FabSwingers.com forum: Thank you but no

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Its when you get into a friendly chat with someone on here and you think you're just shooting the breeze. But they want in your pants. And for whatever reason, you don't. I find it awkward as fuck to reject someone whom I like. It seems like a diplomatic journey to be clear enough yet not offend/hurt. Am I making too much of it (probably)? Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make a joke of it.

“Hahahahahahahaha, fuck off.. hahahaha”.

Flawless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say no am a big boy, can take it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naaa i dont think your for me

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By *angOnBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

We're happy to chat and have a conversation with most, so long as its not a single liner opening etc.

But we're open about what we want and with who, so reply politely with a sorry but no if need be

Not every chat ends in a shag

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Really really awkwardly. Like super awkwardly, normally I'll waffle on and include the lines of "maybe in the future I'll change my mind" because at the time I'm cringing sending it and feel awful and want to lessen it.

Oh and I'll say about staying friends because I genuinely want to stay friends with them but normally I get a bit of a hissy fit back that makes me rethink it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd probably deflect.

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By *exiSalliTV/TS
over a year ago

Chester

At the end of the day you are fully entitled to refuse any offer made to you. Just because you are made an offer does not mean you have to accept it. From my side...of course any rejection is disappointing..however that's is life and we should all be capable of accepting your decision....and not get arsy if you say no ...I would accept and move on. In my opinion People on here are not looking to chat about the weather, of they chat to you the chances are they like you so that's a compliment, but that doesn't mean you have to comply to their requests xx

Just my 2 cents x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

If I’m saying no to someone, it’ll be straight to the point but polite.

I’d like the same courtesy to be extended to me if someone is turning me down. I know I won’t be to everyone’s taste, and accept it for what it is. If it’s someone I’ve connected with, then I hope we’d stay in touch, or still meet socially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Naaa i dont think your for me "
truth is its rare for me to meet folks i just dont have the free time i used to iv purposefully made myself busy altho it backfires at times lol

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I think if I ever got to the point where someone refused me, I'd like them to say something like "Meli, you're fantastic and I value your friendship/waffling. Let's keep it at that". It's not happened yet but it will one day soon I'm sure.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

At the moment it'd be I'm not meeting at the moment.

Because I'm not meeting at the moment. When I am? Crap, I hate those conversations. God bless being a recluse

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

I always appreciate when someone send a ni thanks or nice decline I respect that and move on

See so many posts people getting abuse ffs we are adults if not type the. Move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say no thank you

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?"

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just do what most of the guys do on here and don’t say no.

To anything.

Ever.

Mars mars.

Gaping Arseholes.

Jizz on pancakes.

Wank over Putin’s left pec.

Literally name it and a guy on here will have done it.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Just be honest. Why prolong things..if they can't handle it then block. Simple really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be like Zammo.

Just say no.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I've been through this a few times with men from the forum. I enjoy the chat, get friendly, but they want more.

It felt awkward, I agonised over the words to use, but it essentially boiled down to me saying I just didn't fancy them. They've been completely lovely about it and I still talk to them. Two of them are some of my favourite people on fab

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

So are you going to give me a little suck or not OP?

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By *CCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

‘thanks, but not what we’re looking for’ tends to work…the odd hissy fit reply that then confirms we were right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ye just say something along line of sorry you aren't what we are looking for but happy to chat if you are?. best to be straightforward and to the point and if folk get unpleasant about it, would probably just block them.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

If it’s just on here?

Honestly, having played both ways, and turned down my fair share of offers from couples/single women on here, just ghost

I fully support just ghosting on here because lots of people can’t handle even a polite refusal. Abuse you stem follows. Sometimes bargaining. Sometimes they just refuse to acknowledge your refusal

Ghost and block.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Now why would I ruin a wonderful friendship with something as tawdry as hot juicy sex ? I have to decline.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I’m not meeting currently due to a new relationship. That’s how I respond to all messages received, so far no issues with this reply.

Outside of a relationship I’d just say, too busy or another excuse for someone who’s profile states they’re looking for TV.

