FabSwingers.com forum: What would you do....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you'd been chatting to someone from fab, moved it to another messaging platform and they blocked you after a good few weeks/months of chatting because they were upset with you about something.

I'm not asking for me. But I need you to post what you'd do.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Get on with my chores.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't do anything. Our friendship would be over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't bother me

I might be curious as to why, but fuck 'em

If they block without trying to engage a friend and explain their hurt, they're really just nothing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back? "

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Walk away and close the door. I cannot control other people's actions only my own x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nothing. I would do nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just accept he’s a weirdo who likes to play with peoples minds and make up some reason that doesn’t exist to ghost you.

Happens all the time on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back? "

It depends. There could be something else going on in their life and maybe they blocked everyone for a while because they wanted to be alone.

Or they could be manipulative, blocking you as a 'punishment' even though you did nothing wrong.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back? "

No as I'd already have distrust of their actions it can only go one way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely nothing

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I'd think that I'd swerved another weirdo tbh x

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Nothing. I would do nothing"

Me too although I might give a little shrug first.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Well first it would partially depend on what I did. Did I actually deserve it? Were they shitty for some reason?

But really, they blocked you so what else can you do?

It would depend how close we were, so I'd be pretty down for a little while I guess but I'd get over it.

Again, details are greatly limited to give a specific answer. Essentially my answer would likely differ based upon multiple factors.

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum

I wouldn't do anything.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me

I might be curious as to why, but fuck 'em

If they block without trying to engage a friend and explain their hurt, they're really just nothing "

Agreed. I had a friend who would block me, unblock, block for the most absurd reasons (one involved me correctly identifying missing punctuation before them). At the time it hurt a lot. Later it turned out they didn't even remember the many times they had.

I've not been blocked in some time now but if I was without explanation, I'd adopt the fuck 'em mentality. It's just venturing into mind games and as much as I try and be there for others, I'd selfishly put my mental wellbeing first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One strike for me, and that’s it.

If they communicated with me that they needed space/told me why, it might be different, but to just block, no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on. Make a brew, possibly have a cookie!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you'd been chatting to someone from fab, moved it to another messaging platform and they blocked you after a good few weeks/months of chatting because they were upset with you about something.

I'm not asking for me. But I need you to post what you'd do.

PW "

How do you know they blocked you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back? "

Absolutely not life is too short for those games

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

If there was no reason I would move on, but you say it was because you had upset them, then I guess it depends on what you said but as they have blocked you then not much you can do anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me

I might be curious as to why, but fuck 'em

If they block without trying to engage a friend and explain their hurt, they're really just nothing

Is it selfish to put your mental wellbeing first???

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back?

It depends. There could be something else going on in their life and maybe they blocked everyone for a while because they wanted to be alone.

Or they could be manipulative, blocking you as a 'punishment' even though you did nothing wrong. "

Yeah. This.

There could be a MH reason behind it. I’ve been known to shut myself away and deactivate social media accounts when feeling low. It doesn’t mean i don’t want the contact when I’m feeling better.

That said actively blocking someone doesn’t seem like that kind of general act. Without any kind of reason or explanation I’d be inclined to politely disengage and move on.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Wouldn't bother me

I might be curious as to why, but fuck 'em

If they block without trying to engage a friend and explain their hurt, they're really just nothing

Is it selfish to put your mental wellbeing first??? "

Yes, but not all selfish things are bad.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"If you'd been chatting to someone from fab, moved it to another messaging platform and they blocked you after a good few weeks/months of chatting because they were upset with you about something.

I'm not asking for me. But I need you to post what you'd do.

PW "

What options are you considering

A/ get on with your life

B/ be a weirdo / stalker and try to make contact some other way when they clearly sent a very clear message they don’t want to hear from you

C/ whine on fab that someone blocked you

I’d go option A

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

Seems a bit tough - if you liked them enough to give benefit of doubt but have an honest chat about what has happened if would feel more normal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you'd been chatting to someone from fab, moved it to another messaging platform and they blocked you after a good few weeks/months of chatting because they were upset with you about something.

I'm not asking for me. But I need you to post what you'd do.

How do you know they blocked you?"

It's usually quite obvious in most platforms.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No just pit it down to experience and move on x

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

Depends on how close I was to them. Casual friend - move on and be polite if they unblock,but invest no more effort in them

Good friend - allow them some space and then try and talk through what happened and their reasoning behind their behaviour, and then make a decision based on that as to whether the friendship is worth saving.

MJ x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you'd been chatting to someone from fab, moved it to another messaging platform and they blocked you after a good few weeks/months of chatting because they were upset with you about something.

I'm not asking for me. But I need you to post what you'd do.

What options are you considering

A/ get on with your life

B/ be a weirdo / stalker and try to make contact some other way when they clearly sent a very clear message they don’t want to hear from you

C/ whine on fab that someone blocked you

I’d go option A

Haha.... I'm not whining at all.

This is promoted by a discussion I had recently with someone who gets repeatedly blocked by someone.

