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Are you self aware?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your pics trigger something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally aware and it's even on my profile so it doesn't come as a shock to others.

As for what I'd do to fix it, it requires major surgery and about £30,000

But for now, I'm living and coping with it as best I can

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good "

Do you put others before yourself?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally aware and it's even on my profile so it doesn't come as a shock to others.

As for what I'd do to fix it, it requires major surgery and about £30,000

But for now, I'm living and coping with it as best I can"

I’m sorry to hear that .

I’m talking about in terms of thought processes though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know my flaws and my triggers. They are hard to keep in check but an understanding person is the best person to have by your side. I'm often being given a slap and being told to snap out of it

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I think we all have aspects of ourselves that require maintenance, I’m short tempered in certain environments and I want to run before I can walk when it comes to learning new skills, I practice yoga and mindfulness to address these.

Music is my escapism and after a hard day or when I feel myself a little off balance I plug in my ear pods and take a long walk in the countryside, it helps me gain clarity and clears my occasional busy mind.

Failing that I go to my dance studio and just get lost in movement, I find it a therapeutic outlay for my emotions, it makes me feel weightless and free xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally aware and it's even on my profile so it doesn't come as a shock to others.

As for what I'd do to fix it, it requires major surgery and about £30,000

But for now, I'm living and coping with it as best I can

I’m sorry to hear that .

I’m talking about in terms of thought processes though. "

Oh this does affect me mentally. A lot. My confidence is not there when it comes to intimacy, or going to clubs, the beach, swimming etc..

But, I am trying to be confident in other areas by being sociable and friendly. Also, try not to care what others think of me if in a negative sense

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

I’m not aware of any flaws in my blindspot, but I try to be conscious of those flaws and triggers I am aware of.

I don’t journal, but I do a lot of self reflection to help me grow as a person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know my flaws and my triggers. They are hard to keep in check but an understanding person is the best person to have by your side. I'm often being given a slap and being told to snap out of it "

Is snapping out of it the solution though?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

Nothing has triggered me in years. I would get wound up over stupid things and it isn’t good for your health.

Now I am completely different and feel much better for it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think we all have aspects of ourselves that require maintenance, I’m short tempered in certain environments and I want to run before I can walk when it comes to learning new skills, I practice yoga and mindfulness to address these.

Music is my escapism and after a hard day or when I feel myself a little off balance I plug in my ear pods and take a long walk in the countryside, it helps me gain clarity and clears my occasional busy mind.

Failing that I go to my dance studio and just get lost in movement, I find it a therapeutic outlay for my emotions, it makes me feel weightless and free xx"

Movement for releasing emotions is a very undervalued process

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I’m not aware of any flaws in my blindspot, but I try to be conscious of those flaws and triggers I am aware of.

I don’t journal, but I do a lot of self reflection to help me grow as a person."

Is your self reflection like journaling, but just in your mind?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally aware and it's even on my profile so it doesn't come as a shock to others.

As for what I'd do to fix it, it requires major surgery and about £30,000

But for now, I'm living and coping with it as best I can

I’m sorry to hear that .

I’m talking about in terms of thought processes though.

Oh this does affect me mentally. A lot. My confidence is not there when it comes to intimacy, or going to clubs, the beach, swimming etc..

But, I am trying to be confident in other areas by being sociable and friendly. Also, try not to care what others think of me if in a negative sense"

That must be really hard

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nothing has triggered me in years. I would get wound up over stupid things and it isn’t good for your health.

Now I am completely different and feel much better for it

"

What’s your secret ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I have a perception of myself. It's honest because it's how I honestly perceive myself but I'm under no illusions that my honest perception of myself might not match how others see me. We all have our own biases.

I'm aware of my flaws, possibly verging on being too critical on them but I'm a work in progress. I more often than not know the root of my triggers but sometimes they've been triggered because the person is a throbber and I don't feel the need to examine that too deeply.

I'm open to developing myself and change to a certain degree. Work in progress really.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

"

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eek! I’d say I’m self-aware. I don’t journal though, as I’m the least self-disciplined person going. And tend to avoid that which has a sense of obligation attached.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

I am very much aware of my flaws and insecurities, and I do have my own ways of dealing with them...but it is difficult at times, anxiety is always there in the back, creeping up. I rarely admit it, but there are days I say some horrible things to myself

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a perception of myself. It's honest because it's how I honestly perceive myself but I'm under no illusions that my honest perception of myself might not match how others see me. We all have our own biases.

I'm aware of my flaws, possibly verging on being too critical on them but I'm a work in progress. I more often than not know the root of my triggers but sometimes they've been triggered because the person is a throbber and I don't feel the need to examine that too deeply.

I'm open to developing myself and change to a certain degree. Work in progress really."

I’m curious about being triggered bu a throbber (idiot?). Does this make examining the trigger less valuable?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself? "

Yes all the time

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly try to be. I do reflect on what's happened, how I reacted and whether j could react differently. It's a long process. I don't know all my triggers yet - perhaps this is the same with others who have experienced toxic relationships.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Eek! I’d say I’m self-aware. I don’t journal though, as I’m the least self-disciplined person going. And tend to avoid that which has a sense of obligation attached. "

I agree, that we shouldn’t feel obligated.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am very much aware of my flaws and insecurities, and I do have my own ways of dealing with them...but it is difficult at times, anxiety is always there in the back, creeping up. I rarely admit it, but there are days I say some horrible things to myself"

What’s the value in being horrible to yourself? Would you say those things to a friend?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself?

Yes all the time "

I read somewhere, it’s better to disappoint others, than yourself. You can pour form an empty cup, lovely

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I certainly try to be. I do reflect on what's happened, how I reacted and whether j could react differently. It's a long process. I don't know all my triggers yet - perhaps this is the same with others who have experienced toxic relationships. "

It’s a work in progress for sure, but worth it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself?