Straight guys I’ll generally ignore, unless their message has heft to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I accepted ever offer I got I wouldn’t have anuff time in the day

My normal go to turn down line is

Sorry not interested happy swingeing wish you all the best

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Be polite and say to them "sorry but no thank you". Then block if they become abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t engage. You don’t owe an explanation to someone who has made you feel uncomfortable. Failing that, honesty is best.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants. "

But isn't that doing men a disservice? The majority of people I talk to I just enjoy talking with, nothing else wanted. I think the majority of men/people who talk to me just enjoy talking and don't want anything more. If you see everything as a potential pants entry line, doesn't that change the dynamic somewhat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say give my 10 minutes have a wank now do i still want to meet them is a rule i usually go with

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

If it’s someone I like but who I am not attracted to, I am honest. I just say we’ll just keep it as friends… and I’ve been lucky that it’s been well received.

Strangers I’m not interested to it’s just a “Not interested, happy fabbing” if I have the time/inclination to reply…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Make a joke of it.

“Hahahahahahahaha, fuck off.. hahahaha”.

Flawless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Really really awkwardly. Like super awkwardly, normally I'll waffle on and include the lines of "maybe in the future I'll change my mind" because at the time I'm cringing sending it and feel awful and want to lessen it.

Oh and I'll say about staying friends because I genuinely want to stay friends with them but normally I get a bit of a hissy fit back that makes me rethink it.

I do want to remain friends too! We are twin queens of awkward it would appear.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

A simple "I'm not sexually attracted to you" or something similar is good with me, I don't mind and life goes on. Don't understand people that get hurt by it or get angry like they would just sleep with anyone that offers

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants.

I would be very surprised to find that, given the chance, the majority of men that talk to you would say no, they only want to chat and don’t want anything more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd probably deflect. "

I think I do too. Not sure it's a successful gambit if I'm honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants.

I would be very surprised to find that, given the chance, the majority of men that talk to you would say no, they only want to chat and don’t want anything more. "

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if I ever got to the point where someone refused me, I'd like them to say something like "Meli, you're fantastic and I value your friendship/waffling. Let's keep it at that". It's not happened yet but it will one day soon I'm sure.

I value your waffling but I don't want to rub genitals with you. It feels like this is good practice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone's time on here is limited so it's doubtful they don't want to get in your pants. I just wouldn't flirt or go to that extra level unless I wanted to get in their pants. Most people can read between the lines of a friendly conversation and make that assumption your not into it by theirselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At the end of the day you are fully entitled to refuse any offer made to you. Just because you are made an offer does not mean you have to accept it. From my side...of course any rejection is disappointing..however that's is life and we should all be capable of accepting your decision....and not get arsy if you say no ...I would accept and move on. In my opinion People on here are not looking to chat about the weather, of they chat to you the chances are they like you so that's a compliment, but that doesn't mean you have to comply to their requests xx

Just my 2 cents x"

I don't feel I have to comply, I just don't like making other people feel bad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At the moment it'd be I'm not meeting at the moment.

Because I'm not meeting at the moment. When I am? Crap, I hate those conversations. God bless being a recluse

I'm not meeting and it's partly to avoid these conversations. I tie myself in knots. Like a div.

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By *irebrand 1263Man
over a year ago

near you

Just be honest & tell me my dicks way too big for you...

If its too big then no worries

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

No thank you, have a nice day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just be honest. Why prolong things..if they can't handle it then block. Simple really."

I'm not prolonging things. I have a friendly chat with a man - with no request for sexy stuff from him. No indication that it's other than chat. And then they make it obvious they would like sexy stuff. I don't want to block people I like. I want to finesse it better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So are you going to give me a little suck or not OP?

Yeesh, I'm sure I told you Manchester!!

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By *hloetTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

Same I just ghost, no one likes being rejected so I don't think there's a nice way to do it. If you ghost they call you rude if you polietly say no most just keep trying.

I've been on the other side of it in the passed, it's frustrating but you just have to learn to deal with.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Just be honest. Why prolong things..if they can't handle it then block. Simple really.

At that point when the conversation turns sexual that's when you nip it in the bud if not interested (that's what I meant by prolonging things). If they were only interested in getting in your knickers and not into just chatting, they will soon call you a timewaster or whatever and probably block. The chatty/genuine ones will appreciate your honesty.

