FabSwingers.com forum: Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen

By *he_Last_Titan OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.

Thinking back to my teens and twenties, a lot of girls around my area - on the edge of friendship groups and so on - did tend to date guys that treated them pretty badly. In many cases it didn’t need well for them or their / Children’s lives unfortunately.

How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?

Good morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.

How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?

Good morning

M "

Women love a bad boy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy a little bit of a chase but if they go too far in the 'treat em mean, keep them keen' then I would move on. I'm not one for playing mind games.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Not for me. Any sign of games and I’m done. I like everyone to know where they stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s all about the right mix.

I’ll tell her she’s beautiful but then push her in a nettle bush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too old for that crap.

I want nice!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Some women *cough Kylie cough* do have a soft spot for the eternal fuck/bad boy.

I don't understand why though. And I can't say I'm interested in it in the slightest. I'd much rather spend time with someone who is genuinely nice, without a hot/cold approach and I know exactly what's going on. I'm too much of an overthinker to enjoy headfucks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm too old for that crap.

I want nice!! "

The biscuits?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"It’s all about the right mix.

I’ll tell her she’s beautiful but then push her in a nettle bush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s all about the right mix.

I’ll tell her she’s beautiful but then push her in a nettle bush.

Ha ha ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm too old for that crap.

I want nice!!

The biscuits?

"
.

Well now you mention them, yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t say so at all

Would bad boy thing is bs

I know some off the basest men on the planet

And can garter you if you didn’t know who the were you wouldn’t believe

Take

rich franklin For example high school math teacher

Completely animal in the cage

carlos condit Aka natural born killer

Softly spoken but lives up to that name

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

A lot of replies seem to follow the lines “not into that”

Experience has taught me that what someone says and what someone does are very different

In my experience, the majority of women absolutely fall for the treat them mean keep them keen attitude because it says a lot of positive things about the man in questions social standing and confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of replies seem to follow the lines “not into that”

Experience has taught me that what someone says and what someone does are very different

As long as it's confidence and not arrogance. Many people confuse the two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how mean. I'm not interested in puppies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s all about the right mix.

I’ll tell her she’s beautiful but then push her in a nettle bush.

Got to keep them on their toes, can't have them knowing what you'll do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember a lass I was very keen on who said she didn’t date “good guys”… I was one of the “good guys”… yup she did “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”… perversely it does work… but it don’t mean it’s right! Then again guys do it too…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of replies seem to follow the lines “not into that”

Experience has taught me that what someone says and what someone does are very different

As long as it's confidence and not arrogance. Many people confuse the two."

A confident guy is hot!!

A cocky arrogant twat is not.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I treat them mean, but in a nice way.

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By *rReyMan
over a year ago

Fleet

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas"

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Used to go with that! Not now can't be arsed at my age! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm far too nice - I'm actively working on being a bit meaner, but I just fall back into nice - can't help it

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I also think it works better on girls that are more conventionally attractive / confident

Low confidence / attractiveness is just not gonna be able to handle the treat them mean part

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Bad boys are usually just that...boys. Most women want a man. That man must not be a doormat though.

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

I’ve been accused of being just too nice sometimes. I’ve thought about trying to be a bit meaner, but then decided, nope I like being a nice guy. I don’t like hurting people so why give myself the perceived guilt?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s getting the balance right. If a man treats me right in life, he can be very mean in the bedroom

. This is the kind of bad boy for me.

I don’t have anything to do with men that play games, or who are unkind, I like authentic, confident people.

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I genuinely have no interest in men that want to play games.

It’s possible to be nice as well as confident. Lots of women have very poor boundaries and accept poor behaviour.

I have no time for bullshit and will cut anyone off who tries it.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Usually South, Currently North

I don’t enjoy men who play games. I don’t have the confidence for it.

My best mate, who is stunning and knows that if current guy gets bored she could have a new one in the day, does because she also plays that.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

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By *he_Last_Titan OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

This to a point, but I would say that most are looking for a Queen, (day-to-day) rather than a princess ..and one who is also a enchantress at night - I use this concept rather than the usual derogatory terms that are typically wheeled out on occasions such as this...

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Yes . This exactly

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

I agree some are looking for one queen. Some are also wanting to have lots of fun with a variety of women and treat them as they are all special (hence princess label) so that none of their partners feel like just a number, they are all equally valued

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By *he_Last_Titan OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

The notion of 'princess' just reads 'sugar baby' to me. But I take your point.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's one section of the population that like to abide by the "treat them mean to keep then keen" motto. Another section that doesn't. I belong to the section that doesn't.

