FabSwingers.com forum: Therapy

By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Who's had it, who wants it, what type did you have, was it helpful, who thinks it's a pile of baloney? And why. All the why.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The evidence exists for its effectiveness. Psychotherapy isn't just 1 therapy approach though. Ive benefitted, including from grief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of marriage I tried it with and without the wife. It helped me a bit. More so than anything it was nice to talk to someone in a safe space and work through emotions.

If you haven't tried it I would say if you think it might be useful then give a session or 2 a go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s many different types of therapy and I suppose it depends on what you want to get out of the therapy. I’ve had 1-2-1 sessions with a therapist in the past and found it very helpful.

It can unlock your mind and get you to look at life from a whole different perspective. If anyone was even contemplating it, I would say absolutely go for it. There’s no harm in giving it a go

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I had a lot of help with my OCD. It was all CBT based, specifically ERT and cognitive restructuring.

I paid for it privately because my OCD was interfering with my daily life and the waiting list for NHS help in my area was ridiculously long. It was 100% worth every penny.

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By *osco78Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Had grief therapy after I lost my dad , was definatly usefull

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've had extensive therapy for persistent MH issues and childhood stuff I'm not getting into. To unfuck brain and live more happily and productively. Not in therapy at the moment.

With the right techniques and a good dynamic, it can make an enormous difference to help you cope and learn how to manage more effectively. But as Sophie says, therapy is a broad church.

It's not easy, though. I'd say it's very much like physiotherapy but for your brain. You find out your weaknesses and are guided in how to strengthen them. And it'll be hard work and probably hurt. But absolutely worth it.

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By *oson-BlueCouple
over a year ago

North Kent

I had a very intense therapy for about 4 years, it was a combination of all therapies put together. It made me look at myself and my life and it was worth every minute. I say go for it and be open and honest with yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I’ve had it, and it was helpful.

I think most people would benefit, but it’s finding the right style of therapy, and the right therapist too.

You can do a lot of the work yourself, and some you absolutely can’t.

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By *umbiyaMan
over a year ago

Halifax

I’m having weekly sessions online because I’m not ‘neurotypical’ and the whole aspect of socialising brings much discomfort and anxiety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can help, however personally I tend to just not talk on stuff. If i don’t talk on it and act like it’s not there, it tricks me into thinking I’m fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had it after losing somebody close to me, it was extremely helpful and I’ve actually been thinking about reaching out again recently after feeling like I’m struggling a little with some personal issues.

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

I had it to help with ptsd after sexual assault as it was crippling me and my life.

At first I wasn’t sure as my ex loved councilling and mh care big time but by end it helped me and also helped see that when she left last June that I could manage and cope and now am not afraid of the Events of the assault

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We had couples counselling a long time ago. Really helped us to communicate with each other more effectively and lead to Mr KC finding out about his ASD, which further helped us. Would definitely recommend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried CBT (not that one you kinky bunch) on and off but it hasn't worked for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need it. But I know the rigmarole of finding the right one for me will be an exhausting process that I don't have the energy or capacity to face right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want it but every time I try everyone has a 3+ month waiting list, to the poinr that I kinda give up

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Haven't had it, but actively considering it for a couple of things I'd like to process.

Sure some therapies/therapists will be better than others but efinitely not baloney, imho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be interested if the people like me who feel like they could do with that type of help currently have friends/family they feel like they could speak to but don’t ? I’d certainly help through conversations if anybody genuinely needs a ear and maybe some outsider advice, I know I could do with talking to somebody x

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I had CBT 4 years ago and didn't get anything from it. A few months later I had a life affirming trip to an amazing part of the world and those 10 days did more than the 10 weeks of therapy.

I had internalised and dissected everything for 10 years prior to that but that experience taught me to do rather than talk about doing and to live for the moment rather than hoping that yesterday will improve. I haven't looked back since.

That's what worked for me but obviously everyone will have different experiences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d be interested if the people like me who feel like they could do with that type of help currently have friends/family they feel like they could speak to but don’t ? I’d certainly help through conversations if anybody genuinely needs a ear and maybe some outsider advice, I know I could do with talking to somebody x"

You could do a thread and ask for advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as my experience goes: I routinely talk to my partners and friends, and they try to help me as much as they can, but they themselves admit that there are certain things beyond their ability. I think it's there where the help of someone with professional experience comes in.