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By *D of funCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

No thanks... x

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Usually I just say “no thanks” if I do reply, sometimes get a polite “thanks for getting back to me” but usually the reply is an insult or a “why not?”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be like Zammo.

Just say no. "

Who's Zammo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can’t please everyone and if you’re not feeling it just be honest with them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been through this a few times with men from the forum. I enjoy the chat, get friendly, but they want more.

I'm kinda relieved that I'm not the only one who feels damned awkward. Because if I'm chatting happily, I like them. I just don't fancy them and who wants to say that to someone else? But you can't choose who you fancy can you?

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I usually just throw cake on the floor to distract them, then run until my legs snap.

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By *for2Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

Just say how you feel, I once chatted with a lady(not on here) who said she liked me but didnt fancy me in 'that way', we ended up as friends meeting for chats, coffee even a few days out. She moved away but we still whatsapp occasionally. So, not every chat ends up about sex. I'm glad she was honest we both got a good friendship out of her being so.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

With an initial approach it's easy "no thank you" or "not for me but thanks".

It's very awkward when you're chatting and get along but there's no lust there.

I have been in a situation where a guy I've been having great conversation with won't take a polite "I'd love to stay in touch as friends, if you're ever up this way and fancy a coffee just as a social give me a shout" etc, and I've always tried to adopt a position that lets us both keep a bit of dignity "our chats are fantastic but I think we can both see there's not enough chemistry to take it further than friendship".

Sometimes it works and we stay on friendly terms, sometimes it earns me a block, sometimes it turns into a more awkward conversation on why I won't just give them a chance and realise I really fancy them.

Thankfully it doesn't happen very often because I find my looks and personality tend to put them off before it gets to that point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A simple "I'm not sexually attracted to you" or something similar is good with me, I don't mind and life goes on. Don't understand people that get hurt by it or get angry like they would just sleep with anyone that offers "

Oh god I don't think I could say that to anyone. I feel like Miranda mouthing "sex" sometimes. "Not interested in you that way" is as blunt as I get. I will tell strangers to fuck off if they're rude (obvs).

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By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover

"Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants?"

In normal circumstances, no, but on here I would think that a significant percentage would welcome a development in which pant access might become a possibility.

This is, after all, a site for people who are a little more engaged (or adventurous), sexually, than the average bloke you might start chatting with in the supermarket.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants.

I would be very surprised to find that, given the chance, the majority of men that talk to you would say no, they only want to chat and don’t want anything more.

Me too

So any guy having a friendly chat with a woman on here wants to do the dirty?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite ..thanks for the message but no thankyou tends to work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Same I just ghost, no one likes being rejected so I don't think there's a nice way to do it. If you ghost they call you rude if you polietly say no most just keep trying.

I've been on the other side of it in the passed, it's frustrating but you just have to learn to deal with."

I've been ghosted so many times, I don't think I can do it to someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a polite no, over being ghosted

A yes is even better

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I just tell them I’m not currently meeting.

If they can’t accept that with good grace then they can do one

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I just tell them I’m not currently meeting.

If they can’t accept that with good grace then they can do one

And if I get told no, I take it on the chin and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be like Zammo.

Just say no.

Who's Zammo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

"
ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

You should say “don’t you know who I am? I am inevitable!” And click your fingers and blow cigarette ash in their eye.

That’ll teach them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I just received a pilot no, damn!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way"

We all know who you are lol

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

I think most people respond well to directness.

Remember Grange Hill?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A polite ..thanks for the message but no thankyou tends to work "

This sort of reply should be enough for most normal people,,,,,but of course,,,,

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just say no I’m not feeling it, and no need to say sorry, that makes it a bit weird like acknowledging you led them on now need to apologise

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be like Zammo.

Just say no.

Who's Zammo?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?

I think most people respond well to directness.

Remember Grange Hill?"

No. Didn't grow up in England!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way"

That's pretty good it's just one person imo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for your offer of doing some sexual intercourse but unfortunately I can't play hide the sausage with you as I lost my penis in vending machine accident in 1996

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

I might want to get in your pants... But I'm not sure whether they would fit me

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way

That's pretty good it's just one person imo!"

