange thing tho Ruggers about Fab in general and The Forums in particular.

The site is a great leveller for most and I tend to find that people do 'open up' about things that affect their lives more honestly than they would in every day life.

Not all, but some.

There exists, whether some recognise it or not, a sense of community and camaraderie that can lull us into a sense of perceived security.

Add to that the fact that we are told that writing things down can be a great way of expressing emotion and you have the recipe for a thread such as this.

In terms of the 'warning' I think that is perhaps a badly chosen set of words that people should be able to recognise.

Irregardless of what the back story is, the OP has found herself in a position she would sooner not be in and wisely or unwisely has chosen to share that experience with us.

I can see why some may see it as an error of judgement (and I too can see why they might think that) but in all fairness, I see the thread as a knee jerk to finding herself in an unenviable position (for the most part) and in light of her not having strong family relationships has shared that position with us instead.

Personally I see no harm in that and I think that the OP in this case is experienced enough in the forums to know that whilst the majority would offer compassion and understanding, she was probably acutely aware that some feathers would be ruffled.

I think overall the thread has run a much steadier path than it could have !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

i understand your feelings i really do

I dont think i could have an abortion, i would have to be put in that possition to know for sure

but that does not mean i think everyoen should share my _iews

if abortions was banned what would happen to all the unwanted kids, more would live in homes where they was unloved, social servies cant sope as it is and care homes would be over run, are care homes and being fostered from family to family rerally a stable unbringing for unwanted kids?

ok in a idea world all unwanted kids would be adopted out at birth to loving familys but as we all know its not an ideal world and that wouldnt happen would it

People would take their 'mistakes' home with them and take their unhappiness and frustration out on the child

harsh but i live in the real world and it happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew."

i have to admit i would never post such a personal thing on a sex site forum, but we all cope with things different, im quite a hard person and prefer to cope with my problems alone, not everyone is like that, some people need to talk about things and have advice and help from others, thats just not me, if it was me id have just gone and had it done and not told anyone at all, i would see it as if im not having the child why does anyone need to know its every been there, but ive never been one for talking about my problems and asking for help, i live being a huge wall lol

we all cope in different ways and if shaz finds this is her way of coping thats fine and upto her and i for one wont condone her for it

to be honest i personally feel this thread is more for her own reassurance on how others feel about the subject more than a warning to others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If u get pregnant whilst swinging and ur family don't know about it as its ur private life and ur friends in the real world don't know where would u suggest that she goes for a little support and compassion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst i sympathise with your position ,I can only hope the guy in question is fully aware ?.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst i sympathise with your position ,I can only hope the guy in question is fully aware ?....."

Shazza has stated in this thread, that yes he is, and he doesn't want anything to do with a baby.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

GLAD IM GOING OUT TONIGHT AS THERES ANOTHER 7 HOURS OF THIS LEFT TONIGHT!

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By *andyguy59Man
over a year ago

Gatwick

You did everything that you could reasonably be expected to in the first place.

Now you must do what is best for you and your family and no-one else.

Just do what you think is best for you....no-one here has the right to judge you...

Take care ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"GLAD IM GOING OUT TONIGHT AS THERES ANOTHER 7 HOURS OF THIS LEFT TONIGHT!

I want to go out and get steaming d*unk but too emotional for that x

Thank you for all the words of wisdom and like I have said before the forums have become a kind of an extended family. I cant talk about swinging or open up like this to family or friends so I talk to virtual strangers you guys and sometimes its better therapy than seeing a counsillor although I am going to see one on Monday.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Please, if you are going to post a _iew then do it without attacking other posters.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Now this might piss off a lot of people but what the hell....what I wouldn't have done was air it on a public forum dressed as a warning to others....but thats just my _iew.

i have to admit i would never post such a personal thing on a sex site forum, but we all cope with things different,

Of course they do. No one is denying that, it just wouldn't have been something I would do as I said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are probably support groups or independent people you can talk to. I suppose we all are here - but speaking in person to someone might help.

Id say to go with your immediate gut feeling and trust it.

