FabSwingers.com forum: Negative comments/messages

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

I'm the same.

I just laugh if I get any, but some people can really be affected by comments from others.

And there's no need to be nasty to a stranger you've never met if they've not done anything wrong.

Maybe those writing the messages are the ones to be calling out, not the ones who take offence to the offensive messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people don't have the mental strength as you do OP.

Others are very self critical and will take negativity to reinforce their own feelings towards themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

Not to blow my own trumpet but some of us manage both with ease

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

I really hate when people are like that. There is no need for it and we’ll their opinions can do one! Politeness and kindness costs nothing.

If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Because for some they have been fighting battles, and the arrows of hurt get through the chinks in their armour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

Totally agreed with this...

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

A Couple recently responded to my approach message with,

"You sound too intellectual for us. We don't play with Toffs".

I'd a good laugh at what was could be viewed as rude, but also a back-handed compliment too!

I didn't take it seriously!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

Not to blow my own trumpet but some of us manage both with ease

Truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Couple recently responded to my approach message with,

"You sound too intellectual for us. We don't play with Toffs".

I'd a good laugh at what was could be viewed as rude, but also a back-handed compliment too!

I didn't take it seriously!"

You simply threw another deer carcass on the open fire and retired to the drawing room.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I'm the same.

I just laugh if I get any, but some people can really be affected by comments from others.

And there's no need to be nasty to a stranger you've never met if they've not done anything wrong.

Maybe those writing the messages are the ones to be calling out, not the ones who take offence to the offensive messages.

Not calling anyone out. Just asking a question x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

Not to blow my own trumpet but some of us manage both with ease

Truth.

Fora not fawner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come on now Sparkle Your not ugly your wonderful beautiful and awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I annoyed people with a chicken Kiev joke earlier.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

People (especially here I’ve noticed) take life and every little thing somebody says far too serious!!

You’d think they’d be more chilled after getting their pies filled and dicks sucked at every opportunity.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Anyway to address the OP, because people are human and not everyone copes with things the same way. There's not one way of being.

There have been times in the past when I've seen posters get annoyed with other posters. Upset. Passive aggressive. So I think it's fair to say most of us do give a bit of a shit to some degree or another.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"A Couple recently responded to my approach message with,

"You sound too intellectual for us. We don't play with Toffs".

I'd a good laugh at what was could be viewed as rude, but also a back-handed compliment too!

I didn't take it seriously!

You simply threw another deer carcass on the open fire and retired to the drawing room. "

Not so. My Butler did it for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm. The opinion of some random stranger on the internet, who I will never meet. Should I be concerned?...

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

They can say it while hiding behind a keyboard but when it comes to meeting you in person then I've found they are shy/quite. Don't tell me I'm an ugly fat bastard with a tiny dick etc while texting then when we meet up and your fucking me say nothing at all....er is what I met you for...male or female.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Because we're human, everyone has an Achilles heel with regards to how others make them feel. I have plenty which is why I've taken a step away from the forum. There were far too many negative and hurtful comments for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it hits you in feels but pick oneself up and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We live in a world now where people exist for the amount of likes and subscriptions they receive in their TikTok or YouTube channel

If you don’t post a like or you say something offensive it’s reach for the razor blades

I actually feel like a dinosaur most of the time now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I annoyed people with a chicken Kiev joke earlier.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

People (especially here I’ve noticed) take life and every little thing somebody says far too serious!!

You’d think they’d be more chilled after getting their pies filled and dicks sucked at every opportunity."

But seriously... What is going to happen to the Kiev's?

I agree, it's becoming boring. I don't see why people don't understand that you can have a light hearted approach to things. Not everything has to be turned into a debate or argument. Like the username thread earlier. Christ alive it was a joke thread.

Honestly how people can even be bothered to get in an uproar about everything. I get tired just reading it.

Lazy is me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deny them a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry op, to your question... I think sometimes some comments hit an insecurity and it spirals.

I'd like to be more like you!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Because people do. And some don't.

Why need to make a post about it? Because you wanted to, so you did. It is as simple as that.

There is no big overarching rhyme or reason to it.

Quite comical really

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By *erfectly Average CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Sad wee individuals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmm. The opinion of some random stranger on the internet, who I will never meet. Should I be concerned?..."