Devil's advocate time. What is so bad about the offer? Or are you just wanting friendship? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

I'd like a reply after because I usually want to be friends. But I guess that's assuming the guy can be friends without making sexual comments all the time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just say no I’m not feeling it, and no need to say sorry, that makes it a bit weird like acknowledging you led them on now need to apologise "

True. I do catch myself saying sorry to complete strangers and delete it most times!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way

That's pretty good it's just one person imo!

Devil's advocate time. What is so bad about the offer? Or are you just wanting friendship? X"

Me or inevitable?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

I'd like a reply after because I usually want to be friends. But I guess that's assuming the guy can be friends without making sexual comments all the time "

It's sad if a guy couldn't be friends just because you won't sleep with him, I think I have more female friends than male

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way

That's pretty good it's just one person imo!

Devil's advocate time. What is so bad about the offer? Or are you just wanting friendship? X

Me or inevitable?

You, Beryl x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

I'd like a reply after because I usually want to be friends. But I guess that's assuming the guy can be friends without making sexual comments all the time

It's sad if a guy couldn't be friends just because you won't sleep with him, I think I have more female friends than male "

I love having male friends but there have been several times I've had to cut it short because he kept crossing the line.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way

That's pretty good it's just one person imo!

Devil's advocate time. What is so bad about the offer? Or are you just wanting friendship? X

Me or inevitable?

You, Beryl x"

The crux of the thread isn't based on a current "offer" just something I was thinking about. Friendly chat he wants in my pants I don't sums it up.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

I'd like a reply after because I usually want to be friends. But I guess that's assuming the guy can be friends without making sexual comments all the time

It's sad if a guy couldn't be friends just because you won't sleep with him, I think I have more female friends than male "

All my friends are female. Even the male ones I treat as honorary females...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?

I might want to get in your pants... But I'm not sure whether they would fit me

Think they'd be too big, Polly. And I have boring pants!!

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

No thanks

Or if they've sent me a nicer message it's

Thanks for the message but you're not what I'm looking for on here x happy fabbing though x

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

I'd like a reply after because I usually want to be friends. But I guess that's assuming the guy can be friends without making sexual comments all the time

It's sad if a guy couldn't be friends just because you won't sleep with him, I think I have more female friends than male

I love having male friends but there have been several times I've had to cut it short because he kept crossing the line.

That's unfortunately the problem, some people don't care about crossing the line and push their luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No thanks

Or if they've sent me a nicer message it's

Thanks for the message but you're not what I'm looking for on here x happy fabbing though x "

That's very polite of you

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I dont like being told no i say did you just say no to me do you know who i am dont say i didnt give you a shot well i dont say it i wimper it to myself

ps this is a joke only 1 person has the power to make me vulnerable and upset in any way

That's pretty good it's just one person imo!

Devil's advocate time. What is so bad about the offer? Or are you just wanting friendship? X

Me or inevitable?

You, Beryl x

The crux of the thread isn't based on a current "offer" just something I was thinking about. Friendly chat he wants in my pants I don't sums it up. "

Fair enough. I find 'funky off' works well in most situations

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've used it and found it worked well, I didn't get a reply after anyway so I'm assuming it's a good tactic

I'd like a reply after because I usually want to be friends. But I guess that's assuming the guy can be friends without making sexual comments all the time

It's sad if a guy couldn't be friends just because you won't sleep with him, I think I have more female friends than male

I love having male friends but there have been several times I've had to cut it short because he kept crossing the line.

That's unfortunately the problem, some people don't care about crossing the line and push their luck "

Makes me wary of men messaging "looking for friendship".

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's always very difficult. I'm lucky in that it's not something I've experienced very often or people have given me an easy out in the way they've phrased their proposition. I think most people test the waters first to judge if you're receptive. In the few times I've been bluntly propositioned and had to decline, I just try to do so as quickly and nicely as I can so we can move on for both our sake. Usually any awkwardness quickly passes.

