FabSwingers.com forum: Festival dos and donts

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The festival life has never intrigued me, as I enjoy live music but found the music distorted from huge speakers. So admittedly have never been to one where camping is involved. But I have been invited on a stag to a festival where camping is involved. Tents are provided I believe as it is organised by someone else.

So does anyone have any tips for survival at a festival?

I have heard horror stories about portaloos and don’t fancy encounters with them.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Take your own toilet roll and baby wipes. And a gazillion pairs of socks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get off your tits as early as you can then you dont care anyway

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By *omCoyoteMan
over a year ago

Northern England

"The festival life has never intrigued me, as I enjoy live music but found the music distorted from huge speakers. So admittedly have never been to one where camping is involved. But I have been invited on a stag to a festival where camping is involved. Tents are provided I believe as it is organised by someone else.

So does anyone have any tips for survival at a festival?

I have heard horror stories about portaloos and don’t fancy encounters with them. "

Just two words - "Baby Wipes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep - don't go.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yep - don't go. "

I tried that and was coaxed into it.

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Sauce sachets

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By *j84Man
over a year ago

Stevenage

They’re amazing places!!

The variety of people in one place all for the music and good times.

Wet wipes, bottled water, enquire about upgrading to luxury toilet/shower facilities, worth every penny.

Talk to as many people as you can and enjoy it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't have your wristband on the same arm that the hand that you wipe your arse with is on.

You'll not get a better tip and I'm a 40 year veteran!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't wear wellies.

If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.

Don't wear wellies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's Glastonbury, don't make plans to see 7 bands on 6 stages in one day...a) it won't happen b) you'll be fucked and c) you'll have a shit day and wish you hadn't tried.

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By *oldfischMan
over a year ago

HARROW

Find where the nearest Hilton is, book in for the duration and get driven back and forth; take a dump before you leave the hotel as the portaloos will make you gag. Piss in the bushes if possible. The tent might come in useful if you get lucky. Sneak you're own vodka in if poss, down the underpants is a safe bet from searches.

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

Music festivals are just the best! Wet wipes and toilet roll is all you need, throw your wellies on and just enjoy it for what it is! Your comforts will be at home waiting for you

Miss pc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do imagine going

Don't EVER go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What type of festival makes a difference

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Wet wipes, loo roll, deodorant, condoms and a positive mental attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).

Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).

Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.

An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.

A piece of tarpaulin to sit on.

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By *hisCharManMan
over a year ago

South Manchester

Wellies, bum wipes and a disposable poncho (but please use it every day not one a day)

And here’s my biggest advice.

Take a bottle to have a wee in in the morning, best bet is a fabric conditioner bottle (large opening so your not having to aim in to the neck of a bottle) that way you don’t have to get dressed and queue up for 30 mins.

I’m a 30 year and 18 Glastonbury veteran

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glastonbury is the both the best and worst I have ever experienced in one weekend. Great music choice, good laugh, high wanker numbers and stool piles (balance and prayers required).

However, Download/Donington are consistently great, lovely crowd, depending on who your with bring a big blow up tent. Try and pitch against fence, easier to find when off your face.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Decent boots you don't mind getting muddy, I wear army boots as more comfy than wellies.

Hip flask of whiskey down your crotch.

Go for a shit at 6am.

Bring your own toilet roll and wipes.

Sleep with your wallet in your sock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be a flag wanker (despite the fact I'd have spend whole days away from my family without them!)

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By *uttercupEWoman
over a year ago

yarmouth

Toilet roll. Baby wipes. Lots of clean socks. Comfortable shoes you don’t mind getting ruined. Sun cream. Foil blanket (to put in bottom of sleeping bag around feet if cold at night). Most importantly, don’t over pack! You will mostly have to walk a good distance before you set up camp!

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By *x Rock Chick xxWoman
over a year ago

Blackburn

It all depends which festival it is and what the facilities are like x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wellies and wipes.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

[Removed by poster at 09/02/22 23:37:39]

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"Don't wear wellies.

If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.

Don't wear wellies."

I've done at least 20 festivals and never had a issue with wellies, do always wear decent socks with them & have never had to wear them for the whole weekend, so babybe that helps

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

You'll have a great time

Which festival are you going to

You can sometimes buy passes for posh loos

As others have said, loo roll, baby wipes, portable charger for your phone, wellies because it always rains

Oh I wanna go to a festival, I miss dancing to live music in a muddy field

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pay for the luxury showers / toilets.

Other than that, they say baby wipes or whatever, but I’ve coped fine without.

Just clothes and one decent, comfortable walking pair of footwear that you’re happy getting wrecked

And just enjoy the ride!

Hip flasks are optional, but generally beer isn’t that crazy priced at any festival I’ve been too.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Pay for the luxury showers / toilets.

Other than that, they say baby wipes or whatever, but I’ve coped fine without.

Just clothes and one decent, comfortable walking pair of footwear that you’re happy getting wrecked

And just enjoy the ride!

Hip flasks are optional, but generally beer isn’t that crazy priced at any festival I’ve been too. "

Hip flasks are handy when you've nailed your beer, are in the crowd, band are still playing and you don't want to go queue for a beer yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't wear wellies.

If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.

Don't wear wellies.

