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"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart. The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward." Especially recently, where our lives have been changed so much (maybe irrevocably for some). | |||
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"I practice a combination of Shan Buddhism and Daoism and have done majority of my life So yes I would say I am completely safe " Amazing. Love practices like that, which can really help | |||
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"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart. The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward. Especially recently, where our lives have been changed so much (maybe irrevocably for some). " Absolutely | |||
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"Hippy, always the tough questions! I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better! Have a good Saturday " This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ? | |||
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"Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative. " I’m not sure about compartmentalisation. I was talking to someone this morning, about how he shoves things in boxes, but like I said, it will come back out of the box at some point? | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. " That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that? | |||
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"Logically, I must feel safe as I don't feel unsafe. I've had a few darker days in the last few years but at this point in time I'm far away from all that." | |||
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"I suspect I must do because I've never considered that I might not" Interesting point, but I didn’t realise I felt unsafe, until I felt safe, and then I noticed, if that makes sense? | |||
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"Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative. I’m not sure about compartmentalisation. I was talking to someone this morning, about how he shoves things in boxes, but like I said, it will come back out of the box at some point? " I know, people say it's bad, hasn't failed me in 43 years though. Different people cope in different ways. | |||
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"Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative. I’m not sure about compartmentalisation. I was talking to someone this morning, about how he shoves things in boxes, but like I said, it will come back out of the box at some point? I know, people say it's bad, hasn't failed me in 43 years though. Different people cope in different ways. " I know it can very effective for some | |||
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"Honestly, still feeling fragile with a divorce going on but I know I could still do it alone if I had to with such a supportive family. My kids are amazing. Untidy but amazing " I hear you . | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?" I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine | |||
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"My question today is: Do you feel safe? I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe? Do you know what it means? Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?" The hardest lesson that I ever heard and took me a while to get onboard with it that you are the only person that will be with you for life. It doesn’t mean we can’t look externally but we must be happy and secure in who we are first. There is always a fine balancing act with looming for security from someone else and keeping it inside. I know that with TG she will always allow me to have emotions and feeling. She has made me secure with sharing those with her. This is a different level to just being secure within yourself but that is where is has to start. *Beard* | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that? I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine " That’s amazing . You’re awesome | |||
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"I feel very safe and this enables me to bask in my caretaker personality completely, you cannot give unless your cup is full x In lock down it was the complete opposite and I had a lockdown breakdown. It took me a long time to find my equilibrium again " I’m sorry to hear that , I’m glad you found it again. You’re one of very few people who shows it imo (not that others aren’t, but you can’t necessarily see it) I would have known you would say yes to this. | |||
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"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart. The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward." Great word lady | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that? I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine " This is wonderful. So pleased you have found what sounds like a great new life. I definitely relate to feeling the need to rediscovering yourself. I felt defined in my marriage and I didn't like who I became over the years. The lack of confidence and no feelings of self worth pretty much destroyed me. I'm definitely a better version now of who I am. Still a work in progress though PNG x | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that? I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine That’s amazing . You’re awesome " Thank you | |||
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"My question today is: Do you feel safe? I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe? Do you know what it means? Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that? The hardest lesson that I ever heard and took me a while to get onboard with it that you are the only person that will be with you for life. It doesn’t mean we can’t look externally but we must be happy and secure in who we are first. There is always a fine balancing act with looming for security from someone else and keeping it inside. I know that with TG she will always allow me to have emotions and feeling. She has made me secure with sharing those with her. This is a different level to just being secure within yourself but that is where is has to start. *Beard*" Absolutely . I found that someone giving me that safety, and showing me what if feels like, allowed me to foster that within myself. | |||
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"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart. The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward. Great word lady " I thought that too | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that? I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine " | |||
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"Great topic Hippy I’m sat here asking myself if I am but the answer appears to be yes …. Most of the time, except when I allow negativity to creep in. When I realise it’s in I firmly kick it out …. *boot* " Thank you . It’s a tricky one, as I said, I wasn’t aware I wasn’t, until someone made me feel safe. | |||
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"I honestly don’t know what it means. I just do what I’ve always done through my teen/adult years. I bumble my way through day to day life, and solve the issues put in front of me that day. I’m a simple person. " I find it quite hard to describe, because it’s relatively new to me. It’s the feeling of security, within yourself as a person, being safe in your existence as a person. | |||
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"I'm not sure. I've been on my own for 8 years. Practically,I've got that sorted. But me,I don't know who I am." Have you looked into re parenting? | |||
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"Weed can give you a feeling of inner safety " Is that safety real though? | |||
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"I suspect I must do because I've never considered that I might not Interesting point, but I didn’t realise I felt unsafe, until I felt safe, and then I noticed, if that makes sense?" Makes absolute sense. | |||
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"Hippy, always the tough questions! I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better! Have a good Saturday This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ?" I guess for me it’s working with my therapist through trauma mostly. Learning to not internalise all the bad things that have happened to me and to trust myself again. Also, I write things down and always remember to only obsess over things that I can control, not things I can’t. Also listening to people like you and not being so hard on myself | |||
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"I guess yes and no. I'm acutely aware that you never really know what is around the corner and that huge amounts of emotional pain can be sprung on you at a moments notice and at times from where you least expected it. However, overall I do have a sense that no matter what it is I can get through it and I will be okay again. " That’s interesting, and I really hear that, I think I’m still in a similar place. | |||
