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"There's loads of people whose posts I like, for many different reasons. I'm crap at remembering profile names and if people return I rarely know who they were before. I tend to like the post and not necessarily the person. I don't look at profiles so I'm not swayed by pics like everyone else seems to be. There's people who I disagree with but would love a coffee with. I don't tell them because I don't have amazing pics and I'm not worth a shag so my opinion would be entirely irrelevant to them. " You might be pleasantly surprised if you did tell them. Not everyone on fab has the sole purpose of trying to get a shag. Some actually like to have conversations that are about things other than sex | |||
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"There's loads of people whose posts I like, for many different reasons. I'm crap at remembering profile names and if people return I rarely know who they were before. I tend to like the post and not necessarily the person. I don't look at profiles so I'm not swayed by pics like everyone else seems to be. There's people who I disagree with but would love a coffee with. I don't tell them because I don't have amazing pics and I'm not worth a shag so my opinion would be entirely irrelevant to them. " Oh, you need to visit my profile. It's a fascinating read. | |||
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"I think overall people do know how I feel about their posts or photos etc because I show it and quite often say it. It makes sense that if people are regular contributors to the forums then there will be those that notice when they go, for a variety of reasons. Mentioning them on a thread once they have gone doesn’t mean you didn’t share your impressions of them when they were here but I understand your sentiment. It’s always nice to know isn’t it? " It was just an observation that I’ve made over the years. That more people are missed than appreciated in the moment. As they saying goes ‘you don’t miss something until it’s gone’ | |||
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"I think overall people do know how I feel about their posts or photos etc because I show it and quite often say it. It makes sense that if people are regular contributors to the forums then there will be those that notice when they go, for a variety of reasons. Mentioning them on a thread once they have gone doesn’t mean you didn’t share your impressions of them when they were here but I understand your sentiment. It’s always nice to know isn’t it? It was just an observation that I’ve made over the years. That more people are missed than appreciated in the moment. As they saying goes ‘you don’t miss something until it’s gone’ " I think the appreciation is likely to be private rather than on the forums but there are many threads where people name those that they admire for one reason or another - like the ‘best photos’ thread for instance. | |||
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"I think overall people do know how I feel about their posts or photos etc because I show it and quite often say it. It makes sense that if people are regular contributors to the forums then there will be those that notice when they go, for a variety of reasons. Mentioning them on a thread once they have gone doesn’t mean you didn’t share your impressions of them when they were here but I understand your sentiment. It’s always nice to know isn’t it? It was just an observation that I’ve made over the years. That more people are missed than appreciated in the moment. As they saying goes ‘you don’t miss something until it’s gone’ I think the appreciation is likely to be private rather than on the forums but there are many threads where people name those that they admire for one reason or another - like the ‘best photos’ thread for instance. " That’s kinda what I’m asking. Are people appreciating other people without feeling the need to go against the tide of only mentioning the same popular people? | |||
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"There's loads of people whose posts I like, for many different reasons. I'm crap at remembering profile names and if people return I rarely know who they were before. I tend to like the post and not necessarily the person. I don't look at profiles so I'm not swayed by pics like everyone else seems to be. There's people who I disagree with but would love a coffee with. I don't tell them because I don't have amazing pics and I'm not worth a shag so my opinion would be entirely irrelevant to them. Oh, you need to visit my profile. It's a fascinating read. " OMG your pics! Especially the 3rd one, how on earth did you manage that?! | |||
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"Yes I send them a PM " What is stopping you from doing it in public on the forums? Or do you do that as well? | |||
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"There's loads of people whose posts I like, for many different reasons. I'm crap at remembering profile names and if people return I rarely know who they were before. I tend to like the post and not necessarily the person. I don't look at profiles so I'm not swayed by pics like everyone else seems to be. There's people who I disagree with but would love a coffee with. I don't tell them because I don't have amazing pics and I'm not worth a shag so my opinion would be entirely irrelevant to them. You might be pleasantly surprised if you did tell them. Not everyone on fab has the sole purpose of trying to get a shag. Some actually like to have conversations that are about things other than sex " Yeah but I'm really shit at PM conversations. They often start a chat and I go blank so then they feel crap that I stop replying.. Or maybe they are relieved I stop. | |||
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"I think overall people do know how I feel about their posts or photos etc because I show it and quite often say it. It makes sense that if people are regular contributors to the forums then there will be those that notice when they go, for a variety of reasons. Mentioning them on a thread once they have gone doesn’t mean you didn’t share your impressions of them when they were here but I understand your sentiment. It’s always nice to know isn’t it? It was just an observation that I’ve made over the years. That more people are missed than appreciated in the moment. As they saying goes ‘you don’t miss something until it’s gone’ I think the appreciation is likely to be private rather than on the forums but there are many threads where people name those that they admire for one reason or another - like the ‘best photos’ thread for instance. That’s kinda what I’m asking. Are people appreciating other people without feeling the need to go against the tide of only mentioning the same popular people? " Surely people just mention the ones they appreciate, whether or not they are popular? If I was going to name someone it wouldn’t matter to me who others had named. | |||
