FabSwingers.com forum: Foods you eat that do not make you look graceful

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Orange slices

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Think u can make anything u eat look gracefully sexy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lemon. Hotdogs with sauce and crispy onions ontop.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Large burgers

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I have a full beard. Lots of things are a challenge.

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By *hilledGuerillaMan
over a year ago

In the monkey house

Pizza, especially when the cheese stretches from mouth to slice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think all food has the ability to do that if you're staring at somebody in the eyes at the same time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crisps in bed.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Anything.

I don't have a small mouth.... but I think it moves when I try and put food and drink in it. Because I rarely manage first time

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By *J GeminiTV/TS
over a year ago

Northumberland

A kebab

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Pizza,fajitas,ribs, burritos, burgers...anything you need to pick up to eat basically.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Mango. I need to eat mango in the shower, when I've finished I look like the mango exploded in my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a full beard. Lots of things are a challenge. "

So do I. It's a nightmare, isn't it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Corn on the cob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spaghetti. How Lady and the Tramp made it look flirtatious, I'll never know. That's a talent I don't possess.

Peas. Try catching those little beggars!

Hot chocolate fudge cake - can anyone eat this without getting chocolate sauce on their teeth? It's sometimes like glue!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Peanuts.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fresh cream doughnut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face."

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely ribs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face."

Side note. Happy to offer a custard-slice-debris removal service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Peanuts."

"I'm sorry, I thought you said something else!"

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork? "

As much as I love them, I have often pondered if they are a particularly judicious design. I mean the sides are completely unsealed(!!!) - it’s inevitably going to end in a custardy disaster….

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Side note. Happy to offer a custard-slice-debris removal service

Ooo look….it’s dropped down over my groin area….

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Barbecue ribs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ramen with chopsticks

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

Ribs, filled doughnuts, burgers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A kebab

Xx"

Especially if you get garlic mayo with it and end up looking like you came out the wrong side of a bukkake

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

Anything outside a fast food take away after closing time

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Barbecue chicken wings ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork? "

I also have the same issue.

I found if you turn them so the cream is facing up its less likely to go everywhere

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Another one: Try putting the contents of a pot noodle in a sandwich (I’m dead classy me, see) and try eating it without it spilling out all over you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A huge burger, but I don’t care, eating with hands can be sexy

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Prawns that you need to peel the shell/head off, once ordered these in a restaurant and my false nail went flying into a wine glass at the next table! Xx

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By *osco78Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

KFC all that greese everywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BBQ Ribs

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

"Large burgers"

When you take a bite out of the front and most of the contents are ejected out of the back of the burger?!

For me, spaghetti bolognese, it rarely ends well

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By *apxxxWoman
over a year ago

North Shropshire not Wales!!!ffs & Manchester

Crab claws,lobster claws..spaghetti bolognese..ribs..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bananas, not sure why!?!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I remember well the very first time I took a bite out of a French Bread Pizza; The bastard thing curved up and over like a scorpions tail and burnt me on the nose(!!!)

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork? "

If on a plate you break top with fork and proceed with caution. If by hand then turn them sideways and use your teeth to break it carefully. Years of practice as one of my most favourite things

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By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Spaghetti Bolognese, so tasty but not a good look flicking sauce all over yourself

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Testicles

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Spaghetti Bolognese, so tasty but not a good look flicking sauce all over yourself "

Oh yes. But it may have something to do with the bedsheet I wind around my neck though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Creme eggs

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

"Definitely ribs! "

Absolutely! Looks like a massacre afterwards

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork?

I also have the same issue.

I found if you turn them so the cream is facing up its less likely to go everywhere "

My tactic is to take a small bite of the top layer and custard followed immediately by the bottom layer and custard

. Stops all the custard squeezing out between the pastry layers and I don't have to unhinge my jaw to get it all in

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Large burgers

When you take a bite out of the front and most of the contents are ejected out of the back of the burger?!

For me, spaghetti bolognese, it rarely ends well

Yep! And the sauce gets all over your hands

. Certainly not a first date choice!

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Creme eggs"

Not a problem.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Fajitas. Amazing foods, but never to be eaten in company.

Spaghetti bolognese as well - never ends well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork?

I also have the same issue.

I found if you turn them so the cream is facing up its less likely to go everywhere

My tactic is to take a small bite of the top layer and custard followed immediately by the bottom layer and custard

. Stops all the custard squeezing out between the pastry layers and I don't have to unhinge my jaw to get it all in

. "

Haha i can still see the custard going all over my face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large burgers

When you take a bite out of the front and most of the contents are ejected out of the back of the burger?!

For me, spaghetti bolognese, it rarely ends well

Yep! And the sauce gets all over your hands

. Certainly not a first date choice! "

Thats because you are supposed to use a fork and spoon!!

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Grape fruit, sour sweets sends my face to another level of distortedness

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

My pasta in the restaurant Sunday evening.

