FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes

By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

Come on give me your best jokes

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

A couple come home from a swinging party and after a night of fun and frolicks they get some well deserved sleep! In the morning the wife wakes up and turns to the husband and says:

"wow what and incredible night! But my throat feel like the bottom of a bird cage"

The husband replies

"I'm not surprised you had a cockatoo in there last night!!"

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

What do you call a man that can't stand?

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

Umm dunno enlighten me

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

"Umm dunno enlighten me"

Neill

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Umm dunno enlighten me

Neill "

Doh

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

Have your heard about the man with 8 willy's?

That's a load of bollocks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where does a General keep his armies?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where does a General keep his armies?"

Up his sleevies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where does a General keep his armies?

Up his sleevies "

Wheeey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a French man who wears sandals?

Felipe fellop

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

You up for a riddle op?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"What do you call a man that can't stand?"

Bob ?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"What do you call a man that can't stand?"

What do you call a man who can almost stand ?

Stan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are washing machines funny?

The take the piss out of knickers

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

What do you call a magician but can't do magic?

Ian

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"You up for a riddle op?"

Go on then

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Why are washing machines funny?

The take the piss out of knickers "

Not just piss! Lol

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By *o1-NeilMan
over a year ago

northampton

"Umm dunno enlighten me

Neill "

It is true.. I spend a lot of time on my knees

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

I went into Boots yesterday I asked the man at the counter

"have you got cotton wall Balls?"

He replied

"Do I look like a Teddy bare"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a man that can't stand?

What do you call a man who can almost stand ?

Stan"

I wouldn't call them at all, bunch of liers those guys

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

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By *ettyJaneNWWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Come on give me your best jokes"

What's the odd one out between the clock, an egg and a wank

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

There was a man from Leeds he swallowed a packet of seeds in about an hour his dick was a flower and his ass was all covered in s

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By *ettyJaneNWWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

What's the odd one out between the clock, an egg and a wank "

You can beat the clock, and you can beat an egg. But you can't beat a wank

Always lady like me

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Come on give me your best jokes

What's the odd one out between the clock, an egg and a wank "

Hmm I don't know

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

What's the odd one out between the clock, an egg and a wank

You can beat the clock, and you can beat an egg. But you can't beat a wank

Always lady like me "

Lol

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone

You can't make a vitamin

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"There was a man from Leeds he swallowed a packet of seeds in about an hour his dick was a flower and his ass was all covered in s "

Swedes ?

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

"You up for a riddle op?

Go on then"

You're the train driver, just started the job. Your first long distance journey and the sun is beaming, no clouds in sight. You come to a tunnel for approximately 4 minutes long, leaving the tunnel and the sun blinds your eyes.

What colour are the train drivers eyes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the odd one out between the clock, an egg and a wank

You can beat the clock, and you can beat an egg. But you can't beat a wank

Always lady like me

Lol

Clocks cum around twice a day, eggs only come after the chicken, but wanking you can cum as much as you want.

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"You up for a riddle op?

Go on then

What colour are the train drivers eyes?"

My eyes are blue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why the blonde can't dial 911?

Because she can't find 11

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By *arbar2021Couple
over a year ago

city

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell "

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

How do you make a one dissappear?

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"There was a man from Leeds he swallowed a packet of seeds in about an hour his dick was a flower and his ass was all covered in s

Swedes ?"

Weeds! typo my bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/02/22 22:39:03]

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

Genius 10 out of 10 for creativeness

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

There was a man from Topsham he pulled out his bollocks to wash em

His wife said "Jack if you don't put em back il stand on the bastards and squash em!!

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By *unlinguyMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

Whats the difference between a good egg and a good want...

Ya can beat a good egg.

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By *arbar2021Couple
over a year ago

city

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

Genius 10 out of 10 for creativeness "

Thanks....your turn

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

There was a man from Brazil he bought and electric drill the drill backfired his back retired and his willy shot over the hill!!

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

Genius 10 out of 10 for creativeness

Thanks....your turn"

Ok let me see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There was a man from Brazil he bought and electric drill the drill backfired his back retired and his willy shot over the hill!!"

That's why you should always have protection for your willy while you're drilling a Brazillian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young man from Rhyl

Who swallowed an atomic pill

His genital organ

Was found in Glamorgan

And his nuts were found in Brazil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always figured Adam Ant for this eccentric and interesting person, but then I found out his favourite ice cream is standard vanilla.

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

Genius 10 out of 10 for creativeness

Thanks....your turn"

There was a lady from Cork id love to slip her my pork

I could jump on plane ! She might called me insane

But for id fuck her from Here to Newyork!

