FabSwingers.com forum: Face pic rejection

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I proclaim "Dickheads" and scowl a bit before laughing about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't normally get a reply, so I can only assume they faint from seeing my awesomeness

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I proclaim "Dickheads" and scowl a bit before laughing about it

So contact ends there or you let them know it's 'no thanks'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's normally a message delete. Would rather a polite not for me..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite "no not for me, but happy looking" is usually what I get after a face pic, the reality is there are loads of people on here and I know I won't be to everyone's taste, I also take rubbish face pics too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I find that we don't ask for face pics, except for on our front page, and I think this is so we don't have to feel bad turning people down! Too polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At first

But once you figure the site out, you realise it’s just one of those things. Water off a ducks back

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

It happens to me all the time to me.

Somehow they cannot figure out by my profile name. It’s just how it is I guess it’s not nice. It is what it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody likes rejection but the reality is every person in the real world you meet doesn't want to fuck you. Why would Fab be any different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely, we can't be everyone's cup of tea so just have to accept it and move on.

Being honest is the best thing to do, don't block after receiving like I've had happen to me. It's a dick move and ultimately makes a person feel more shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Absolutely, we can't be everyone's cup of tea so just have to accept it and move on.

Being honest is the best thing to do, don't block after receiving like I've had happen to me. It's a dick move and ultimately makes a person feel more shit."

That's awful and has happened to me too. Honesty is the best way. I'm OK if there's no response, disappointed sure but I'll live.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I just ignore it after I've sent it, never check sent mail and if you get a reply then brill. Much easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id sooner be told, its only a 'sorry your not my type' that is needed, id never ask why, id never dwell on it id just accept it and move on to someone that my face rattles their lettuce.

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

We quite honestly tell people if we’re not a match and that we both have to be 100% for a meet to happen.

We’d rather be honest and would prefer people to be the same toward us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd rather a polite "you're not my type" than just getting no response. But also appreciate, if you were to do that with all that aren't your type it would just be time wasted. Easier to just move on I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t mind what happens after I’ve sent a face pic’. If they reply with a no, fine. If they delete and block, fine. If they

and insult, fine. I can’t control the other party’s reaction, so I don’t take it personally. I’m adult and know I won’t be suited to everyone’s tastes.

I treat people with courtesy, let them down politely, and with respect if I find I don’t think someone is for me.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Some folk look better in the flesh though...?

... and we aren't all super/stud model photogenic so it's a gamble but can be well worth a social sometimes anyway, no?

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

We’ve never had an outright rejection. We usually get a positive reply but then things fizzle out which is fine as I have to admit this is my way of dealing with it too. I hate rejecting people so unless they are persistent and ask me outright then I don’t give a rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some folk look better in the flesh though...?

... and we aren't all super/stud model photogenic so it's a gamble but can be well worth a social sometimes anyway, no?

Social within 2 weeks of first chatting. Can't always tell from a pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smiling photos work best I feel, where the person looks happy. A lot of facepics I get are straight face which makes the person look miserable and unappealing.

I'd rather be told after I've sent a facepic too, if someone wasn't attracted. I can handle it.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I don't normally get a reply, so I can only assume they faint from seeing my awesomeness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happend on a regular basis to me when I was actively looking to meet, I always prefered a polite no thanks.

I know it must be tough sending that message but, I always preferred getting it to being ignored or blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually just get blocked after sending one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont give a mug shot unless im certain i want to bang them up the poop shoot if they say no its no big shake i dont put much effort into trying to meet folks anyway im far too awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m usually rejected long before I send my face.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I don't normally get a reply, so I can only assume they faint from seeing my awesomeness

that made me smile.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Smiling photos work best I feel, where the person looks happy. A lot of facepics I get are straight face which makes the person look miserable and unappealing.

I'd rather be told after I've sent a facepic too, if someone wasn't attracted. I can handle it. "

Aww I feel bad for men having to take a selfie. Usually at a really unflattering angle and the look of a crazed angry serial killer!

That's how I take mine too.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I proclaim "Dickheads" and scowl a bit before laughing about it

So contact ends there or you let them know it's 'no thanks'?"

I think most people of here know if you don't get a message back its enough of a rejection. If we've both decided no and I get to it first I just delete the messages most of the time.

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By *utdooorsyguyMan
over a year ago

town

I'd deffinatley prefer a polite no thank you.

Although I can completely understand why people just delete, no one wants to upset any one but I can only imagine the abuse that some people get, even from sending a friendly "sorry your not for us"

Not every one is going to be attracted to every one else is just about finding people where there is a mutual attraction

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By *otmyrealname99Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Happened to me yesterday, at least they didn't ghost me! We can't all be to each others tastes, might as well be honest about it imho

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

I don’t reject just from a face pic. Not many men are good at taking selfie’s either. I have the same face in all mine but it’s concentration rather than trying to look seductive!!

If there’s a massive beard though I reply with a polite ‘not for me’

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I will always try and reply with a polite message saying "sorry you are not my type sexually". We are either sexually attracted to someone or we are not. Simple as that.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

It's not harsh, if someone isn't your type then they aren't your type. Tell them or delete, both work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some folk look better in the flesh though...?

... and we aren't all super/stud model photogenic so it's a gamble but can be well worth a social sometimes anyway, no?