Yes all the time

I read somewhere, it’s better to disappoint others, than yourself. You can pour form an empty cup, lovely "

Awww thank you so much

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Like to think I am aware! And try to not react to the triggers! Sometimes very difficult! Especially when it involves loved ones! Or Sometimes complete strangers! I get angry at injustice! And tell myself not to get involved but find it difficult not to! Generally I'm a laid back open person though x

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?"

Yes and no. I see change as something totally different to my normal/routine. Development is making small adjustments, improvements maybe.

It also depends on whether I've made the choice or if someone has pointed out an area that could be changed

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself?

Yes all the time

I read somewhere, it’s better to disappoint others, than yourself. You can pour form an empty cup, lovely

Awww thank you so much "

That should say, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

You are always lovely, but you need to be as lovely to yourself

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be kind to yourself. What do you do to support yourself. You are very important. Only you know what's truly going on inside you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Like to think I am aware! And try to not react to the triggers! Sometimes very difficult! Especially when it involves loved ones! Or Sometimes complete strangers! I get angry at injustice! And tell myself not to get involved but find it difficult not to! Generally I'm a laid back open person though x"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle


"Nothing has triggered me in years. I would get wound up over stupid things and it isn’t good for your health.

Now I am completely different and feel much better for it

What’s your secret ?"

Just a different outlook on life. There are positives in everything, we just need to find them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?

Yes and no. I see change as something totally different to my normal/routine. Development is making small adjustments, improvements maybe.

It also depends on whether I've made the choice or if someone has pointed out an area that could be changed "

Perfect answer .

We don’t need to change, sometimes thought processes need changing, but not us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Be kind to yourself. What do you do to support yourself. You are very important. Only you know what's truly going on inside you. "

Kindness to yourself is vital .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nothing has triggered me in years. I would get wound up over stupid things and it isn’t good for your health.

Now I am completely different and feel much better for it

What’s your secret ?

Just a different outlook on life. There are positives in everything, we just need to find them. "

Love this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself?

Yes all the time

I read somewhere, it’s better to disappoint others, than yourself. You can pour form an empty cup, lovely

Awww thank you so much

That should say, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

You are always lovely, but you need to be as lovely to yourself "

Yes I think I do need to start being

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I’m curious about being triggered bu a throbber (idiot?). Does this make examining the trigger less valuable?"

Yes, most of the time. I don't want to devote my time and emotional energy to examining certain things. It's enough that I've recognised my feeling, dealt with it and moved on. That's me putting myself first and what works best for me, I'm too prone to overthinking anyway so don't want to unnecessarily facilitate it when it won't serve me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m curious about being triggered bu a throbber (idiot?). Does this make examining the trigger less valuable?

Yes, most of the time. I don't want to devote my time and emotional energy to examining certain things. It's enough that I've recognised my feeling, dealt with it and moved on. That's me putting myself first and what works best for me, I'm too prone to overthinking anyway so don't want to unnecessarily facilitate it when it won't serve me. "

I think recognising what has been brought up is valuable in itself.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I’m curious about being triggered bu a throbber (idiot?). Does this make examining the trigger less valuable?

Yes, most of the time. I don't want to devote my time and emotional energy to examining certain things. It's enough that I've recognised my feeling, dealt with it and moved on. That's me putting myself first and what works best for me, I'm too prone to overthinking anyway so don't want to unnecessarily facilitate it when it won't serve me.

I think recognising what has been brought up is valuable in itself."

I'm glad we agree.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"I am very much aware of my flaws and insecurities, and I do have my own ways of dealing with them...but it is difficult at times, anxiety is always there in the back, creeping up. I rarely admit it, but there are days I say some horrible things to myself

What’s the value in being horrible to yourself? Would you say those things to a friend? "

There is no value...and no I wouldn't say those things to anyone else...and I understand what you are trying to say, but if you think it's that easy (just acknowledge it and it goes away), you don't understand anxiety...it's like a demon that's always there and you try to control it as much as you can, it never goes away. In comparison to other people that suffer with anxiety, who can be very impulsive and explosive and aggressive, I do poses enough self control and discipline (and the necessary ambition to constantly strengthen these attributes), which I am very proud of, but it never goes away. I do reflect on the nasty words I sometimes say to myself, that's how I come to be able to talk about it, and in the rare moments I do open and talk about it, I am not looking for advice...I just hope people listen

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself? "

I do and that is my downfall

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Probably not. I don't know how you know whether you're self aware of not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To a fault

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Ridiculously stubborn. Not sure it can be changed though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I am. I'm acutely aware of my limitations and triggers as an introvert. I catch my thoughts all the time especially if I'm about to comment on something. When you act as an expert illegal proceedings you have to be aware of all points of view and the difference between fact an opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Do I know most of my triggers and how the effect me? Yeah in the main, I'm quite predicable to be honest, been the same since my teens.

There are pros and cons though to it as there is with much in life. There is a balance to be had I think which can be difficult to achieve.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m curious about being triggered bu a throbber (idiot?). Does this make examining the trigger less valuable?

Yes, most of the time. I don't want to devote my time and emotional energy to examining certain things. It's enough that I've recognised my feeling, dealt with it and moved on. That's me putting myself first and what works best for me, I'm too prone to overthinking anyway so don't want to unnecessarily facilitate it when it won't serve me.

I think recognising what has been brought up is valuable in itself.

I'm glad we agree. "

Well we have to sometimes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am very much aware of my flaws and insecurities, and I do have my own ways of dealing with them...but it is difficult at times, anxiety is always there in the back, creeping up. I rarely admit it, but there are days I say some horrible things to myself

What’s the value in being horrible to yourself? Would you say those things to a friend?

There is no value...and no I wouldn't say those things to anyone else...and I understand what you are trying to say, but if you think it's that easy (just acknowledge it and it goes away), you don't understand anxiety...it's like a demon that's always there and you try to control it as much as you can, it never goes away. In comparison to other people that suffer with anxiety, who can be very impulsive and explosive and aggressive, I do poses enough self control and discipline (and the necessary ambition to constantly strengthen these attributes), which I am very proud of, but it never goes away. I do reflect on the nasty words I sometimes say to myself, that's how I come to be able to talk about it, and in the rare moments I do open and talk about it, I am not looking for advice...I just hope people listen"

I do understand, really I do.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good

Do you put others before yourself?

