FabSwingers.com forum: How do you turn people down?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you turn people down here without pissing them off? I've had a few times on here where I've tried to v politely say I reckoned we just weren't right for each other because we seemed v different or were interested in v different things. On occasion, that didn't go down well at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore

Ignore and block

No thanks

No thanks and block

There is no compulsion to reply

No response is a no thank you

As long as you aren't rude or obnoxious in your reply, then I would argue any issue lies with the rejected party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight ignore.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"How do you turn people down here without pissing them off? "

Just say thanks but no thanks.

If they get pd off and turn monkey on you, block and delete.

Simples.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

If it’s from a well thought out msg then I always reply “sorry your not for me”.

If it’s a brief or boring “hi” message then I just delete.

it’s your profile run it how you want to, if their abusive report and block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe to turn them off haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some left on read or my normal sorry not for me happy swingeing

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

It depends on the message

A polite one that’s taken effort I’ll reply saying no thanks, or that their profile isn’t for me.

Otherwise I just ignore. Not worth the abuse saying no brings it to do it anymore often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its a well written message - i send a thanks but no thanks type reply.

If its daft i just ignore it/delete it.

If they're real asshats then a block but thats rare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't much care if my reply (or lack of) might piss someone off. I don't go out of my way to do so, but I don't beat about the bush or walk on egg shells either.

If it's a decent message or they have a good profile I'll respond with a 'thanks, but not for me', otherwise I simply ignore them.

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By *jekimMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Just be honest an polite until they start with the nasty an shit haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are always polite with a no but if they ask why we just delete and block now.

Too many ask why but then don’t agree with your reasons and get arsey.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I always offer in my first message to leave them alone if they are not interested and then delete my message. It provides a positive response without them needing to say a word. The thinking is, if they aren't interested why bother to load their inbox with my unwanted message?

Most times it works ok. On rare occasions they have read and kept my message so I have politely asked if there is any interest.

The usual negative response is delete, sometimes it's a "no thanks" and very occasionally a slap in the face for having the audacity to contact them again.

The latter is the other side of the rude reply to a turn down.

So a small plea to all those 200+ messages a day folks. Free your inbox!! Delete messages from those you are not interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bolt hen"

That should do it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Not everyone takes being turned down well OP, you're never going to please everyone so do what's best for you (bar insulting a person when you turn them down). I've had a myriad of responses, from a person saying I've humiliated them and getting a right strop on to another deleting their profile. People are human and delicate and handle things differently because of that.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It's usually fairly easy. If they read my profile and decide to get in touch they will already know I don't meet on a whim.

If they start talking about meeting within a handful of messages I'll remind them of what my profile says and tell them we aren't suited.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Not everyone takes being turned down well OP, you're never going to please everyone so do what's best for you (bar insulting a person when you turn them down). I've had a myriad of responses, from a person saying I've humiliated them and getting a right strop on to another deleting their profile. People are human and delicate and handle things differently because of that."

I am sure you get loads of contacts so it is nice to see you understand there is a human at the other end.

I propose for the future on Fab the maxim.

"Don't want to meet; just delete"

The other side being :

"Deleted? Don't moan; leave them alone"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority I'm rude and just reply "read profiles".

If they reply I send this (doesn't matter what their name is, the point is I didn't read their profile either!!)

"Hi Gordon,

Sorry but you missed or ignored the age range on my profile.

I keep the text simple so men can see it but I guess it doesn't matter when they are messaging every woman online.

You seem lovely. Better luck next time.

Hope you find someone nice x "

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I just say

“Oi Fannybasher420, Noooooooooooooooo”

Or, “thanks for your message but I’m not meeting right now”

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Just say 'thank you for your message but I'm not interested in taking this further'. For the most part its well received. Of they press for more or try to beg I just block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say

“Oi Fannybasher420, Noooooooooooooooo”

Or, “thanks for your message but I’m not meeting right now”

"
fannybasher420 lol sounds like my type of man lol mmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No tar im not feeling it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say ' sorry but no thankyou and no I am not hard'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn them down? That would suggest I had garnered some interest in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say ' sorry but no thankyou and no I am not hard'"

Are they still asking that?(aubergine) (peach)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

The most just get deleted as just not worth the hassle, even then you get some comeback.

Others, I will say sorry not me, if looking for something specific, took the time to read profile, decent message, and wish them well.

If it’s someone I know, then I’ll be blunt and to the point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My standard response to someone who politely messages is "Thank you, but I'm not interested. Happy fabbing."

I don't give a reason why I'm not interested (eg location, smoker) because then they negotiate/argue about that point.

If I've talked to someone for a while and then it's just clear we are not suited - I say it's not going to work for me, sorry. And stick to that. Just really clear and straightforward. I feel like a bitch much of the time, but being blunt is better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us: Have you read our profile?

Them: No / why would I.

Us: Read it to see if you're what we want.

...no response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to Blocksville.

Population: You.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I now just ignore as its not worth the million questions that follow by saying "sorry but no" x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No explanations are are warranted, so just ignore and/or block, potentially with a polite no thanks and good luck.

Blocking prevents future identical contact and wasting of time.

Report abusive messages. Life is too short to waste it on anything that's not productive or helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually with a thanks for the offer but not for me then if get shitty I block them

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Just say sorry your not for me, if they get pushy they get blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you turn people down here without pissing them off? I've had a few times on here where I've tried to v politely say I reckoned we just weren't right for each other because we seemed v different or were interested in v different things. On occasion, that didn't go down well at all."

instant block

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Politely but definitely

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Grab them by their legs

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

Easy. Block them.

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

Politely decline, block if they get arsey. Sorted.

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