I've done at least 20 festivals and never had a issue with wellies, do always wear decent socks with them & have never had to wear them for the whole weekend, so babybe that helps "

Probably me, I just hate wearing wellies. I end up having to gaffer tape my legs where they bite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So does anyone have any tips for survival at a festival?

I have heard horror stories about portaloos and don’t fancy encounters with them. "

Only been the once. The cost of the ‘glam tent’ was money well spent - unless you fancy some pissed up shdoodent or hippie having a dump at the door of your tent at 4am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I've ever had a shower at a festival. There have been years where I haven't had a wash, other than to flatten my hair down so I could get an alice band in, and clean my teeth.

One year at Glastonbury I wore the same shorts for 6 days (including sleeping in them) and just changed my t-shirt every day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get up early to use the toilet as they are normally cleaned at night

Only leave in the tent what you can afford to have stolen

Keep spare clothes in your car

Don’t take the Brown Acid

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

take what you expect to find ... then take it home with you afterwards ... and remember ... don't panic.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

"Only been the once. The cost of the ‘glam tent’ was money well spent - unless you fancy some pissed up shdoodent or hippie having a dump at the door of your tent at 4am.

The one and only time I went someone fell over our tent in the night, the fly sheet loosened, there was a thunderstorm, and awoken just the inner tent in 2” of water soaked and hypothermic. Then got robbed at knifepoint at the station on the way home.

Actually, that’s a lie, I also went to one for a day and didn’t camp and it was great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once your there lose your mates you'll have more fun..

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Once your there lose your mates you'll have more fun.."

Standard.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I don't think I've ever had a shower at a festival. There have been years where I haven't had a wash, other than to flatten my hair down so I could get an alice band in, and clean my teeth.

One year at Glastonbury I wore the same shorts for 6 days (including sleeping in them) and just changed my t-shirt every day. "

That's what the baby wipes are for aren't they?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I've ever had a shower at a festival. There have been years where I haven't had a wash, other than to flatten my hair down so I could get an alice band in, and clean my teeth.

One year at Glastonbury I wore the same shorts for 6 days (including sleeping in them) and just changed my t-shirt every day.

That's what the baby wipes are for aren't they?!

Indeed

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Don't wear wellies.

If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.

Don't wear wellies."

Omg yes, your feet, back and knees will thank you...

Even bad hiking boots are better than wellies

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

Don't think I've ever heard distorted sound at a festival, even smaller ones without the high end kit. There are issues with wind causing a drop on volume on occasion but that's it.

If you can get them to go VIP camping it's worth it (although of you're paying other people to put up your tents that's often VIP).

Get there early to get a good camping spot, flat but not too close to the toilets.

If you can't do VIP camping, most festivals have a separate VIP toilet pass... That's worth it.

Most festivals don't allow you to take in alcohol and now have metal detectors which pick up hip flasks. Either one of those plastic collapsible water pouches or Google how to remove water bottle tops with the seal still intact, and take plastic water bottles filled with vodka (or other clear spirit).

Take a double hight airbed, a proper pillow, a duvet and a blanket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).

Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.

An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.

A piece of tarpaulin to sit on."

The image of the loos this gives is so funny. Im guessing the floor squelches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do book a hotel. Don't go camping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).

Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.

An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.

A piece of tarpaulin to sit on.

The image of the loos this gives is so funny. Im guessing the floor squelches"

Some festivals aren't so bad now. The ones with compost toilets particularly, they don't smell and they don't seem to attract the 'shut up the wallers' like long-drops and portaloos do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).

Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.

An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.

A piece of tarpaulin to sit on.

The image of the loos this gives is so funny. Im guessing the floor squelches

Some festivals aren't so bad now. The ones with compost toilets particularly, they don't smell and they don't seem to attract the 'shut up the wallers' like long-drops and portaloos do."

'shit up the wallers', even!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Camp away from the main paths , get a good unique flag , jetboil, aeropress, warm jumper , ear plugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite everything I've said, I absolutely love festivals, I've had some of the best times of my life at them, both working (as a photographer) and as a paying punter.

I've very rarely seen any serious trouble other than at the old V Festivals and at Reading/Leeds...both of which don't allow booze into the arenas so you get a bunch of kids that have just finished their A Levels getting pissed as twats before heading in, which is a recipe for disaster both before during and after the bands come on.

Best festival in the known universe?

2000 Trees in Cheltenham, where you can watch everyone's favourite bands before they become everyone's favourite bands! I have photos of Wolf Alice and the 1975 from there before they'd even released their debut albums.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Depending on where you are going advice will vary.

I've been to a fair few Downloads. I never camp there - at all! I prefer to sleep in my own bed rather than camp. Get a parking pass & drive there. Sorted!

I've heard horror stories of people pissing on tents & shitting not where they are supposed to.....Yuck! So, I avoid all that shit (ahem), pardon the pun & make my own way there.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Don't leave anything in your tent you want to keep, it will get stolen.

Ear plugs.

Clothes with pockets that do up.

Charger pack.

Loads of money as food and drink is disgustingly expensive.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Also, forgot this pearl of wisdom:

Have a shit at your home, B&B, hotel. Then you don't have to negotiate that horrible porta loo & the feeling whilst you are about to do the doody of retching/feeling sick/being sick as well.

Just the horrible urinals.....

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