I think if you hear it enough it must get you down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

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By *atcher_in_the_WoodsMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Would rather have a beautiful person on the inside, the outside is not a reflection of true beauty as we are all beautiful in some way

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

"Hmm. The opinion of some random stranger on the internet, who I will never meet. Should I be concerned?...

I think if you hear it enough it must get you down."

Of course. It's just a case of realising that it shouldn't effect you and trying to not feel down. It's easy for some and less so for others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

Fuck yeah!

Sadly some people want to feel better by making other people feel worse. Why care about someone you don't know, won't meet who means nothing to you?

Live life for you and those you care about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmm. The opinion of some random stranger on the internet, who I will never meet. Should I be concerned?...

I think if you hear it enough it must get you down."

I don't worry every time a dog barks at me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Horrid remarks can sting, but generally believe that those who are making them are either trolls, sad or more often insecure and in a bad place themselves, so they feel they have to lash out.

Either way, as my old gran said, there's more to be pitied than scolded.

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By *oomerang73Man
over a year ago

Newton

I woman once thanked me for fabbing her pics, then she proceeded to tell me how ugly I was then blocked me.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

"I woman once thanked me for fabbing her pics, then she proceeded to tell me how ugly I was then blocked me.

Some people are just arseholes and are nasty

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

People have various insecurities. Some people have a knack of homing in on them and using them to lash out, quite often they're trying to alleviate their own pain by causing pain to someone else

Saying that people should ignore it is dismissing the very real bad feelings many have when they receive negative comments and insults.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I genuinely don't care what anyone think of me unless they're loved ones but a lot do.

This post was a very real test of my ability to find alternative words for people

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Because different people have different personalities and levels of resilience.

You never know what someone has been through.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Because different people have different personalities and levels of resilience.

You never know what someone has been through. "

Very true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Because different people have different personalities and levels of resilience.

You never know what someone has been through. "

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone says or thinks about me! Say anything about my family I'm the devil incarnate! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn’t give a fuck what people think of me, I am still going to carry on as I do. The best way I’ve found to deal with negative comments is agreed with what said then turn around and say “never knew you cared so much, you had me worried for a moment then, thought you were going to call me a nice guy” then just sit back and watch the confusion fill their face.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's about being hung up on them, I have a tough skin. For me personally, It's the day's when I'm not mentally strong enough to deal with people having a pop that I struggle. The nastiness of some people blows my mind on a regular basis but it's multipled when your already feeling down.

No one knows what people are dealing with on a day to day basis, unfortunately the people who attack others don't care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you honestly didn't care so much then you 100% wouldn't bother to start a thread about it. What a waste of your time and effort that is surely.

You would instead do what most of us do and hit that delete and block button instead!

Life is for living not moaning!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Indeed - we cannot be everything to everyone.. people who make negative comments - usually have something wrong with their own selves… just ignore and carry on being beautiful you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I annoyed people with a chicken Kiev joke earlier.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

People (especially here I’ve noticed) take life and every little thing somebody says far too serious!!

You’d think they’d be more chilled after getting their pies filled and dicks sucked at every opportunity.

But seriously... What is going to happen to the Kiev's?

Honestly how people can even be bothered to get in an uproar about everything. I get tired just reading it.

Lazy is me.

It is exhausting but also fun sometimes to keep poking them with sticks.

I often have time to kill.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"If you honestly didn't care so much then you 100% wouldn't bother to start a thread about it. What a waste of your time and effort that is surely.

You would instead do what most of us do and hit that delete and block button instead!

Life is for living not moaning!

Fair point that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we are human. Words can hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyway to address the OP, because people are human and not everyone copes with things the same way. There's not one way of being.

Honest enough answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I annoyed people with a chicken Kiev joke earlier.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

People (especially here I’ve noticed) take life and every little thing somebody says far too serious!!

You’d think they’d be more chilled after getting their pies filled and dicks sucked at every opportunity.

But seriously... What is going to happen to the Kiev's?

Honestly how people can even be bothered to get in an uproar about everything. I get tired just reading it.

Lazy is me.

Because in the same way you choose to take things in a light hearted way, others choose not to.

Both are OK and nobody should be called out for having a respectful opinion or for disagreeing or for seeing things differently. That's what I see happening on here a lot.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Because not everyone can brush off the shitty comments of others. It’s that’s simple.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

That saying about stick and stones!

Words can cut you to the quick, and some people thrive doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That saying about stick and stones!

