FabSwingers.com forum: Gay or Bi = Shaneful ???

By *ingle To Mingle OP Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

This is going to be a 2 Question thread.

Q1. Is it shameful to be gay or bisexual?

Once (if) there's quite a few replies, I'll ask the second question to see what people's opinions are on that.

I promise it's not a trick question or set up, just the start of a conversation about a topic that's not often addressed.

Cheers everyone

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By *ingle To Mingle OP Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

And yes we'd all love to be filled by Shane (thank you in advance)

Bloody autocorrect!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Why would it be shameful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would it be shameful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would it be shameful? "

My thoughts exactly haha!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Why would it be shameful?

My thoughts exactly haha!"

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Is this click bait? Sorry, OP, just can't see how this could be shameful??

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By *ingle To Mingle OP Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

"Is this click bait? Sorry, OP, just can't see how this could be shameful??"

I thought my post made it clear that I'm gaining opinions for the 2nd part of a 2 question thread???

Please no hijacking, respectfully asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To older generations yes sadly.

Although a recent poll suggested that 1 in 2 i.e. 50% of young people aged 18-24 don't consider them to be fully at either the heterosexual or homosexual ends of the spectrum i.e. they are Bi to some degree.

I work on a project with this age group and that very muchs mirrors what I see. Young adults simply don't care or worry about it in the same way many of us in our 30s, 40s and 50s do.

I personally think its amazing that we have come this far but the fact that this very thread exists shows there's still more work to be done!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a straight, straight man (not Fab straight and not on a spectrum somewhere) then my opinion is no, it’s not at all ‘shameful’ to be bi or gay. If you like the same sex, so be it.

I don’t want to pre-judge or guess your secondary question, but if it’s along the lines of “why do so many people say they’re straight on here when they’re not if it’s not shameful” then I would guess it’s because many straight people might not want to meet bi-men for various reasons so it keeps options open for them to say they’re straight. Who knows!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just ask both questions?

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By *urvytreatWoman
over a year ago

somewhere nice

Someone’s sexual preference has as much to do with someone as whether they drink tea or coffee. It’s their preference and therefore no shame

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By *anPsurreycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

Not at all shameful. What ever makes someone happy good for them. No one should judge anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope it’s more fun to be bi

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

To me, no.

Do I think fetishes or hangups or stigma still persists? Yes.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A lot of people feel ashamed of being gay or bi. A lot of people think it's shameful.

I don't

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Absolutely not, although sadly I think we still have a long way to go before it's accepted in the same way being straight is

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By *immerman100Man
over a year ago

Never never land

I'm bi not ashamed of it but there is still a stigma to it in the older generation

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I remember that Shane from Neighbours was in Queer As Folk…. Great show it was to

But seriously, there should be no shame attached to one’s sexuality, whatever it may be.

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By *ogerroger69Man
over a year ago

West Yorks

Not shameful at all x

Be proud of what you like! Xxx

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By *ingle To Mingle OP Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

"Why not just ask both questions? "

Because it would affect the first set of answers.

But don't worry, this is just the yes/no part the debate question comes later - honestly.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

I doubt anyone is going to post on a swingers forum to say they think it is shameful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see zero issue with it. I think the responses here should reassure you.

Just be yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh God, definitely not shameful.

Maybe in some generations or cultures, but not in my eyes!

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Is this click bait? Sorry, OP, just can't see how this could be shameful??

I thought my post made it clear that I'm gaining opinions for the 2nd part of a 2 question thread???

Please no hijacking, respectfully asked."

Sorry, OP. Didn't think I was hijacking - just trying to answer your first question! No offence intended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It shouldn't be, but it seems to get a fair buit of a pounding on here, especially from couples??

Each to their own I say, I can't for the life of me see why it should be shameful, though that's how society on the whole has viewed it historically.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Why not just ask both questions? "

Might as well get the post numbers up.

*shrug emote would be perfect*

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

You can’t seriously be asking this?

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By *llovereveryMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"This is going to be a 2 Question thread.

Q1. Is it shameful to be gay or bisexual?

Once (if) there's quite a few replies, I'll ask the second question to see what people's opinions are on that.

I promise it's not a trick question or set up, just the start of a conversation about a topic that's not often addressed.