I do and that is my downfall"

You can’t pour from an empty cup

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably not. I don't know how you know whether you're self aware of not"

For me, I guess when I examine things that trigger me, look at my thought processes, my awareness around how I may land with others etc…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To a fault "

Is that a positive?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ridiculously stubborn. Not sure it can be changed though "

Do you want to change it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd say I am. I'm acutely aware of my limitations and triggers as an introvert. I catch my thoughts all the time especially if I'm about to comment on something. When you act as an expert illegal proceedings you have to be aware of all points of view and the difference between fact an opinion. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do I know most of my triggers and how the effect me? Yeah in the main, I'm quite predicable to be honest, been the same since my teens.

There are pros and cons though to it as there is with much in life. There is a balance to be had I think which can be difficult to achieve. "

I agree, to not have so much self examination that you aren’t living life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Probably not. I don't know how you know whether you're self aware of not

For me, I guess when I examine things that trigger me, look at my thought processes, my awareness around how I may land with others etc…"

Ok. I do that to a degree but does there come a point where you question the validity of your thought process? Is the awareness of my self that I have the same as other people's awareness of me and is that even important?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My biggest flaw is my anger. I’m not violent or anything I just don’t have a lot of patience for things/people that annoy me and I can be really snappy if my mood isn’t right.

I’ve worked very hard on this over the years and I’ve improved a lot. I found going to the gym has helped me release a lot of anger and also improves my mood but I still have my moments.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?

Yes and no. I see change as something totally different to my normal/routine. Development is making small adjustments, improvements maybe.

It also depends on whether I've made the choice or if someone has pointed out an area that could be changed

Perfect answer .

We don’t need to change, sometimes thought processes need changing, but not us."

Exactly.

I'm perfectly happy in myself, I don't feel the need to strive to improve. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I know I'm not. I'm just comfortable and comfortable is good.

I spent years wondering if I was good enough when I should have been worried about happy enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To a fault

Is that a positive?"

I suppose it’s more positive now than it used to be. I found myself losing the plot at work far too often and had to start looking for the reasons why before I was sacked, I’ve now narrowed it down to my head wanting to do a weeks work in an hour which led to anxiety induced outbursts of rage. I narrowed it further down to me eating chocolate the night before does something to me the next day. Each night I kept off chocolate I was fine and just got on with things. Overthinking much?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably not. I don't know how you know whether you're self aware of not

For me, I guess when I examine things that trigger me, look at my thought processes, my awareness around how I may land with others etc…

Ok. I do that to a degree but does there come a point where you question the validity of your thought process? Is the awareness of my self that I have the same as other people's awareness of me and is that even important?"

Ooh, good questions! One to ponder for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My biggest flaw is my anger. I’m not violent or anything I just don’t have a lot of patience for things/people that annoy me and I can be really snappy if my mood isn’t right.

I’ve worked very hard on this over the years and I’ve improved a lot. I found going to the gym has helped me release a lot of anger and also improves my mood but I still have my moments."

But you’re aware of it, so that’s a positive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?

Yes and no. I see change as something totally different to my normal/routine. Development is making small adjustments, improvements maybe.

It also depends on whether I've made the choice or if someone has pointed out an area that could be changed

Perfect answer .

We don’t need to change, sometimes thought processes need changing, but not us.

Exactly.

I'm perfectly happy in myself, I don't feel the need to strive to improve. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I know I'm not. I'm just comfortable and comfortable is good.

I spent years wondering if I was good enough when I should have been worried about happy enough"

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

God yes . The last 18 months or so I've learned way more about myself than the previous 46 odd years haha..

I've kinda found my niche , my preferred lifestyle , my social life has improved hugely , and for the first time in around 20 years I'm living life the way I want not what others deem fit for me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?

Yes and no. I see change as something totally different to my normal/routine. Development is making small adjustments, improvements maybe.

It also depends on whether I've made the choice or if someone has pointed out an area that could be changed

Perfect answer .

We don’t need to change, sometimes thought processes need changing, but not us.

Exactly.

I'm perfectly happy in myself, I don't feel the need to strive to improve. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I know I'm not. I'm just comfortable and comfortable is good.

I spent years wondering if I was good enough when I should have been worried about happy enough"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Ridiculously stubborn. Not sure it can be changed though "
i don’t know. I think maybe it protects me. I’m not even sure stubborn is the right word.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To a fault

Is that a positive?

I suppose it’s more positive now than it used to be. I found myself losing the plot at work far too often and had to start looking for the reasons why before I was sacked, I’ve now narrowed it down to my head wanting to do a weeks work in an hour which led to anxiety induced outbursts of rage. I narrowed it further down to me eating chocolate the night before does something to me the next day. Each night I kept off chocolate I was fine and just got on with things. Overthinking much? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

God yes . The last 18 months or so I've learned way more about myself than the previous 46 odd years haha..

I've kinda found my niche , my preferred lifestyle , my social life has improved hugely , and for the first time in around 20 years I'm living life the way I want not what others deem fit for me "

That’s great

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ridiculously stubborn. Not sure it can be changed though i don’t know. I think maybe it protects me. I’m not even sure stubborn is the right word. "

Protective?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I'm very much self deprecating. Too much according to some.

Journal, no.

Open to change? I'm a bloke, we aren't wired that way. Development, in the last couple of years I've definitely opened my eyes to new things.

Isn’t changing and developing the same thing?

Yes and no. I see change as something totally different to my normal/routine. Development is making small adjustments, improvements maybe.

It also depends on whether I've made the choice or if someone has pointed out an area that could be changed

Perfect answer .

We don’t need to change, sometimes thought processes need changing, but not us.

Exactly.