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

100% it works

Have had many types including group sessions and 1:1 based on CBT and also EMDR to help with my PTSD.

Having someone help you process whatever you are dealing with, that is not directly involved in your life, and that is only interested in you and your take on things is invaluable in my opinion

MJ x

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Had physiotherapy on a back injury.

The regime was brutal but after 2 years, all back to normal.

Paid for some private sessions but NHS was brilliant.

But as I was told at the initial consultation, it's a long haul.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I've personally never felt the need for it. I'm naturally a positive and pragmatic person, have so far never been in a situation that I can't see a way out of, and have an innate ability to see practical solutions and act upon them.

That's not to say that it doesn't work, I'm sure that it does for a lot of people.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Some problems aren't things you can rely on friends and family for, for better or worse. Same as physical health

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I've personally never felt the need for it. I'm naturally a positive and pragmatic person, have so far never been in a situation that I can't see a way out of, and have an innate ability to see practical solutions and act upon them.

That's not to say that it doesn't work, I'm sure that it does for a lot of people. "

I'm naturally a positive and pragmatic person but couples counselling saved our relationship. Being positive and pragmatic doesn't mean that a person might not need external help. In fact, my experience is that being seen to be positive is distinctly unhelpful because other people assume you have never ending emotional capacity to help them, when in fact they should seek professional input.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Never got on with any of the various therapies I have tried. I have tried a fair bit and have been generously funded by my work. I will not try medication again.

Can’t shake the PTSD for love nor money. I have various neuro diversity’s that don’t help.

I am resigned to being angry and having meltdowns till my dying day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had therapy yes, for different reasons. I found helpful the way they tried to turn things and make them see them from a different angle.

I’ve had to deal with quite a bit of sessions with psychologists/psychiatrists about my transition too , of course

Those are specifically related to gender

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Never got on with any of the various therapies I have tried. I have tried a fair bit and have been generously funded by my work. I will not try medication again.

Can’t shake the PTSD for love nor money. I have various neuro diversity’s that don’t help.

I am resigned to being angry and having meltdowns till my dying day. "

It's a tough path, I'm sorry

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

That's not to say that it doesn't work, I'm sure that it does for a lot of people. "

Took the words out of my mouth. Very much this in my case

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've had extensive therapy for persistent MH issues and childhood stuff I'm not getting into. To unfuck brain and live more happily and productively. Not in therapy at the moment.

With the right techniques and a good dynamic, it can make an enormous difference to help you cope and learn how to manage more effectively. But as Sophie says, therapy is a broad church.

Thanks, Swing. Lovely to see you back in here

. Physiotherapy for your brain, I like that.

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I had a lot of help with my OCD. It was all CBT based, specifically ERT and cognitive restructuring.

I paid for it privately because my OCD was interfering with my daily life and the waiting list for NHS help in my area was ridiculously long. It was 100% worth every penny."

Ugh, waiting lists are awful. I'm sorry you had to pay. X

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Yes, I’ve had it, and it was helpful.

I think most people would benefit, but it’s finding the right style of therapy, and the right therapist too.

You can do a lot of the work yourself, and some you absolutely can’t."

How do you find the right style and the right therapist, do you think? There's so much out there. And it's somewhat unregulated

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

That's not to say that it doesn't work, I'm sure that it does for a lot of people. "

Interesting take. You consider therapy to be about solving problems that you can't solve alone, then? Am I reading you right? X

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

That's not to say that it doesn't work, I'm sure that it does for a lot of people.

This chimes with me, Mrs KC x

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Sorry I only just came back to this - thank you for all the contributions, some very personal. A wide variety of viewpoints here x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sorry I only just came back to this - thank you for all the contributions, some very personal. A wide variety of viewpoints here x"

I hope you or whoever you're asking for, find what you/they need

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I managed to get some counselling sessions when I had difficulties after my mother died. On the whole I felt that they were helpful, but that it's not any kind of magic bullet. When problems have a physical or situational basis, no amount of talking can be a solution on its own, but it can help more complete self-diagnosis of the root cause of the problem and hence maybe lead to being able to do something about it.

We all like to think that we should be able to figure out solutions on our own, but when the problem is interfering with correct mental and/or emotional operation, the very facilities that are needed to fix things are the ones that are not working correctly. At those times, just having an outside agency guiding the process can be the key to helping ourselves.

