FabSwingers.com forum: Dad jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve tried to wait, but I can’t (

all you like)

Hit me with your best (worst) jokes

I had a date last night.

It was perfect.

Tomorrow I'Il try a grape.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Ok. I will

Where do math teachers go on

vacation?

Times Square.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Oh I have a good joke about chemistry but I don't think it'll get a reaction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok. I will

Where do math teachers go on

vacation?

Times Square."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh I have a good joke about chemistry but I don't think it'll get a reaction. "

The adjective for metal is metallic.

But not so for iron.. which is ironic.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

What do Incel and Excel have in common?

Misinterpreting something as a date.

LvM

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Why did the rugby player go to see the vet?

Because his calves were sore.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Atheism is a non profit organisation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really a dad joke as such, but a joke at my expense.

I laughed at my daughter for having a 'builders bum',and she immediately replied with "And you have a C**** face".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK so why don't ants get Ill?

Because of their anty bodies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK so why don't ants get Ill?

Because of their anty bodies "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

It's a little known fact that cow farts come

from the dairy air.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK so why don't ants get Ill?

Because of their anty bodies "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

It's a little known fact that cow farts come

from the dairy air."

Oh my God

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dogs name is Minton. Today he ate my shuttlecock. Bad Minton!

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By *WDomMan
over a year ago

Taunton

Train announcement:

Would the train standing on platform 5, please get back on the rails

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Why don't grasshoppers watch rugby?

They prefer cricket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A recent scientific study found that baby's are not born with photographic memories

They take time to develop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dogs name is Minton. Today he ate my shuttlecock. Bad Minton! "

How can something be bad and oh so good at the same time?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Train announcement:

Would the train standing on platform 5, please get back on the rails"

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Haha watching

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By *rMrs322Couple
over a year ago

Sandy

Did you hear about the superhero with a lisp that spends all day in the gym? He's thor

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

Sad news, my obese parrot died today..

Mind you, it’s a huge weight off my shoulders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you hear about the superhero with a lisp that spends all day in the gym? He's thor"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dad - "Here's my Batman impression....NO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE"!!

Son - "That's Superman"!

Dad - "Thanks son, been working on it for months".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The model village near us burnt down last night.

They reckon you could see the flames from 10ft away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sad news, my obese parrot died today..

Mind you, it’s a huge weight off my shoulders. "

Hahahaha!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know what's odd? Every other number.

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

My favourite childhood memory was building sandcastle with my grandad..

Until my mum took the urn away from me..

A bit dark for a Saturday morning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do Incel and Excel have in common?

Misinterpreting something as a date.

LvM"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you hear about the superhero with a lisp that spends all day in the gym? He's thor

Omg that made me laugh a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My favourite childhood memory was building sandcastle with my grandad..

Until my mum took the urn away from me..

A bit dark for a Saturday morning? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I finally got around to learning how to make a salad. Something that needed addressing.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday.... the rest are weekdays.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Doctor doctor, my arm hurts when I do 'this'.

Well, don't do 'this' then.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but he never showed up.

I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I had a bath in creosote last night, thought i would treat myself

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

What's blue and not very heavy? Light blue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I'm sorry I'm late for class miss, but my dad got burnt this morning'.

'Oh dear, was it a bad burn?'

'Well, they don't fuck about at the crematorium, miss'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/02/22 22:47:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Can I lick the bowl, mummy?'

'No John, you'll pull the chain like everyone else'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The model village near us burnt down last night.

They reckon you could see the flames from 10ft away."

This made me laugh

They all made me giggle though

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

What is black and white but red all over?

A news paper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man said to his wife, tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.

Wife replies, you have the biggest penis out of all your friends.

Winston

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By *hhhh888Woman
over a year ago

somewhere secret

What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on ahead, i'll hang around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have I ever told you my opinion of windmills? Big Fan.

Winston

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

The ice cream man was found dead in his van, covered in raspberry sauce and sprinkles.

Police said he'd topped himself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man in a bush with no arms or legs?

RUSSELL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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By *inkyRebelMan
over a year ago

Swindon

I was in a lift the other day,

When a woman with huge boobs got in after me.

I could see her nipples through her top.

She said can you press 1.

Next thing I know I was waking up on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with no shin bones

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A farmer asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. That's 20 cows'.

Winston

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By *inkyRebelMan
over a year ago

Swindon

Why are Ants never sick....

Because of all their Anty bodys

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

What do you get if you cross a kangeroo and a sheep?

A wolly jumper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does Santa not have to pay parking for the sleigh?

Because it’s on the house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A thesaurus is great, there's no other word for it.

Winston

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I invented a car that moves only when

the driver is silent..

It goes without saying.

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By *dysseusukMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Why did the sheep cross the road? To go to the baaabers!!

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By *inkyRebelMan
over a year ago

Swindon

What Bee can you get milk from...

A Booby

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I told my doctor I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears

He said ‘It’s just a bug going round’

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

i spent a few moments wondering why the cricket ball kept getting bigger

then it hit me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between flaffal and chickpea ?