If you want to be treatedbor treat people like shit go right ahead though.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Part of it is physical attraction. Those that we (all of us) find physically attractive are given a bit more allowance to get away with some shit that somebody we find less attractive would get halted before they even thought of doing it.

There are limits of course, and it differs for each person. Different levels of attraction and different levels of disrespect/treat em mean.

Esentially we put up with certain things, or overlook them if it involves something we want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No truth in it what so ever I don't think.

What about the women that sometimes want a "Bad Boy/Man" to also use for their own pleasure as and when they want it?

Who can then happily switch to a "nice" guy when that's the mood that takes them at that time?

Life would be very boring if we didn't all have an experience of the two very different versions at some point.

Women can play the men just as well as they do to us sometimes.

All the labels though can firmly stay at the door, I wouldn't want to be treated like someone's Queen or Princess, Cheeky Bitch works better for me

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By *ssexguyandyMan
over a year ago

Grays

Hi this has given me hope lol

Been told I am too nice before but it's the way I am

Nicd to know some people still want that kind of person

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess "

This! I was trying to think how to word it. I know exactly what you mean. There’s a fine line

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By *he_Last_Titan OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess "

The key here is communication.

However, when you know, you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.

How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?

Good morning

Women love a bad boy..

Sadly… it’s that challenge that we get from somebody we think we can change and make better and make him commit to us.

Its all BS in the end, but it freaking works, somehow. At least for me…

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't want a project. If he isn't fully formed emotionally I'm not finishing the work his parents should have done.

"Bad boys" are usually just "little boys" on the inside. I want an equal not another child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want a project. If he isn't fully formed emotionally I'm not finishing the work his parents should have done.

"Bad boys" are usually just "little boys" on the inside. I want an equal not another child."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.

How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?

Good morning

Women love a bad boy..

Sadly… it’s that challenge that we get from somebody we think we can change and make better and make him commit to us.

Its all BS in the end, but it freaking works, somehow. At least for me… "

You shouldn't be looking to change anyone though, accept them how they are or move on surely

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Morning all, yeah there is deffo truth to the saying unfortunately. I used to be this called 'nice guy' oh he's too nice, he's a good boy like wtf? Haha

all that time thought was being a gentleman but turns out was just a 'Simp'.

Stopped being so tolerant, gained some self respect & not too lovey dovey & guess what

table started to turn.

The less attention I gave the more the girls I liked actually started showing interest. Humans are complicated that's for sure

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

The notion of 'princess' just reads 'sugar baby' to me. But I take your point. "

Thats the wonder of labels, it means something different to many people

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess

The key here is communication.

However, when you know, you know. "

Totally, communication is key. Unfortunately for some it won’t make a difference

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Morning all, yeah there is deffo truth to the saying unfortunately. I used to be this called 'nice guy' oh he's too nice, he's a good boy like wtf? Haha

all that time thought was being a gentleman but turns out was just a 'Simp'.

Stopped being so tolerant, gained some self respect & not too lovey dovey & guess what

table started to turn.

The less attention I gave the more the girls I liked actually started showing interest. Humans are complicated that's for sure

That's because the type of woman you're attracted to thrive on that sort of treatment. It genuinely is a self fulfilling prophecy.

If a guy pays me little or no attention of does that thing of waiting a set number of days between contact I just walk. I know it makes some women keener because they see it as some sort of challenge to gain his attention. Nah, sod that, I've got a life to live and things to do.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess "

That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I see it a lot with people trying to justify shitty behaviour and it baffles me.

It’s not for me. Be my equal or bugger off. First sign of twatty behaviour and I’m off. Too old for that nonsense. I appreciate kindness and respect.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess

That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different "

I notice these yes to anything men hovering around also these guys who get their date a drink and checking every detail like what tonic, how much ice etc , trying so hard to be nice but coming across all wet and needy. That must be so irritating

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess

That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different

I quite like it when he asks me what I'd like to drink, nothing worse if he gets the wrong tonic and misses the ice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prefer to just treat em but only if its deserved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a bad boy now and then m

But to be far the ones I seen been lovely in and out of the bedroom one as it's no games and they not up they own bottoms lol I fine but respect is a big one for me and got to say I meet up with Eastern Europe men end up friends with benefits my good they bad boys but look after u in a Beautiful way and have had some lovely English men to m

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant do it anymore.

I would rather have someone who is clear and consistent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life’s far to short to play games, be open and honest and if they aren’t attracted to you for you then just move on.

Sooner or later someone will be interested in you for you I’d say

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've no interest in people who have the treat them mean attitude.But I also have no interest in guys who are too nice and won't speak up if something is annoying them or thinks all women are delicate little things that can do no wrong,that's complete bullshite as well.

I like men who are confident enough in themselves that they can speak up when they want to but aren't arrogant or degrading to others. One who won't just agree with me all the time but who will say what he thinks even if he thinks I'm wrong about something. A guy who will open a door for me and spank my ass as I walk past. Just someone I get along with and we can have a laugh with each other and know there are no games being played either.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I only date and meet nice guys

Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas

I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement

) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.

Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess

Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.

Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess

That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different

I quite like it when he asks me what I'd like to drink, nothing worse if he gets the wrong tonic and misses the ice

That’s because you’re bossy

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I abide by a slightly revised version of the motto: "treat me mean, go fuck yourself".

I find it works very well for me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I abide by a slightly revised version of the motto: "treat me mean, go fuck yourself".

I find it works very well for me

exactly!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don’t want or appreciate drama in my life so I’ll have the nice man over the bad boy any day, treat me mean and you’ll be binned off straight away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was a bad boy when younger age tends to slow you down become a bit more grown up sometimes it’s a bit like

To old for this now

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Depends what you mean by nice.

I’m a bit odd in that I don’t like it when men are too needy, clingy, lovey dovey. I like men who are a bit complicated, but not too complicated. I like to know where I stand, but I don’t want to be smothered.

Being overly keen puts me right off. I like a bit of coolness. But still knowing they are interested and want me.

Nice guys tend to struggle with this. They go overboard. And whilst that is perfect for a lot of women, it’s not for me.

But then I don’t like the treat them mean types either. They don’t get far with me because I push back.

I guess I’m somewhere in the middle

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By *he_Last_Titan OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"Depends what you mean by nice.

Being overly keen puts me right off. I like a bit of coolness. But still knowing they are interested and want me.

Nice guys tend to struggle with this. They go overboard. And whilst that is perfect for a lot of women, it’s not for me.

But then I don’t like the treat them mean types either. They don’t get far with me because I push back.

I guess I’m somewhere in the middle

Most are, I suspect, but who we are and what we like doesn't always dawn fully on us, until later on in life.

This is also another good example of why not everyone is for everyone.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Not true for me

Any sign of shadiness, they'd be gone.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Unfortunately I'm one of the too nice guys, I refuse to change though and I'm also very physically demanding and overly affectionate in a relationship which is why I won't get into a relationship again because it's not appreciated

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I can't remember what we were watching but one of the lines was 'you can do anything to a woman - other than bore her'

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

In the psychological research that has looked at this it has been found that treating them mean increases levels of wanting but decreases ratings of liking. It was concluded that it’s a risky strategy and when used with a person who has no prior investment, will totally put them off

My partner has always been nice, keen, and consistent. It has been less of a rollercoaster and on occasion I’ve noticed

less of the ‘highs’ that I’ve had with other guys but ultimately I value feeling secure with him

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Way too old for that kind of shite. No messages, no interaction, I get the message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They’re really not for me….I go for the nice guy with a naughty mind

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Nope not for me

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Treat em mean, keep em keen.

Hmmmm.

The ole push you pull you bollocks. I'll tell you who it attracts, who it works on. Those who've had childhoods containing emotional turmoil and confusion and falling back into familiar territory subconsciously.

From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Treat em mean, keep em keen.

Hmmmm.

From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."

So true. Turns me right off x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never been into this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Treat em mean, keep em keen.

Hmmmm.

From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."

Yep!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Treat em mean, keep em keen.

Hmmmm.

From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."

true yes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I can't remember what we were watching but one of the lines was 'you can do anything to a woman - other than bore her'

What!

. What an awful thing for anyone to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Treat em mean, keep em keen.

Hmmmm.

From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."

I feel seen. Wow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a bad boy in the bedroom, in real life absolutely not. Can't be arsed with people who play games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like confident people who know what they want, but are respectful and kind... I find 'nice' is generally cloying and expects something from me that i can't give

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