FabSwingers.com forum: Too ugly to be here?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Absolutely not! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s not easy for anyone on here finding someone they are compatible with. Don’t be disheartened I’m sure you’ll find someone when you least expect it xx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

You're not ugly OP it's just a difficult place to get noticed sometimes x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks Nora

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much "

nah. you are not too ugly to be here. if you are we are all doomed.

and kudos to you for actually posting your face!

stick at it... its 100/1 mate..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not ugly OP it's just a difficult place to get noticed sometimes x "

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you've had two verifications of meets. Some never get any meets according to what I've read.

Take heart in that and if you ooze confidence in the forums/messages that's such an attractive trait. Far more so than looks alone x

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

What Nora said. ^^^

Everyone has a place here.

Getting a meet is like trying to catch the soap in the shower, ridiculously difficult and often requires the lunch of good timing.

It's more like finding a fiver on the pavement. You'll find it when you least expect it.

Keep the faith.

Winston

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"What Nora said. ^^^

Everyone has a place here.

Getting a meet is like trying to catch the soap in the shower, ridiculously difficult and often requires the lunch of good timing.

It's more like finding a fiver on the pavement. You'll find it when you least expect it.

Keep the faith.

Winston"

*lunch....

LUCK.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

From what I have experienced on here personality is a big factor.

I’m by no means good looking or ugly but getting yourself out there is a big part of this lifestyle.

You aren’t ugly by the way OP. Get involved in the forums and hopefully you can make some good connections.

All the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab life is tough for a lot of people at times. Only you know if it’s worth sticking around.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for your kind words, I'll take all your advices on board and hopefully grow some more confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry you should feel this way. Is it this lifestyle and this site in particular that are the root causes of your feelings? If so, it's best to discard the rotting apple to save the harvest.

Perhaps this site isn't helping to lift you as you'd hoped it would but if you change your focus of what this site can do for you, it may work to your advantage. Simply going to organised socials and talking to likeminded people without inhibitions can be an enormous boost to your confidence and change your outlook on issues.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Hey OP, it can certainly be tough on here & you need to have a relatively thick skin at times.

Just forget about the 'sex' side of things & treat it like a social outlet - A place to have a good laugh, natter & flirt. You'll get to know more people & never not may come from it as a result.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't equate lack of success on an internet site with low self value or ugliness. That really isn't how this stuff works. To be very cheesy you are most definitely worth way more than the approval of strangers on the net.

If being here is adding to your feelings of low self esteem take a short break. Refresh and regroup

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey OP, it can certainly be tough on here & you need to have a relatively thick skin at times.

Just forget about the 'sex' side of things & treat it like a social outlet - A place to have a good laugh, natter & flirt. You'll get to know more people & never not may come from it as a result.

Oh I haven't focused on the 'sex' side of things for a long time now, just getting someone to have a conversation with is hard enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come on man, it's Monday, start of a new week and a great day to start to build your confidence back up. You are physically attractive there's no doubt so get that out of your mind to begin with - it's not an issue. I would suggest going along to your local social. There will be a far more evenly balanced spread of men and women than there is on everyday fab, so you will have a great oppertunity to make new friends and possibly arrange a meet! Once you're back in the groove you'll keep in it as you will have more confidence and good times just seem to follow when you're being positive and upbeat! We all have bad days, just try to make sure today is the start of a run of good ones. Come on, you've got this!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey OP, it can certainly be tough on here & you need to have a relatively thick skin at times.

Just forget about the 'sex' side of things & treat it like a social outlet - A place to have a good laugh, natter & flirt. You'll get to know more people & never not may come from it as a result.

Oh I haven't focused on the 'sex' side of things for a long time now, just getting someone to have a conversation with is hard enough"

well now you're conversing with about 10 people!

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Get a haircut and you'll look more handsome than you already are. It's very hard for single guys on here, there's massive competition. You may be better on a dating site, not that we know too much about those sites.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess that's true!

Thank you everyone

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I guess that's true!

Thank you everyone"

What are your cake baking skills like? That's also a great way to make friends on here

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

No one is ugly, we all have a beauty within us, never doubt your own self worth on the basis of fabs on pictures, an inbox full or not so full of messages and the opinions of those who are essentially strangers. Perhaps get involved in some group social meets on here, try to connect with people in person, even if it’s just on a friendship basis.

Keep your chin up OP it’s a big pond with lots of fishes - sometimes you just need to keep swimming if you feel at anytime your drowning - take a step back and gain some clarity, big hugs from me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a haircut and you'll look more handsome than you already are. It's very hard for single guys on here, there's massive competition. You may be better on a dating site, not that we know too much about those sites."

I'm due a haircut actually, perhaps I'll do it today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t beat yourself up mate.

It’s tough to get a response on hear due to the volume of messages that people have to sort through.

Keep your head up, the replies your getting on here prove you have a place here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I guess that's true!

