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That awkward first time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We all remember it, the worrying about the length and duration, will it be satisfying and special, or ultimately will you just think to yourself "what was all the fuss about?"

You don't want to make it too dull so that they're not interested, by the same token, too exciting and you set the bar very high for any future fun.

The nerves don't help any, but the drink can numb performance and ultimately make a promising situation a bit of a let down.

In the end, you just pluck up the courage and dive right in, banging away for all your worth in the hope that they find it satisfying, interesting and perhaps would like a little more from you.

So with that in mind, how did you deal with your first post nerves on Fab, when you didn't know what to say, where or why?

My wife laughed openly at my first time effort which I think was a tad cruel.

So should I start with an examination of the works of Hegel? A startling observation about the nature of time relative to the size of a penis? A discussion of a political hot-potato, such as - are Michael Gove's wobbling jowls tax-deductable?

Perhaps I should say something more erotically inclined? Such as starting a vapid attention-seeking thread such as this, merely to garner attention to our poorly-written profile with an alliterative title along the lines of "Wanton Woman wants Wild Wide Willy with Wreckless Wapidity While Wanking Whore-Hubbys Wickle Winkie"

Or should I just start again and threaten to leave the site because we don't have a queue of perfect Fabizens waiting along the street with knickers in handbags, after a WHOLE WEEK (Several exclamation marks of indignation to follow!) of being on the here?!

Anyway, I think that's long enough to leave most folk satisfied for a first time. I'm no longer a Fab Virgin.

Excuse me now while I go and clean up and await the inevitable fall out and exclamations of disappointment once you reach this point and realise it is actually the end.

But I can repeat if asked, once I've had a little rest of course.

Pass the tissues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Translation please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if that's your first post, I have to say I find the anticipation for the next one to be of an incredible magnitude!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Translation please "

In Welsh - It's just a very long-winded way of saying "Iechyd Da" or however you spell it.

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By *cottishrichMan
over a year ago

Here and there


"We all remember it, the worrying about the length and duration, will it be satisfying and special, or ultimately will you just think to yourself "what was all the fuss about?"

You don't want to make it too dull so that they're not interested, by the same token, too exciting and you set the bar very high for any future fun.

The nerves don't help any, but the drink can numb performance and ultimately make a promising situation a bit of a let down.

In the end, you just pluck up the courage and dive right in, banging away for all your worth in the hope that they find it satisfying, interesting and perhaps would like a little more from you.

So with that in mind, how did you deal with your first post nerves on Fab, when you didn't know what to say, where or why?

My wife laughed openly at my first time effort which I think was a tad cruel.

So should I start with an examination of the works of Hegel? A startling observation about the nature of time relative to the size of a penis? A discussion of a political hot-potato, such as - are Michael Gove's wobbling jowls tax-deductable?

Perhaps I should say something more erotically inclined? Such as starting a vapid attention-seeking thread such as this, merely to garner attention to our poorly-written profile with an alliterative title along the lines of "Wanton Woman wants Wild Wide Willy with Wreckless Wapidity While Wanking Whore-Hubbys Wickle Winkie"

Or should I just start again and threaten to leave the site because we don't have a queue of perfect Fabizens waiting along the street with knickers in handbags, after a WHOLE WEEK (Several exclamation marks of indignation to follow!) of being on the here?!

Anyway, I think that's long enough to leave most folk satisfied for a first time. I'm no longer a Fab Virgin.

Excuse me now while I go and clean up and await the inevitable fall out and exclamations of disappointment once you reach this point and realise it is actually the end.

But I can repeat if asked, once I've had a little rest of course.

Pass the tissues.

"

TL;DR

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well if that's your first post, I have to say I find the anticipation for the next one to be of an incredible magnitude!"

I always think second post is something of a let-down really, second album syndrome and that.

Do you think a "would you fuck me?" thread would go down well?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fabizens "
Brilliant! And, maybe for the more notable contributors... 'Faberatti'..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to the Forums and what a cracking first post!

Made my cerebral cortex positively moist!

..and yes, I would

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the kind words folks, and even the cryptic initials which are either some kind of secret Fab-spy code which has marked us down for elimination, interrogation or deforestation.

It's very hard to know what to put as a first post. In fact it's very hard most of the time when I'm on here, but I try to ignore it, even when it pops up and depresses the space bar by accident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Translation please

In Welsh - It's just a very long-winded way of saying "Iechyd Da" or however you spell it. "

Close enough

Hello and welcome

Methinks you'll fit right in

Reckon I could hit the Wirral with a well aimed stone from here, not that I'd try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the kind words folks, and even the cryptic initials which are either some kind of secret Fab-spy code which has marked us down for elimination, interrogation or deforestation.

It's very hard to know what to put as a first post. In fact it's very hard most of the time when I'm on here, but I try to ignore it, even when it pops up and depresses the space bar by accident.

"

Code 7 people.

Code 7 !!!!

They are close to figuring out the code. Alpha team, you are cleared for extraction.

IGI - Go Go Go!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the kind words folks, and even the cryptic initials which are either some kind of secret Fab-spy code which has marked us down for elimination, interrogation or deforestation.

It's very hard to know what to put as a first post. In fact it's very hard most of the time when I'm on here, but I try to ignore it, even when it pops up and depresses the space bar by accident.

Code 7 people.

Code 7 !!!!

They are close to figuring out the code. Alpha team, you are cleared for extraction.

IGI - Go Go Go!"

Oh God NOOOOOOOO! And I haven't held a Fabsevac test for weeks! Where's my isolation kit??????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for the kind words folks, and even the cryptic initials which are either some kind of secret Fab-spy code which has marked us down for elimination, interrogation or deforestation.

It's very hard to know what to put as a first post. In fact it's very hard most of the time when I'm on here, but I try to ignore it, even when it pops up and depresses the space bar by accident.

Code 7 people.

Code 7 !!!!

They are close to figuring out the code. Alpha team, you are cleared for extraction.

IGI - Go Go Go!"

(In best Kryten Voice)

Hmmm Code 7, Code 7.... "If in the presence of Princess Anne, don't become overly familiar with her dog and certainly avoid excessive flatulence in the royal nasal passages..."

Sir, I fail to see how such code could help in this situation!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the kind words folks, and even the cryptic initials which are either some kind of secret Fab-spy code which has marked us down for elimination, interrogation or deforestation.

It's very hard to know what to put as a first post. In fact it's very hard most of the time when I'm on here, but I try to ignore it, even when it pops up and depresses the space bar by accident.

Code 7 people.

Code 7 !!!!

They are close to figuring out the code. Alpha team, you are cleared for extraction.

IGI - Go Go Go!

(In best Kryten Voice)

Hmmm Code 7, Code 7.... "If in the presence of Princess Anne, don't become overly familiar with her dog and certainly avoid excessive flatulence in the royal nasal passages..."

Sir, I fail to see how such code could help in this situation! "

[In best Arnold J Rimmer voice]

Yes well evidently you've never attended a game of 'Risk' with other members of the forum

Now, prepare to receive a 'Double Rimmer'....

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