I would cut them off but this person would give them the benefit of the doubt.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

[Removed by poster at 10/02/22 19:33:53]

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Nothing, if I’ve invested time into someone to get to the point of chatting on another platform I’d expect that they could converse with me about what pissed them off. I’d find the block and ignore method childish and a display of being unable to express feelings, that’s just not my kind of person.

Dust myself off and get on with things xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you'd been chatting to someone from fab, moved it to another messaging platform and they blocked you after a good few weeks/months of chatting because they were upset with you about something.

I'm not asking for me. But I need you to post what you'd do.

PW "
Get on with my life and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/02/22 19:35:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put them back in their pram and walk away. If anyone upsets you, you should be adult enough to address it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's flaky behaviour and I have little to no tolerance for that

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Things end. Understanding is a privilege, acceptance is a necessity. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back?

It depends. There could be something else going on in their life and maybe they blocked everyone for a while because they wanted to be alone.

Or they could be manipulative, blocking you as a 'punishment' even though you did nothing wrong.

Yeah. This.

That said actively blocking someone doesn’t seem like that kind of general act. Without any kind of reason or explanation I’d be inclined to politely disengage and move on. "

It's interesting to see how many people would just fuck them off and not understand there could be a reason for the person deactivating.

Makes me realise that people really aren't worth shit. They mostly are just in it for themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me

I might be curious as to why, but fuck 'em

If they block without trying to engage a friend and explain their hurt, they're really just nothing

Is it selfish to put your mental wellbeing first???

Yes, but not all selfish things are bad. "

I’d have to disagree. I don’t think prioritising your own mental health is selfish, I think it’s essential.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back?

Absolutely not life is too short for those games "

This. Grown ups communicate about this kind of thing and work it out. They don't ghost or punish you with silence.

Delete and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if they unblocked you and started chatting again.... Would you chat back? "

No as there is a very good chance that it will keep on happening every time you have a difference of opinion

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If we’ve taken it off FAB then we know there’s interest from both sides.

If they then stopped talking or blocked us then it wouldn’t bother us. Everyone has other things going on. Most people on FAB have other people they chat to.

We’d be wary if they came back and tried to pick up where they left it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I exchange messages on another app and they die out I delete anyway. Can't invest too much time unless I've met em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we’ve taken it off FAB then we know there’s interest from both sides.

If they then stopped talking or blocked us then it wouldn’t bother us. Everyone has other things going on. Most people on FAB have other people they chat to.

We’d be wary if they came back and tried to pick up where they left it.

Exactly this!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

" I'd selfishly put my mental wellbeing first.

Is it selfish to put your mental wellbeing first???

Yes, but not all selfish things are bad.

I’d have to disagree. I don’t think prioritising your own mental health is selfish, I think it’s essential.

You can’t pour from an empty cup."

That sounds nice, can certainly be true quite often.

But I'm going to stand with me selfishly putting my mental wellbeing first. That's how I see it. I'm not saying others are selfish for doing so but like Outsider's example above where she cites mental health as being one cause - it can indeed be. And if I was less selfish (again, not saying others are), I might try and weather it. I don't want to be in it just for myself. But I'm afraid I've been down that route before and it's incredibly damaging to my mental wellbeing. Ideally I'd be there for another but I'd rather selfishly be here for me. I don't think all selfish things are bad and that line of thinking has saved me from overthinking a fuck ton more than I already do.

Anyway OP, I don't think there's a clear cut solution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I'd selfishly put my mental wellbeing first.

Is it selfish to put your mental wellbeing first???

Yes, but not all selfish things are bad.

I’d have to disagree. I don’t think prioritising your own mental health is selfish, I think it’s essential.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

That sounds nice, can certainly be true quite often.

Anyway OP, I don't think there's a clear cut solution. "

That’s what I said, so you’re agreeing with me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd need the whole story to tell you what I truly think. But if you were being reasonable and they weren't then I'd say just forget about them and move on. I certainly wouldn't give them another chance if I felt like they didn't deserve it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I'd selfishly put my mental wellbeing first.

Is it selfish to put your mental wellbeing first???

Yes, but not all selfish things are bad.

I’d have to disagree. I don’t think prioritising your own mental health is selfish, I think it’s essential.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

That sounds nice, can certainly be true quite often.

Anyway OP, I don't think there's a clear cut solution. "

I've been reading this thread with interest. I agree with what you've said here. I think that more often than not charity begins at home. This may seem harsh, but whilst I accept and understand that MH may be the cause of serial blocking and unblocking, it can take an awful toll on the recipient of the blocking and unblocking. Moreover, and putting some perspective on this that some may not like, occasionally we make good friends on here, but often people we encounter on here are acquaintances, nothing more, and those people have not necessarily earned the latitude to behave in such a manner irrespective of their condition (if any). I'd argue only very good friends (where the relationship funs deep) might earn the right to behave like this and then only when there is very good reason. However, blocking and unblocking is very targeted. As someone else pointed out, the sensible option would be to take a break from social media.

It simply isn't fair for one person (who doesn't really know another person that well) to bring their issues to that other person's door. MH is complex, some conditions might deserve empathy, but others such as narcissism do not.

Speech over.

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