I'm perfectly happy in myself, I don't feel the need to strive to improve. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I know I'm not. I'm just comfortable and comfortable is good.

I spent years wondering if I was good enough when I should have been worried about happy enough"

I like this.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Ridiculously stubborn. Not sure it can be changed though i don’t know. I think maybe it protects me. I’m not even sure stubborn is the right word.

Protective?"

Over myself I think yeah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My biggest flaw is my anger. I’m not violent or anything I just don’t have a lot of patience for things/people that annoy me and I can be really snappy if my mood isn’t right.

I’ve worked very hard on this over the years and I’ve improved a lot. I found going to the gym has helped me release a lot of anger and also improves my mood but I still have my moments.

But you’re aware of it, so that’s a positive."

Yeah usually if I’m arguing or being snappy with someone I’m quick to realise it’s probably me being unreasonable or overreacting and I can take myself away from the situation.

I also think my wife has helped me with it because she’s so laid back and she has a way of just calming me instantly

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ridiculously stubborn. Not sure it can be changed though i don’t know. I think maybe it protects me. I’m not even sure stubborn is the right word.

Protective?

Over myself I think yeah "

Does it bother you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My biggest flaw is my anger. I’m not violent or anything I just don’t have a lot of patience for things/people that annoy me and I can be really snappy if my mood isn’t right.

I’ve worked very hard on this over the years and I’ve improved a lot. I found going to the gym has helped me release a lot of anger and also improves my mood but I still have my moments.

But you’re aware of it, so that’s a positive.

Yeah usually if I’m arguing or being snappy with someone I’m quick to realise it’s probably me being unreasonable or overreacting and I can take myself away from the situation.

I also think my wife has helped me with it because she’s so laid back and she has a way of just calming me instantly "

(or tell some Dad jokes )

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I am self aware but I've never journaled or anything along those lines.

For the first 40 years I wasn't self aware and did everything without question.

Then illness caused me to take stock and realise I had only been coping up to that point.

That was followed by 9 years of looking for ways to change and develop but it was like banging my head against a wall and all to no avail.

Just before turning 50 a number of things happened that will remain private but it was like shining a spotlight on my strengths and weaknesses.

I now know what my triggers are and I embrace them and have no intention of changing them or hiding from them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My biggest flaw is my anger. I’m not violent or anything I just don’t have a lot of patience for things/people that annoy me and I can be really snappy if my mood isn’t right.

I’ve worked very hard on this over the years and I’ve improved a lot. I found going to the gym has helped me release a lot of anger and also improves my mood but I still have my moments.

But you’re aware of it, so that’s a positive.

Yeah usually if I’m arguing or being snappy with someone I’m quick to realise it’s probably me being unreasonable or overreacting and I can take myself away from the situation.

I also think my wife has helped me with it because she’s so laid back and she has a way of just calming me instantly

(or tell some Dad jokes )"

I’ve got a couple ready for the next thread

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

God yes . The last 18 months or so I've learned way more about myself than the previous 46 odd years haha..

I've kinda found my niche , my preferred lifestyle , my social life has improved hugely , and for the first time in around 20 years I'm living life the way I want not what others deem fit for me

That’s great "

Thankyou xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am self aware but I've never journaled or anything along those lines.

For the first 40 years I wasn't self aware and did everything without question.

Then illness caused me to take stock and realise I had only been coping up to that point.

That was followed by 9 years of looking for ways to change and develop but it was like banging my head against a wall and all to no avail.

Just before turning 50 a number of things happened that will remain private but it was like shining a spotlight on my strengths and weaknesses.

I now know what my triggers are and I embrace them and have no intention of changing them or hiding from them. "

That sounds harsh, but ultimately good?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My biggest flaw is my anger. I’m not violent or anything I just don’t have a lot of patience for things/people that annoy me and I can be really snappy if my mood isn’t right.

I’ve worked very hard on this over the years and I’ve improved a lot. I found going to the gym has helped me release a lot of anger and also improves my mood but I still have my moments.

But you’re aware of it, so that’s a positive.

Yeah usually if I’m arguing or being snappy with someone I’m quick to realise it’s probably me being unreasonable or overreacting and I can take myself away from the situation.

I also think my wife has helped me with it because she’s so laid back and she has a way of just calming me instantly

(or tell some Dad jokes )

I’ve got a couple ready for the next thread "

Yay

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

God yes . The last 18 months or so I've learned way more about myself than the previous 46 odd years haha..

I've kinda found my niche , my preferred lifestyle , my social life has improved hugely , and for the first time in around 20 years I'm living life the way I want not what others deem fit for me

That’s great

Thankyou xx"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I certainly try to be. I do reflect on what's happened, how I reacted and whether j could react differently. It's a long process. I don't know all my triggers yet - perhaps this is the same with others who have experienced toxic relationships.

It’s a work in progress for sure, but worth it."

Very much for me too. I'd like to stop being so horrible to myself and about myself, I'm trying hard to counter that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m aware that I can be a dickhead sometimes.

I’m also aware that I don’t care.

I guess that counts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've actually become more stubborn the older I've got and I say "no" more often. Think it's because my mum always expected me to be available for her 24/7 as I grew up. So probably a flaw to some people but not to me. It's assertive x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I certainly try to be. I do reflect on what's happened, how I reacted and whether j could react differently. It's a long process. I don't know all my triggers yet - perhaps this is the same with others who have experienced toxic relationships.

It’s a work in progress for sure, but worth it.

Very much for me too. I'd like to stop being so horrible to myself and about myself, I'm trying hard to counter that. "

Yes, it’s tough, but every little step helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More so than I was, I used to be an arrogant prick, I try to be better to myself and others now, is a work in progress

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m aware that I can be a dickhead sometimes.

I’m also aware that I don’t care.

I guess that counts."