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"Yes I send them a PM What is stopping you from doing it in public on the forums? Or do you do that as well?" Because I consider it a personal message, I'm happy to compliment on a thread but the rest is PM between us | |||
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"Beardy Guy ........listen up ..... Let's say there is a competition for best pic .... there's never any criteria so it's overly subjective and in any case no one votes for the BEST pic, they vote for their mate, they vote for the one who they want sex with, they vote for the one who they laughed with the night before, they vote for the one who listened about their breakup , they vote for the one they think will be at the next social yada yada yada...... the category was pointless.... " I agree with everything you have said but as soon as there is a most popular *insert whatever you like here, post it’s very rare that people swim against the tide. Ok I get that private messages are used to show appreciation but I just wonder why more people will leave a comment about someone who is no longer on fab as opposed to while they are here | |||
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"I don't take any notice what so ever of the 'Who do you miss' threads OR the ' who do you like threads' ...... It truly is playground shite.. " This. Ass kissing threads to inflate the already over inflated egos of some. People come, people go over the years. The forums somehow manage to survive. The worst offenders are those that grandly announce they are back Time for bed, I’m ratty after a manic nightshift. V | |||
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"i have seen posts where i completly agree with the poster but not sure it's apropriate to message them over it. Even if it is we aren't that confident to message somome over a forum post. " You should. From my experience it is always appreciated and a often a welcome break from the usual FAF messages | |||
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"I don't take any notice what so ever of the 'Who do you miss' threads OR the ' who do you like threads' ...... It truly is playground shite.. This. Ass kissing threads to inflate the already over inflated egos of some. People come, people go over the years. The forums somehow manage to survive. The worst offenders are those that grandly announce they are back Time for bed, I’m ratty after a manic nightshift. V" I miss people's input on the forums. If I say that it's nothing to do with inflating egos or arse kissing. They aren't here to read it. | |||
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"Beardy Guy ........listen up ..... Let's say there is a competition for best pic .... there's never any criteria so it's overly subjective and in any case no one votes for the BEST pic, they vote for their mate, they vote for the one who they want sex with, they vote for the one who they laughed with the night before, they vote for the one who listened about their breakup , they vote for the one they think will be at the next social yada yada yada...... the category was pointless.... " and some people will mention a good photo of someone they don't want to fuck | |||
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"Hate everyone equally and you won’t be disappointed if you don’t get a mention in a “never forget” thread. And if you do, more fool them!" Your candour will be missed. | |||
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"Hate everyone equally and you won’t be disappointed if you don’t get a mention in a “never forget” thread. And if you do, more fool them!" I enjoy your solutions | |||
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"There's loads of people whose posts I like, for many different reasons. I'm crap at remembering profile names and if people return I rarely know who they were before. I tend to like the post and not necessarily the person. I don't look at profiles so I'm not swayed by pics like everyone else seems to be. There's people who I disagree with but would love a coffee with. I don't tell them because I don't have amazing pics and I'm not worth a shag so my opinion would be entirely irrelevant to them. Oh, you need to visit my profile. It's a fascinating read. OMG your pics! Especially the 3rd one, how on earth did you manage that?!" It's amazing, isn't it, if I do say so myself? I took it as I was plunging off the bridge in the bungee cord. | |||
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"Hate everyone equally and you won’t be disappointed if you don’t get a mention in a “never forget” thread. And if you do, more fool them! Your candour will be missed. " Be honest, your’e just saying that to get in my pants! | |||
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"Weren’t the same few names mentioned on the pic thread because they have good photos though? Not everyone just chooses people because they are popular or they are friends. I definitely don’t. It’s obvious a lot do though. I chose the people I actual thought had great photos. Like I said on another thread I’ve never even interacted with one of my choices. What gets me is the people who say it affects them and they get upset if they aren’t mentioned. So what! I’m sure it gives the people who are mentioned a little boost, and deservedly so, if they have made an effort with their pics. If people get upset with “best this, best that” threads then don’t read them. " That was just an example and please don’t take this as a moaning/rant thread because it isn’t. The topic really was do you let people know in the moment that you appreciate them for who they are? Not wait until they’ve gone. Are some afraid of showing that appreciation for what ever reason and actually then just follow the crowd instead so that they don’t make themselves stand out | |||
