FabSwingers.com forum: People reading and ignoring messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy is gonna say welcome to his world

Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested

Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

"A guy is gonna say welcome to his world

Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested

Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds "

All of the above

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aul40nwMan
over a year ago

wirral

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Happens all the time ... frustrating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens to us all unfortunately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes when we say a polite no thank you we get asked to justify why not or get told it’s our loss constantly, I’ve had some pretty shitty responses when I’ve just tried to be respectful in declining an offer, I wouldn’t let it stress you out OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens regular away. I tend not to give it too much thought. It's strangers on an internet site, certainly not worth being concerned about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"Happens to us all unfortunately "

Yup, welcome to fab

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I haven’t had this yet! I always reply though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Take it with a pinch of salt and move on ,

Don’t take it too personally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens to us all, just can’t dwell on it, I know I’m not for everyone and that’s completely fine.

I have no hang ups about it, I’ll just continue to be me and be just like marmite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

"A guy is gonna say welcome to his world

Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested

Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds "

Bingo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

"A guy is gonna say welcome to his world

Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested

Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds "

Plus 2 seconds x 100s of messages is a lot of time wasted.

And a polite 'no thanks' often elicits unpleasant messages in return.

And what may feel like a great message, may not land that way with the recipient.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "

Not knowing the rules is also ignorant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do this because it isn’t just one message but 100s.

Actually had to delete my entire inbox recently so a whole load of people will see unread but deleted.

No reply = not interested.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Carlos suggests you message him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say welcome to my world, but my messages rarely get read even.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Would it really be better though if they said ‘no thanks’?

As a former replier and now converted non replier, I know that for every few people that take it on the chin, there’s a vicious reply that I didn’t need to receive.

Everyone fabs differently but I can’t agree that it’s rude to not reply to everyone that messages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I dont bother looking to be honest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would it really be better though if they said ‘no thanks’?

As a former replier and now converted non replier, I know that for every few people that take it on the chin, there’s a vicious reply that I didn’t need to receive.

Everyone fabs differently but I can’t agree that it’s rude to not reply to everyone that messages.

I agree and ladies get so many messages and if it’s not a reply the other wants to hear it’s really not fair on the lady the abuse

If I don’t get a reply then I take it as a not for me and that’s completely fine, we all have our types

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

There is no rule stating you have to reply to a message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

Not really interested in replying to people who send gross messages. Also yeah I have a lot of unread messages and I don’t have time to read and reply. Sue me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "

Or just take it as a not interested and move on?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not rude

I have my filters on most of the time, but if I take them off for any reason (forum game for example) I get a few, and I don’t reply to many.

I’m not going to spend time on here knocking people back, I use my time on here as I wish.

Anyone that I reply to can then get around my filters in future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes

Or just take it as a not interested and move on?

That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes when we say a polite no thank you we get asked to justify why not or get told it’s our loss constantly, I’ve had some pretty shitty responses when I’ve just tried to be respectful in declining an offer, I wouldn’t let it stress you out OP

^^this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

2 seconds X number of messages = A lot of time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "

They obviously are not interested in you if they haven't replied so I doubt they care what you think of them anyhow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

"That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."

Read posts above and you will find many a reason to just ignore

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *outhwesthornMan
over a year ago

hallen

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Me to I'm a genuine guy a no thank would be good enough.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just knew this thread would bring out all the fab snobs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes

Or just take it as a not interested and move on?

That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."

And how is it better to receive a ‘no thanks’ message?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not rude, no one owes you a reply

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes

Or just take it as a not interested and move on?

That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."

You're not the only person to have messaged that day. Some of us get 100s of messages. There's absolutely no need to call people a cunt for not wanted to waste their time with you, but you still did it. That makes me wonder if you'd take a no well or if you'd call someone names. That's why people don't respond because for every one "ok thanks" there are two "why?" Or "didn't want to fuck you anyway you're ugly" messages.

You're not entitled to another's time or energy, it's ignorant to think you are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing to do is delete the sent messages so there’s no telling what happens to it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rangesmartieWoman
over a year ago

Devon

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

What about those people who've read and plan on coming back later to reply, at a time of their convenience?