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

I understand that everyone is not compatible to each other and there are people on here, (male, female and couples),who are or can be rude towards others and their are also people, (again),male, female and couples that think they are above everyone on here, but the genuine people want to have fun,(sex).you have an age range and a list of what you like, are looking for etc but a lot of female and couples want Mr perfect,or mrs perfect and they are rare as like myself I'm married and looking for something that I don't get at home or I would not be on here are instantly ignored, but if its a married woman then that seems to be ok with everyone on here. You only live once so enjoy the time you have.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

If someone doesn't intend to order from every single local restaurant, why are they even on uber eats?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/22 18:05:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean...if i were you and some bloke said i want to suck your tits

If reply with i want to suck your tits too....

Im pretty sure he wont know what to say

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

Because it's not a sex site, it's a social media platform for like minded people of the swinging variety. One that gets used by some as a place to attempt to find hookups.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's always very difficult. I'm lucky in that it's not something I've experienced very often or people have given me an easy out in the way they've phrased their proposition. I think most people test the waters first to judge if you're receptive. In the few times I've been bluntly propositioned and had to decline, I just try to do so as quickly and nicely as I can so we can move on for both our sake. Usually any awkwardness quickly passes. "

I find a blunt offer from a stranger far easier to decline than a nice one from a new friend. But yeah, I'd want a guy to just be upfront with me if he didn't fancy me. So I do say it and get it out of the way. But I HATE it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

Is that code for I shouldn't say no to anyone just because I've got the ridiculous expectation that I should fancy them? Not sure what you're saying. Im not meeting because I've had enough of time wasting men who say they're interested and then cancel. Or just fade away. Or ...don't say they're married.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I mean...if i were you and some bloke said i want to suck your tits

If reply with i want to suck your tits too....

Im pretty sure he wont know what to say

Er, he'd say fine, how's Thursday.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Yeah it's never fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

Google

Exhibitionists

Voyeurs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

If they are offering me sex there's something wrong with them.

If they want a coffee they get the same response that I give non Fab people.

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

If someone doesn't intend to order from every single local restaurant, why are they even on uber eats? "

I think like you

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Xmas pudding all year round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t say I’ve done any rejecting. And I don’t mind how someone rejects me as long as they don’t insult me. Thanks but no thanks is a good one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can’t say I’ve done any rejecting. And I don’t mind how someone rejects me as long as they don’t insult me. Thanks but no thanks is a good one. "

My thread was more about saying no to friends. I say thanks but not interested to strangers.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Can’t say I’ve done any rejecting. And I don’t mind how someone rejects me as long as they don’t insult me. Thanks but no thanks is a good one.

My thread was more about saying no to friends. I say thanks but not interested to strangers. "

Did he offer you cake Geraldine? Xx

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

If I am asked something, anything and my answer is no, I will say no.

People who thing waffly excuses work do my head in

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"My thread was more about saying no to friends."

My reply is still the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people don't intend to meet for sex, why be on a sex site?

If someone doesn't intend to order from every single local restaurant, why are they even on uber eats? "

Wait, what? That's not a rule? But I'd almost completed it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can’t say I’ve done any rejecting. And I don’t mind how someone rejects me as long as they don’t insult me. Thanks but no thanks is a good one.

My thread was more about saying no to friends. I say thanks but not interested to strangers.

Did he offer you cake Geraldine? Xx"

Well of course anyone offering cake gets a shag!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I am asked something, anything and my answer is no, I will say no.

People who thing waffly excuses work do my head in

I almost never waffle

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"If I am asked something, anything and my answer is no, I will say no.

People who thing waffly excuses work do my head in

I almost never waffle

Quite agree,Geraldine, prefer cake to waffles every time

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

If it’s someone from the forums that I’m chatting with, then I will be polite but straight to the point.

Anyone that I’ve not been chatting to I just won’t respond to. I learnt a long time ago that letting men down gently on here usually results in abuse/name calling so I’d rather avoid that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say no

Better to rip the plaster off

Possibly stay friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just say no

Better to rip the plaster off

Possibly stay friends

Staying friends is the worst idea! I do it out of niceness, and then can’t shake ‘em off with a shitty stick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just say no

Better to rip the plaster off

Possibly stay friends

Staying friends is the worst idea! I do it out of niceness, and then can’t shake ‘em off with a shitty stick!