Speak to the guy though as it shouldnt be an exclusive decision. I believe the woman should make the ultimate decision with absolute knowledge of what the future will hold though.

Best of luck whichever xx"

Whatever you decide Im sending healing thoughts your way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never relied on condoms as the only form of contraception for a variety of reasons.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"GLAD IM GOING OUT TONIGHT AS THERES ANOTHER 7 HOURS OF THIS LEFT TONIGHT!

I want to go out and get steaming d*unk but too emotional for that x

Good decision. It is not always easy to keep your own counsel. All the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can only give r _iew and send r support on wot ever u decide to do . But it is ur life no one knows only u wot maybe the right thing to do. Lots of hugs and kisses to u hun xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"If u get pregnant whilst swinging and ur family don't know about it as its ur private life and ur friends in the real world don't know where would u suggest that she goes for a little support and compassion! "

I am a bit confused by this.

A single get's knocked up by another single whilst having a bit of casual fun...... isn't that kinda what happens every day with vanilla folk?

Why would the fact you are on a swinging site need to come into it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"GLAD IM GOING OUT TONIGHT AS THERES ANOTHER 7 HOURS OF THIS LEFT TONIGHT!

I want to go out and get steaming d*unk but too emotional for that x

Relax, have bath and yes a glass of wine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shazza, I've not read all of this but I'd like to add my support and send you my very best wishes.

Nobody but you can know what is right for you and nobody should judge you for doing what you need to do.

You aren't in this situation through being irresponsible and you have yourself and your existing family to think of as well as the new life. You have nothing at all to feel bad about, whatever you decide.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I have cut down both of our posts because you rabbit on and it was very long

But yes, I know people use the forum for different things, but for me it wouldn't be where I would share something like this. I just think some things should be kept private but that's just my personal _iew.

The comment above about feathers ruffled....yes Shaz has taken any comments in her stride...it is a shame others didn't accept them the same way, after all an emotive subject like this will always get supporters and against.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a bit confused by this.

A single get's knocked up by another single whilst having a bit of casual fun...... isn't that kinda what happens every day with vanilla folk?

Why would the fact you are on a swinging site need to come into it?"

This is very true but I guess it's a hard thing to talk about with ur family! It's that u should know better syndrome

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes I have opened up. Naive yes trusting yes gullible yes. There are so many threads about bareback and safe sex vrs unsafe etc but the point of this was yes to get some support which omg I am so touched and the kindness showed by complete strangers that I never got from my own parents. But to say PROTECTION, PROTECTION, PROTECTION and not to rely on condoms alone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

i understand your feelings i really do

I dont think i could have an abortion, i would have to be put in that possition to know for sure

but that does not mean i think everyoen should share my _iews

ok in a idea world all unwanted kids would be adopted out at birth to loving familys but as we all know its not an ideal world and that wouldnt happen would it

People would take their 'mistakes' home with them and take their unhappiness and frustration out on the child

harsh but i live in the real world and it happens

People take their mistakes out on their children anyway, the existence of social services family division is evident enough of that. It's a strange connection to make with child abuse and abortion but yes I accept that there probably will be feelings of resentment towards a child who it's mother couldn't dispose of when it was a foetus but I believe this breakdown in society we've seen over the past 20-30 years is due mainly to a collapse in family values and our reliance upon a throwaway society to cure us of any problems we generate whilst pursuing a selfish lifestyle.

It bothers me that when a 5y/o girl in Wales goes missing there is a national outcry of emotion but many thousands of unborn children die each year in abortion clinics at the hands of doctors with their mother's willing co-operation and when someone speaks out for those lost voices he/she is told to not judge others and a woman's body is her own. Yes it is her own, until she uses it to generate life, albeit unwittingly at times, and then her body isn't hers for the period that another life is growing inside it.

Abortion is legal in this country and I respect any woman's decision to go ahead with a termination, but I don't have to agree to it, I don't have to support it, and I shouldn't be silenced if I speak out against it.

I've never had a problem with Shazza on here before and I've enjoyed her posts. I wish her no ill will and she'll do what she feels is best for her and her family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wishy was there really any need for that. Sometimes what you think are better left un said and kept to yourself.. Its up to her what decision she makes and you don't have to live her life...