And those who keep sending messages? I find that very off putting.

Stop checking what's happened to your message. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're meant to reply?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've had a few lame messages this week, I have no intention of clicking on them or replying because I can read the whole message without doing so. I'll reply to most people if they put thought into a message, I don't just talk to people I'd sleep with.

As for a message being left on read and not getting a reply, I'd just think nothing of it because it doesn't matter.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I tend to delete, often delete before reading because I can see from the preview of the message that I wouldn’t be in the slightest bit interested. Sometimes Ive read read and forgot to delete or reply.

I don’t ever say no thank you as my no thank you is no response as my profile states and as per rules.

Had one guy this morning throw his toys out of the pram when I didn’t respond to all five messages he sent in the space of 15 minutes.

Joys of fab

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First world problems.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

It happens o/p, just block and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

My mantra is, no reply or delete, they're not interested. If you get a reply and it's a no, respond with a pleasant thanks and move on. If you get hung up about messages, you'll quickly lose the plot on here x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "

I address this very point in my profile

Absolutely no issues being considered a rude cunt. Been called far worse by far better and I lived

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iggingMan
over a year ago

Oldham

Happens to me...just move along and realise they not interested.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its obvious from there message or there profile that they haven't read my profile then I don't reply. But otherwise I do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uttercupEWoman
over a year ago

yarmouth

I understand you point but women are outnumbered greatly on fab and rarely have a membership so have a restricted amount of messages. If I replied to say

not interested I wouldn’t have messages to have a conversation with someone I am interested in.

Also generally if they read my profile they would probably know why I haven’t responded.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes

Or just take it as a not interested and move on?

That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."

I'm happy to be thought of as rude

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

It's not rude at a, no reply means no thanks it's in the sites FAQs

By replying your allowing that person to forever override an filters you may have set now it in the future

& also 9 times out of 10 the sender hasn't read the recipients bio & woykdbt he a good match so you are literally giving the recipient unnecessary work if you expect them to reply to every message.

Plus people generally don't take no thank you very well on here. I would say at least 1 in 3 no thanks you're either met with them trying to change your mind or abuse

Hence why the site advises you to ignore messages of people you're not interested in

Interested to know if you reply to every piece of junk Mail & takeaway menu that comes through your door? I guess not, kinda the sane thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can do what they want. Some people may think it's ignorance, others may think it's their choice. It's a sex site not a right of passage. Most companies ignore you when you are unsuccessful for interviews. So if they do it, why would people wanting to get wet need to do it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Annoying as it is , many people have no manners . Just a matter of shrugging one’s shoulders and moving on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

We are on here to enjoy ourselves and have fun. Saying no 100 times a day takes the fun away from being here.

Especially if one of those 100 then turns nasty. What do we gain out of the situation by saying no ? Absolutely nothing .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"I understand you point but women are outnumbered greatly on fab and rarely have a membership so have a restricted amount of messages. If I replied to say

not interested I wouldn’t have messages to have a conversation with someone I am interested in.

Also generally if they read my profile they would probably know why I haven’t responded. "

That’s a good point I never thought of! I’d much rather spend my limited messages on people I’m interested in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Harsh as it may sound, just because someone sends me a message, it doesn't mean they own a piece of my life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

"
I used to think this but a friend showed me her inbox it would take her all day to reply to them it made me think again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Then it takes another 2 seconds to answer "why not" questions.

Then another 2 seconds to answer "no, there's nothing you can do to change my mind"

Then it takes another 2 seconds to block that person after a pile of insults.

Then multiply it by 20. Every day....

So fucking rude huh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you all just block me now before I'm tempted to message you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

^^this "

Doubled

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Sorry it happens to all on here at time just dont let it put you off as theres lots of great people on here too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

Happens to the best of us I’m afraid.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry it happens to all on here at time just dont let it put you off as theres lots of great people on here too"

Just because people don’t reply, it doesn’t mean they aren’t great too, it just means they prioritise their own time. As someone said above, just because someone messaged you, doesn’t mean they are entitled to your time and energy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "

Oh dear. How will I live with myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

What about those people who've read and plan on coming back later to reply, at a time of their convenience?

