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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the first one, but as a female i was certainly conditioned to do both for males in the family /wider network

I'm hoping people with children are raising them to be far more enlightened nowadays?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I agree with the first one, but as a female i was certainly conditioned to do both for males in the family /wider network

I'm hoping people with children are raising them to be far more enlightened nowadays? "

I hope so too and that the days of men being measured against old fashioned standards are quickly going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you like to be treated /thought of?

I'd like to be respected for my brain /thought process and artistic /creativity

My boss sent me an email last mobth suggesting i change my home lighting so others could 'appreciate my lovely smile' I've turned the lighting down further

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely "

No I don't agree. Men and women often have huge and often unrealistic expectations of each other. Women and men are taught from birth how to treat each other. Unfortunately they aren't always taught to treat each other respectfully.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"I agree with the first one, but as a female i was certainly conditioned to do both for males in the family /wider network

I'm hoping people with children are raising them to be far more enlightened nowadays?

I hope so too and that the days of men being measured against old fashioned standards are quickly going"

You obviously haven't been on Twitter. So much toxic bullshit about male/female expectations and standards.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely "

No. I don't agree with either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wasn't raised on how to treat a man, or what to expect. I was taught good manners and how to treat people as a whole.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely

No I don't agree. Men and women often have huge and often unrealistic expectations of each other. Women and men are taught from birth how to treat each other. Unfortunately they aren't always taught to treat each other respectfully."

I'm going to agree with this, saves me waffling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How would you like to be treated /thought of?

I'd like to be respected for my brain /thought process and artistic /creativity

My boss sent me an email last mobth suggesting i change my home lighting so others could 'appreciate my lovely smile' I've turned the lighting down further "

Appreciation and respect are 2 big things on the surface but it goes a lot deeper for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely

No I don't agree. Men and women often have huge and often unrealistic expectations of each other. Women and men are taught from birth how to treat each other. Unfortunately they aren't always taught to treat each other respectfully."

Where do you think the lack of respect come from? Understanding of differences?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I agree with the first one, but as a female i was certainly conditioned to do both for males in the family /wider network

I'm hoping people with children are raising them to be far more enlightened nowadays?

I hope so too and that the days of men being measured against old fashioned standards are quickly going

You obviously haven't been on Twitter. So much toxic bullshit about male/female expectations and standards."

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own


"I wasn't raised on how to treat a man, or what to expect. I was taught good manners and how to treat people as a whole. "

Exactly the same

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By *rincessPuddleDuck22Woman
over a year ago

.•°°


"I wasn't raised on how to treat a man, or what to expect. I was taught good manners and how to treat people as a whole.

Exactly the same "

It was the same for me too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely

No I don't agree. Men and women often have huge and often unrealistic expectations of each other. Women and men are taught from birth how to treat each other. Unfortunately they aren't always taught to treat each other respectfully.

Where do you think the lack of respect come from? Understanding of differences? "

Some of it is cultural, some of it societal and some familial. I've seen some shocking behaviour by humans towards each other based on their gender.

I don't think we necessarily need to understand difference but we do need to understand that difference exists.

For myself I just want to be treated as a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you like to be treated /thought of?

I'd like to be respected for my brain /thought process and artistic /creativity

My boss sent me an email last mobth suggesting i change my home lighting so others could 'appreciate my lovely smile' I've turned the lighting down further "

Good grief! Wow what a dick!

Good for you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The men and women in my family, especially the older generations were treated very differently to each other. Bear in mind that my grandparents were born at the end of the C19th and my parents in the late 1920s early 1930s. Expectations of each gender was very different too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually do to an extent. All we hear about is how men should treat women but men deserve the same respect, courtesy and consideration too. Instead of focusing on what a person should be, we should spend more time teaching about what a healthy relationship should look like.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How would you like to be treated /thought of?

I'd like to be respected for my brain /thought process and artistic /creativity

My boss sent me an email last mobth suggesting i change my home lighting so others could 'appreciate my lovely smile' I've turned the lighting down further "

Is your boss a man or woman?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If men are raised to learn how to treat women then some of them have terrible memories .

Honestly I think we all have different wants and expectations in relationships and the real joy comes when you find someone you match with.

In reality you need a balance of the two. Of course you should treat someone well but if it's all one way, it's not fair or healthy. I also think it's worth remembering that if you have certain expectations you will be unhappy if aren't met, you should communicate them.

It's also worth remembering that different people show each other they love each other in different ways and as much as you should absolutely communicate the things that make you feel loved, you will also be much happier if you can tap into the ways your partner uniquely expresses their love rather than having a fixed idea of how someone should.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree with the first one, but as a female i was certainly conditioned to do both for males in the family /wider network

I'm hoping people with children are raising them to be far more enlightened nowadays?

I hope so too and that the days of men being measured against old fashioned standards are quickly going

You obviously haven't been on Twitter. So much toxic bullshit about male/female expectations and standards."

I stay away from toxicity and just focus on building people up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you like to be treated /thought of?

I'd like to be respected for my brain /thought process and artistic /creativity

My boss sent me an email last mobth suggesting i change my home lighting so others could 'appreciate my lovely smile' I've turned the lighting down further

Good grief! Wow what a dick!

Good for you. "

Yeah that's what i said.. I was steaming haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you like to be treated /thought of?