I'm not sorry for not falling over myself to say 'aw shucks, sorry luv' when we all know that when we become sexually active that there is a very high probability that at some point there will be children conceived as a result of it. If the OP absolutely didn't want anymore children she should have done something about it a lot sooner and laid off the sex until she was 100% certain she couldn't get pregnant."
ok i would like to put this _iew forward cause i had two children with a man and we were married. he left i actually thought i had been burgled until i realised it was just his stuff. he either pays nor gives a shit but me i bring them up on my own pay for them and not ask for anything for state or him. now if i could turn back time like fuck would i have had them with a guy who pleases himself while i struggle everyday. so glad u can keep your _iews as imo until u walked a mile in someone else shoes its wise not to judge as who knows when it will be us but then as a man u can always walk away while as a woman its very unlikely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you know better than I Wishy, the change that happens in a lady who has found herself with child, how emotional it is for her, the change in her hormones... and sometimes she just needs a hug.

a virtual hug, when no other type is available, is better than none.....

i understand your feelings i really do

I dont think i could have an abortion, i would have to be put in that possition to know for sure

but that does not mean i think everyoen should share my _iews

ok in a idea world all unwanted kids would be adopted out at birth to loving familys but as we all know its not an ideal world and that wouldnt happen would it

People would take their 'mistakes' home with them and take their unhappiness and frustration out on the child

harsh but i live in the real world and it happens

I've never had a problem with Shazza on here before and I've enjoyed her posts. I wish her no ill will and she'll do what she feels is best for her and her family. "
my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wishy is entitled to his _iews and if I could keep this baby I so would I would love and cherish bump like I have done alone with my two girls. I never thought I would be in this situation again not in a million years but it has happened x

So next question who wants to marry a single mother and help support and raise 3 children so we can all live happily ever after x Answers on a postcard please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wishy is entitled to his _iews and if I could keep this baby I so would I would love and cherish bump like I have done alone with my two girls. I never thought I would be in this situation again not in a million years but it has happened x

So next question who wants to marry a single mother and help support and raise 3 children so we can all live happily ever after x Answers on a postcard please x

"
lol xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admire your honesty and the decision you have made. I have no idea how hard that decision must be, and can only imagine! Hope you get yourself back on your feet soon xz

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"GLAD IM GOING OUT TONIGHT AS THERES ANOTHER 7 HOURS OF THIS LEFT TONIGHT!

I want to go out and get steaming d*unk but too emotional for that x

Take it easy, keep cool, have fun, and get that smile on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey honey it's fruit. Thinking of you and know your situation. I understand the decision you have made and respect you massively for posting on here. Hope you stay strong and sending hugs.

Ps the ankle is fine now and the use of your sofa was great lol.

Take care hunt.

Fruit (and fusion) xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey honey it's fruit. Thinking of you and know your situation. I understand the decision you have made and respect you massively for posting on here. Hope you stay strong and sending hugs.

Ps the ankle is fine now and the use of your sofa was great lol.

Take care hunt.

Fruit (and fusion) xxx"

Thanks fruity and you know you are welcome anytime hey do you fancy doing another Peterborough social sometime x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge "

Hold on a sec... I pleaded with the mother who aborted our baby 28 years ago to have the child and then I'd raise it if she didn't want anything to do with it, and that's when she claimed the moral high ground and said if she had the baby she could never give it away. She had no problem terminating it though, which I thought a tad hypocritical. I mourned that child as much as if it had been born and then passed away. Some men can - and do - walk away, many millions don't though and we take our responsibilities very seriously.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

For me i could never carry and bond with a baby then after carrying it for 9 months and give it away that would truly break my heart.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

I kind of get where you are coming from that if the man wanted the baby.. However in so many of these situations t hen men run a mile.. I am a victim of a man run a mile syndrome..

