FabSwingers.com forum: The art of letting go…

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In this day and age when someone gets under your skin and you really like them… and then when things end or they just brush you off. It’s a fine line between harassment and just genuinely wanting to not let go (with no ill meaning)

Question is how mentally do you cope with the letting go bit… personally I’ve had to just swallow the pain and respect that decision… even if one has to admire from a distance. What are your experiences…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m quite cold and brutal so I have just cut people out of my life when the time has come to part.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone tells me our relationship is over then it's over. I can walk away without looking back.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you're either the type of person who can walk away or you're not though.

It's more difficult if the person either doesn't give a reason or they are ambiguous e.g. say they don't want to see you but contact you now and again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you're either the type of person who can walk away or you're not though.

It's more difficult if the person either doesn't give a reason or they are ambiguous e.g. say they don't want to see you but contact you now and again"

If it is an abrupt end - it’s human who want to know why… but then again you just have to be cold and just accept it’s over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you're either the type of person who can walk away or you're not though.

It's more difficult if the person either doesn't give a reason or they are ambiguous e.g. say they don't want to see you but contact you now and again"

I get this completely, being one way or the other.

I keep in touch with most of my exes and we are on friendly terms. My OH tends to walk away, never to contact them again.

We are totally chalk and cheese that way

PNG x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think you're either the type of person who can walk away or you're not though.

It's more difficult if the person either doesn't give a reason or they are ambiguous e.g. say they don't want to see you but contact you now and again

If it is an abrupt end - it’s human who want to know why… but then again you just have to be cold and just accept it’s over "

Yep.

I have a friend who is adept at ending relationships but keeping her options open. E.g. saying she just wants to be friends for a while or she wants a break. She ignores 9/10 messages but answers the 10th. That sort of thing. This gives the guy false hope and prevents him moving on.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Block, delete, ignore, ghost etc

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

15 year married, 17 years together. Hard, especially with kids. Hang in.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think you're either the type of person who can walk away or you're not though.

It's more difficult if the person either doesn't give a reason or they are ambiguous e.g. say they don't want to see you but contact you now and again

I get this completely, being one way or the other.

I keep in touch with most of my exes and we are on friendly terms. My OH tends to walk away, never to contact them again.

We are totally chalk and cheese that way

PNG x "

We're both walk away people, from ex lovers and previous friends.

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

Great gym motivation when it happens.

Found my self in the situation end of last and was what I needed to focus again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im in a 18 year's marriage that has hit rock bottom, i live in a stealth camper van, she in the house with my 4 kids, for a good few years things got worse and worse, between me and my wife, always been pushed away from the word go when i wanted to show her love and passion, she never talks never communicates nor cooperates. Ever time i ask her if she like to.... Its don't know or no. I moved into a van due to an argument and an altercation between me and my eldest, she never gave me backing when sorting out the kids. 17, 16 ,7 ,4 years old. All i want now is for her to say go away or to stay i get nothing im heart broken. After a few arguments went out for a drive and stumbled upon dogging felt good but i felt back as i became something that i didn't want to be an Adulterer. Then 1 told me about the Attic in Derby swingers club where i go regularly. Then i got told about fabswingers. So here i am. Just had a right sob in my van about where i am and im stuck waiting for wife to tell me thats it but she won't. Now im seeking someone who becomes my girlfriend to pull me through, but i know i have to do this myself. This is me

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Wallow for a bit, sulk, have a strop... Then just get on with it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the best way is to go cold turkey. Cut all contact, block on social media and delete numbers.

Otherwise, one or the other, or both, are left wondering what if. It just prolongs the inevitable and makes it harder to move on.

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By *utdooorsyguyMan
over a year ago

town

It's a difficult one, as if your happy in a relationship you never want it to end, you can see the future with them in it, and you don't really to let go of that.

But... If the other person can't see the future with you in it and they are un-happy enough to end things I say keep your head high, walk away and don't look back. Find some one who will share your views of the future.