And those who keep sending messages? I find that very off putting.

Stop checking what's happened to your message. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, move on."

So true, I often read and think I’ll reply later when I’ve time to consider reply and have even been blocked because I didn’t reply quick enough haha

I have had too many follow up messages from my polite no thank you ones to waste time and energy on them now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Sorry it happens to all on here at time just dont let it put you off as theres lots of great people on here too"

So if I don’t reply to a ‘Hi’ or ‘fancy a fuck’ message I’m not a decent person ?

Or are those messages acceptable to ignore ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Get over it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *x cplCouple
over a year ago

North of Oxford

We agree it might only take a few seconds to say not interested, but this can also been seen as an opening in many cases to chat, It also might take a few seconds longer for the message sender to read the profile of the who they message and clearly be outside what they look for but they still message. If they can't be bothered to read profiles and they are clearly outside what we state why should we respond.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *age500Woman
over a year ago

ashton-under-lyne

I don’t think it’s rude at all. The way I see it is that I didn’t ask for a message, I don’t owe a response.

If someone sends a really nice message or you can tell a lot of effort has been made (which is an extremely rare occurrence) then I’ll send a polite no thank you. But other than that, I don’t respond

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Write message, see it's been read, no reply within a day or two, block recipient to avoid constantly getting ignored. It's not hard.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" We agree it might only take a few seconds to say not interested, but this can also been seen as an opening in many cases to chat, It also might take a few seconds longer for the message sender to read the profile of the who they message and clearly be outside what they look for but they still message. If they can't be bothered to read profiles and they are clearly outside what we state why should we respond. "

Simple answer is you shouldn’t

If I don’t get a response from a message then I really just use mg brain and understand I’m clearly not from them and like wise they aren’t for me. I was recently speaking with somebody who I really felt a connection with, constantly messaging on here and then via an app out of nowhere the conversation ended ….. yes I was disappointed but people can just switch off I just don’t take it personal … just move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember no one has asked you to message them. You don’t have to send them a message. You do have a choice. Happens to everyone on here so, you’re no different to anyone else in not getting replies. It’s a site for fun, not a job x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Do you reply to your junk mail from the postie then?

Same thing in my eyes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy is gonna say welcome to his world

Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested

Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds "

This…. Plus sometimes if you reply with a polite no thank you… you get a rude response back…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

Send your message and don't check back.

Keep your eyes on the inbox only.

Many people are nervous to say no thank you, for one reason or another.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Let me give 2 different perspectives. On my single profile I will generally reply of the message is polite and this profile we rarely do as people are just sending random messages and with the quantity it would just take too much time away from the reason that we are on fab

Beard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's life on the Internet

Get over it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

"
some people seem to only get a certain amount nof messages to send each day if they use the site on a phone

so maybe they just try to save them for people they want to meet,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems to be the norm now. makes me think they might reply when other half has read the message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes a lot of time to reply to all messages, I try to be polite most of the time but really it’s more hassle than it’s worth.

As others have said no reply = no interested

It’s so much easier to ignore messages than into, why? Or abuse sent back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell people I won't reply and still they message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If you're talking about single women, they're allowed to not reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just knew this thread would bring out all the fab snobs

Snob for not replying, I’ve heard it all now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "

Don’t be ridiculous. It can be 200/300 a day for some people. Why should they reply when it’s more often than not a shit message anyway and they haven’t read the profile. Get real.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude

I feeling your pain….!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *akbearMan
over a year ago

Newbury

I try, but a reply sometimes gives people the idea that your no thanks means maybe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 seconds x hundreds of times, for people who didn't even bother reading my profile but pretend they have.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Vital SparkMan
over a year ago

Preston

I do reply to each and every one of my messages. Proves I don't get many

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s rude at all. The way I see it is that I didn’t ask for a message, I don’t owe a response.

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I don’t think it’s rude at all. The way I see it is that I didn’t ask for a message, I don’t owe a response.

This "

This for me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes

Don’t be ridiculous. It can be 200/300 a day for some people. Why should they reply when it’s more often than not a shit message anyway and they haven’t read the profile. Get real. "

Yep

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread