FabSwingers.com forum: Scam Phone Calls - What are the best answers?

By *ickJ OP Man
over a year ago

Hemel Hempstead

I occasionally get scam phone calls (don't we all). If I'm not busy, I'll keep them talking for a bit - if they're busy talking to me, they can't be scamming more vulnerable people.

Today's call said Amazon were going to bill me £79.99 for Prime (which is funny because I cancelled the £7.99 version last week).

When it put me through to a person, she asked whether I had an iPhone or Android - eventually she understood that I have a Nokia 3210, so asked if I had a laptop to "fix" my prime account. She then asked what I used the laptop for (email, internet?). I was then disappointed because as soon as I said I mostly used it for porn, she hung up.

With hindsight, I should have drawn it out by just saying "specialist websites".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ask them to tell me about the accident that I recently had. An awkward silence follows and then they hang up.

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By *aughtySirKinkMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I tend to ask what they're wearing in a seductive voice. Although this has back fired in the past lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always remember my granda doing a good one to a cold call about double glazing. He went along with it for ages, yes they could come out and quote etc, they asked for his address and thats when he said he lived in a tent

They soon hung up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend of mine went through the whole rigmarole of an accident cold call. Told them he'd lost every limb and eventually said he had actually died in the accident, which caused a pause while the person processed that and then they hung up on him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell them that I’m glad they called because yesterday I had my foot ram over by a Tesco lorry and Tesco have asked me to sign some stuff.

Quickly put through to a case manager whom I give all the fictitious details to.

Once I get bored I just say I feel upset and can’t continue and hang up.

I should imagine it’s somewhat frustrating for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get really flirty with whoever is calling. See how long I can keep them on the phone if I'm not up to much:

Especially funny of it's a guy.

Him: Your computer has virus, we will cut off internet connection unless you pay me to fix...

Me: you sound dreamy, I bet you have eyes you can lose yourself in...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depending on how much Time I have I play they little game

Play along and say I pay and all that

And when comes to give details I just spit out

Random number and hafe way though I go ooo no wait that’s the wrong card forgot it’s expired

Wait till I get the credit card

And so on

After I will I turn and say how Dose it feel to have your time wasted I prevented you from scamming anyone

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

When I get one about an accident and the caller asks what happened or what injury I sustained I tell them I was decapitated.

If it's just a normal cold I tell them they have interupted me getting a bj. They promptly hang up then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I died in the accident and why didn't they attended my funeral

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always remember my granda doing a good one to a cold call about double glazing. He went along with it for ages, yes they could come out and quote etc, they asked for his address and thats when he said he lived in a tent

They soon hung up."

I once had a conservatory company call during dinner

Could not have expressed how interested I was in a conservatory.

When the bloke came round he knocked I opened the door he said "You're fucking joking! Why the fuck did you say you were interested?"

"I am interested, I wanted to know how you'd put a conservatory on a 1st floor council flat?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wasn't my fault the company didn't research my address

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

I told one (that I'd had multiple calls from in a week) that I was under 18. Never heard from them again!

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

"I ask them to tell me about the accident that I recently had. An awkward silence follows and then they hang up.

Everytime I sucker them in for a few minutes and when we discuss injuries I say it was a severe whiplash & my head fell off.

Works Everytime & they just cut you off.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Put the phone up to the television when they were having a row in the pub in Eastenders, it carried on for about a minute.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

With the Windows virus ones, I used to string them along and eventually start talking about curtains.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Normally if they ask “are you the homeowner?” I say no, I’m the burglar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pass the phone to my 3 year old, they'll soon get bored.

Mrs

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I say nothing and hang up, followed by the block button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Normally if they ask “are you the homeowner?” I say no, I’m the burglar"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I say nothing and hang up, followed by the block button "

TPS works too.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Hang up. Piss them off & they are liable to spam your number even more.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I say nothing and hang up, followed by the block button "

Yep.

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By *osco78Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

When they ring up about a hearing loss claim

I always say great I've been registered deaf since I was 5

They either get excited or cut me off

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By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover

I got called recently “about my accident”. I asked if I could make a claim for amnesia. They said yes and asked for the details about the accident and I replied “I don’t remember, but you called me so you should have all the details already”

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By *iking67Man
over a year ago

BP Auckland

I usually tell them I am transferring them to my prime number and they will be charged £9.99 per minute or part of

Thay hang up sharpish then

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By *ayskiMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I ask what do they want?

Bank details, house or my body...They hang up when i say body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I get the call about the recent car accident I was in, I tell them "yeah the elephant came off worse" then I hang up on them

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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

The way the mumble the company name !!!

When I ask them to repeat to company name is when they usually hang up

I pay a premium on my business phone lines to stop this !!

