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Funny things kids have said

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have notes on my phones of things the kids have said that I find funny. Just been scrolling through them and came across this one. The context you need is that this child was breastfed and only 3 years old.

Daughter: Eyes are for seeing, nose is for smelling.

Me: And what are boobies for?

Daughter: Touching!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our small has started to copy things we say, so I try to keep stuff innocuous in the main.

But imagine a 4yo girly saying “hello Mr Boobies” over and over again, after she overhears me call Mrs S by that silly name once.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Our small has started to copy things we say, so I try to keep stuff innocuous in the main.

But imagine a 4yo girly saying “hello Mr Boobies” over and over again, after she overhears me call Mrs S by that silly name once. "

Kids call us by our actual names sometimes (I don't mind it) but they use it in the right context. Say if we can't hear them or they're wanting to get our attention fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my daughter said to her Dad today "I like mum better"

no reason for it just blurted it out then carried on walking home from school she's 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My grandson came home from school today his water bottle ..made of tin was leaking .. can you sow it for me nan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my son was younger he couldn’t pronounce swat truck. Instead he called it a fat fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My grandson came home from school today his water bottle ..made of tin was leaking .. can you sow it for me nan "

That's so cute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum had a (tiny) share in a racehorse so we wanted to watch it run on the telly. My nephew, then only 5 years old, wanted me to reset a computer game he was playing on the iPad but right just as the race started. So I was "In a minute, when the race is done. Look! Its granny's horse!"

"So???" he scowled "Well, just pause it!"

PS - the horse came 5th

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my youngest (4 at the time) were having a conversation about what job she wanted to do and she told me she wanted to be an astromaut (no typo) and I said what do they do…..they go to space in a cardboard box (she had read a book at nursery) and clean all the stars in the gallery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our toddler at the minute, calls her hot water bottle,

Hot daughter bottle, I’m sure she thinks it’s called that because she’s our daughter haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our oldest said he'd didn't want anymore of his chicken nuggets, our youngest turned around to him and ask.. "you not in the chicken mood?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our oldest said he'd didn't want anymore of his chicken nuggets, our youngest turned around to him and ask.. "you not in the chicken mood?" "

Hilarious

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

When my kids were 8 and 6, we visited my parents and they asked my dad to read Peter Pan to them.

My eldest interrupted him and asked, "grandad, what was Captain Hook called before his hand was bitten off by the crocodile?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a funny comment as such but one of those moments when your kid has you totally mortified.

Lazy family Sunday lunch in a busy pub, elderly couple sat to one side of us, young couple on the other side.

Small human no 2, aged approx 5yrs at the time shouts loudly "Mummy....what's a paedophile?"

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

London

My young nephew was in ear shot of a conversation I was having with my brother during which my brother said to me “ your fucking nuts”

My nephew then walks in and said uncle your sucking nuts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Supermarket at Christmas many moons ago. Distracted daughter by asking her to go and choose one of the big red plants (poinsettia )for Granny as a present. She duly went and chose one and on her return , delightedly announced that not only was it a lovely plant but it also came with a big pot of free soil !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a fantastic thread. Hilarious.

Not so much a funny thing said by my son when he was 3 but it's something that makes me smile, without fail, through the years.

We watched The Snowman that Christmas. He started singing 'Walking in the Air' occasionally thereafter. I'd play Aled Jones's version to him in the car.

A couple of months later, he said he'll sing "like that" when he's "old".

Fast forward 8 years later, he sang 'Walking in the Air' with Aled Jones in a Christmas show.

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

My eldest used giantnormous to describe something, so that is now a word in out house

My youngest, when potty training, would say 'I didn't have no accididn't"

Love Reading all of these

MJ x

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By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

When my son was little about 7 he used to run home shouting peanuts peanuts peanuts ,,, I did get some funny looks and have to say to passers by he was shouting peanuts and not something else!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Daughter blew kisses so I blew them back. She said.. "No mummy, that wasn't for you. I was kissing [dogs name]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking about being mortified my granddaughter 5 going on 40 embarrassed me in McDonald's a few weeks back. She was having a happy meal while I had a coffee,table next to us was a group of teenagers and one a girls had really gone overboard with her fake tan and make up.Sitting quietly then Mary- Jo piped up, "nanny does that lady work in Mr Willy Wonkas factory" . That kid will be the death of me

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

My youngest came home from school once and said “ I can’t believe they put Moses in a basket in the river with no arms bands on”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My youngest came home from school once and said “ I can’t believe they put Moses in a basket in the river with no arms bands on”

"

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

My son who's now 47 was allways coming out with funny stuff! When I was expecting my 3rd he used to sit on stairs for me to tie his laces this time I said sit up a couple of steps as cant bend with my belly! He said when the baby gets bigger I will b at top of stairs to get my shoes done up! And when that baby was bigger and was expecting 4th we were swimming and he said will the baby be able to breath under the water in your tummy x

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

The 3 year old loves telling us about who's a boy or girl. So at the dining table he said "I have a penis, I'm a boy. Sister's name is a girl, she doesn't have a penis. Mummy's a girl, she doesn't have a penis. Brothers names a boy because he has a penis. And daddy's a boy because he has a big HUGE penis"

Maybe I should make that our tagline. Owner of a big HUGE penis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we were younger my brother used to tell everyone my Dad had an egg on his bum. What actually happened was he walked in on my Dad naked and seen his balls from behind

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I remember hearing Ulrika Johnson saying she had nothing on in her house one and her young son came and grabbed her boobs and gave them a good jiggle.

"What are you doing?!" shouted Ulrika.

"I'm making them happy," he replied.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remember hearing Ulrika Johnson saying she had nothing on in her house one and her young son came and grabbed her boobs and gave them a good jiggle.

"What are you doing?!" shouted Ulrika.

"I'm making them happy," he replied. "

. Our kids are almost 4yo and 5yo. They both often jiggle my boobs 5yo still insists on trying to get milk out of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recall walking past a pub when my youngest was about 4. He had never been in a pub and I wasn't really into pubs back then.

We are about ten mins from home and he goes "can we get a drink mummy"

"No, we will be home soon"

"But I might diiiiieee"

This is a true account and I honestly thought the woman walking behind us might piss her knickers!

Danish x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Great, yet another uninclusive thread

All you people showing off that you had sex at least once… no consideration given to us under bridge dwellers!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great, yet another uninclusive thread

All you people showing off that you had sex at least once… no consideration given to us under bridge dwellers!"

Actually, to have children you don't need to have sex. Adoption, ivf, surrogacy

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Great, yet another uninclusive thread

All you people showing off that you had sex at least once… no consideration given to us under bridge dwellers!

Actually, to have children you don't need to have sex. Adoption, ivf, surrogacy "

Great… rub it in some more #failingatlife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great, yet another uninclusive thread

All you people showing off that you had sex at least once… no consideration given to us under bridge dwellers!"

I've had it three times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mind a couple of years ago while eating dinner my middle one asked the question of “mum..is teabagging dirty? cause my friend said it is” needles to say he was told “go ask your dad”

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"I mind a couple of years ago while eating dinner my middle one asked the question of “mum..is teabagging dirty? cause my friend said it is” needles to say he was told “go ask your dad” "

Dads everywhere thank you and people who think like you.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

This is a great example of a kid saying something funny. You may have seen it, but I recommend it if you haven't. It's a six-year-old Irish girl pleading with her mum to be allowed to go to the pub.

https://youtu.be/soI0q3CBliE

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