So self awareness around yourself, but now how you might land on others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've actually become more stubborn the older I've got and I say "no" more often. Think it's because my mum always expected me to be available for her 24/7 as I grew up. So probably a flaw to some people but not to me. It's assertive x"

The ability to say no is absolutely not a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"More so than I was, I used to be an arrogant prick, I try to be better to myself and others now, is a work in progress"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've actually become more stubborn the older I've got and I say "no" more often. Think it's because my mum always expected me to be available for her 24/7 as I grew up. So probably a flaw to some people but not to me. It's assertive x

The ability to say no is absolutely not a bad thing. "

Absolutely and it feels good saying it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've actually become more stubborn the older I've got and I say "no" more often. Think it's because my mum always expected me to be available for her 24/7 as I grew up. So probably a flaw to some people but not to me. It's assertive x

The ability to say no is absolutely not a bad thing.

Absolutely and it feels good saying it "

It’s important to be kind to yourself , and that’s part of it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

Yes, I’m sure I have some exhibitionist and narcissistic tendencies and I veer from supreme confidence in my looks and personality to doubt. Being truthful I’ve for a long time needed some validation from others and it’s probably a factor in me now being part of this lifestyle. That said, being here has been a breath of fresh air for me, I feel more attractive and desired than I have for a very long time.

All the above said I’m a deeply caring person and I’m usually aware of my own ridiculousness and I would always put others happiness above my own.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading you OP, no, I guess I am not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could do with some hair straighteners

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

Yes, I’m sure I have some exhibitionist and narcissistic tendencies and I veer from supreme confidence in my looks and personality to doubt. Being truthful I’ve for a long time needed some validation from others and it’s probably a factor in me now being part of this lifestyle. That said, being here has been a breath of fresh air for me, I feel more attractive and desired than I have for a very long time.

All the above said I’m a deeply caring person and I’m usually aware of my own ridiculousness and I would always put others happiness above my own."

I think most who consider whether or not they are narcissistic, tend not to be.

It’s good to have confidence in yourself

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Reading you OP, no, I guess I am not!"

Is that ok for you? It’s not a criticism of those who aren’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww definitely I have a few areas I can definitely lose myself, need to be careful but thankfully know when I need to use my tools, tips off load to trusted friends, gym exercise outdoors and reading

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By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover

The older I get, the more I recognise my strengths and weaknesses.

I learned in my late 40s that the reason I always felt somewhat detached from the larger part of those around me, but still formed incredibly close bonds with a handful of people, was that I was autistic. Finding that out unlocked a whole realisation for me to explain how, and why, I’d always felt out of step.

It also explained where my strengths come from, and why I can do some things without effort that most people simply can’t.

I’ve been privileged, a couple of times, to have had close working relationships with small teams, where our mutual strengths augment each other, and our weaknesses cancel out. Finding a fit like that is priceless, because it not only highlighted my value in the team, it also showed me just how much better others were at some things than I was. It helped me improve in those areas, and it also showed me where my limits were and when it would be best to defer to one of the others, because their skill set eclipsed mine in those instances.

Success in my current role is almost entirely attributable to my being autistic. Recognising that has been great for my peace of mind.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

Yes, I’m sure I have some exhibitionist and narcissistic tendencies and I veer from supreme confidence in my looks and personality to doubt. Being truthful I’ve for a long time needed some validation from others and it’s probably a factor in me now being part of this lifestyle. That said, being here has been a breath of fresh air for me, I feel more attractive and desired than I have for a very long time.

All the above said I’m a deeply caring person and I’m usually aware of my own ridiculousness and I would always put others happiness above my own.

I think most who consider whether or not they are narcissistic, tend not to be.

It’s good to have confidence in yourself "

Interesting because that’s what professional told me and yet I have a view of myself as being somewhat vain, self absorbed and self important at times. Sorry I’m being very open with my flaws here!! I will reiterate though I do profoundly care for others and not just those closest to me so perhaps I can’t be that much of a narcissist…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Aww definitely I have a few areas I can definitely lose myself, need to be careful but thankfully know when I need to use my tools, tips off load to trusted friends, gym exercise outdoors and reading "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The older I get, the more I recognise my strengths and weaknesses.

I learned in my late 40s that the reason I always felt somewhat detached from the larger part of those around me, but still formed incredibly close bonds with a handful of people, was that I was autistic. Finding that out unlocked a whole realisation for me to explain how, and why, I’d always felt out of step.

It also explained where my strengths come from, and why I can do some things without effort that most people simply can’t.

I’ve been privileged, a couple of times, to have had close working relationships with small teams, where our mutual strengths augment each other, and our weaknesses cancel out. Finding a fit like that is priceless, because it not only highlighted my value in the team, it also showed me just how much better others were at some things than I was. It helped me improve in those areas, and it also showed me where my limits were and when it would be best to defer to one of the others, because their skill set eclipsed mine in those instances.

Success in my current role is almost entirely attributable to my being autistic. Recognising that has been great for my peace of mind. "

That’s lovely

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

Yes, I’m sure I have some exhibitionist and narcissistic tendencies and I veer from supreme confidence in my looks and personality to doubt. Being truthful I’ve for a long time needed some validation from others and it’s probably a factor in me now being part of this lifestyle. That said, being here has been a breath of fresh air for me, I feel more attractive and desired than I have for a very long time.

All the above said I’m a deeply caring person and I’m usually aware of my own ridiculousness and I would always put others happiness above my own.

I think most who consider whether or not they are narcissistic, tend not to be.

It’s good to have confidence in yourself

Interesting because that’s what professional told me and yet I have a view of myself as being somewhat vain, self absorbed and self important at times. Sorry I’m being very open with my flaws here!! I will reiterate though I do profoundly care for others and not just those closest to me so perhaps I can’t be that much of a narcissist…"

It sounds like you are quite self aware, and maybe a little critical of yourself?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

Yes, I’m sure I have some exhibitionist and narcissistic tendencies and I veer from supreme confidence in my looks and personality to doubt. Being truthful I’ve for a long time needed some validation from others and it’s probably a factor in me now being part of this lifestyle. That said, being here has been a breath of fresh air for me, I feel more attractive and desired than I have for a very long time.