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

I’ve had a few therapies in my time, cbt is my least favourite, far too box ticking for my liking! Person centred is my fave and the only time when I’ve actually felt listened too

Miss pc

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Sorry I only just came back to this - thank you for all the contributions, some very personal. A wide variety of viewpoints here x

I hope you or whoever you're asking for, find what you/they need"

I'm not actually asking for anyone in particular. I was just interested in people's views and experiences. X

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've had extensive therapy for persistent MH issues and childhood stuff I'm not getting into. To unfuck brain and live more happily and productively. Not in therapy at the moment.

With the right techniques and a good dynamic, it can make an enormous difference to help you cope and learn how to manage more effectively. But as Sophie says, therapy is a broad church.

Thanks, Swing. Lovely to see you back in here

. Physiotherapy for your brain, I like that. "

Similar pain, similar work on your own. Can be similar results.

And as noted above the lack of regulation is a bit... yeesh

When I went private, I looked for evidence they'd worked in the NHS before. Means probably not a quack

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I managed to get some counselling sessions when I had difficulties after my mother died. On the whole I felt that they were helpful, but that it's not any kind of magic bullet. When problems have a physical or situational basis, no amount of talking can be a solution on its own, but it can help more complete self-diagnosis of the root cause of the problem and hence maybe lead to being able to do something about it.

I love this, Polly! Makes logical sense. There's so much emotion tied up with seeking therapy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done talking therapy, so, a counsellor for two difficult life events.

It helped me move through the emotions and confusion easier and quicker. Gaining that experienced and alternative perspective made me look at things differently and helped greatly.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

That's not to say that it doesn't work, I'm sure that it does for a lot of people.

Interesting take. You consider therapy to be about solving problems that you can't solve alone, then? Am I reading you right? X"

I suppose at a very high level that is how I see it. I may be very wrong. I admit that I don't know very much about it because I've never been in a situation that I didn't feel that I could deal with on my own, so I've never felt the need to look into it further. As I said above, I'm sure it does help a lot of people.

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

Yes I had it after the traumatic break up of my 25 year marriage and it was the best thing iv ever done it brought clarity and peace to my mind and allowed me to move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went down the talking therapies route after my dad died. Some of it helped, realising that what I was feeling in my grief was actually part of the process rather than thinking I was crazy. It's limited to certain things within a certain time frame though which I wasn't so keen on. If I feel the need to do it again I'd go private.

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

I just started grief counselling after my sons suicide 18 months ago, tbh for me I'm not sure its going to work but I can appreciate some if not most would find it beneficial.

My closest fab friends were and are the best help I could wish for...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I just started grief counselling after my sons suicide 18 months ago, tbh for me I'm not sure its going to work but I can appreciate some if not most would find it beneficial.

My closest fab friends were and are the best help I could wish for..."

I hope it brings you closure x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had talking therapy which personally I didn't find that helpful. Reliving trauma isn't something I want to keep doing so I've switched to CBT which is great for dealing with the here and now.

Therapy is a great thing but it's not for everyone. Sometimes you need the right therapist and kind of therapy to really make a change. I work in children's mental health and I see the effects on a daily basis, it's a wonderful thing if done in the right way.

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

"I just started grief counselling after my sons suicide 18 months ago, tbh for me I'm not sure its going to work but I can appreciate some if not most would find it beneficial.

My closest fab friends were and are the best help I could wish for...

I hope it brings you closure x"

Thanks Sheila x

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

Rather use walking sessions on my own to sort my head out . Therapy wouldn't work for me I'd find it patronising .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had CBT on the NHS then I paid privately for counsellor after loosing my Dad.

I don't think it helped dramatically but it definitely encouraged me to change the way I think about certain things in life.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"Rather use walking sessions on my own to sort my head out . Therapy wouldn't work for me I'd find it patronising . "

Was offered and accepted bereavement counselling after death of 2 of our parents in the same week.

Really nice chap but after 2 sessions really wasn't for me.

The booklet we were given did help by showing me on a list of emotions that others felt the same way.

My best therapy was getting back to work asap and trying as best as possible getting back to our normal.

I would recommend reaching out and accepting all help offered, then decide if it's for you or not.