Words can cut you to the quick, and some people thrive doing it. "

Absolutely and i've never understood that saying.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"That saying about stick and stones!

Words can cut you to the quick, and some people thrive doing it.

Absolutely and i've never understood that saying. "

Sticks and stones or cut to the quick?

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Honestly a forum full of people being nice or constantly telling each other to #bekind wouldn’t be worth reading or contributing to.

It’s the arguments and petty squabbles that make some threads worth reading.

It’s why I haven’t been on the forums for some weeks now, they’re a bit boring currently. Need to get my fix elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That saying about stick and stones!

Words can cut you to the quick, and some people thrive doing it.

Absolutely and i've never understood that saying.

Sticks and stones or cut to the quick?"

Sticks and stones, It's always seemed very dismissive to me.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"That saying about stick and stones!

Words can cut you to the quick, and some people thrive doing it.

Absolutely and i've never understood that saying.

Sticks and stones or cut to the quick?

Sticks and stones, It's always seemed very dismissive to me. "

Ah. Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me.

Names, and negative words, do hurt.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Words are a strange thing, they have no power alone, but when context and intent is used, at the right time in the right way they cut deep, even the most stoic and tough person can be brought down by words if applied correctly. Just as they can lift you up.

Why is it we (a general we, nobody in particular) criticise people for being hurt by words but not when words make them feel happy? Surely emotionless reactions should be applied to all words in that case.

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

I don’t give a shit what people think of me either but a lot of people aren’t very resilient now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

I don’t give a shit what people think of me either but a lot of people aren’t very resilient now. "

But it's not about whether someone is resilient or strong is it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Words are a strange thing, they have no power alone, but when context and intent is used, at the right time in the right way they cut deep, even the most stoic and tough person can be brought down by words if applied correctly. Just as they can lift you up.

I genuinely think it's because we all know we have hurt people with words at one point or another so I guess it helps to take the guilt away for some. Also as has been alluded to in some comments people seem to think if they are hurt by people's words it somehow makes them weak or non resilient.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction. "

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs."

Is that not exactly what you are doing now though. You say you don't give a shit yet you chosen to take this personally.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Nobody gets to dictate how others should feel.

Nor does this attitude of ‘people shouldn’t feel bad’ give others the go ahead to say shitty things.

We all have our weak spots. We all have bad days. It’s not always easy to brush off.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Some people don't have the mental strength as you do OP.

Others are very self critical and will take negativity to reinforce their own feelings towards themselves"

This is very true. Luckily the nasty messages are few and far between. I get the occasional lovely man letting me know that I'm fat. Most of the time I laugh but every now and then they catch me on a day where I am already feeling low and then it does get under my skin.

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

I don’t give a shit what people think of me either but a lot of people aren’t very resilient now.

But it's not about whether someone is resilient or strong is it. "

Of course it is. You will always get someone that says something you don’t like. You need to have some resilience to be able to let it go over your head.

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By *angothreeMan
over a year ago

cramlington

Block button works wonderful on here

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

Is that not exactly what you are doing now though. You say you don't give a shit yet you chosen to take this personally. "

Not taken personally at all. How can asking a question be equated to shaming though??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

I don’t give a shit what people think of me either but a lot of people aren’t very resilient now.

But it's not about whether someone is resilient or strong is it.

Of course it is. You will always get someone that says something you don’t like. You need to have some resilience to be able to let it go over your head. "

I think this has gone completely over your head. Again it's not about resilience it's about sometimes we are allowed to feel hurt and nobody should tell us we are not resilient or strong. I'm sure you feel happy when someone pays you a compliment so why is it not OK to feel upset when someone makes an unpleasant comment. Are you not resilient to not show your happiness?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

Is that not exactly what you are doing now though. You say you don't give a shit yet you chosen to take this personally.

Not taken personally at all. How can asking a question be equated to shaming though??

You don't see how basically telling someone how to feel or to just let something go because that's what you do isn't shaming?

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

To be honest it’s because we’re all built differently what may affect one, would get shrugged off by another. I’m sure most would love it not to affect them, but if it hits them emotionally I wouldn’t turn round and say fuck it who cares because clearly they did.

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

Some days things and comments just hit harder than others. Maybe it's a trigger day (for a trauma event), maybe it's PMT, maybe they slept badly. Any of those things can mean we take things more to heart, and that's ok!

MJ x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are fragile and have insecurities ,when a stranger hits those insecurities it can hurt as it makes you f33l they are worse than they are as a stranger has noticed .