Yeah I hate my pic being taken, trying to smile but looks like I'm constipated

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good to get everyone's opinion. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just picked up on this....

I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason

I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone

Likewise I have rejected/passed on women and couples at a social - sadly on both occasions , they where no big enough to accept that I didn't like them and in both cases I was very very badly stalked for months - which ended up with Police being involved

So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol

J xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just picked up on this....

I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason

I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone

So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol

J xx

They called the police cos you didn't fancy them? Assault and battery of their pride?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say "sorry but there's no attraction for me". One person argued the toss. That I might change my mind as I got to know him etc.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I have face pics on public view, so that people can decide I look awful before they even ask. The only mystery remaining would be what my genitals look like, but I'm not showing photos of those to anybody. I don't want to see them myself so I'm certainly not letting complete strangers gawp at them.

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?"

We just say something like "sorry but you're not for us, happy swinging xx". We hate those who ghost others instead of making things clear, also those who waste your time by keeping you hanging on for weeks or months with no intention of meeting grrrr

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"Just picked up on this....

I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason

I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone

So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol

J xx

Lol we have a couple who utterly misled us with VERY old photos. Still they continuously attempted to change our minds over the next hour or two and were visibly upset and annoyed when we finally walked away !

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By *emo169Man
over a year ago

Crawley / Pattaya, Thailand

Face pics are nice compared to some of the offence pics posted on this site....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind, we don't all have great taste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send a free pack of eye bleach out by courier.

Its up to you when you use it? As a preventative, or a consolation!

In reality, I am a realist and would rather not waste time if there is no attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened to me once, I just said OK and moved along

You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Funny this came up, just yesterday, a day before a social, all sorted time and place I then sent a face pic and she replied "sorry I'm not attracted to you", my reply was to thank her for her honesty and not wasting my time or stringing me along, I would rather be told. I have been chatting to and trying to arrange socials with two or three others that I feel are just messing about and I would rether be kindly rejected at an early stage than have my hopes built up and time wasted.

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By *histlerMan
over a year ago

Guildford

Normally is a no reply - but I don’t know if that’s my face putting them off or my message. Probably both!

I did have a message from someone on my friend list after being in the chat room with them saying I was better looking than my pic suggest. I’m screwed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just picked up on this....

I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason

I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone

So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol

J xx

They called the police cos you didn't fancy them? Assault and battery of their pride?

I called the police after the husband physically threatend me outside of my offices - all because he/they lied about and faked all their pictures, so when we did meet and I instantly knew they whee not for me, I politly told them so - only to shout at in the street "its only fucking sex mate"

He stalked me for near on 6 months

Trust me - stalking is scary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I say "sorry but there's no attraction for me". One person argued the toss. That I might change my mind as I got to know him etc. "

Well done you

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By *inkyeroticaCouple
over a year ago

Ampthill

If we send the first message we always include one or two face photos. Our logic behind this is so the recipient can see what we look like early on and if we’re not for them on the basis of a face picture then nobody’s time is wasted.

We understand that some people are driven totally by looks and the initial attraction. Equally we have sufficient emotional maturity to understand that regardless of reasons, we won’t be for everyone. On that basis alone, we have no issue receiving a “no thank you”. We take our time deciding who to message and always send a polite informative introductory message. It’s appreciated when a reply is received, even if it’s “no thank you”.

But… a no reply is interpreted as “not for us”. If our message is read and deleted without a reply then we block them. This isn’t to be rude, or to snub them, just an acknowledgment that they aren’t interested so we don’t need to see them in search results or our update feed.

We have never received a rude decline, and never sent one either. We have also never responded with a why? It doesn’t matter, it’s no!

There is absolutely no need to be rude to people though. Stop thinking of it as profiles. Behind each profile is a person.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

When you view profiles without faces you imagine a face that's never going to be right, when you then see their face pic its just strange, though some people look better in person than in photos and visa versa.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

“We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea” is what I say

I did receive “I’m not instantly attracted to you” from a woman once……

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me. "

I guess that is becuase they are scared of offending do you think ?

I always send current/very recent face pic with my first message - that way people can make that judgment immediately before they respond to the first message

I think that makes sense ?

J xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess that is becuase they are scared of offending do you think ?

I always send current/very recent face pic with my first message - that way people can make that judgment immediately before they respond to the first message

I think that makes sense ?

J xx

Yeah - not wanting to offend people, but the general consensus seems to be that people aren't that fussed.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

My face pic is often my downfall on fab, and it is a bit of a thump to be fair. But I’ve been around these parts some 10 years now and have got used to it.

I deal with it by not dealing with it, I just forget it happened and move on

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Hear here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My face pics are private these days as I have a face like a melted welly!

I appreciate a polite no thanks but don't expect one or get annoyed by lack of one.

I guess it does sting a bit more if it's following a face reveal but each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess that is becuase they are scared of offending do you think ?

I always send current/very recent face pic with my first message - that way people can make that judgment immediately before they respond to the first message

I think that makes sense ?

J xx

Yeah - not wanting to offend people, but the general consensus seems to be that people aren't that fussed. "

I think less about offending people - maybe wary that they will react badly or don't want to upset someone. Rejecting people - if they seem nice - isn't fun. I hate doing it.

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