I know have plenty of lady friends and being honest I can talk more to them than I can with male friends about how I am stuff like that

Friends are for life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not for me but happy fabbing x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Most chats don't reveal a match, so it's expected for the majority to need to decline. A polite thanks but no thanks is simple. Plus block.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Random messages, easy delete with no response if outside my filters, others get a polite no thanks, sometimes.

People I chat generally to, if I get a hint of any more than that, it needs to be dealt with. If it’s part of a bigger message, easy to ignore and respond to the rest of the content. If it crops up again or a stand alone comment on a message, I just say I don’t see you like that.

If they still want to be friends the conversation will continue, but most the time the chat stops on their part, which is fine. If I get a hint of it again after having said no, I will stop chatting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

It's best to firstly write exactly what you do and don't want on your profile, if I see a profile which says no black, for example I won't apply. Apply conversely if I see one say in wants BBC I'm going to message... However, if it's a no just say no, we're all entitled to refuse

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"Just be honest. Why prolong things..if they can't handle it then block. Simple really."

Agreed, this is also my approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?

How does it make you feel though, when you read ‘no black’? I get that everyone has their preferences, but can’t imagine actually writing that on my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is what it is. I'm not sensitive enough to claim that someone's being racist and it doesn't even upset me at the end of the day. You all have our preference as he said, My preference is for white women who are usually short of a me and 5 for 8 and in the curvy range. So for my size 10 to 14 not that I would refuse somebody out of my preference as personality also plays a part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is what it is. I'm not sensitive enough to claim that someone's being racist and it doesn't even upset me at the end of the day. You all have our preference as he said, My preference is for white women who are usually short of a me and 5 for 8 and in the curvy range. So for my size 10 to 14 not that I would refuse somebody out of my preference as personality also plays a part. "

Fair play to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's a question dieu, do you find black or Asian Chinese men attractive?

Because if you don't, or even if you don't find white man attractive, why would you not state it on your profile? It saves people that aren't what you looking for from potentially having to go through. Be embarrassment of messaging in the face please and being refused?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's a question dieu, do you find black or Asian Chinese men attractive?

Well, I’d like to think I’m open-minded enough not to dismiss entire races of people out of hand.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

This is a swingers site. Isn't that what we are here for.

So yes if I contact someone and we chat I would like to think they found me attractive enough to potentially have sex with.

I woukd rather not be answered at all than friendly or not be led on. It's hard enough getting any kind of reply at all than after months of chatting finding out its a hiding to nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like your response, it's a shame not all are as enlightened as you...

I had a nosy of your profile ooo you do have an amazing smile, and are within my preferences too. Shame I'm not on Scotland!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

Id prefer an up straight up answer of either yes or no simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a swingers site. Isn't that what we are here for.

So yes if I contact someone and we chat I would like to think they found me attractive enough to potentially have sex with.

I woukd rather not be answered at all than friendly or not be led on. It's hard enough getting any kind of reply at all than after months of chatting finding out its a hiding to nothing."

I agree fully, it's hard on here as a male as it is I've met one person and have some potentials but between work

, Life and their commitments it's hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like your response, it's a shame not all are as enlightened as you...

I had a nosy of your profile ooo you do have an amazing smile, and are within my preferences too. Shame I'm not on Scotland! "

Aww, you’re lovely, but a bit far and a bit young alas!

Best of luck to you though.

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"I like your response, it's a shame not all are as enlightened as you...

I had a nosy of your profile ooo you do have an amazing smile, and are within my preferences too. Shame I'm not on Scotland!

Aww, you’re lovely, but a bit far and a bit young alas!

Best of luck to you though."

That is the way to say "Thank you, but no."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just say no

Better to rip the plaster off

Possibly stay friends

Staying friends is the worst idea! I do it out of niceness, and then can’t shake ‘em off with a shitty stick!

You don't have male friends?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Random messages, easy delete with no response if outside my filters, others get a polite no thanks, sometimes.

If they still want to be friends the conversation will continue, but most the time the chat stops on their part, which is fine. If I get a hint of it again after having said no, I will stop chatting. "

I think "I don't see you like that" is a great way to put it. I'm stealing that

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I say "look, if you dick me you'll fall in love with me and neither if us need that drama but you can take me out to dinner and let me kick your arse at air hockey instead"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Here's a question dieu, do you find black or Asian Chinese men attractive?

Well, I’d like to think I’m open-minded enough not to dismiss entire races of people out of hand."

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I say "look, if you dick me you'll fall in love with me and neither if us need that drama but you can take me out to dinner and let me kick your arse at air hockey instead" "

Dick me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is a swingers site. Isn't that what we are here for.

So yes if I contact someone and we chat I would like to think they found me attractive enough to potentially have sex with.

I woukd rather not be answered at all than friendly or not be led on. It's hard enough getting any kind of reply at all than after months of chatting finding out its a hiding to nothing."

Chatting to a guy in a friendly way is leading him on?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"This is a swingers site. Isn't that what we are here for.

So yes if I contact someone and we chat I would like to think they found me attractive enough to potentially have sex with.

I woukd rather not be answered at all than friendly or not be led on. It's hard enough getting any kind of reply at all than after months of chatting finding out its a hiding to nothing.

Chatting to a guy in a friendly way is leading him on?

Tis a minefield it seems.

Be polite you're a prick teasing cunt.

Ignore you're an ignorant cunt.

Meh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's a question dieu, do you find black or Asian Chinese men attractive?

Are you for real?! How will you cope if someone isn't attracted to you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is a swingers site. Isn't that what we are here for.

So yes if I contact someone and we chat I would like to think they found me attractive enough to potentially have sex with.

I woukd rather not be answered at all than friendly or not be led on. It's hard enough getting any kind of reply at all than after months of chatting finding out its a hiding to nothing.

Chatting to a guy in a friendly way is leading him on?

Tis a minefield it seems.

Be polite you're a prick teasing cunt.

Ignore you're an ignorant cunt.

Meh."

Well, yeah it does seem a bit of a minefield.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never

But I never get offers

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I've never had that problem I don't think. Which either means that the guys I chat to aren't attracted and don't want me as more than a non benefits friend, or that I've been so oblivious that they've lost the will, or they think we will be having sexy times.

I'm gonna go with the "not attracted" one, as they do tend to go a bit quiet when I flirt with them. Which is annoying because I like flirting and it doesn't necessarily mean I want in their pants

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I've never had that problem I don't think. Which either means that the guys I chat to aren't attracted and don't want me as more than a non benefits friend, or that I've been so oblivious that they've lost the will, or they think we will be having sexy times.

I'm gonna go with the "not attracted" one, as they do tend to go a bit quiet when I flirt with them. Which is annoying because I like flirting and it doesn't necessarily mean I want in their pants

I think that flirting on here can be a bit of a minefield. I know that if I'm flirted with quite strongly I tend to do the go quiet thing unless our dynamic is in that particular space. People don't know how to read others always and they tend to react instinctively sadly - hopefully other men will know that being a flirt doesn't mean you're gagging for them, it's just you.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I say "look, if you dick me you'll fall in love with me and neither if us need that drama but you can take me out to dinner and let me kick your arse at air hockey instead" "

Peach, I love your way with words!

Mrs TMN x

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Simply say no thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm gonna go with the "not attracted" one, as they do tend to go a bit quiet when I flirt with them. Which is annoying because I like flirting and it doesn't necessarily mean I want in their pants

"
I know you prefer me in my pants

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If I'm chatting to someone and I know I don't want to have sex with them I tell them early on in the conversation that I'm not interested in them sexually.Some ask if I will continue chatting and I've no issue with that especially if we get on but unfortunately I have found some then seem to think that means I have changed my mind. It has at this stage put me off chatting with men on here.

Yes it's a swingers site but people still can have conversations without it leading to sex l,especially if you are told early on the other person is not interested in you that way asking then to continue to chat will not change their mind and you shouldn't expect it to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply just thank them for their message, no thanks and hope they find someone else. I'll get a reply saying thanks but sometimes I've had "are you sure?" The mind boggles. I'm not going to chat to someone either who's hundreds of miles away as it's not as if we'll ever meet and I will say that to them politely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just say no

Better to rip the plaster off

Possibly stay friends

Staying friends is the worst idea! I do it out of niceness, and then can’t shake ‘em off with a shitty stick!

You don't have male friends? "

I do, but my experience is that it doesn’t work if at first you met in a romantic context.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I’ve not been in that situation here, with all our refusals being to people we haven’t chatted with or built up a raport.

I’d like to think I would handle it with curtesy and not be rude or inconsiderate. It would likely be an “ask me when you aren't d*unk” type response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See it's easy as that lol

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We don’t really chat to many people as we aren’t here to chat to everyone.

That doesn’t mean we only chat to people who we are sexually interested in, but we aren’t going to chat to a lot of random people.

We make it clear early on whether there’s interest there, just to manage expectations and the dreaded ‘so when are we meeting?’ question, 10 messages in

You can see the conversation going that way at times and you know where’s it going but if you call it out, they’ll always protest and say they were just making conversation

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I like your response, it's a shame not all are as intelligent as you..."

FTFY

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

From my life experiences, whether real life of Fab life, anyone that makes you feel anything less than happy is not worth bothering with.

Say yes or no to your loved ones and they should understand.

Say yes or no to strangers and it won't matter either way.

Say no the friends that have become toxic.

Be honest with your yes and no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I'm just gunna scrub off "Would you like me to suck your tits?"

From my notes

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

Never been in that position as I don't tend to chat with people through messages unless I wish for things to go further. I send a polite no thanks and will get "I just wanted to chat" back... Not what I'm looking for, I use the chat rooms for that.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Not for me thanks

It's a no from me

Fuck off

Block

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We don’t really chat to many people as we aren’t here to chat to everyone.

That doesn’t mean we only chat to people who we are sexually interested in, but we aren’t going to chat to a lot of random people.

We make it clear early on whether there’s interest there, just to manage expectations and the dreaded ‘so when are we meeting?’ question, 10 messages in

You can see the conversation going that way at times and you know where’s it going but if you call it out, they’ll always protest and say they were just making conversation

K "

I've done another thread on that behaviour you talk of - when you say you're not interested and they say "I didn't say I was". It makes me so cross!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So I'm just gunna scrub off "Would you like me to suck your tits?"

From my notes"

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

That’s one of the joys of being a solo male profile in Fab; it’s such a rare occurrence to have to turn someone down, because we’re the ones who message first, and we obviously only message those we’re interested in!

As far as someone turning me down though; I’m an adult, I can take it, just say “Thanks but no” Don’t leave me hanging with a read but unanswered message please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?

As far as someone turning me down though; I’m an adult, I can take it, just say “Thanks but no” Don’t leave me hanging with a read but unanswered message please

One of the downsides of being a woman here is constantly rejecting people.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?"

Normally I just say no or mock them accordingly.

We are struggling with one currently though as we know he a vile POS with convictions for violence and domestic abuse. We aren't sure how to proceed as he just keeps making new accounts and ignoring him isn't working.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you refuse an offer? I find it very straightforward if someone asks straight up. "Would you like me to suck your tits"

"thank you but no"

Refusers, what's your take?

Refusees, how would you prefer someone you fancy say no to you? How do you feel?

Normally I just say no or mock them accordingly.

Is there no way Admin can ban him and any new accounts?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Is there no way Admin can ban him and any new accounts? "

Legally I don't think they can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants.

I would be very surprised to find that, given the chance, the majority of men that talk to you would say no, they only want to chat and don’t want anything more. "

I've been talking to a guy from the forum for months and its never turned sexual, He's never asked to meet for it. He said he wanted to chat and it's been nice to just chat.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

" Should I assume every man who I chat to wants in my pants and be an arrogant wotsit?

Yes, always assume that and you might very rarely find a guy who just wants to chat entirely innocently but probably best to assume they want to be in your pants.

I would be very surprised to find that, given the chance, the majority of men that talk to you would say no, they only want to chat and don’t want anything more.

I've been talking to a guy from the forum for months and its never turned sexual, He's never asked to meet for it. He said he wanted to chat and it's been nice to just chat."

Yes! Some men just want to chat, just like women like to. They enjoy talking to people. I've been thinking about the men I talk to and I think 99.9% of them just enjoy my waffle.

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