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Maybe that father over there should not get emotional about not being able to see his kids, because the father next to him couldn't give a shit about if he has kids or not, never mind seeing them.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

Is that not exactly what you are doing now though. You say you don't give a shit yet you chosen to take this personally.

Not taken personally at all. How can asking a question be equated to shaming though??

You don't see how basically telling someone how to feel or to just let something go because that's what you do isn't shaming?

Where did I tell anyone how to feel?

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Being deaf, and mix race I get negative / idiot comments all the time since I was a kid.

As a result I have a very thick skin and I couldn't give a flying fuck what people think of me. I see.muself as an individual and others misconceptions of who and what I am isn't worth me losing sleep over.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x"

This is real life! That's the problem isn't it, people like to think this somehow isn't real so shouldn't matter.

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x"

So true x

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe

Someone was particularly vile to me yesterday because I had verified a meet of someone she was arranging a meet with.

She thought it made him less desirable being connected me just because of how I looked and initially I was hurt and deleted all my pictures but today I posted my profile picture in the hope she sees that I love my body whatever she thinks of me.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x

This is real life! That's the problem isn't it, people like to think this somehow isn't real so shouldn't matter. "

That's what you believe, unfortunately our opinions differ greatly. As they say, it takes allsorts to make the world go round and if we were all the same, it would be a very boring place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x

This is real life! That's the problem isn't it, people like to think this somehow isn't real so shouldn't matter.

That's what you believe, unfortunately our opinions differ greatly. As they say, it takes allsorts to make the world go round and if we were all the same, it would be a very boring place."

Finally! I think you have just a answered your own question to your OP haven't you.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Someone was particularly vile to me yesterday because I had verified a meet of someone she was arranging a meet with.

And so you should. Her opinion is just that..an opinion. I'm sure you've had more positive than negative comments x

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x

This is real life! That's the problem isn't it, people like to think this somehow isn't real so shouldn't matter.

That's what you believe, unfortunately our opinions differ greatly. As they say, it takes allsorts to make the world go round and if we were all the same, it would be a very boring place.

Finally! I think you have just a answered your own question to your OP haven't you. "

I answered it a few posts back

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe

"Someone was particularly vile to me yesterday because I had verified a meet of someone she was arranging a meet with.

And so you should. Her opinion is just that..an opinion. I'm sure you've had more positive than negative comments x"

In over 18 months on here noone has said anything negative to me,except for the messages everyone gets from some men lol.

They may think it but noone has said anything to me.

It did ruin my day but I am particularly vunerable at the moment, the old me wouldn't have cared at all.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Someone was particularly vile to me yesterday because I had verified a meet of someone she was arranging a meet with.

And so you should. Her opinion is just that..an opinion. I'm sure you've had more positive than negative comments x

In over 18 months on here noone has said anything negative to me,except for the messages everyone gets from some men lol.

They may think it but noone has said anything to me.

It did ruin my day but I am particularly vunerable at the moment, the old me wouldn't have cared at all."

Sorry to hear that OP and I hope you get back to your old self soon.

It used to get to me in my early days on here but I think I've seen it and heard it all now that it's water off a ducks back.

I'd feel totally different if it were someone who knew me well though x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

Because social media has conditioned people that validation from strangers on the internet somehow equates to success.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x

Because social media has conditioned people that validation from strangers on the internet somehow equates to success."

Very good point.

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe

Thank you,I don't know why her comments bothered me so much, maybe because she was being specific rather than messages that you know are not anything to do with you.

She just doesn't belong on here because the most vocal on here are usually all about building each other up and looking for the positives in everyone, which us why I love it so much .xx

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Surely everyone likes to feel part of a community, no normal non-troll person posts thinking "I hope everyone absolutely loathes me for posting this". I like to have my opinions respected and like to feel valued.

So to an extent, I do care what people think. It might be the tiniest amount, but otherwise why would I bother posting?

I don't look for validation from strangers or base my entire self-worth on a stranger's opinion, but that doesn't mean insults aren't hurtful, especially if they happen to hit an area of deep insecurity for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't let comments about my personality get me down, because I am confident in that part of myself. But if I'm having a shitty day and someone mentions something about my appearance that I don't like, I probably do feel a bit shitty about it as it is just confirming what I already know. And this applies to real life too. But then I try to remember those people who judge others are uglier than I will ever be.

