FabSwingers.com forum: Should you share??

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??"

Now that is fecking weird!what kind of family is that?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know couples who have his and her bank accounts and divide the bills, works for them.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Oh and before anyone mentions the "shaming" word.....

No-one is shaming anyone who does or doesn't share x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been married 40 years: all our dosh has dropped into joint accounts since day one. I know others don't, but can't for the life of me see why...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think once you've established a serious relationship then yes. I've always felt so much love to my partner that whatever I have is his, and whatever he has is mine, we don't think twice about it. It's ours as a family. As long as nobody is taking advantage what is the issue? I'd hate to feel like I'm in a financial relationship instead of a loving and happy one.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??"

As they were married and not just in a relationship then he could have run up the debt on the medical bill and she would have been legally jointly liable for the debt anyway.

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By *ello HarveyMan
over a year ago

Lots of places

What’s mine is hers and what’s her is hers. Isn’t that like rule 5 of marriage?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you enter a committed relationship with somebody then I feel you are partners and should be in partnership with everything including money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and before anyone mentions the "shaming" word.....

No-one is shaming anyone who does or doesn't share x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s mine is hers and what’s her is hers. Isn’t that like rule 5 of marriage?

So I've heard yes haha

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"When you enter a committed relationship with somebody then I feel you are partners and should be in partnership with everything including money. "

The washing up would be exempt from this rule though, right?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have a joint account for bills and individual accounts for personal spending. Then we have separate joint savings accounts for savings and emergencies money

If one of us is short for something the other buys it.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

When I was married, we had a format that was all the everyday bills came out of his account, I paid for all the other stuff, meals out, gifts for people's birthdays, Christmas etc, holidays, stuff for the house, food shopping.....

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??

As they were married and not just in a relationship then he could have run up the debt on the medical bill and she would have been legally jointly liable for the debt anyway. "

Not in the UK she wouldn’t. All debt is personal unless a joint application.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I think whatever works for an individual couple is fine for them.

I think the only thing that is important is that it’s fair and consistent.

When I was married we split the whole pot equally. Regardless of the fact that sometimes I put more in and sometimes he did. That’s fine, that’s fair.

My best mate and her husband have always kept their own money and paid 50/50. That’s fine. They’re both happy and that’s fair.

Another friend and their partner always kept their own money and paid 50/50. The higher earner had a nicer car, more money for fun stuff and the likes. They were both happy with that.

Then the lower earner got a promotion and became the higher earner. By a big way.

Suddenly the other one wanted to go all in and equal. That showed them for who they were imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Joint bank accounts for bills is good and seperate pots for both are a good thing so you have your own independence while still making sure things are covered.

Not wanting to cover the costs mentioned though and not helping out a partner says more about their relationship than anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??

Now that is fecking weird!what kind of family is that?!

"
this was my previous wife. The house we bought was hers, I paid bills ,food, had to pay petrol if she drove anywhere, she contributed nothing financial and kept a book of money I owed her.... her money was her money, half of my money was her money qnd my half had to be spent on her qnd there was no talking or discussion .

When I took a third job doing door work she insisted money be paid into her account 2hich I never saw or benefited from and I was treated as a Tennant who paid her rent but wasn't allowed visitors or to watch telly or listen to music ...it wasn't pleasant but apparently there is zero problem with her behaviour.

I have come away from marriage with nothing.

When we lived together I blew my back out and needed surgery leaving a deep wound in spine that required cleaning, it was presumed my wife would do this.

She asked me to go stay with friends as she didn't want to be made to look after me....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We keep our money completely separate and have a joint account for bills. What I earn is mine and what he earns is his.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I know couples who have his and her bank accounts and divide the bills, works for them. "

I’ve always done this.

It’s all peace and love until you split up and your ex empties your bank account, or they end up being a controlling twat and you’re not allowed to access any dosh.

Separate bank accounts with a joint account for bills etc. No drama. Albeit not very romantic

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I know couples who have his and her bank accounts and divide the bills, works for them.

I’ve always done this.

It’s all peace and love until you split up and your ex empties your bank account, or they end up being a controlling twat and you’re not allowed to access any dosh.

Separate bank accounts with a joint account for bills etc. No drama. Albeit not very romantic

Money is not romantic. Also being a couple doesn't mean you don't have individual identities. I think you're right to have always done it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??"

Split the bills via percentage of what each person earns, each keeps whatever is left.

Maybe she didn't help him because he spent all his money on crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know couples who have his and her bank accounts and divide the bills, works for them.

I’ve always done this.

It’s all peace and love until you split up and your ex empties your bank account, or they end up being a controlling twat and you’re not allowed to access any dosh.

Separate bank accounts with a joint account for bills etc. No drama. Albeit not very romantic

No joint account.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

We have been together 15 years and always had separate accounts... never even had a conversation about a joint one as what we do now has always worked for us

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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago

Away with the faeries

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??"

Why did she refuse? Was she in financial difficulty or just being unhelpful/unkind?

It seems without being raised by you, OP, the other issue about joint accounts has been raised.

No one should feel the need to share a bank account with another person, as a few have pointed out there are ways and means which work for different folks.