I would not pay £200 gor a flaffel to pee over me

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Why don’t you you see Buddhists at the corner shop? Because there is a Self Checkout.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

What do you call a woman with two toilets on her head?

Lulu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy.

Winston

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

My wife uncovered my stash of booze and porn in the garden shed. I suspect a grass..

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Pizza jokes

The Dalai Lama goes to a pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything"

My Hawaiian pizza overcooked and burned. Next time I'll put the oven on aloha setting.

Pizza Land Christmas special is called The Good King Wenslezlaz. It's deep pan, crisp and even

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

"Pizza jokes

The Dalai Lama goes to a pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything"

My Hawaiian pizza overcooked and burned. Next time I'll put the oven on aloha setting.

Pizza Land Christmas special is called The Good King Wenslezlaz. It's deep pan, crisp and even"

The Vikings were defeated by a king who loved putting extra cheese on his pizza. Alfred the Grator..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife has ran off with my best friend. Whoever he is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 13/02/22 11:02:02]

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

B&Q had a fire recently. The staff managed to save all the paint pots, brushes and wallpaper.

For their bravery, the management said they will be decorated.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Laughed way too hard at some of those jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"B&Q had a fire recently. The staff managed to save all the paint pots, brushes and wallpaper.

For their bravery, the management said they will be decorated."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While on holiday the farmer next door came out and said 'I'd like you to meet my wife and sister.' And there was just the one woman standing there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hippy can I borrow your calculator my + button doesn’t work.

I have tried to figure why it’s happened, but it just doesn’t add up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife just asked: 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I asked: 'Why?' and she said: 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad only hit me the once as a child, but he used a Volvo.

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

The local RSPCA, have moved to new premises.

The said " the old place, wasn't big enough, to swing a cat round ".

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

My mate decided to end it all by drinking a gallon of varnish.

He had a terrible end, but a lovely finish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once drank a bottle of tipex, ended up with a massive correction.

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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago

Swindon

Why do calanders fear the future?

Because their days are numbered!

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By *for2Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.It was Riveting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Barry Gibb has just announced he is moving to Cornwall. He wants to see Morris dancing once again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is Glasgow like Las Vegas? In both cities, you can buy sex with chips.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

By the beach

During a job interview I was asked how well I perform under pressure.

"not great" I said, "but you should hear my Bohemian Rhapsody"

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

By the beach

I saw my wife for the first time when she was working at the zoo.

The moment I laid eyes on here I thought "she's a keeper"

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

By the beach

Have you heard about the method of tying your shoelaces using only the power of your mind?

Thought not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the Rolling Stones came from Aberdeen would they sing 'Hey MacLeod, get off of my ewe?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whet to an animal park last week, but the only animal there was a small dog.....it was a shit zoo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes

on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bought an LP the other day called 'Noises a wasp makes'. Listening to it I thought this sounds nothing like wasp noises, then I realised I was playing the bee side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis.....

Justin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the plumber say to his wife outside the divorce court.

"It's over Flo".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head....

Cliff

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...

I'll let you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's green and brown and highly dangerous?

A pool table with a machine gun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with 50 rabbits up his arse?

Warren.

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"What do you call a man with 50 rabbits up his arse?

Warren."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw a girl home a few nights ago. After a kiss a cuddle and a grope on the couch, she asked if I fancied a wank to which I replied in the affirmative.

She said 'No problem, I'll be in the kitchen when you've finished'.

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By *edbristolMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Who can drink 2 litres of petrol?

Jerry can.

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

That's undderly ridiculous

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

What has five toes and isn't your foot?

My foot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What has five toes and isn't your foot?

My foot.

Holy fuck Emily!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat fingered emoji mistake. Was meant to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was reading some of these out to my 15 year old last night. I was howling, and she was like

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Just when you thought food can't call you on the phone, boom!...Onion rings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?

Tai Won Shu

What do you call an Indian opera singer with me leg?

Balan Singh

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

A pun walks into a room and kills 10 people.

Pun in, ten dead.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I messed up adding a calender app to my phone. Accidentally installed a colander app instead.

All it does is drain the battery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you heard about the method of tying your shoelaces using only the power of your mind?

Thought not"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I went to a bookstore and saw a book titled "How to solve 50% of your problems".

I bought 2.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Accordion to recent survey 7 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace a word with a musical instrument.

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

I'm trying to come up with a carpentry joke that woodwork.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Fat fingered emoji mistake. Was meant to be

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

As I get older, I remember all the people I've lost along the way...

...maybe I'm just not cut out to be a tour guide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

"What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife "

Has anyone done "whats brown and sticky?" yet?

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

.... a stick

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

[Removed by poster at 14/02/22 21:27:37]

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

A bacon roll walked into a bar. The barman said "sorry we don't serve food here".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Accordion to recent survey 7 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace a word with a musical instrument."

That's good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife just phoned me to say that 3 girls in her office have received flowers and they are absolutely gorgeous.