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"Hippy, always the tough questions! I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better! Have a good Saturday This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ? I guess for me it’s working with my therapist through trauma mostly. Learning to not internalise all the bad things that have happened to me and to trust myself again. Also, I write things down and always remember to only obsess over things that I can control, not things I can’t. Also listening to people like you and not being so hard on myself " I love this . I feel like a proud momma | |||
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"Hippy, always the tough questions! I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better! Have a good Saturday This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ? I guess for me it’s working with my therapist through trauma mostly. Learning to not internalise all the bad things that have happened to me and to trust myself again. Also, I write things down and always remember to only obsess over things that I can control, not things I can’t. Also listening to people like you and not being so hard on myself I love this . I feel like a proud momma " | |||
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"It varies and its an o going lesson There are times I want physical pain or to hurt myself as can deal with physical better than emotional Trying to read the signs better and change tactics or reach out if needs be " Reaching out is good, if you can reach out safely. | |||
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"Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it. I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it " But the ideal would be to have safety within oneself, so I don’t think that’s a bad thing, being independent? | |||
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"I’m as safe as I can be. Everything I need comes from me. Things I desire come from those around me. Things still affect me but I’ll only take so much before I remove myself from the situation. I’ve worked too hard to ever go back there. " Love this | |||
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"Right now no I don't. I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle. I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it." I’m sorry . Feeling vulnerable is horrible, is there anyone you have for support? | |||
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"Right now no I don't. I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle. I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it. I’m sorry . Feeling vulnerable is horrible, is there anyone you have for support? " If it causes my OCD to flare I have a great counselor I can book some sessions with. I think the loneliness and isolation of my current life is what's fuelling a lot of the insecurity. I can take heart that I know it's a temporary thing; I won't always feel this way. I've felt differently in the past and will again in the future. | |||
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"Right now no I don't. I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle. I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it. I’m sorry . Feeling vulnerable is horrible, is there anyone you have for support? If it causes my OCD to flare I have a great counselor I can book some sessions with. I think the loneliness and isolation of my current life is what's fuelling a lot of the insecurity. I can take heart that I know it's a temporary thing; I won't always feel this way. I've felt differently in the past and will again in the future." Yes, the isolation is so hard isn’t it. I hear that. It sounds like you’re very aware, and like you’ll get there | |||
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"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that? I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine " You're inspirational! | |||
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"Yes and no. Life is so unpredictable that I am on guard. Like, we have to be prepared for the worst but appreciate the best now. You know what I mean?! Jo.Xx " I know what you mean xx | |||
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"I always feel as safe as houses. " That doesn’t surprise me Granny. | |||
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"I stopped feeling safe when I lost my husband. " I’m not surprised, that would rock most people. Can you cultivate some safety within yourself? | |||
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"I realised I don’t need anyone to help me feel happy or safe.. I noticed this when I focused on myself over the last few months. I now only associate with the few who reached out during this time, and unsurprisingly it’s a different friendship to my close friends before I withdrew myself. Self progression is unreal though." That’s really good , to have that in yourself | |||
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"I feel safe I guess, like others have said it isn't something I think about. I was mugged in 2015 and ended up with a fractured eye socket. I was walking back to my office in broad daylight. It was at least a year before I would take the same route. Irrational probably but a reality at the time. In the coming years I know my life will change dramatically to what I have known from the last 10 years and then I might not feel so safe for different reasons." I’m sorry , that must have been awful. | |||
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"Yes. Always felt safe. " That’s good, great to have that | |||
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"Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it. I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it But the ideal would be to have safety within oneself, so I don’t think that’s a bad thing, being independent?" It isn’t no, plus for me stops those I care about worrying about things they can’t help with, then in turn I don’t have to worry about them worrying if that makes sense. So yes I’m safe within myself. | |||
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"My question today is: Do you feel safe? I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe? Do you know what it means? Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?" I did feel safe, and very much depended on someone else for that so when it failed I was hopeless. I've since learnt to feel safe with myself, now having someone else in my life is different, I don't need her ladyship to be whole, I want her because ... well, let's face it, why wouldn't I? She's bloody amazing. Mr | |||
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"Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it. I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it But the ideal would be to have safety within oneself, so I don’t think that’s a bad thing, being independent? It isn’t no, plus for me stops those I care about worrying about things they can’t help with, then in turn I don’t have to worry about them worrying if that makes sense. So yes I’m safe within myself. " | |||
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"My question today is: Do you feel safe? I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe? Do you know what it means? Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that? I did feel safe, and very much depended on someone else for that so when it failed I was hopeless. I've since learnt to feel safe with myself, now having someone else in my life is different, I don't need her ladyship to be whole, I want her because ... well, let's face it, why wouldn't I? She's bloody amazing. Mr" Oh | |||
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"Safety is the warm embrace of a wanton vagina. Yeah, I’m as safe as it gets thanks." Can always reply on you Sam | |||
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"Isn't it more about being and feeling independent and autonomous, emotionally, physically, financially? I feel as "safe" as I'll ever be, I reckon. I have overcome a few obstacles in my life to get to this point. I have my health, healthy children, a support network (family, partner, friends) and an income. Hence I'm able to raise my children with love and support to give them the best start in life while putting a roof over their heads and food on the table. Anything beyond that is a bonus and I'm hugely grateful every day in my life. That doesn't mean I don't know it can be snapped away in a flash because frankly, the only guarantees in life are death and taxes. " It’s about safety within yourself. So take away the money, people, work etc. It’s the safety within you as a person. | |||
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"My question today is: Do you feel safe? I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe? Do you know what it means? Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?" At the moment, my emotions are playing with me I feel I should be grieving Tears came quickly and went just as quick I expected grief to follow It hasn't made itself known yet At least in the way I thought it might It has been replaced by an underlying anxiety It has been replaced by sporadic attacks of nervousness I doubt these feelings are indefinite I think they are waiting to switch I am waiting for the drop | |||
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