Cheers everyone

If you internalise it as shamefulness for yourself then it is i.e. who can say "no" if that is what you feel and believe. And there's nothing wrong with that because by acknowledging "the shame" you can work through it. For others the answer will be no. Yet others will may say "why doesn't it even matter".

From my perspective associating shamefullness with any sex or gender identity is about social settlement or engineering. I was raised in a post colonial patriarchal world where my environment gave me fixed ideas. Note that I said fixed and not wrong. Importantly, this isn't anyone's fault (parents, teachers etc) because it represented the thought and social practises of that time.

From my own observations having worked in different places, companies and seeing the average age of the workplace plummet, I see a difference. And its a positive one. I see more acceptance, tolerance and understanding. That's my observation but I don't know everyones journey so it could be that some people still had a sense of shame at some point that they had to overcome.

If they do, then they really shouldn't and fortunately there are places (like this one) to help and many more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it’s not shameful.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Not shameful but us older generation guys cannot come out as bi as friends and family would not understand.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

No it's not shameful and I speak as someone who doesn't have even the slightest interest in other men.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Nope. Although I haven’t told anyone. But that’s not because I’m ashamed. It’s because it’s nobody’s business. I wouldn’t tell anyone if I met a man either to be fair.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 14/02/22 15:44:30]

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

I work in a very masculine dominated office with social discussion mainly directed by the half of the staff over 45. In this environment I would suggest that attitudes are still pretty derogatory towards male bisexuality and misogynistically fetishised towards female bisexuality. Strangely I feel homosexuality would be more easily accepted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not shameful at all and sadly there are still stigmas about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not.

But very few people in real life know I like women. Because it's absolutely no one else's business.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not shameful

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"No it's not shameful and I speak as someone who doesn't have even the slightest interest in other men."

Then again from reading the op I shouldn't have answered at all because as I'm not bi or gay how would I know the answer to that question? I have no experience of other people's attitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway, now I’ve answered question 1, I’ll nip off for a wank, and pop back to answer the as yet un-asked question 2.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not shameful but I still wouldn’t feel confident enough to let my friends know of my bi side.

I’m sure they’d be fine with it, maybe a bit of friendly ribbing but still not comfortable letting that secret out the bag!

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

What have you to be shameful for no one bats an eyelid anymore about them things

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I ride motorbikes, served and boxed in the Army, rock climber, marathoner, Fathered three Children but stick on a dress, makeup, wig and also being Bi and my manliness is cut in half.

Being a manly gay or bi man would be a lot easier.

Luckily I don’t look for women on the site, but for the straight TV’s and Crossdressers on this site I do feel for them.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Is this click bait? Sorry, OP, just can't see how this could be shameful??

I thought my post made it clear that I'm gaining opinions for the 2nd part of a 2 question thread???

Please no hijacking, respectfully asked.

Sorry, OP. Didn't think I was hijacking - just trying to answer your first question! No offence intended."

It wasn't hijacking. It was related to the thread in question. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologise for.

The initial OP is flawed and designed to be controversial at its core. It is mind games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Is this click bait? Sorry, OP, just can't see how this could be shameful??

I thought my post made it clear that I'm gaining opinions for the 2nd part of a 2 question thread???

Please no hijacking, respectfully asked.

Sorry, OP. Didn't think I was hijacking - just trying to answer your first question! No offence intended.

It wasn't hijacking. It was related to the thread in question. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologise for.

The initial OP is flawed and designed to be controversial at its core. It is mind games. "

Thanks, mate. I didn't think so either, but hey. We all wait with baited breath for the 2nd question...

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

I do not think there is anything shameful about being bi or gay or straight.

There are lots of reasons why a person should feel ashamed but the way a person shows their affection for another person does not come into it!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Absoulty not shamefull at all x

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Outdated attitudes, some media outlets and just plain bad people try to make it shameful. But it isn't shameful.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I wonder if part 2 will be as interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is going to be a 2 Question thread.

Q1. Is it shameful to be gay or bisexual?

Once (if) there's quite a few replies, I'll ask the second question to see what people's opinions are on that.

I promise it's not a trick question or set up, just the start of a conversation about a topic that's not often addressed.

Cheers everyone

If you're a professional footballer yes it is.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

It's not shameful but it comes with some baggage.

There's open homophobia on this site, imagine what the real world is like!

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The UK is adapting much more. Younger generation coming through are much more comfortable. The question is is it shameful to be straight?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why be ashamed about enjoying both sexes?

