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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi

Some time ago, I posted a thread about my mother being a little overbearing and not overly happy with me.... well today I had to finally tell her what I like to do in my spare time.... with husbands permission ... Ohhhh boy

I feel so flat and the guilt has been so imense. I love my mum dont get me wrong and I have really found it hard not being able to tell her as it was something i felt she didn't need to know about. She took it a lot better than I thought, what really upset her was the fact that I was unable to tell her and be open with her.....

If any of you were forced into a position that made you uncomfortable, would you tell your mother, just for her to realise you are doing what you like and are actually happy or would you have tried to keep hiding it, since what they dont know, technically does not hurt them....

S xxxx

PS it has been a week from hell, and really did not need the conversation I have just had to have.... but hey its out there now, I cannot take it back.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

First of all, well done for picking up the courage to do this. Secondly, I am sure your mum will come round and see your courage to speak out as a sign of your loving trusting relationship. Lets face it, if we trust a relationship we are more likely to say what we really feel. I do empathise with your feeling guilty.. although I d say you need not. If it were reverse... you would be grateful as a mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum and I have a good relationship so if I felt it necessary to tell her then I don't think I'd be overly worried about her reaction, I know she loves me regardless and if I'm happy, she's happy. X

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i cant see any situation where i would have to tell my mum what i enjoy doing but if i did i'm not sure how she would take it.

i think she thinks i'm a big prude but she likes to think she is down with the kids so will probably tke it well.

sorry you have had to be put in this situation and i hope you and your mum find some common ground

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I just don't get why parents need to know but each to their own.

all the very best to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mum knows as my sisters said some thing .so tolled her what swinging was she ok with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it concerns my sex life my mother need know nothing about it ...... just as I promise never to enquire about hers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mums been dead for about 12 years.

i wouldnt have felt the need to tell her what i get up to.

she knew i was no angel before i got married anyway.

she was quite broad minded in some ways and she did have a sense of humour.

i could imagine her laughing at some of the things i get up to.

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By *aris23Woman
over a year ago

France

I've not hidden what I do, nor my preferences from any of my family. My mother thinks I have my sex life about right - have my fun but don't let them hang around...lol. My sister just keeps saying 'condom condom' every time I mention a meet. Guess we are lucky that we can be open and honest with each other and I have a few people to check my safety during a meet as a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

IN all fainess she took the whole thing a lot better than I thought she would.... I know she has been concerned that I have not been around as much... Her main concern was for the little people..... which is understandable.

My mother unfortuately knows me too well, has been through a lot with me over the years, and dare I say, probalby knows when I am uncomfortable, and has a habit of not giving up until she knows everything ... Just feel sorry for my husband who also seemed to get a bit of a ear bashing....

S xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it concerns my sex life my mother need know nothing about it ...... just as I promise never to enquire about hers."

Same here, my mum doesn't even know about most of my tattoos and piercings as she disapproves and I'm nearly 30!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the feeling including the big guilt trips. Mine still treats me like a two year old and if I stand up to her then i get the water works. I wish we could be closer and more like friends but anything I do is never good enough. And my brother because he is settled he has been and always will be the golden boy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And just to add what is it with mums and selective memory x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id hate to be so distant from my mum i couldnt tell her things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know the feeling including the big guilt trips. Mine still treats me like a two year old and if I stand up to her then i get the water works. I wish we could be closer and more like friends but anything I do is never good enough. And my brother because he is settled he has been and always will be the golden boy x "

i know how you feel. my mum used to be just as annoying. only since shes been gone it doesnt seem to matter so much. i just think about the good times.

and her good points.

she probably worries about you and wants the best for you, is my guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know the feeling including the big guilt trips. Mine still treats me like a two year old and if I stand up to her then i get the water works. I wish we could be closer and more like friends but anything I do is never good enough. And my brother because he is settled he has been and always will be the golden boy x

i know how you feel. my mum used to be just as annoying. only since shes been gone it doesnt seem to matter so much. i just think about the good times.

and her good points.

she probably worries about you and wants the best for you, is my guess."

By constantly having digs and putting me down ya think x

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My mum does'nt need to know any details of my sex life before swinging or sice we started swinging

Its easy for us though as we don't need baby sitters so don't have to make up stories about where we're going and she does'nt live close enough to us to have constant input into what im doing or where im going,im sure it would be a different story if she lived up the road and wanted to know where I was everytime we went out,then I may feel guilty about having to make up stories about where we've been and who with

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I don't discuss my sex life with anyone, so I wouldn't feel the need to tell anyone what we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't discuss my sex life with anyone, so I wouldn't feel the need to tell anyone what we do."

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I couldn't discuss it with either of my parents. I'm a middle aged guy and we have never discussed sex, never even aknowledged I have had sex.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Unfortunately my mum died before I got into all this. However, I have told my daughter who is 30 and she took it well. In fact, she admitted she was on another site looking for meets!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't tell my mother anything about my sex life as we don't share intimate details like that. We had a brilliant close relationship but boundaries were drawn. I wouldn't discuss my sex life with her nor she with me, just as I don't speak to my own children about my sex life

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I just don't get why parents need to know but each to their own.

all the very best to you"

Neither do I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother probably already knows as she's like flaming mystic meg

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Id hate to be so distant from my mum i couldnt tell her things. "

I think you miss the point. I'm very close to all my girls but non of us feel it appropriate to discuss our sex lives with each other.

My girls are 21, 25 and 29 and their father and I are the first people they turn to when they have a problem or just need a boost.

That's what's important not sharing their sex lives, I don't want or need to know...just as they don't need to know why I have brackets on my wall or a hook in my ceiling!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I don't discuss my sex life with anyone, so I wouldn't feel the need to tell anyone what we do."

You're not alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its nobodies business but my own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum passed (f) away in august bless her but we had a very open and honest relationship although i never told her about my swinging apparently she learnt a few things from my teenage diary lol but i could always talk to her about absolutely anything and no doubt i would have told her about my lifestyle and all i would have gotten is the safe sex lecture, i hope things settle for you soon OP it really can only get better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum and I have a close relationship but there are things i just wouldnt discuss with her and this is one of them.

On saying that the kind of relationship i have with my girls is totally different and they can discuss absolutely anything with us.

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