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"Yes I send them a PM What is stopping you from doing it in public on the forums? Or do you do that as well?" This leads to the cliquey feel on occasion, and the feeling that there are groups within groups. If I appreciate person Y, then letting everyone know publicly doesn’t increase my appreciation , or their receiving of it (assuming I do it privately also), but does signal to every other user sone sort of I don’t know, allegiance of sorts, and I don’t think it helps, probably the opposite | |||
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"Weren’t the same few names mentioned on the pic thread because they have good photos though? Not everyone just chooses people because they are popular or they are friends. I definitely don’t. It’s obvious a lot do though. I chose the people I actual thought had great photos. Like I said on another thread I’ve never even interacted with one of my choices. What gets me is the people who say it affects them and they get upset if they aren’t mentioned. So what! I’m sure it gives the people who are mentioned a little boost, and deservedly so, if they have made an effort with their pics. If people get upset with “best this, best that” threads then don’t read them. That was just an example and please don’t take this as a moaning/rant thread because it isn’t. The topic really was do you let people know in the moment that you appreciate them for who they are? Not wait until they’ve gone. Are some afraid of showing that appreciation for what ever reason and actually then just follow the crowd instead so that they don’t make themselves stand out" I’ve messaged people privately before about things but very very rarely. I just don’t really think to. I pop on for a bit then pop off without too much thought so no I probably wouldn’t if I’m honest. | |||
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"Beardy Guy ........listen up ..... Let's say there is a competition for best pic .... there's never any criteria so it's overly subjective and in any case no one votes for the BEST pic, they vote for their mate, they vote for the one who they want sex with, they vote for the one who they laughed with the night before, they vote for the one who listened about their breakup , they vote for the one they think will be at the next social yada yada yada...... the category was pointless.... I agree with everything you have said but as soon as there is a most popular *insert whatever you like here, post it’s very rare that people swim against the tide. Ok I get that private messages are used to show appreciation but I just wonder why more people will leave a comment about someone who is no longer on fab as opposed to while they are here" To me that bears the hallmarks of 'not knowing what you've got till it's gone' ... + not appreciating what you HAVE got and always chasing something you HAVENT got. I also think that people find it easier to mention someone who can't hear what they say and are fearful of rejection from those who can hear what they say. Sad when humans cannot speak their hearts and minds when it matters. | |||
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"Beardy Guy ........listen up ..... Let's say there is a competition for best pic .... there's never any criteria so it's overly subjective and in any case no one votes for the BEST pic, they vote for their mate, they vote for the one who they want sex with, they vote for the one who they laughed with the night before, they vote for the one who listened about their breakup , they vote for the one they think will be at the next social yada yada yada...... the category was pointless.... I agree with everything you have said but as soon as there is a most popular *insert whatever you like here, post it’s very rare that people swim against the tide. Ok I get that private messages are used to show appreciation but I just wonder why more people will leave a comment about someone who is no longer on fab as opposed to while they are here To me that bears the hallmarks of 'not knowing what you've got till it's gone' ... + not appreciating what you HAVE got and always chasing something you HAVENT got. I also think that people find it easier to mention someone who can't hear what they say and are fearful of rejection from those who can hear what they say. Sad when humans cannot speak their hearts and minds when it matters. " 100% this ^^ | |||
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"Sad when humans cannot speak their hearts and minds when it matters. " Granny you make my spaf shrooms happy! | |||
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"Beardy Guy ........listen up ..... Let's say there is a competition for best pic .... there's never any criteria so it's overly subjective and in any case no one votes for the BEST pic, they vote for their mate, they vote for the one who they want sex with, they vote for the one who they laughed with the night before, they vote for the one who listened about their breakup , they vote for the one they think will be at the next social yada yada yada...... the category was pointless.... " I’m going to disagree with this. I mentioned a few people who I’ve never spoken to, other than a message to say their gallery was beautiful. The purpose was to show them appreciation (my message), and mentioning them on the thread because they don’t use the forum, and so others could also appreciate them. | |||
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"I like your post here Beardy. It’s well-considered and thought provoking, and I too have wondered the same sometimes. This place can feel a bit like high school at times! I don’t mean that in a negative way … it’s just how it is. And as lovely as Fabbers are, I don’t personally feel that Fab is a healthy place for me to be long-term. I don’t want to get sucked into the need for validation." You won’t though if you’re not that type of person. I’ve been here years and never have x | |||
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"Yes, I have noticed that of you Maybe you’re stronger than me " You seem a tough cookie . And I also don’t want you to leave | |||
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"I like your post here Beardy. It’s well-considered and thought provoking, and I too have wondered the same sometimes. This place can feel a bit like high school at times! I don’t mean that in a negative way … it’s just how it is. And as lovely as Fabbers are, I don’t personally feel that Fab is a healthy place for me to be long-term. I don’t want to get sucked into the need for validation. You won’t though if you’re not that type of person. I’ve been here years and never have x" I agree with Nora, it's easy to get sucked into it, and I did for a bit. Now I don't and flit in and out more than I used to. | |||