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

It’s not shameful at all to me, but it’s a great shame that my family wouldn’t agree!

Miss pc

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"It’s not shameful at all to me, but it’s a great shame that my family wouldn’t agree!

Miss pc"

I was just about to say something very similar. My family wouldn't understand.

Ruby

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By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

I'm not ashamed of being bi. Why should I be? If others have an issue with it it's there issue. I'm perfectly comfortable in my skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's the second question OP?

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

And of course there's also no shame in being a swinger, but I wouldn't want that to be public knowledge either.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where's the second question OP? "

I know, I feel robbed.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Where's the second question OP?

I know, I feel robbed. "

We should have insisted on a deposit.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not. You are who you are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not!!!!!

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Launceston

"And yes we'd all love to be filled by Shane (thank you in advance)

Bloody autocorrect!!"

What I want to know how did autocorrect put shaneful in when it's not a real word?? In fact when I try & write shaneful it changes it to shameful??

& Back on topic - no shame at all - that's so last century,

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By *hloetTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

Clarifying your sexuality seems really old fashioned now. It's a standard question. I ask it myself. But it means very little. In reality someone either will or will not be attracted to you. I don't actually think their sexuality makes that more or less likely. You might think it obviously does but real chemistry is far more nuanced than that generalisation.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

It isn't shameful however anyone identifies sexually. It is what it is, you are what and who you are and your sexual orientation is nothing to be ashamed of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just playing devil's advocate here, but a lot of the answers above about there being no shame attached to their sexuality add the caveat that they would never want their family or friends to find out. This implies that they do indeed find an element of what could be called "shame" in their chosen lifestyle.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Just playing devil's advocate here, but a lot of the answers above about there being no shame attached to their sexuality add the caveat that they would never want their family or friends to find out. This implies that they do indeed find an element of what could be called "shame" in their chosen lifestyle."

How much of your fab lifestyle do you share with your family or acquaintances? I don't want to be subjected to homophobia and sadly I know I would.

Gbat

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *llovereveryMan
over a year ago

Halifax

I haven't connected those comments like you have. Not wanting the family to know could also be about the inconvenience of having to explain oneself, being subject to ignorance or intolerance from family members. And many more things.

All those things can happen to a person that isn't ashamed of who they are.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I think it depends on the environment.

I worked at gatwick airport for a long time, while it was acceptable for a woman to be bisexual or even gay, it was not ok for a man to be the same.

There is still a stigma attached to it, in certain groups and areas.

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By *iPythonMan
over a year ago

In my pants

No shame! I’m me and I like it so if others don’t that’s their issue not mine!

Be yourselves, it’s more fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you describe a person's action or attitude as shameful, you think that it is so bad that the person ought to be ashamed.

You shouldn’t be ashamed of your sexuality however we know that others may see it as shameful, this can impact our decisions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes its shameful....to ask that question

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I guess the 'Fab Straights' must find it shameful.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Where's the second question OP?

I know, I feel robbed. "

Especially after Q1 promised so much!

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By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

How much of your fab lifestyle do you share with your family or acquaintances? I don't want to be subjected to homophobia and sadly I know I would.

Gbat "

People will have all sorts of different reasons for keeping elements of their life private and there's nothing wrong with that, it's their choice after all.

And I understand perfectly that for some, like yourself, the hassle you'd receive from family or others is going to be a large factor in your decision to keep things to yourself.

I never lose sight of the fact that many people don't have the freedom to be themselves due to the attitudes of others, their work situation or a myriad of other reasons.

I'm lucky. Not only can I be open about my involvement in swinging but I honestly couldn't care less what people think about it, and that includes what they think about my sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it depends on the environment.

I worked at gatwick airport for a long time, while it was acceptable for a woman to be bisexual or even gay, it was not ok for a man to be the same.

There is still a stigma attached to it, in certain groups and areas."

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I agree that, unfortunately, it depends on environment, culture, religion etc. Even in swingers clubs, bi play between women is encouraged and sought after, whereas bi male play, on a regular night, is frowned upon. Unless it happens in a private room.

I am bisexual, very open about it, but if I went back to my country, I wouldn't be able to be openly bi.