Thank you everyone

What are your cake baking skills like? That's also a great way to make friends on here

Cakes... Not bad actually although I don't really make them all that much. I'd rather make interesting meals

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No one is ugly, we all have a beauty within us, never doubt your own self worth on the basis of fabs on pictures, an inbox full or not so full of messages and the opinions of those who are essentially strangers. Perhaps get involved in some group social meets on here, try to connect with people in person, even if it’s just on a friendship basis.

Keep your chin up OP it’s a big pond with lots of fishes - sometimes you just need to keep swimming if you feel at anytime your drowning - take a step back and gain some clarity, big hugs from me

Thank you, appreciate the hugs x

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much "

I wholeheartedly sympathise with you OP, I was in a similar situation myself when I joined. It's really shit to have such low self esteem and self confidence, I know. All I can say is that things will get better, just try and let the lack of attention wash over you. Once you make a few friends here you will start to feel better about yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much "

You're a good looking bloke.

Not everyone will fancy you. Jason Momoa does nothing for me but many women get moist for him....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much

You're a good looking bloke too. Like you should be in a boy band.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

We're all just normal people at the end of the day.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Just a thought. Why don’t you go to some group socials. They’re always good fun and a good place to meet people face to face which I find much easier. If you go on the meets section they are advertised there x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just a thought. Why don’t you go to some group socials. They’re always good fun and a good place to meet people face to face which I find much easier. If you go on the meets section they are advertised there x"

That's a great idea. I'll have a look and see which are near(ish) to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww don't say things like that about yourself, although I think we all do negself talk sometimes and can be our own worst critic.

Personality wins over looks here I feel anyway

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much

You're a good looking bloke too. Like you should be in a boy band.

Thank you! Honestly I'm a lot better than I used to be. I was just a little concerned for our OP

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

There are other places were the balance is more reflective of society.

Here there is as you would expect a bias in favour of women and couples.

I think it is always best to have more than one outlet for dates.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Mate, we can't be everyone's cup of tea, but we will be someone's. Just keep plugging away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep your chin up OP it’s a big pond with lots of fishes - sometimes you just need to keep swimming if you feel at anytime your drowning - take a step back and gain some clarity, big hugs from me

I strongly disagree with the first part of this statement; I've seen some horrifically ugly people on this site. You're not one of them though OP, so keep up the good work!

If you're looking to hook up, there are better ways of getting it done imo. You have to put a LOT of time and effort in on this site to even get a sniff of interest and even when you do, it rarely goes anywhere.

The only thing I'd recommend is trying not to display too much negativity about getting no interest. No one wants to get fingered by a moany beta.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you, and all of you for that matter. I really have low self esteem so it's nice to know that others don't view me the same way I view myself

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Thank you, and all of you for that matter. I really have low self esteem so it's nice to know that others don't view me the same way I view myself"

It's all groovy bruv.

When people see a nice personality they'll chat.

It works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

theres only one problem and its because your a man....its that simple you outnumber women and couple buy quite a big number and that number is incresing daily where women and couples seems to be in decline ....

so as a man you will have a very very hard time in geting fun there are ways a trying to make it easier but no point in saying what it is as no one ever listens ...

ask your self why you joined and if its swinging your looking for then listen to some of the very very good advice some might give

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By *uy PiercedMan
over a year ago

somewhere only we know

Try going to a club where you can meet and talk to others irl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is full of all sorts.

Everyone has different tastes so no one is too ugly or too beautiful.

Im fucking gorgeous and funny but I hardly get any attention so there's no accounting for taste.

Just be yourself, don't worry about looks, eventually something will click in chat or on a forum with someonesimilar

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By *r laidbackMan
over a year ago

London & New Brighton

My friend, confidence in urself is all that matters, i adore people that can do what makes them feel happy, not caring about what people think or what they might say, if ur a good person don't care about anything else, looks, bodyshape have nothing on a good persons character, there only 1 of you that makes you stand out from the rest.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Not ugly whatsoever! In fact no one is ugly x

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Speaking as someone else who's too unattractive for this sort of thing: Solidarity. It sucks. Got to keep plugging away though, because if we don't, we *definitely* won't get anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you're feeling better OP. We all have moments like that. I can't even show my pictures. Look up socials where you are. Talking in person rather than a screen helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much "

Please don't talk about being worthy or not worthy. How someone perceives your physical attractiveness is in no way related to your worth as a person. I'd even say that to the biggest arseholes I've argued with on here!

Get gabbin on here and see what happens x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having a great time of it at the moment and my confidence is at an all time low.

I've set a few pics to public and I'm wondering if I'm even worthy enough to be here? I see all these beautiful men and women and then I just look at myself and sigh

Is it just best I leave this lifestyle? Not that I'm in this lifestyle anyway much "

Carlos doesn't think you are too ugly, Carlos has seen far uglier people than you and some are even having sex with each other. Let's hope they don't have children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great advice on here. just be yourself. Confidence in yourself. You won't be everyone cup of tea, nor will everyone be your cup of tea. Who. All that matters is being happy yourself. Personality is key to attraction.

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