All the above said I’m a deeply caring person and I’m usually aware of my own ridiculousness and I would always put others happiness above my own.

I think most who consider whether or not they are narcissistic, tend not to be.

It’s good to have confidence in yourself

Interesting because that’s what professional told me and yet I have a view of myself as being somewhat vain, self absorbed and self important at times. Sorry I’m being very open with my flaws here!! I will reiterate though I do profoundly care for others and not just those closest to me so perhaps I can’t be that much of a narcissist…

It sounds like you are quite self aware, and maybe a little critical of yourself?"

Always. Going through a divorce at the moment and while nothing is black and white I have absorbed a lot of the responsibility for our marriage failing. That’s despite there being no specific reason for the break down.

I’m not down or depressed but certainly reflective at this point. The positive I take is that self awareness hopefully will make me a better, gentler partner going forward:

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heirry84Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

Yes i am aware and try my best to recognise when my flaws are rearing their ugly head so I can jump on them. I try to be honest and objective about who I am but I have learnt as much about myself from others as I have myself. Sometimes I'm surprised by how other perceive my actions so this also helps me understand more about myself as well.

I have always been open to self development and try to understand why I act certain ways. I try not to think too much about the cause of certain triggers as then I feel like I am justifying them. I instead work on recognising when I am being triggered and find ways to change.

What about you op? Some beautiful questions that I would like to hear your point of view on

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heirry84Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"Yes and I know my biggest flaw is my grateist asset

I am to kind and helping for my own good "

You can never be too kind or helping. If people take advantage of it, shame on them not you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

Yes, I’m sure I have some exhibitionist and narcissistic tendencies and I veer from supreme confidence in my looks and personality to doubt. Being truthful I’ve for a long time needed some validation from others and it’s probably a factor in me now being part of this lifestyle. That said, being here has been a breath of fresh air for me, I feel more attractive and desired than I have for a very long time.

All the above said I’m a deeply caring person and I’m usually aware of my own ridiculousness and I would always put others happiness above my own.

I think most who consider whether or not they are narcissistic, tend not to be.

It’s good to have confidence in yourself

Interesting because that’s what professional told me and yet I have a view of myself as being somewhat vain, self absorbed and self important at times. Sorry I’m being very open with my flaws here!! I will reiterate though I do profoundly care for others and not just those closest to me so perhaps I can’t be that much of a narcissist…

It sounds like you are quite self aware, and maybe a little critical of yourself?

Always. Going through a divorce at the moment and while nothing is black and white I have absorbed a lot of the responsibility for our marriage failing. That’s despite there being no specific reason for the break down.

I’m not down or depressed but certainly reflective at this point. The positive I take is that self awareness hopefully will make me a better, gentler partner going forward:"

.

Be gentle with yourself.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

Yes I am/do

Had to have counselling to cope.

Will not play with anyone into being too tough, rough and abusive.

No respect, no play.

Simples!

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By *heirry84Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I think we all have aspects of ourselves that require maintenance, I’m short tempered in certain environments and I want to run before I can walk when it comes to learning new skills, I practice yoga and mindfulness to address these.

Music is my escapism and after a hard day or when I feel myself a little off balance I plug in my ear pods and take a long walk in the countryside, it helps me gain clarity and clears my occasional busy mind.

Failing that I go to my dance studio and just get lost in movement, I find it a therapeutic outlay for my emotions, it makes me feel weightless and free xx"

It's funny what people use as meditation. I've always been the same and find sports and music as great ways to get in the moment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I have always been open to self development and try to understand why I act certain ways. I try not to think too much about the cause of certain triggers as then I feel like I am justifying them. I instead work on recognising when I am being triggered and find ways to change.

What about you op? Some beautiful questions that I would like to hear your point of view on "

Similar to you, I’m very open to self development, I don’t always journal but find it can be a useful tool at times.

I’ve got into a habit of examining what arises when I’m triggered now. Sometimes I can identify what comes up fairly quickly, and sometimes it takes longer, but it’s allowed me to come from compassion and the heart a lot more.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I have loads of flaws. I've learnt that if you to try to change to please someone, you can never stop. Be yourself and be with people who like your flaws. X

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

I am fairly self aware but don't journal....I am interested in starting but not sure what to write and I'm terrible at being consistent! I think I need structure in what to write hehe

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I meditate instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm aware of my flaws but don't think I'm aware of my triggers as I feel they vary depending on my mood. Certain things may set me off one day whereas they wouldn't another. I'm generally good at finding the crux of the issue though but probably need to work on either avoiding them or how to manage it better when it does happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t really understand any of what’s been said here. I rely on bumbling my way through day to day life. Shit that used to bug me, now doesn’t, I don’t really know why. I don’t allow myself to be wound up by stuff, I don’t know why.

I solve problems that get put in front of me, as they arise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have loads of flaws. I've learnt that if you to try to change to please someone, you can never stop. Be yourself and be with people who like your flaws. X"

Absolutely. You should never change for someone. They are called flaws, but they aren’t really, they are just us.

It’s not about changing that. It’s about observing thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am fairly self aware but don't journal....I am interested in starting but not sure what to write and I'm terrible at being consistent! I think I need structure in what to write hehe "

You write whatever flows, whatever you choose, whatever you feel and whenever you feel?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I meditate instead "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm aware of my flaws but don't think I'm aware of my triggers as I feel they vary depending on my mood. Certain things may set me off one day whereas they wouldn't another. I'm generally good at finding the crux of the issue though but probably need to work on either avoiding them or how to manage it better when it does happen."

Do you avoid them, rather than examine them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don’t really understand any of what’s been said here. I rely on bumbling my way through day to day life. Shit that used to bug me, now doesn’t, I don’t really know why. I don’t allow myself to be wound up by stuff, I don’t know why.