It's really not worth getting upset about but I get why some people let it get to them.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I know some people just brush negative comments away and others find it harder to do that.

I’d recommend a book called the subtle art of not giving a F***

It’s genuinely a really good read. I’ve changed my profile pic, so you can see

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I know some people just brush negative comments away and others find it harder to do that.

I’d recommend a book called the subtle art of not giving a F***

It’s genuinely a really good read. I’ve changed my profile pic, so you can see

Looks like a good read

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By *onlywishiMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Think it’s about who you get in touch with as a guy , actually reading the profile helps and then trying to answer whoever in a way you get a reply which in my case isn’t many count on a hand time !!

But for your poor ladies and couples that get inundated with loads of guys trying their luck then getting abused when either not replying or even saying no thanks ??? Isn’t what the site is about ?

It’s a shame but I guess behind the keyboard people forget that someone at the other end of the message might be hurt by the comments ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are so many people hung up on what some random person says or thinks about them?

Personally I don't give a shit, they can think say/what they like, it says more about them then you.

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than inside x"

Same here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because people have feelings and emotions?

It can hurt to read a negative comment - you have no idea what that person could be going through .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x

This is real life! That's the problem isn't it, people like to think this somehow isn't real so shouldn't matter. "

Very much so. There is another thread where we are talking about how dehumanising Fab can be. But we are all real, with real feelings that can be hurt no matter how resilient we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are people, we are fragile creatures and what bothers and affects us one day may not the next. Sometimes things said hit a raw nerve or it can just be something someone feels passionate about. I’ve said it and do say, I shouldn’t let what a stranger says or thinks bother me, but sometimes it does

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

You need to know your audience, as you don't know what is and isn't acceptable to each individual.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"You need to know your audience, as you don't know what is and isn't acceptable to each individual. "

Everyone might as well keep their mouth shut on here then...because nothing seems acceptable these days

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

We all react in different ways to what people say on the internet and in the physical world.

Having a thick skin and not caring what others think of you is awesome. More power to the elbow of anyone who feels that way.

Having a less thick skin and caring what others think of you is equally as acceptable and no one has the right to treat anyone with derision because that is how they react.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/22 16:01:29]

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs."

Because dismissing that someone gets upset or offended just because you don't give a shit is in itself shaming them, it invalidates their feelings. You don't know what someone is going through that day, one simple comment could be the straw that breaks the camels back...

But oh I forget this isn't 'real life' and people aren't allowed to have feelings

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m obviously a simple man.

If I can’t say owt nice I prefer to say nowt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sick of being labelled as the nice guy.

Happens all too often.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

But oh I forget this isn't 'real life' and people aren't allowed to have feelings

Tg"

Where is the dismissing?

I asked a question and I answered how I deal with it.

But as per....typical fab

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

But oh I forget this isn't 'real life' and people aren't allowed to have feelings

Where is the dismissing?

I asked a question and I answered how I deal with it.

But as per....typical fab

"Why are people so hung up on what others think"

Your words no? People have answered and you've dismissed their answers unless they agree with you

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It's always funny that people who like to say they don't give a fuck what others think of them are often the same people who don't give a fuck what they say to others.

It falls into the same category as those who shout from the rooftops "I'm an arsehole but it's just who I am and people need to accept that!"

No they don't need to accept your insecurities that require you to be an arsehole.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"It's always funny that people who like to say they don't give a fuck what others think of them are often the same people who don't give a fuck what they say to others.

It falls into the same category as those who shout from the rooftops "I'm an arsehole but it's just who I am and people need to accept that!"

No they don't need to accept your insecurities that require you to be an arsehole. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's always funny that people who like to say they don't give a fuck what others think of them are often the same people who don't give a fuck what they say to others.

It falls into the same category as those who shout from the rooftops "I'm an arsehole but it's just who I am and people need to accept that!"

No they don't need to accept your insecurities that require you to be an arsehole. "

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"It's always funny that people who like to say they don't give a fuck what others think of them are often the same people who don't give a fuck what they say to others.

It falls into the same category as those who shout from the rooftops "I'm an arsehole but it's just who I am and people need to accept that!"

No they don't need to accept your insecurities that require you to be an arsehole. "

I actually typed this earlier almost to the word then thought nah I can’t be arsed getting involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people don't have the mental strength as you do OP.

