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"I can’t stand corporate speak. I’d not last a day if I were employed in that kind of environment. Bullshit truly baffles. " Oh, it truly drives me nuts. I'm a say what you mean kind if guy. An analogue man, trapped in a digital world! | |||
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"I don't even know what that means. Is it an alternative way of saying I'll have to ask the people who make decisions? " It's supposed to be, passing an idea out for consideration and then gaining peoples views ![]() | |||
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"Why not think outside the box and see the innuendo in every phrase. That way you can be entertained and have a little chuckle rather than raising your blood pressure every time you hear it " Ha! I hadn't thought of that. That could make me chuckle. A fab secret meaning. Well done that man! | |||
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"I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up. I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people. I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites. ![]() I just find the desire to drink, listening to this tosh, is hard to resist ![]() | |||
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"I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up. I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people. I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites. ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Did anyone salute? " In my mind, I was saluting with two fingers ![]() | |||
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"Get your ducks in a row before we cascade this one down will you?" A classic. Normally my response is f**k your ducks ![]() | |||
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"I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up. I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people. I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites. ![]() ![]() ![]() 110%, but can we circle back as that is quite a paradigm shift? | |||
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"Corporate speak is used mostly by idiots who are totally out of their depth and don’t know what they are doing. " Music to my ears, sweet music. I think this in most meetings ![]() | |||
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"The current indispensable phrase appears to be 'Every day is a school day'. Three months ago nobody used it. All of a sudden it is in use everywhere." Ah well! ![]() | |||
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"Oh and if someone sends me an saying they are going to reach out to me. I get all excited thinking I might get a reach around ![]() ![]() Another classic from the Grade A bullshit pile. That used to mean a fight when I was a nipper (realising I'm beginning to sound like a grumpy old man) ![]() | |||
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"Oh and if someone sends me an saying they are going to reach out to me. I get all excited thinking I might get a reach around ![]() ![]() ![]() I feel your pain. (another favourite) | |||
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"Oh and if someone sends me an saying they are going to reach out to me. I get all excited thinking I might get a reach around ![]() ![]() ![]() I bet they don't when I'm listening to their twaddle ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did!" I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() | |||
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"Having spent the day listening to bullshit management speak like this, does anyone actually enjoy this kind of phrasing, or do you detest it like me?" Sorry, I'm a bit busy right now. Let's touch base later on and decide on a plan of action to get all our ducks in a row ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() I blame The Apprentice. The whole programme is littered with all this kind of bollocks x | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious." An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar. ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() Davies, you're not 'on message' (which particular bloody message is that?) ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door) ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad ![]() | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying... | |||
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"I can't see much blue sky thinking in this thread, come on guys. " My old boss used to say that. He even had it printed on to the office wall ![]() | |||
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"I can't see much blue sky thinking in this thread, come on guys. My old boss used to say that. He even had it printed on to the office wall ![]() Oh dear... | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() I think we used to call it a suggestion box.... but I could be wrong ![]() | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() You are not trying hard enough to square the circle. | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() Give me some crayons, I'll get drawing ![]() | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() Hhhm, what if its a triangle? | |||
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"I know there is a "little book of calm". There must be a "huge fuck off sized book of management bollocks" as well." Like the yellow pages ![]() | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() You are pushing the envelope now. ![]() | |||
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing ![]() ![]() That's an oblong | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries. | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() So...what are you going to do about it...going forward?.... I think I might be losing my mind. | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Dynamic! Somebody actually put that in their CV ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no ![]() | |||
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"Can we unpack that? Actually, maybe we need to box it up and revisit it at a later date. Cuntspeak. Drives me fucking potty. " Cuntspeak ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Spreadsheets full of them. ![]() | |||
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"A number of years ago a colleague and I were sat near our team manager who was having a conversation with a consultant. It was littered with buzzwords and management bullshit. Needless to say we acted with the utmost professionalism by leaving the office so we could crack out laughing ![]() ![]() Love it. I had one colleague who described his work as 'artisan'. I nearly peed myself with laughter ![]() | |||
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"I can’t stand corporate speak. I’d not last a day if I were employed in that kind of environment. Bullshit truly baffles. Oh, it truly drives me nuts. I'm a say what you mean kind if guy. An analogue man, trapped in a digital world!" Are you Joe Walsh? ![]() | |||
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"I can’t stand corporate speak. I’d not last a day if I were employed in that kind of environment. Bullshit truly baffles. Oh, it truly drives me nuts. I'm a say what you mean kind if guy. An analogue man, trapped in a digital world! Are you Joe Walsh? ![]() I had to Google him.....I'm a little younger ![]() | |||
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"Get your ducks in a row before we cascade this one down will you? A classic. Normally my response is f**k your ducks ![]() Also hate ducks. How could you ever line up ducks?! | |||
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"Get your ducks in a row before we cascade this one down will you? A classic. Normally my response is f**k your ducks ![]() Never worked in my bath ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level. I really do as I love spreadsheets. ![]() | |||
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"I hate "kicking the tyres". Even writing it makes me angry!" My kind of lady x | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm so disappointed in you ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables..... | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It was going so well ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Your not a team player Fifey. | |||
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"Just reading some of these makes me so glad that I spend my working days locked in a cupboard on my own. " But do you lock yourself in or do they lock you in? | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I might try sneaking in some fake management phrases in, just to see if they get picked up and used. Any ideas? This is just a straw man scenario, so feel free to kick it around the room and see what falls out. (See any daft cunt can do it!) ![]() Straw man is a real one! It's used to mean someone with no cash, or little cash. It's a disease of bullshit! | |||
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"A number of years ago a colleague and I were sat near our team manager who was having a conversation with a consultant. It was littered with buzzwords and management bullshit. Needless to say we acted with the utmost professionalism by leaving the office so we could crack out laughing ![]() ![]() ![]() This consultant was MD of an IT consultancy company where they allowed their staff to choose their own job titles. One of their guys called himself a "Knowledge Engineer"! ![]() | |||
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"I might try sneaking in some fake management phrases in, just to see if they get picked up and used. Any ideas? This is just a straw man scenario, so feel free to kick it around the room and see what falls out. (See any daft cunt can do it!) ![]() | |||
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"Just reading some of these makes me so glad that I spend my working days locked in a cupboard on my own. But do you lock yourself in or do they lock you in?" I lock myself in. ![]() | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha! | |||
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'? It obviously did! I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff. I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oooooft a Pivot table ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. " Please, make it stop. Thankfully no inane meetings today. I'm bullshit free ![]() | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. " Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play ![]() | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I will action that as mine were mission critical today. | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Those weren't the figures I was hoping for ![]() | |||
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"Stop it, now! This place is already becoming as much fun as LinkedIn (by which I mean none) without this sort of thing going on. ![]() Oh come on! Think outside the box, please ![]() | |||
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"I fucking despise the term “flesh it out”. Which roughly translates as “fill this report full of absolute bollocks to make it longer and more irrelevant because I’m a fucking knob and love to waste your time”. Luckily I am now the person that tells people to “flesh it out”. Obviously I choose not to." Maybe just hack off a pound of flesh and plonk it on the table with the report? They'll soon settle for a spot of Calibri, size 12 with moderate margins ![]() | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I think I know the figures you mean. Bring them to the table. Are they deliverable? | |||
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns. Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Ah yes, deliverables. Yep, I can see DHL rocking up with that report right now ![]() | |||
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