I said, "Thats probably why."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As I get older, I remember all the people I've lost along the way...

...maybe I'm just not cut out to be a tour guide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a climaxing vampire?

Ejacula

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

What I really hate is when people say age is only a number.

Age is clearly a word.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"I’ve tried to wait, but I can’t (

all you like)

Hit me with your best (worst) jokes

I had a date last night.

It was perfect.

Tomorrow I'Il try a grape."

Q,,, Why are the vast majority of Archaeologists Women?

A,,,It's Due to their natural ability to dig up the past,,

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Girl: "Girls are better than boys."

Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"

Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

West ham are 4th in the league still ,

Dont aske meow

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

Lady goes to the doctor and says her bums sore

Doctor asks whereabouts

The lady say just by the entrance

The doctor replys ,aslong as its called an entrance it always will be

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Just spent £300 hiring a limo only to discover it doesn't come with a driver.

Can't believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach?

Its not hard...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre.

So he gave her one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened when the dwarf walked into a seven foot tall lady?

He could an awful crack in the head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the ocean say to the beach ?

Nothing it just waved

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three men of different nationalities, one going, one leaving and one in a brothel.

The one going is Russian, the one leaving is Finnish, and the one in the brothel? Himalayan!

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Wtf? I just found out Einstein is a real person?!!!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Wtf? I just found out Einstein is a real person?!!!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist."

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsmam walk into a bar. Landlord says "Is this some kind of joke?"

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Wtf? I just found out Einstein is a real person?!!!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsmam walk into a bar. Landlord says "Is this some kind of joke?""

Horse walks into a bar, landlord says "Why the long face?"

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Wtf? I just found out Einstein is a real person?!!!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsmam walk into a bar. Landlord says "Is this some kind of joke?"

Jeez, this audience, it's like playing the Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night when both Celtic and Rangers have lost (thanks to Ken Dodd)

Horse walks into a bar, landlord says "Why the long face?""

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

I've got a joke on chemistry...but I don't think it'll get a reaction.

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"Wtf? I just found out Einstein is a real person?!!!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsmam walk into a bar. Landlord says "Is this some kind of joke?"

Final one, then I will fuck off. . . .

Polar bear walks into a pub. "I'll have a pint of. . . . . . .bitter" the barman says"why the big pause?"

Jeez, this audience, it's like playing the Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night when both Celtic and Rangers have lost (thanks to Ken Dodd)

Horse walks into a bar, landlord says "Why the long face?""

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I've got a joke on chemistry...but I don't think it'll get a reaction."

*Dons tin hat*

Looks like you've got plenty of lead in your pencil

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

"I've got a joke on chemistry...but I don't think it'll get a reaction.

*Dons tin hat*

Looks like you've got plenty of lead in your pencil

I'm trying to think of an amusing chemistry based response...but all the good ones argon

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I've got a joke on chemistry...but I don't think it'll get a reaction.

*Dons tin hat*

Looks like you've got plenty of lead in your pencil

I'm trying to think of an amusing chemistry based response...but all the good ones argon"

Right! I'm calling a copper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old chemists never die.

They just fail to react.

My mate had sex with a giraffe. That was a bit of a stretch

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

I have no control, I can't see an escape and there's no end in sight. I can't believe I actually lost my home yesterday.

Anyway...it looks like I need to buy a new keyboard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you seen a photo of Mount Rushmore before it was carved?

It's beauty was unpresidented.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and your pregnant wife? You can unscrew a lightbulb

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

The man replies, "Boobs!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not to brag about my finances or anything but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Not to brag about my finances or anything but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding "

That did make me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dog ran off last night. I walked round the park calling his name for 20 mins and still couldn't find him. My wife said I should look harder, so I shaved my head and got a tattoo. I still can't find the dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents didn't understand me. Then again, they were Japanese.

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By *hatChattyGuyMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Went to the doctors today. He told me I was going deaf.

That news was hard for me to hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the man who stole from a dessert shop? He was put into custardy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you hear about the man who stole from a dessert shop? He was put into custardy"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm pinching this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The dog ran off last night. I walked round the park calling his name for 20 mins and still couldn't find him. My wife said I should look harder, so I shaved my head and got a tattoo. I still can't find the dog."

This is brilliant

What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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By *evebal12Man
over a year ago

London

This is brilliant

Like your photos...very good!

What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

During a job interview:

“Can you perform under pressure”?

“No but I’ll give Bohemian Rhapsody a go”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you hear about the man who stole from a dessert shop? He was put into custardy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm pinching this "

You're more than welcome to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God must love stupid people, why else would she make so many?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Politicians and nappies have one thing in common, they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

In 2018 I missed out on a space to do the London marathon.

The same for 2019, 2020, and 2021.

This is now a running joke.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

I had a job interview at a blacksmiths yesterday.

The blacksmith asked "Are you any good at shoeing horses?"

I replied "Ummm, no. But I once told a donkey to fuck off...and it did."

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Pair of spark plugs walk into a pub.. bar man says I'm not serving you you'll start something.. guess this is what a dad joke is

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