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

I kind of get where you are coming from that if the man wanted the baby.. However in so many of these situations t hen men run a mile.. I am a victim of a man run a mile syndrome.. "
A very small number of guys

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

I kind of get where you are coming from that if the man wanted the baby.. However in so many of these situations t hen men run a mile.. I am a victim of a man run a mile syndrome.. A very small number of guys

Quote your source?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oopsydaisy

hurry back

Wolf

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

Really... who know hey I just go on personal expereince and what I do for a living...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To Wishy,

You are totally entitled to your opinion, and Im sorry about your experience when you were 19.

However I am sorry you chose to kick the OP when she is down, motivated because of your experience and obvious pain you still feel.

It came across in your posts that you were hitting out at shazza rather than that girl who fell pregnant many years ago and made a decision you didnt agree with.

It has been good to hear other peoples opinions about prolife. And Im glad they have started their posts with 'im not judging you'!!

Shazza doesnt deserve a kicking in here when she is going through such a difficult time.

But a balanced debate about abortion/prolife is more positive.

I think what men and all women who havent been through an abortion need to bare in mind, is we have no idea what a woman facing that decision is going through!!

Lots of hugs to you shazza

xxx

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

Really... who know hey I just go on personal expereince and what I do for a living... "
So this is a guy bashing thread, tbh the woe is me is wearing a bit thin on the forums these days, not aimed at the OP or anyone in particular, but everything is a mans fault it seems.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's your body and your decision and I think you are making the right one.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"my problem with this _iew is as a man u don't have to take any of the responisblity unless u choose to but u can sit and judge

Really... who know hey I just go on personal expereince and what I do for a living... So this is a guy bashing thread, tbh the woe is me is wearing a bit thin on the forums these days, not aimed at the OP or anyone in particular, but everything is a mans fault it seems.

I never said that...

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By *umsuckMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

I have to say that as an anti-abortionist my initial reaction to the original post was 'you made your bed lie in it'. I can see however that it isn't as simple as that. Abortion as a means of belated contreception is evil,its murder and nothing anyone can say will convince me otherwise. I can see in this instance this is not the case. I'll be perfectly honest,I'm not sure how to reacte to this except to say. God bless!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly to op my thoughts are with you. And if you need one more ear to bash then you only have to message me.

I've not read all the posts so only answering to the first post. Many as I'm in the world's worst moods and can guess at some people's attitudes.

This is a hard decision whatever the reasons. I used to work with young mums and pregnant teenagers and went along with a few when they decided against carrying on with pregnancy. I saw first hand the torment.

My advice to them and to you is the same. You have to do what is right for you. And people that really care will support you no matter what.

All the best.

Cali

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Cheekychops- i never said you did.

Accidents happen....the OP has made her decision, its a difficult situation to be in....but why is it always about the guy running out on a woman to others? We all know how lots of women jump onto the "man bashing" threads, it takes two to do the horizontal tango.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Cheekychops- i never said you did.

Femme I get that... I know been there done that and got the t shirt... We are women sometimes take the brunt of the emotions associated with such events.. However so do men.. Men deal with things sometimes diffently along with women.. I do sometimes "man Bash" but come on men "women bash" too.. Its a difficult subject to approach I guess...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Cheekychops- i never said you did.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

What a great thread, so many differing _iews, it really made for a good discussion....so much better than all the vomit inducing sycophantic 'love ins' the forum has hosted lately....

Thanks to all who have taken part, it's been very interesting reading....and good luck to the Op with the choices she makes on the matter, only she knows what is right for her.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Cheekychops- i never said you did.

I know.. There are women and men that use the kids as weapons it is right no of course not.. I never saw that thread so can't comment...However I understand where you are coming from... x

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Cheekychops- i never said you did.

I know.. There are women and men that use the kids as weapons it is right no of course not.. I never saw that thread so can't comment...However I understand where you are coming from... x"
Like i said in my previous post hours ago its bad luck for the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *heekyladyCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Hope all goes well ..

No one should ever judge no matter what the situation ... Let them walk a mile in your shoes before they even think about judging.

You have to do what's right for you and yours

Sending you love and hugs xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I totally agree with people doing what is right for them and wish the op all the best I cannot agree with the statement no life is being lost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To Wishy,

You are totally entitled to your opinion, and Im sorry about your experience when you were 19.