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By *arbar2021Couple
over a year ago

city

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

Genius 10 out of 10 for creativeness

Thanks....your turn

There was a lady from Cork id love to slip her my pork

I could jump on plane ! She might called me insane

But for id fuck her from Here to Newyork!

Love it!!!

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"Let's mix it up let's do limericks aswell

A man named _he sultan of swing(s)

No doubt great at dirty thing(s)

From devon he came

Not from Cork such a shame

If he was so much fun I could bring

Genius 10 out of 10 for creativeness

Thanks....your turn

There was a lady from Cork id love to slip her my pork

I could jump on plane ! She might called me insane

But for id fuck her from Here to Newyork!

Love it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Snow White panto has been cancelled due to a dwarf shortage.

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

What's the difference between batman and a scouser? Batman can go a night without robin

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"What's the difference between batman and a scouser? Batman can go a night without robin"

Savage

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

I apologise if this offends anyone.

What does Diana stand for?

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By *arbar2021Couple
over a year ago

city

I met my husband at a swingers party.

He said 'arent you meant to be minding the kids tonight?'

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Died in a nasty accident.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"What's the difference between batman and a scouser? Batman can go a night without robin

Savage

Robbie more like.

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

"Died in a nasty accident."

What does nasa stand for?

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

If a man comes home to find his wife on her knees completely naked on there newly laid hardwood floor she's got cum dripping out of both sides of her mouth what's the first thing he thinks ?

Atliest the floors level

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

What's the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral one?"

If you don't know, it would explain why your girlfriend can't walk straight after offering you a blowjob.

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

There once was a woman called Grace

Whose corsets would no longer lace

Her mother, Nellie

Said "there's more in your belly

Than ever went in through your face"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 dyslexics in a kitchen, one says to the other ‘ can you smell gas ?’ The other one says ‘ I can’t even smell my own name’

The mr

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

A lesbian collapsed after licking 15 fannies.Doctors think she overdosed on crack.

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

Loving these jokes guys and girls

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

Two fat blokes in a pub,one said your round.The other one said,so are you.you fat bastard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy and a girl are set up on a blind date. They meet at a nice restaurant, it all goes really well and after a few glasses of wine they are chattering about party tricks.

He picks up 4 bread rolls, juggles three and balances one on his nose, before he flicks them all into the air and they land in a neat little pyramid.

"Go on then, beat that!"

She smiles. "I can go under this table, give you the best blowjob you ever had and sing ave maria at the same time."

"Rubbish" he says.

So true to her word, she ducks under the tablecloth, gets his cock out and gives him the best gobble of his life, all the while a beautiful soprano comes forth.

As he comes to his special moment, he says to her "That was amazing. You have to tell me how you do that!"

Before she has chance to return to her seat and answer him he notices something on the other side of the table, staring at him from her wine glass.

It was a glass eye.

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

????????????????

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By *he sultan of swing OP Man
over a year ago

mid devon

"????????????????"

I think her eye socket became her mouth lol

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

"Guy and a girl are set up on a blind date. They meet at a nice restaurant, it all goes really well and after a few glasses of wine they are chattering about party tricks.

He picks up 4 bread rolls, juggles three and balances one on his nose, before he flicks them all into the air and they land in a neat little pyramid.

"Go on then, beat that!"

She smiles. "I can go under this table, give you the best blowjob you ever had and sing ave maria at the same time."

"Rubbish" he says.

So true to her word, she ducks under the tablecloth, gets his cock out and gives him the best gobble of his life, all the while a beautiful soprano comes forth.

As he comes to his special moment, he says to her "That was amazing. You have to tell me how you do that!"

Before she has chance to return to her seat and answer him he notices something on the other side of the table, staring at him from her wine glass.

It was a glass eye.

"
THIS MADE ME LAUGH

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

What has a toilet,a clitoris and a birthday have in common.

Men miss them.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Two fat blokes in a pub,one said your round.The other one said,so are you.you fat bastard."

Bernard Manning to Chubby Brown?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"What's the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral one?"

Ask the PG Tips chimps...

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

Sorry mate I did that joke 6 hours ago.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

This punchline is different.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"What's the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral one?

Ask the PG Tips chimps..."

"It's the taste"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcNMrXEE-y8

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

I mean the fat blokes one.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I mean the fat blokes one."

Ok, but that's the image you put in my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman with a micro mini skirt goes into church and sits down the front. The minister is sure he knows her and turns to the verger.

'Verger. Is that Fanny Green?'

The verger replies 'No minister, it's just the way the sun is shining through the stained glass windows.'

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By *ony tunnelMan
over a year ago

birkenhead

Sexy women are like spiders:they lead to the fly's undoing.

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