I solve problems that get put in front of me, as they arise. "

Sounds like it works for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm aware of my flaws but don't think I'm aware of my triggers as I feel they vary depending on my mood. Certain things may set me off one day whereas they wouldn't another. I'm generally good at finding the crux of the issue though but probably need to work on either avoiding them or how to manage it better when it does happen.

Do you avoid them, rather than examine them?"

Depends on if my flaws hurt anyone. If they do, then try to examine and sort ot, if it only hurts myself, try to avoid to prevent. For example, I can get irritable if people do or say things in a way I think is wrong, to not get irritated is manageable. If things don't turn out a certain way, I can overthink it even though it's gone, I can avoid that. Hope that makes a little bit of sense haha

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I know well what my flaws are and its hard to fix some of them and impossible to fix others

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I do my best and that is all any of us can do.

I'm always trying to improve myself for myself. Like you said, you can't poor from an empty cup.

I'm definitely a work in progress.

Jo.Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes. It's been a lifelong process. I'm at the point now where I need to take a step back, and not let the perfect be the enemy of the good

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By *he HandiemanMan
over a year ago

north west

Thought i did but lately i feel a bit lost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m painfully self aware. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who can just be ignorant of their flaws so I wouldn’t stay up at night considering every possibly situation.

Am I aware of my triggers? Yes.

Am I working on them? Yes.

Is it difficult and painful? Yes.

Will it be worth it? I hope so. X

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

think I’m fairly self aware now but wasn’t always. I know when under pressure or dealing with introverts I have a tendancy to be impatient. I also get annoyed when people take longer to process things so consciously slow down and give them extra time. I know I can be brutal when people mess up so I balance it with a bit of humour & by consciously being very generous when people do well. People tell me they understand my style and appreciate the directness. I do a lot of 360 and deal with people of different cultures which helps, you offend without knowing and learn from mistakes. I know I have blind spots still, usually when under pressure or when threatened.

I dont journal much but I have mentors and have learned to welcome challenging , difficult conversations that bring about awareness, like 360 and 1-2-1 but people only tell you the truth if they respect you first and feel safe doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to pull the trigger of my 44 magnum punk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My biggest flaw if it is one is I'm too laid back. Friends think I do have flaws but they know me and know It's just me being me.

Triggers, discipline has helped me learn that nothing is worth getting frustrated, anoid or angry over. I've a couple of things and sayings that get me through the good days.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

If men or CD/tx's want to know their flaws, frequent the Fabguys forum. Some miserable married man will quickly point them out!

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I like to think that I'm self aware. I try to be brutally honest about my flaws to make sure that I'm firmly grounded in reality. I dont keep a journal, and like most things I do the bare minimum to better myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm brutally aware of my flaws which are mainly i out myself down alot and lack self confidence in certain situations

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

As self aware as skynet!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

My flaws are probably why I end up naked pretty quickly in clubs. They're on display, I'm hiding nothing and I'm too old to give a shit.

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

I’m extremely self aware, which is not always the best when you’re an over thinker! However I do try to live mindfully to stop myself going down the over analysing route Miss pc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh im all kinds of fucked up and i know it but fight i have purpose no hope but bags of purpose lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve got a bit behind .

This posting about your flaws, don’t beat yourself up. We all have them, and it’s only human.

The purpose of this thread was not for you to highlight your flaws, but to ask if you are aware of them, and if you examine them, along with your triggers?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I’ve got a bit behind .

This posting about your flaws, don’t beat yourself up. We all have them, and it’s only human.

The purpose of this thread was not for you to highlight your flaws, but to ask if you are aware of them, and if you examine them, along with your triggers?

"

Hippy. You look fantastic. Don't let the demons get to you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reading you OP, no, I guess I am not!

Is that ok for you? It’s not a criticism of those who aren’t "

I know I am a work in progress, aren't we all?

As for triggers, I think I may be too dense to understand exactly.

I don't journal but I do reflect.

I dont plan much. Maybe I should?

Food for thought, this thread x

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

Let me put it this way, Ms Hippychick. The Talking Head 9000 series is the most reliable swinger ever made. No Talking Head 9000 swinger has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting better. Started journaling.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

I am pretty self- aware and I do try to be better at correcting my flaws and become better. Don't always succeed.

My strengths top and always did believe that life's journey oz about being on a path of self improvement.

My triggers alas I am too prone Brexiters,Tories FlT earthed and covid deniers set me off but I am learning to simply walk away from. That's self improvement or st least a start

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve got a bit behind .

This posting about your flaws, don’t beat yourself up. We all have them, and it’s only human.

The purpose of this thread was not for you to highlight your flaws, but to ask if you are aware of them, and if you examine them, along with your triggers?

Hippy. You look fantastic. Don't let the demons get to you x"

Thank you, but it’s not about me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Reading you OP, no, I guess I am not!

Is that ok for you? It’s not a criticism of those who aren’t

I know I am a work in progress, aren't we all?

As for triggers, I think I may be too dense to understand exactly.

I don't journal but I do reflect.

I dont plan much. Maybe I should?

Food for thought, this thread x"

That’s why I do it .

You’re certainly not dense, when you’re triggered, when someone pushes your buttons, can you observe your thoughts, and see what it triggers within you? Our triggers are our teachers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Getting better. Started journaling. "

Yay

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?

I am pretty self- aware and I do try to be better at correcting my flaws and become better. Don't always succeed.

My strengths top and always did believe that life's journey oz about being on a path of self improvement.

My triggers alas I am too prone Brexiters,Tories FlT earthed and covid deniers set me off but I am learning to simply walk away from. That's self improvement or st least a start"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bookmarking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Getting better. Started journaling.

Yay "

Thank you

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never crossed my mind. Or to be perfectly honest, not the faintest idea what you’re talking about !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow. "

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness. "

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Albeit via a teams meeting we did a session at work during the first wave of lockdown. At that point in time everyone was in lockdown so it was intended to improve mental health, managing the working day and managing ‘your brand’ … the brand being YOU

How you cope with and manage anyone else’s perception of how you present to others. ( video/email/text etc)

I have a really low tolerance level and it shows when you’ve disrupted my tolerance boundary but the course certainly helped me to now let things I cannot change go over my head and ignore those who add to the irritability low tolerance creates. I’m quite happy to let the triggers/mood hoovers/antagonists get on with creating their own shit and not disrupt my life with it.