However I am sorry you chose to kick the OP when she is down, motivated because of your experience and obvious pain you still feel.

It came across in your posts that you were hitting out at shazza rather than that girl who fell pregnant many years ago and made a decision you didnt agree with.

You're very wrong about me Oral, I came to terms with it a long long time ago but it did form my early opinions on abortion as at the time I was too young and inexperienced to have a _iew on it that was based on some form of education about it. Over time my _iews on abortion have been reinforced by documentaries like 'The Silent Scream' (Google it but be warned it hits hard). Intertwined with personal experience is my general stance on pro-Life as I have a huge interest in The Universe and the complexity of myriad chemical balances that have to be struck in order for life to exist and when you realise that there are literally millions of dead worlds out there and that there is this little ball of blue floating about in the vast inky blackness it's then you realise just what a miraculous set of circumstances have to be in play to create life, yet some casually throw it away like yesterday's garbage. I'm not anti-abortion because each aborted baby might become a world famous scientist or a life changing world leader but because life itself is miraculous to even exist and because we take it for granted we don't value the true beauty in it.

A bit off the beaten track I know but that's where my _iews originate from, not what a 19y/o girl did 28 years ago but that also formed part of who I am today.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

4 weeks pregnant it is known as a bunch of cells or to get technical blastocyst not even a fetus yet. Many miscarry at these early stages and that is what I will be doing technically bringing on a miscarriage x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

and it will be something that I have to live with every day for the rest of my life my due date if kept would be 16th May but I know in my heart that I am making the right decision x

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"4 weeks pregnant it is known as a bunch of cells or to get technical blastocyst not even a fetus yet. Many miscarry at these early stages and that is what I will be doing technically bringing on a miscarriage x"

OK, NOW you've overstepped the mark.

How dare you compare an abortion to a miscarriage??? I had a miscarriage. I wanted that baby with every fibre in my body and I did NOTHING to deserve loosing it. You cannot compare the two. You are making the decision to get rid of your baby. You. Are. Making. That. Choice. I had that choice taken away from me.

You've made your decision and that's fair enough but don't try and justify it by making mass (incorrect) sweeping statements like that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do not need to justify anything. You are doing what's best for you. It's your choice. Be strong.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sorry Shaz i just cant agree with what your doing.. its murder, your going to actively take steps to kill a child.

Truly does not sit well with me. You lead this lifestyle and the only steps was a condom?? How foolish..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the original poster was just saying it's the same process.

I've had a termination and miscarriages. Neither were pleasant to get through. In some ways the termination harder as it was an actual choice.

I'm sure the op meant no offence.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK, NOW you've overstepped the mark.

You've made your decision and that's fair enough but don't try and justify it by making mass (incorrect) sweeping statements like that!"

I know its a termination but the pills I will get given will bring on a miscarriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all make decisions that are our own choosing, and we have to live the consequences of our decisions.

Just because I do not agree with someone's lifestyle choices or decisions, does not mean they are necessarily wrong!

Sometimes I do feel people are way too judgemental for their own good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im sorry Shaz i just cant agree with what your doing.. its murder, your going to actively take steps to kill a child.

Truly does not sit well with me. You lead this lifestyle and the only steps was a condom?? How foolish..

It's not murder. Back of a bit. I am sure we have all made mistakes and this post was to highlight to others a possible risk.

Women have every right to abort. It's not murder and those that spout that annoy me. As its hard enough decision as it is.

Cali

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

out of respect for a life, albeit a very, very young one... lets not make this messy and just agree to disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"out of respect for a life, albeit a very, very young one... lets not make this messy and just agree to disagree."

Agree!

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

For everyone berating the OP for her choice of contraception.... Bear in mind that this happens to many people who use condoms along with another form of birth control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, NOW you've overstepped the mark.

You've made your decision and that's fair enough but don't try and justify it by making mass (incorrect) sweeping statements like that!"

And when I lost two babies shortly after conception the medical term was not miscarriage, it was spontaneous abortion.

The body itself aborts if the cells are not right or the foetus may not develop properly. Who is to say that this may not yet happen to Shazza.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For everyone berating the OP for her choice of contraception.... Bear in mind that this happens to many people who use condoms along with another form of birth control."

It does. I fell pregnant taking the pill and using condoms. And morning after pill was taken in the op case.

Some people also can not use other forms of contraception.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And i think we are all going round in circles now emotional wreck and its making me feel dizzy now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And i think we are all going round in circles now emotional wreck and its making me feel dizzy now x"

It's okay. Come sit in my corner and we can be wrecks together.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/10/12 21:22:34]

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm sorry, I think maybe the OP should should have kept this to herself and just some close friends, but I am truely shocked at some of the comments given on here, especially from women! Whilst I do not have kids and never wanted them, I would never go on my high horse and openly berate someone's choice, as the saying goes, do not judge someone unless you are walking in their shoes, so I will say shame on a lot you, if you didn't like the post, you shouldn't have answered it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im sorry Shaz i just cant agree with what your doing.. its murder, your going to actively take steps to kill a child.

Truly does not sit well with me. You lead this lifestyle and the only steps was a condom?? How foolish..

It's not murder. Back of a bit. I am sure we have all made mistakes and this post was to highlight to others a possible risk.

Women have every right to abort. It's not murder and those that spout that annoy me. As its hard enough decision as it is.

Cali"

If its not murder what is it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For everyone berating the OP for her choice of contraception.... Bear in mind that this happens to many people who use condoms along with another form of birth control.

It does. I fell pregnant taking the pill and using condoms. And morning after pill was taken in the op case.

I have a implant and use condoms but I know I could get pregnant but I feel I taking reasonable precautions to prevent as much as I can short of not having sex and I not going to go down that road. As long as both parties take precautions I don't see why anyone should judge when the precautions fail

Some people also can not use other forms of contraception."

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

I've read most of the posts in this thread.

Personally I don'think this is the thread to discus peoples _iews. I don't know the op but think this is a time to offer support or bite tongues. Some people may not like the way she worded the post but she is going through a very tough time. Only she can decide what is right for her. I am sure she has thought this through very carefully. As she says she has no one else but us to talk to. No one on this site to judge her. We all have done many things that could have gone wrong and many times we didn't even think about the risks because it didn't go wrong... I wish her well and say to those who want to coment of the right or wrongs... Start your own thread and leave the op in peace. There are many places in this world where you can be judged but few where you can get a non judgementle hug. Let this be one little island of sanctury for the op...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never understood it being murder. It's not a person at that stage. Just a cluster of cells which could fail anyway.

I do think that abortion shouldn't be used as contraception. I do think that the limit shouldn't be as it is. But I certainly would not condemn the women that find themselves in this situation as murderers.

When there is legitimate cause and this includes the emotional and mental well being of the woman needs taking into account too.

I've seen the results some comments can have no women that choose this difficult course of action. I've seen the guilt and torment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are people in this world who would only have sex for procreation purposes, in many peoples lifestyles this is not the case.

The right to procreate is a given, as should the right not to so.By genetic accounts, every one of us should have the drive to pass on our genes...sorry 'our' world just does not work like that.I mean 'our', as in being conscious beings.

I believe as its a case of human females always being in 'season', thats basically just carried over through our short history- i.e the production of big families for survival purposes.Thats not the world today is it(with the exception of the third world, that is a drive to preserve)?

As for murder..? I really didnt expect to see that,and cant agree with that standpoint.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP - I have fallen pregnant on every form of contraception I have ever used. Even when taking double precautions. I understand your pain and I welcome your warning as some people (us) are unlucky and fecund at the same time. Those of you that are peri or menopausal are at risk too.

I have lost of all those pregnancies with only one being born alive. I had to face the decision too and I know the decision to terminate is not an easy one. I have made the decision in the past and the subsequent miscarriage left me devasted.

Be kind to yourself. Listen as well as talk during the counselling. Allow yourself time to recover and grieve. Take up the follow-up counselling and find someone you can confide in.

My thoughts are with you.

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