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By *ilentnoiseMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Had therapy a couple of times in the past for various reasons. Always found it so helpful to be able to speak to someone who is a stranger, as you don't have to filter yourself and talk about how you really feel without worrying about upsetting or concerning loved ones. I can't say therapy was always easy, but I think good therapy helps you to take a long, hard look in the mirror when you just want to do anything but that. It is so interesting that you can learn things about yourself that you just didn't realise, making connections with the past, understand why you react to present-day situations in the way you do. I really recommend it, but appreciate that it may not be for everyone.

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By *ilentnoiseMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Rather use walking sessions on my own to sort my head out . Therapy wouldn't work for me I'd find it patronising . "

Walking can be a great place to sort your head out. Without wanting to pry, how come? What would be patronising about spending an hour talking about how you feel about things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a bad place after the birth of my daughter. Talking in a safe group therapy setting with other women helped far more than the pills that my doc initially prescribed.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

After losing my husband when I was in my twenties, I tried to put on a brave face and carry on working. I blocked it out. I had grief counselling, but was worried if I admitted how desperately sad I really was, with suicidal thoughts, that I'd fall apart. I hated talking about it and reliving what had happened. Consequently therapy didn't work and 5 years later I had a breakdown. Subsequently I've had CBT and currently IPT (interpersonal therapy) and both had really helped me talk through painful issues. Having a trained independent person who watches my reaction to questions and notices when i hesitate in conversations, means i can explore thoughts and gain a clear insight into why i react in a certain way. They help me see different ways to look at things and by the end of the series of sessions, I always have a better understanding of how to cope if issues crop up again.

It is tough going through some sessions, but for me, the final result is worth going through the tears, as I leave with optimism and hope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Therapy is a broad term though I guess. It could be counselling, hy-pnotherapy, walking in the woods etc. Try different things I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rather use walking sessions on my own to sort my head out . Therapy wouldn't work for me I'd find it patronising .

Walking can be a great place to sort your head out. Without wanting to pry, how come? What would be patronising about spending an hour talking about how you feel about things?"

It depends on the therapist I reckon. I've had this same feeling and I think it was that the therapist kinda used therapy 101. A good therapist will see 'you' and respond personally I think. Makes a lot of difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had CBT for anxiety. It helped a lot. Still get anxious but I now have ways of coping when I feel a panic attack coming

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I had CBT therapy in my 20's after the sudden death of my father. It didn't help me but I didn't like the guy too much and didn't really believe it could help in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had cbt over the last couple of years and being totally honest, other than it making me more aware about things, triggers etc, you can pretty much find everything on the Internet without having to wait on the long, laborious waithing lists of the nhs. Im currently on the waiting list for the next level talking therapy

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

Tbh on a sunny day like today my bike is the best therapy I have... Not to ride a twat of course, but the slow drip of adrenaline with the focus of a long country road feeds my soul and centres emotions like I cannot describe.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Weekends away with my friends are my therapy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had talking therapy which personally I didn't find that helpful. Reliving trauma isn't something I want to keep doing so I've switched to CBT which is great for dealing with the here and now.

Very much agree with this. I’ve had a variety of counselling experiences and some CBT, different elements have worked for me at different times. When it works it can be fantastic. I’ll also admit to having taken antidepressants for two and half years. Combined with talking therapy they brought me out of a very dark place and I am incredibly thankful for that. After coming off the pills, what I learned through therapy has given me the tools and confidence to move forwards in a really positive way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had therapy after my divorce which definitely helped me learn how to deal with things in a stronger and more positive way. I'm currently talking to two ladies for support regarding my recent cancer and the loss of my beautiful mum. Talking definitely helps

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Tbh on a sunny day like today my bike is the best therapy I have... Not to ride a twat of course, but the slow drip of adrenaline with the focus of a long country road feeds my soul and centres emotions like I cannot describe.

You made me think of this classic.

https://youtu.be/zZIbpexA4g8

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

You made me think of this classic.

https://youtu.be/zZIbpexA4g8"

Oh you just took me back 10,000 miles...

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I had group counselling with mums and their babies when I had Post Natal Depression, it was ok. Had one on one CB with a counsellor when I had PND after my 2nd was born. Still on antidepressants now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had it. Probably should have. Too late now, the voices have me....

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You made me think of this classic.

https://youtu.be/zZIbpexA4g8

Oh you just took me back 10,000 miles...

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By *ichardbyronMan
over a year ago

Ludham

I did two and half years at the Portman andTavistock so I met many psychologists and psychiatrists most were fairly useless for me but there were a couple of exceptions who made a difference. But any change/improvement in the end comes from within.

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