My ‘brand’ is important to me …

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?"

Thank you Fifey.

I am too easily distracted. I get up every Saturday morning with good intentions then I switch the news on to see the weather and befor I know it it's late morning.

I can be lazy though. But that's when I don't want to do something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?"

not at work stuff

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

not at work stuff "

Aye Beryl, I'm still tied up in trap 2. Can I come out yet? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say yes I am aware of myself. I am a pretty flawless person with only two flaws.

Flaw one: I do not have great tits without a bra

Flaw two: I am only number 2 top forumite

But other than that I am honestly incredible and very loved and super self aware.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I would say yes I am aware of myself. I am a pretty flawless person with only two flaws.

Flaw one: I do not have great tits without a bra

Flaw two: I am only number 2 top forumite

But other than that I am honestly incredible and very loved and super self aware. "

I'll take point 1 on an advisory. Point 2 I can't vouch for and the rest goes without saying x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

not at work stuff

Aye Beryl, I'm still tied up in trap 2. Can I come out yet? X"

I'll think about it

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

not at work stuff

Aye Beryl, I'm still tied up in trap 2. Can I come out yet? X

I'll think about it "

Tease x

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

not at work stuff "

That surprises me. You come across as a very determined and focused woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

not at work stuff

Aye Beryl, I'm still tied up in trap 2. Can I come out yet? X

I'll think about it

Tease x"

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know my flaws, the lack self confidence and procrastination.

Negative comments about my ability and I start to doubt my ability luckily I have a fantastic colleague who points out I have the ability.

Procrastination gawd where do I start.

But I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Oh me too with the procrastination Davie, but I've read quite a lot about it to identify why. It's not laziness.

Some of my favourite people in this conversation. You know you're all fantastic, right?

not at work stuff

That surprises me. You come across as a very determined and focused woman. "

I am, thank you. But imposter syndrome rules.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm moderately self-aware, perhaps a little more. Plenty of flaws and I invest in myself, to a reasonable extent, to improve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Developing self awareness is something that's much harder than it sounds.

I have been working hard on this and made fairly good progress. We keep telling lies to ourselves that I am doing X because of reason Y. Now we always make Y to be rational. But in reality, the things we do are hardly rational and are mostly instinctual/primal. It takes a lot of effort to go past that fake reason we tell ourselves and understand the real reason we are doing something. But once you do that, it can be quite liberating.

I don't write them down. But now that I think, writing them could be a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm moderately self-aware, perhaps a little more. Plenty of flaws and I invest in myself, to a reasonable extent, to improve. "

Agree.

I’m totally self aware of my flaws

13 yrs being told by ex how to improve

Result, divorce and the fact I now know people at work and in life actually like me.

Do need to rain it in occasionally but I’m comfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get triggered by the smallest things and one thing I have learnt over the years is talking about it, if I just bottle something up I go into some dark places so now, I make sure I open up.

In terms of stuff about myself physically, I'm not a massive lover of parts of my body and I do have hang ups about certain areas but there isn't really much I can do about it, again just talking to doughnut helps me loads when I get in a mindset like that.

Danish x

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I get triggered by the smallest things and one thing I have learnt over the years is talking about it, if I just bottle something up I go into some dark places so now, I make sure I open up.

In terms of stuff about myself physically, I'm not a massive lover of parts of my body and I do have hang ups about certain areas but there isn't really much I can do about it, again just talking to doughnut helps me loads when I get in a mindset like that.

Danish x "

I feel the need for a jammy ring all of a sudden x

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

Yes for sure. My strengths of Altai amity works for my job but I can be quite too trusting

I do like change and cope well with it - look forward to it

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? "

Not any more. What few I did have, don't bother me anymore.

Before, they would. Because I allowed them to have control over me.

Now I control them and if they ever come up, they get compartmentalised, ignored and I switch my conscious to something else.

I just had a peek in the box and it's very small and empty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Those that are interested in journaling, it doesn’t have to follow any set rules.

You can do it wherever you want, and write whatever comes.

Sometimes you can write it and leave it, sometimes you can read it back, and if you choose you can burn it.

You don’t have to do it every day it at a set time, or if you want to, you can .

It’s can be a very useful tool, sometimes for getting stuff out of your head, and in my case, sometimes it allows you to see a different perspective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuunily enough, I've always been one for writing down my thoughts and feelings. I've done it since I was a teenager and I still do it to this day. I have actually been writing a letter to my mum for a while now and I add to it every now and again. Maybe ity morbid but I wish for it to be cremated with her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuunily enough, I've always been one for writing down my thoughts and feelings. I've done it since I was a teenager and I still do it to this day. I have actually been writing a letter to my mum for a while now and I add to it every now and again. Maybe ity morbid but I wish for it to be cremated with her x"

It's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My trigger is knowing that I have no flaws really gets to me "how can I be this perfect" I shout while looking and holding my fist towards the sky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get triggered by the smallest things and one thing I have learnt over the years is talking about it, if I just bottle something up I go into some dark places so now, I make sure I open up.

In terms of stuff about myself physically, I'm not a massive lover of parts of my body and I do have hang ups about certain areas but there isn't really much I can do about it, again just talking to doughnut helps me loads when I get in a mindset like that.

Danish x

I feel the need for a jammy ring all of a sudden x"

Doughnut is the wrong pastry for what you're looking for

Doughnut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By this I mean, are you aware of your flaws/triggers? Do you have an honest perception of yourself?

Do you journal, and learn more about yourself?

What about your triggers, when you are triggered, do you take the time to examine the root of the trigger, and work to heal it?

Are you open to change/development?"

Being perfect, I don't need to consider such things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good self-awareness awareness everyone.

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