I like bi men

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Where's the second part to the question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never have and never will have shame in being gay and at times bicurious. I was born gay, accept what I am and living a true life. It is all consensual with other adults and absolutely does not harm anyone else

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By *hloetTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I never have and never will have shame in being gay and at times bicurious. I was born gay, accept what I am and living a true life. It is all consensual with other adults and absolutely does not harm anyone else

xox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe in 1940 not in 2022

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Was there ever a part 2?

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

"Was there ever a part 2?"

Yeah I whizzed to then end looking for the sequel but……I guess not.

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By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

"I agree that, unfortunately, it depends on environment, culture, religion etc. Even in swingers clubs, bi play between women is encouraged and sought after, whereas bi male play, on a regular night, is frowned upon. Unless it happens in a private room.

I am bisexual, very open about it, but if I went back to my country, I wouldn't be able to be openly bi.

I like bi men

. "

Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know."

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

"
are they blind near you you are sexy

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

are they blind near you you are sexy "

Thank you. I guess what puts many off is the fact that I wouldn't be their "naughty lunch break" facilitator. And that I require them to be openly bi on here.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

are they blind near you you are sexy

Thank you. I guess what puts many off is the fact that I wouldn't be their "naughty lunch break" facilitator. And that I require them to be openly bi on here. "
im too far away so it wouldn't matter either way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was there ever a part 2?

Yeah I whizzed to then end looking for the sequel but……I guess not."

Considering the OP made a song and dance about it surely the 2 part of the question is due?

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"Was there ever a part 2?

Yeah I whizzed to then end looking for the sequel but……I guess not.

Considering the OP made a song and dance about it surely the 2 part of the question is due?Good point

KJ"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t seriously be asking this? "

I can actually see why the question was asked. The reason I say this is I absolutely do not think it's shameful however many do and suicide rates amongst gay and bi young men is shocking!

What is shameful is that many people feel ashamed by their sexuality and that is something as a society thankfully we are addressing but we need to do more and quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think its shameful, but I have seen a lot of outspoken opinions on bi dudes that well aren't very nice. Guess people don't understand the ways in which they shame people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think its shameful, but I have seen a lot of outspoken opinions on bi dudes that well aren't very nice. Guess people don't understand the ways in which they shame people. "

Definitely this!

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"I don't think its shameful, but I have seen a lot of outspoken opinions on bi dudes that well aren't very nice. Guess people don't understand the ways in which they shame people. "
100% agree with you

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It’s not shameful at all, they are just being who they truly are.

However, unfortunately there is still a lot prejudice, dislike, whatever you want to call it, for those that aren’t seen as old traditionally ‘normal’.

So for those that are comfortable in who they really are, it is sometimes easier not to mention it to those that probably aren’t. Easier life without prejudice ruining their day.

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By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

Oh well, if all else fails sweetie can always have me on Friday.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

Oh well, if all else fails sweetie can always have me on Friday.

I am definitely having you on Friday! Both of you, actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't feel the need to label myself.

If I had to I would say a am triaxial..

Try anything sexual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q2: fancy a fuck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all.

What is shameful is bigoted folk caring about what consensual adults do with their genitals and what gender they want to describe themselves as.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Based on responses in other threads over the last few weeks there seems to be more shame attached to being straight.

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By *sylockeWoman
over a year ago

East Anglia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

Oh well, if all else fails sweetie can always have me on Friday.

I am definitely having you on Friday! Both of you, actually

Remember pics or it never happened

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By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

Oh well, if all else fails sweetie can always have me on Friday.

I am definitely having you on Friday! Both of you, actually

We look forward to it sexy lady!

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

Oh well, if all else fails sweetie can always have me on Friday.

I am definitely having you on Friday! Both of you, actually

Remember pics or it never happened

All the "photos" I need are in my head, as great memories. Also, can't take photos in swingers club.

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By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

"Since you posted this hunny, have you been inundated by requests from bi men?

By the way guys and girls, this lady is gorgeous and a pleasure to know.

Sadly, no

. Maybe there aren't that many bi men who are free in the evenings and who don't live miles away.

Oh well, if all else fails sweetie can always have me on Friday.

I am definitely having you on Friday! Both of you, actually

Remember pics or it never happened

All the "photos" I need are in my head, as great memories. Also, can't take photos in swingers club. "

Plus, you can't photograph the excitement and pure sexual energy we've got among our group of swinging friends. It has to be experienced to feel it and this wonderful lady is an integral part of our group.

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