I'd like to be respected for my brain /thought process and artistic /creativity

My boss sent me an email last mobth suggesting i change my home lighting so others could 'appreciate my lovely smile' I've turned the lighting down further

Is your boss a man or woman? "

Male! With a pretty old mentality... He had a previous female team member wear her colleagues (bigger) clothing for an official photo because he didn't like her perfectly acceptable dress she looks like she dressed up in her mums wardrobe

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't really agree. A lot of people know to be treat other people regardless of gender. I believe in treating everyone well until they give me a reason not to then I just cut them loose.

On both sides there are those who treat others absolutely horrifically and then can't even see they are doing it,and even if they do they find some way to try and justify it.All you have to do is look at the forums on any given day and you see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most families have a variety of dysfunctional characteristics that shape our lives. But you don't improve without making a lot of mistakes with a lot of people.

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By *for2Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Not sure I agree I think it depends on who and how you were raised. I was raised to always be polite, respectful and considerate no matter who I was dealing with male or female. I was also taught to do washing ironing cleaning and basic sewing, possibly a bit unusual for someone my age but its stood me in good stead. So I think its down to both you as a person and how you were raised as to how you treat others.

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By *heirry84Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I wasn't raised on how to treat a man, or what to expect. I was taught good manners and how to treat people as a whole. "

Yeah this 100%. I was raised to treat everyone with respect not just women. Both my parents made no distinction between the sexes, justice it clear to treat others how I want to be treated.

I was still taught to be a gentleman but again, this was to everyone and not just females

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I wasn’t taught to differentiate in how I treat people. Everyone deserves basic respect and manners, male or female, unless/until they show otherwise (be that more or less).

The only education I was given that differentiated was being urged by my mum not to fall into the very common trap of being a wife/Mum who sacrificed their career to be a SAHP or part timer while a husband worked and earned more as you can rarely get parity back and if the marriage breaks down that’s a shit situation to be in (as my mum was). But then she has equally encouraged my brother not to assume that his wife should be the one to sacrifice their career as well.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Also one of my earliest memories was my Grandad telling off my uncle. Uncle was having a bit of a whinge about his girlfriend not keeping on top of the housework and my Grandad asked him if his penis inhibited his use of the washing machine or hoover

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Men do not treat women in the same way they treat men and women do not treat men in the same way they treat women. It's blatantly obvious on fab and pretty plain in real life too

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

No i definitely do not agree.men and women use each other for there own gains.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely "

Yes it’s true in my case. All three daughters had a lot of training / conditioning in what to expect from guys, from a very early age and still continues now into 20s and 30s. I guess I was always aware of the male privilege and abuse that exists so seemed sensible to train them that way. I don’t think I’d do it any different now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Returning to the op.

Both sentences show gynocentrism, and the chivalric code that was designed to uphold it. Each sentence comes out favourably for the female. She expects his utility and service. He is expected to fulfill those requirements. Such is the code that has been historic for European nations for over a thousand years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Returning to the op.

Both sentences show gynocentrism, and the chivalric code that was designed to uphold it. Each sentence comes out favourably for the female. She expects his utility and service. He is expected to fulfill those requirements. Such is the code that has been historic for European nations for over a thousand years."

That’s interesting you mentioned chivalry as it’s often misunderstood what that actually was

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Like others have said I don't agree with this at all. I treat everyone equally regardless of gender.

Some people get the words gentleman and sychophant mixed up and shower women with compliments and grandiose respect but aren't capable of a kind word to another man.

My daughters all grew up around boys and were able to have numerous male friends who treated them as equals. The only time this ever became an issue was when other young women took offence at these friendships and attempted to disrupt them to no avail.

Both genders have expectations, some of which may have been instilled by nurture but most are modelled on their peers.

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By *and1009Man
over a year ago

borders

Na. All that needs to change. Both sex’s need to have a mutual respect for each other. Long gone are the days of the providing man and the good little housewife. And good riddance to them too, unless that’s where your genuinely happy to be.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

If I was born over 100 years ago I’d probably agree with your sentences.

Times have changed, I was taught to be myself, stand up for myself but be respectful to others.

As for home life, its always been a shared chores house, example I f one cooks the other washes up. Same with finances, split down the middle as I don’t expect a man to provide for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely

Yes it’s true in my case. All three daughters had a lot of training / conditioning in what to expect from guys, from a very early age and still continues now into 20s and 30s. I guess I was always aware of the male privilege and abuse that exists so seemed sensible to train them that way. I don’t think I’d do it any different now "

Can you clarify a little what you mean by training on what to expect from men - do you mean prepare them to be on their guard against abuse and misogyny?

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

No I disagree. I was taught to treat people with respect regardless of gender. And no expectations either way. People will treat you with respect or they won’t. How you react to that is the key.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely "

Yes

I was raised with toxic negativity of what to expect from a man

I had to learn when I escaped of how to treat a man and then reevaluate my expectations of a man

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma


"I’ve just heard this….

A man is raised to learn how to treat a woman not what to expect.

A woman is raised to learn what to expect from a man not how to treat a man.

Do you agree with this?

Discuss and please play nicely

No I don't agree. Men and women often have huge and often unrealistic expectations of each other. Women and men are taught from birth how to treat each other. Unfortunately they aren't always taught to treat each other respectfully."

I agree that people are taught from birth, and we should never underestimate the things that are learnt in the playground, some great, some not so.

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