Tomato sauce spatters over my white top

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Soup

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

My home made chicken salad wraps.

Mayo everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, soup. In theory one ought to look delicate and elegant.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Large burgers

When you take a bite out of the front and most of the contents are ejected out of the back of the burger?!

For me, spaghetti bolognese, it rarely ends well

Yep! And the sauce gets all over your hands

. Certainly not a first date choice!

Thats because you are supposed to use a fork and spoon!!

I meant the burgers!

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

"A kebab

Xx"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Large burgers

When you take a bite out of the front and most of the contents are ejected out of the back of the burger?!

For me, spaghetti bolognese, it rarely ends well

Yep! And the sauce gets all over your hands

. Certainly not a first date choice!

Thats because you are supposed to use a fork and spoon!!

I meant the burgers!

Hahahahha

That makes alot more sense!!!

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By *j84Man
over a year ago

Stevenage

Jam donuts! Sugar and jam everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try Ramen with chopsticks without slurping! There is a reason slurping is considered acceptable and polite in Japan lol xx

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"Orange slices

Chicken wings

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Anything off a paper plate.

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By *irthyone40Man
over a year ago

Devon

Bigmac ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pot noodle , or egg butty , when the yolk explodes and goes on your top ,,,,then even an industrial welding kit can't get it off your clothes

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Bigmac ??"

I've never had one as I've been vegetarian since I was a kid but when I see other people get them, they do look more like someone has thrown the components of a burger into a box than an actual burger.

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Oakhill

I challenge any one to eat a doughnut without sticking their tongue out. Other than that. Dandy floss without it sticking to their nose.

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Oakhill

"I challenge any one to eat a doughnut without sticking their tongue out. Other than that. Dandy floss without it sticking to their nose. "
Candy floss.

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By *urchoicenowCouple
over a year ago

Ashford

Tacos

They just break and end covering anything I have on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steak sandwich. Didn't go well....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turkey dinosaurs

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Big Mac. Can’t eat it without it falling apart

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Choc eclair

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By *icola2202Couple
over a year ago

Chatham

Gotta be chow mein

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Any food

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

I just ate nachos and very glad no one could see me

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I just ate nachos and very glad no one could see me

Orange fingers? That’s like those cheese puff/ball things; They stain one’s finger tips like no one’s business!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spag bol and tacos.

With regard to the custard slice conundrum, I eat the top layer of iced pastry first, lick out all the custard, and then devour the bottom pastry layer.

Does no one else do it like this?

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork?

If on a plate you break top with fork and proceed with caution. If by hand then turn them sideways and use your teeth to break it carefully. Years of practice as one of my most favourite things

I slice them half way horizontally (through the custard). With custard side up, I take dainty bites out of them...

Oh yes, didn't you learn that at your Swiss Finishing School my darlings?

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Spag bol and tacos.

With regard to the custard slice conundrum, I eat the top layer of iced pastry first, lick out all the custard, and then devour the bottom pastry layer.

Does no one else do it like this?"

Licking out you say!!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Spag bol and tacos.

With regard to the custard slice conundrum, I eat the top layer of iced pastry first, lick out all the custard, and then devour the bottom pastry layer.

Does no one else do it like this?"

A strategic dismantling

I may have to give this technique a go…..and I really fancy a slice right now

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork?

If on a plate you break top with fork and proceed with caution. If by hand then turn them sideways and use your teeth to break it carefully. Years of practice as one of my most favourite things

I slice them half way horizontally (through the custard). With custard side up, I take dainty bites out of them...

Oh yes, didn't you learn that at your Swiss Finishing School my darlings?"

I just like the bit of icing at the same time as the rest hense the sideways technique but that's just me, others will have their way.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Custard slices; One mere small bite and the contents are invariably all down my face.

Glad it's not just me. How ARE we meant to eat them? Knife and fork?

If on a plate you break top with fork and proceed with caution. If by hand then turn them sideways and use your teeth to break it carefully. Years of practice as one of my most favourite things

I slice them half way horizontally (through the custard). With custard side up, I take dainty bites out of them...

Oh yes, didn't you learn that at your Swiss Finishing School my darlings?"

That’s an intriguing technique to; effectively one gets two slices for the price of one as a bonus

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

Cake!!! I eat it like a beast

Miss pc

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Bigmac ??"

You've met him as well? Such a heavy cummer... Such a delightful mess...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spag bol and tacos.

With regard to the custard slice conundrum, I eat the top layer of iced pastry first, lick out all the custard, and then devour the bottom pastry layer.

Does no one else do it like this?

Licking out you say!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wicked variety bucket from KFC all to myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jam donut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spag bol and tacos.

With regard to the custard slice conundrum, I eat the top layer of iced pastry first, lick out all the custard, and then devour the bottom pastry layer.

Does no one else do it like this?

A strategic dismantling

I may have to give this technique a go…..and I really fancy a slice right now

Me too. I can easily demolish two, as they usually come in a double pack (if bought at the supermarket).

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