So when I say to them they have called a business line and interrupted my business is another hang up time

They know that they legally can not interrupt with business lines and open them selves to liability of losses

Which is why they mumble company names !! Hoping they can’t be traced which to my dismay the call is so short and goes through a call centre exchange

Very hard to track !

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Tell them someone is at your door & ask them to hold on a second or two while I answer it.

You then find the nearest draw & put it there for 3/4's of an hour...They can't phone out & pester someone else!

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Dave once spun an accident claim call out for ages, explaining his broken thumb was caused by a police officer during a fight (true).

Why did we not claim?

She was allowed to hit me - we were competing in a medieval sword tournament... Click. Ooh, she's hung up.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

The easiest way we've found to make them hang up immediately, is to answer as a business.

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By *imbo59seMan
over a year ago

North Norfolk area

I always ask the motor accident caller which vehicle they are referring to. Explain that I have 2, the handling of both claims are currently being investigated by the Motor Insurance Bureau and the Serious Fraud Office, and this call is being recorded to provide information...... Oh.....they've gone....how strange!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell them I hit an animal on the road and it made a mess of the front of my car.

After a few minutes I let slip that it took me 20seconds to wipe the bug guts off the windscreen

After a few seconds the penny drops and they usually hang up

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan
over a year ago

button moon

In the past they’ve asked to check my DOB so give them a totally wrong date and year and they say great that’s fine thanks. Then say fuck off you scamming twats

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By *he sultan of swingMan
over a year ago

mid devon

A plumber I used to work with had a call from one of those companies asking if he had been involved in a road accident he had the phone on loud speaker and replied yes I have and they said how many people were in the car he said 5 they said was and one injured he said yes they asked what happened and he's said that him and his mates when out for drinks and a curry and on the drive home one of his mate shit his pants in the seats of the car but it was and accident lol he asked if he could claim for the valeting cost lol its was so funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually ask them to wait while I get the 'person' they are looking for then leave the phone in front of the stereo speaker while I crank up the Cannibal Corpse or System of a Down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually ask them to wait while I get the 'person' they are looking for then leave the phone in front of the stereo speaker while I crank up the Cannibal Corpse or System of a Down

System of a Down Violent Pornography is a good tune to crank up to fuck them off

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I got the tax office one, agreed to speak to someone by pressing 1.

That asked for my name, Chief Inspector Rebus National Fraud Squad, line went dead and I haven’t had a call since. That was about six months ago.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

My Dad's record was 47 minutes keeping the chap from "BT" talking... he was bored and had nothing else to do.

In the 46th minute, he suddenly remembered that he was a retired BT engineer (employed before BT even existed!) and pointed out all the flaws in the previous conversation... he was delighted he'd wasted so much of their day as it stopped them scamming at least one person that day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Russian accent pretending not to understand. Does the trick.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Forgot about that... my sister speaks enough passable Maori to really bugger them up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just whisper " I've done it but there's blood everywhere" and they always hang up

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

Many years ago my aunt had a sex pest call

He said "guess what I'm holding in my hand"

She said "what?"

He said "my cock"

She said "if it only fits in one hand I'm not interested" and she hung up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one of the best, the guy called me to discuss a new iPhone upgrade I'm entitled too (I'm not on contract).

So I acted interested.. but every two minutes, I'll ask him if I could put him on hold then I'd play elevator music for a couple minutes before repeating.

He even hung up, called back just to tell me to fu## off. Looool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Car accident - oh yes, thanks for calling, I thought no license meant I couldn't claim, but the police really made me feel under pressure to overtake, how was I meant to see the other car round the bend?

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I just impersonate as part of authority and inform them that we have traced their location and will be around shortly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just impersonate as part of authority and inform them that we have traced their location and will be around shortly"

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By *ero200Man
over a year ago

staffs

I was called by a nice Indian gentleman saying he was from Microsoft , he said my computer had been hacked, could I go and turn on my pc , he then asked me if I knew what a hacker was ? I said it’s a Maori war dance , he called me a cunt and hung up , charming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had idiots from numerous debt collection agencies ringing for about 10 years asking for someone by name for a man who has never lived here (the number was reallocated from somewhere else, presumably after he was cut off for not paying the telephone bill!).

I have given up trying to explain this to them. Sometimes I say I will go and get him and leave the line open to waste their time too, sometimes I embark on a long rant about what a terrible fellow he is and recount a long series of his (imagined) misdeeds, varying between the mundane and the bizarre, and sometimes I calmly explain that we are so fed up with getting calls for him that we have had to kill him and bury him at the bottom of the garden, which always seems to disconcert them.

Occasionally for a change I put on a ridiculous foreign accent and pretend not to understand and ask them irrelevant questions. A lot of the time unless I have nothing better to do I just tell them where to go, however!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

[Removed by poster at 23/02/22 00:07:59]

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