However I'd venture to say that the person who didn't help out their partner with at least some of their medical bill could be experiencing financial difficulty themselves. Who are we to judge based on such limited information?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A previous partner and I had a joint account for bills. Big mistake as he had a black mark on his address due to his credit history. I'll never go down that road again. If anything, what I would is just pay certain bills out of my account and he could do the same from his own account. I will never have a joint account with anyone ever again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??

Now that is fecking weird!what kind of family is that?!

this was my previous wife. The house we bought was hers, I paid bills ,food, had to pay petrol if she drove anywhere, she contributed nothing financial and kept a book of money I owed her.... her money was her money, half of my money was her money qnd my half had to be spent on her qnd there was no talking or discussion .

I have come away from marriage with nothing.

When we lived together I blew my back out and needed surgery leaving a deep wound in spine that required cleaning, it was presumed my wife would do this.

She asked me to go stay with friends as she didn't want to be made to look after me...."

Sounds like you are well rid of her then..

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??

Why did she refuse? Was she in financial difficulty or just being unhelpful/unkind?

It seems without being raised by you, OP, the other issue about joint accounts has been raised.

No one should feel the need to share a bank account with another person, as a few have pointed out there are ways and means which work for different folks.

No idea why. It was a topic on TV and that was example they gave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We didn't have joint accounts when I was married, I for the most part earned more than him and paid for more.

If I was to be in a relationship again, I would not want nor expect to share accounts/money.

Obviously if he's a millionaire he will pay my store cards off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We share everything.

Right down to ear waxy cotton buds.

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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

I share my money between accounts does that count I mean it's sharing still

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I lived with someone we had the joint acct for regular bills and our own for whatever we wanted. But we were pretty chilled about who paid for general things and neither of us would ever have left the other short, or not paid a medical bill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you enter a committed relationship with somebody then I feel you are partners and should be in partnership with everything including money.

The washing up would be exempt from this rule though, right?"

Yes absolutely, I don't do washing up.

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By *anae21Woman
over a year ago

Nearer than you think

"A previous partner and I had a joint account for bills. Big mistake as he had a black mark on his address due to his credit history. I'll never go down that road again. If anything, what I would is just pay certain bills out of my account and he could do the same from his own account. I will never have a joint account with anyone ever again x"

A couple of CCJs was the reason I never had a joint account with my ex husband. My caution was justified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regardless of who earns what I have always worked on a 50-50 basis. And when I say that I mean that you both have the same spending money left after bills etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats abit out of order. I never shared my bank acc but did have a joint that the bills went in. As for sharing money no we didnt we didnt even know what eachother earnt.

Never questioned eachothers purchases infact money never came up in the 15 year relationship.

However if i needed help i always knew she'd help and id always help if she needed it.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I wouldn't be keen on a sharing into a joint pot. Joint account for the bills you both paying into and keep topped up.

Still get your wages paid into your own account and spend your own money. Pay into the joint account for joint purchases etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have our own bank accounts and we split the bills & rent costs. I pay for food shopping and Mr NBVN pays for our social outings. We will soon set up a joint savings account as we want to save for a deposit for a house.

How we manage our money works for us, we'd never see each other go short and would help each other out if needed.

NBVN x

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By *wales_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

All out money has pretty much always gone into the one bank account since very early on in our relationship.

What can I tell ya, we like sharing

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??"

I think you should work together as a team ,no his or hers ,mutual respect,if you both have the same goals it should just fall into place ,regardless of seperate accounts ,its about appreciating and respecting one another ,she obviously didnt want him around anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of CCJs was the reason I never had a joint account with my ex husband. My caution was justified. "

Thank god you didn't do it. Just goes to show, gut instinct is a powerful thing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carlos pays for almost everything in the fandangos home, he doesn't mind, he's happy to support his family, he feels it's his duty as a parent and a partner.

Carlos is skint but has never been happier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Carlos pays for almost everything in the fandangos home, he doesn't mind, he's happy to support his family, he feels it's his duty as a parent and a partner.

Carlos is skint but has never been happier.

Carlos is a good kind man x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We're 100% joint and have been since I can't even remember when. I earn a fair bit more than Mr KC and always have but we have never once thought to consider that I might spend proportionally more on myself than him. We buy small scale stuff for ourselves infrequently but we don't consult each other. If I want to buy a dress, I'll buy it. If he wants to buy some hobby stuff, he'll buy it. We discuss bigger purchases which are usually joint anyway (holidays, new sofa or suchlike).

We're incredibly non-materialistic people. We don't buy "stuff", we don't buy each other gifts for birthday/Christmas etc. We've never argued about money, though we have experienced some pretty lean times, especially when we were both students and had my son to think about.

It works for us, anyway...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should you share money in a relationship?

Just seen this topic on TV.

Apparently one woman who has been married for 11 years and her husband had separate accounts and when he needed help with medical bills she refused to help him out...

What are your thoughts??"

If you live together then you should share 100% & if you live separately you can share paying for things when out

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Sharing the cost of living definitely but each also entitled to have separate bank accounts and keep everything open as not having anything to hide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Carlos pays for almost everything in the fandangos home, he doesn't mind, he's happy to support his family, he feels it's his duty as a parent and a partner.

Carlos is skint but has never been happier.

Carlos is a good kind man x"

Gracias.

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