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"Yes, I have noticed that of you Maybe you’re stronger than me You seem a tough cookie . And I also don’t want you to leave " Please stay you make such valuable contributions to the Forum. | |||
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"I like your post here Beardy. It’s well-considered and thought provoking, and I too have wondered the same sometimes. This place can feel a bit like high school at times! I don’t mean that in a negative way … it’s just how it is. And as lovely as Fabbers are, I don’t personally feel that Fab is a healthy place for me to be long-term. I don’t want to get sucked into the need for validation." I agree with this 100% however, I think you fit in pretty well | |||
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"I like your post here Beardy. It’s well-considered and thought provoking, and I too have wondered the same sometimes. This place can feel a bit like high school at times! I don’t mean that in a negative way … it’s just how it is. And as lovely as Fabbers are, I don’t personally feel that Fab is a healthy place for me to be long-term. I don’t want to get sucked into the need for validation." I take regular breaks, last one was for nearly 2 years. My plans have changed so will be going again soon. I know what you mean re the validation, it's quite sad to see that some crave and need it x | |||
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"Beardy Guy ........listen up ..... Let's say there is a competition for best pic .... there's never any criteria so it's overly subjective and in any case no one votes for the BEST pic, they vote for their mate, they vote for the one who they want sex with, they vote for the one who they laughed with the night before, they vote for the one who listened about their breakup , they vote for the one they think will be at the next social yada yada yada...... the category was pointless.... I agree with everything you have said but as soon as there is a most popular *insert whatever you like here, post it’s very rare that people swim against the tide. Ok I get that private messages are used to show appreciation but I just wonder why more people will leave a comment about someone who is no longer on fab as opposed to while they are here" I’m a bit confused by this thread I have to say Can’t they do both? Appreciate people when they are here but still mention them once they leave? I feel sure that if too much appreciation was shown on a thread then people would say it was lamppost pissing that’s the way it usually goes. | |||
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"Sad when humans cannot speak their hearts and minds when it matters. Granny you make my spaf shrooms happy!" Why ........ thenk you What a delightful thing to hear. | |||
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"Noone appreciates me on fab, feeling a little lonely " Come sit by me, I’ve saved you some veggie lasagne | |||
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"Noone appreciates me on fab, feeling a little lonely Come sit by me, I’ve saved you some veggie lasagne " I like mine with sweet potato fries please? | |||
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"It’s always been the same names for years now… some new people manage to make the list every now and them but it gets yawnsome… I tend to skip those threads. it doesn’t affect me anymore really. However, it would be nice to get some appreciation sometime and as someone said on here once, I feel I have pretty much to offer but the initiative to post gets lost when threads are ignored. " I hope (if you want to) that you find the desire to continue posting. I appreciate you and have shown so in private message threads/games. I'm sure lots more do also but ach... I think people read comments, nod and don't necessarily verbalize their agreement. Sometimes I think Outsider is right about if they was a little arrow or tick to show someone agrees, people would feel less invisible. | |||
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"Like I said on another thread recently I'm not invested enough in the Lounge to notice who is posting what and I wouldn't notice if someone left. In general across the forums I wouldn't miss anyone at all because anyone I've made any sort of connection with I'm already chatting to privately so it wouldn't matter if they left. I avoid all the threads that mention people who are missed for the reasons above but also because I believe it makes it even more difficult for newbies if they are constantly reminded that their contributions aren't valued in the same way former posters were. Inclusivity is often given as a measuring stick to whether or not someone is worth a mention but as someone who posted in the lounge for almost 18 months before someone decided to acknowledge anything I'd said I don't see many practicing what they preach. I would have given up on the forums completely if I hadn't received a better reception in the Irish forum. " In the spirit of the OP I’d just like to say I like your posts and tend to agree with you. I think if I replied and quoted them all to tell you would look a bit weird and may be misconstrued though. | |||
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"Like I said on another thread recently I'm not invested enough in the Lounge to notice who is posting what and I wouldn't notice if someone left. In general across the forums I wouldn't miss anyone at all because anyone I've made any sort of connection with I'm already chatting to privately so it wouldn't matter if they left. I avoid all the threads that mention people who are missed for the reasons above but also because I believe it makes it even more difficult for newbies if they are constantly reminded that their contributions aren't valued in the same way former posters were. Inclusivity is often given as a measuring stick to whether or not someone is worth a mention but as someone who posted in the lounge for almost 18 months before someone decided to acknowledge anything I'd said I don't see many practicing what they preach. I would have given up on the forums completely if I hadn't received a better reception in the Irish forum. In the spirit of the OP I’d just like to say I like your posts and tend to agree with you. I think if I replied and quoted them all to tell you would look a bit weird and may be misconstrued though. " Like | |||
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