Don't compromise your own dignity and don't try to make some one stay in a relationship they don't want to be in.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

The moment someone tells me they don’t want to spend time with me, I’m gone. It’s called self respect. Dispute the fact you may still like them or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont abandon people ever if iv cared for them enough to let them in they would be family to me and under no circumstances would i quit on family its against my nature and number 1 rule of life so i would simply be here if im needed if it brings me more pain its my job to be strong enough to take it prove it was real

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

You have to be cold about it and just walk away or else it eats you up. Without a doubt they will pop into your mind wondering if they are doing ok, it’s only natural, but need to leave it at that a quick thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner broke up with me during the very first lockdown and as much as it broke my heart, I didn't ask him to take me back. I knew inside it was over for good and it was a lesson learned for me x

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Im in a 18 year's marriage that has hit rock bottom, i live in a stealth camper van, she in the house with my 4 kids, for a good few years things got worse and worse, between me and my wife, always been pushed away from the word go when i wanted to show her love and passion, she never talks never communicates nor cooperates. Ever time i ask her if she like to.... Its don't know or no. I moved into a van due to an argument and an altercation between me and my eldest, she never gave me backing when sorting out the kids. 17, 16 ,7 ,4 years old. All i want now is for her to say go away or to stay i get nothing im heart broken. After a few arguments went out for a drive and stumbled upon dogging felt good but i felt back as i became something that i didn't want to be an Adulterer. Then 1 told me about the Attic in Derby swingers club where i go regularly. Then i got told about fabswingers. So here i am. Just had a right sob in my van about where i am and im stuck waiting for wife to tell me thats it but she won't. Now im seeking someone who becomes my girlfriend to pull me through, but i know i have to do this myself. This is me "

Sorry to hear about your situation, mate, but I don't understand why you can't be the one to end it, if it's got to the point of no return?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

When younger was much tougher! Now older easier to deal with just turn the page x

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Apart from 1 ex, I am on friendly terms with the rest. Splits were amicable/talked through which helped with no ill feeling on either part.

I've never looked back though, just wished them well and to be happy x

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I go by

- will ths matter in 5yrs?

If no then don't spend more than 5mins stressing over it

- if its a person, I ask will my life change dramatically for worse without them in it?

If no then probably for great good we go our own ways. No point crying over spilt milk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wallow for a bit, sulk, have a strop... Then just get on with it!"

Very honest and human…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hang in there mate… you will sort it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carlos likes to sing a song to stay happy.

"Always look on the bright side of life, du du, du du" and repeat.

cheer up old boy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm proud to a fault. If someone hurt me in that way, I'd never show it.

You don't want me?

Fine.

Fuck you.

Then I skip off to my dungeon to stick knitting needles in wee Voodoo doll models of you

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I can let go quite easily as for me it has to be totally mutual. If someone doesn’t want me I won’t want them. There’s no fun or excitement in that. Yes I’ve been a little sad when things have ended but nothing major x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As PNG mentioned I am a walk away and don't look back type I rather things don't get emotionally toxic and that what I want to avoid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm terrible for not letting go but only if it meant a lot and I let them in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm proud to a fault. If someone hurt me in that way, I'd never show it.

You don't want me?

Fine.

Fuck you.

Then I skip off to my dungeon to stick knitting needles in wee Voodoo doll models of you

Carlos thinks you have a stock of vodoo dolls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm proud to a fault. If someone hurt me in that way, I'd never show it.

You don't want me?

Fine.

Fuck you.

Then I skip off to my dungeon to stick knitting needles in wee Voodoo doll models of you

Carlos thinks you have a stock of vodoo dolls."

I'd have a big pitch fork waiting for you Carlito baby

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"If someone tells me our relationship is over then it's over. I can walk away without looking back. "

This. I wouldn’t lower myself to beg etc even if my feelings for them were more than casual

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm proud to a fault. If someone hurt me in that way, I'd never show it.

You don't want me?

Fine.

Fuck you.

Then I skip off to my dungeon to stick knitting needles in wee Voodoo doll models of you

Yeeees, now I wouldn’t ever want to stray on your bad side

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

I go no contact. I wouldn’t allow them to see if they hurt me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In this day and age when someone gets under your skin and you really like them… and then when things end or they just brush you off. It’s a fine line between harassment and just genuinely wanting to not let go (with no ill meaning)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be sad for a bit then accept it all and forget and move on never give him a second thought again

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Know your worth and walk away if the relationship is that bad, but do not seek a girlfriend to pull you through. That's not fair on anyone. Sort yourself out. Learn to love yourself. Happier days will come

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