Others are very self critical and will take negativity to reinforce their own feelings towards themselves"

Sorry but this is true especially if you have no confidence and are already feeling low and shit about yourself :/

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Because we are all human, and we have emotions.

I don’t see the value in shaming people for having a reaction.

Why is it shaming?

Typically taking things out of context and turning it into something it wasn't.

It was a simple question ffs.

But oh I forget this isn't 'real life' and people aren't allowed to have feelings

Where is the dismissing?

I asked a question and I answered how I deal with it.

But as per....typical fab

"Why are people so hung up on what others think"

Your words no? People have answered and you've dismissed their answers unless they agree with you

The only thing I've dismissed is the shaming comment as I don't see how asking a question as shaming.

As I've said previously, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Thanks for yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our brains are wired to look out for ourselves, to fear, to see the dangers.

This also means that we can also see, feel and dwell on the negatives.

Those things we fear may have us looking bad.

It's very easy for many to be taken on a rough ride after harsh comments.

If we have doubt within ourselves and someone points out that fear we have, it can often hurt.

Trick is, work on your issues, change what you don't like, accept what you can't change.

And recognise, their actions are a reflection/words upon them.

Your actions/words are a reflection upon yourselves.

Practice self love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good start would be people taking responsibility for their own actions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A good start would be people taking responsibility for their own actions "

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Our brains are wired to look out for ourselves, to fear, to see the dangers.

This also means that we can also see, feel and dwell on the negatives.

Those things we fear may have us looking bad.

It's very easy for many to be taken on a rough ride after harsh comments.

If we have doubt within ourselves and someone points out that fear we have, it can often hurt.

Trick is, work on your issues, change what you don't like, accept what you can't change.

And recognise, their actions are a reflection/words upon them.

Your actions/words are a reflection upon yourselves.

Practice self love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if many people have had totally stranger walk up to them in RL and say something derogatory??

I bet not as many as on here because most wouldn't have the balls to say it in person and just hide behind a screen x"

I have and it was horrible, but then it was when I had my camera in hand doing street photography and that is whole different discussion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A good start would be people taking responsibility for their own actions "

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

^^practice self love. Fab would go out of business.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"^^practice self love. Fab would go out of business.

Think that's what some do who don't get meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reason is because people are different, their feelings and reactions are different...

...I'm emotional, I get upset by things, sometimes easily. I wouldn't change that about myself. It's part of who I am.

It is a real problem now, especially with the anonymity of the Internet, the horrendous things some people say leaves me wondering what kind of world I live in

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"^^practice self love. Fab would go out of business.

Think that's what some do who don't get meets

Don't dismiss it out if hand!

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

We like to get along and for people to like us but if not then hey ho go suck a gammy toe ya scruff

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"We like to get along and for people to like us but if not then hey ho go suck a gammy toe ya scruff

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"Some people don't have the mental strength as you do OP.

Others are very self critical and will take negativity to reinforce their own feelings towards themselves"

A swingers site is probably not the best place to be if you don't have a bit of mental resilience especially if you are just using it as a chat site.

Get out and meet some folks at a club or social, great confidence builders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The reason is because people are different, their feelings and reactions are different...

...I'm emotional, I get upset by things, sometimes easily. I wouldn't change that about myself. It's part of who I am.

It is a real problem now, especially with the anonymity of the Internet, the horrendous things some people say leaves me wondering what kind of world I live in "

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"Anyway to address the OP, because people are human and not everyone copes with things the same way. There's not one way of being.

To be really honest the only people from this site we would be bothered about are the ones we meet.

If they were nasty or rude to us, we would be saddened but it's not the end of the world, just a swingers site, not a place to look for new partners.

We see swinging as a bit of fun, had some great times and met some lovely people.

It will get easier now restrictions lifting, no excuses for all those keyboard warriors not to flex their muscles and actually make an effort to meet so we can all experience their beauty unfolding.

Or maybe not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our brains are wired to look out for ourselves, to fear, to see the dangers.

This also means that we can also see, feel and dwell on the negatives.

Those things we fear may have us looking bad.

It's very easy for many to be taken on a rough ride after harsh comments.

If we have doubt within ourselves and someone points out that fear we have, it can often hurt.

Trick is, work on your issues, change what you don't like, accept what you can't change.

And recognise, their actions are a reflection/words upon them.

Your actions/words are a reflection upon yourselves.

Practice self love.

Totally agree

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