FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Fab Bullshit !

Jump to newest
 

By *uitednbooted2 OP   Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once”

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more about the woman's pleasure than my own.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

Its true I can

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can "

It's true I can

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can "

I would change the technique, it is obviously not working out

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire


"I'm more about the woman's pleasure than my own..... "

But I am

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

I would change the technique, it is obviously not working out "

Am thinking lock jaw or muscle tear in tongue ouch

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profiles that say hate seeing cock pics …. Then ask for 1 within a few messages

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I wouldn’t meet a woman with tattoos” sure you wouldn’t buddy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Professional photographers

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock is 10 inches

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Masseurs

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uitednbooted2 OP   Man
over a year ago

Berkshire


"Professional photographers "

Ha ha yeah ! That’s a classic

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later”

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito


"Profiles that say hate seeing cock pics …. Then ask for 1 within a few messages "

I hate those…send me your penis now

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I just want to watch”

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later” "

Or “if your profile is full of cock pics it’s an instant block” … and their gallery is 100+ tit / cleavage pics

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Masseurs "

Two separate threads a few months ago started by fully qualified male masseuses. Must have been given the wrong certs.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oulou0974Woman
over a year ago

Inverness

The ones who state they “guarantee “ you won’t be disappointed/ to make you cum/ make you squirt etc

How can they guarantee anything!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Ones that say “I’m not a nutter”, but they are!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

The single guys who claim to have a female fwb that wants to meet me (but he knows what she likes and needs to test drive me 1st)

Masseurs (yes I'm going to let a total stranger free on my body)

Professional photographers who want to take pics for free (I'll bet you do)

Can "go" for hours (where exactly)

V v w e (big cock but shit sh*g)

Know what I'm doing (with what)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I'm unattached x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rincessPuddleDuck22Woman
over a year ago

.•°°

When they say they only want to get involved with honest people but lie and then when they're called out project and say they figured you were lying so did it anyway.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oliday slutCouple
over a year ago

tenerife

Anyone who replies "yeah" timewaster

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Professional photographers "

I've met two. I'm grateful for their professional services to me and to Fab.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Almost forgot my fave...

Only looking for one fwb (but meet constantly)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Anyone calling themselves an alpha male

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men saying they're straight but then post an update about wanting to suck some cocks and being fucked hard by a guy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Professional photographers

I've met two. I'm grateful for their professional services to me and to Fab.

"

Yes have met 2 great pics they were semi professional x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right "

Hours??? I'd want my phone handy for when I get bored.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I’ve read your profile” and then goes on to show they haven’t even read the first line.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Says: Experienced Dom’

Means: will slap your arse occasionally while smashing your back doors in.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ones that say “I’m not a nutter”, but they are! "

But my mother had me tested!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once” "

I did once! Many years ago, as a single 20-something. A Bristol based one who was famous at the time (in the 1990s). Had to pay though for a “professional service”

I suspect that many (but not all) who make this claim probably have, but like me probably paid for the pleasure so not sure it’s the bragging claim they think it is …

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

I once asked a lady who claimed to drive a 60k Mercedes and said she only went on holiday to Dubai but on close inspection I simply pointed out that her kitchen and bathroom looked something you’d find in a cheap bedsit obviously I got blocked

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Send me a face pic, then I'll do the same". Yeah, ok.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s one on my local feeds.

Always “Male half of couple available today”

Always the male half.

Never the couple.

Hmmm …

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse. "

only 4? You’re generous.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ilentnoiseMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Couple" profile where it only ever seems to be the man online, and when you ask if you can chat with them together the woman is always busy with work / looking after the kids / a night out with the girls / insert excuse here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ingle To MingleMan
over a year ago

Swalwell

Worst one for me was from a guy in the area claiming to be Michael Jackson's manager arranging a gig in the city using his holographic imagine

And that's why he was staying at the £29 per night shit hole hotel.

Needless to say I blamed it on the boogie and just beat it out of there.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Send me a face pic, then I'll do the same". Yeah, ok. "

Ha ha I've been told that countless times too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Professional photographers "

Oh we’ve had a few of those, don’t do couple shots though

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

They expect you to be constructive with a sentence to catch their attention and reply with a simple yes or no WTF

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Professional photographers

I've met two. I'm grateful for their professional services to me and to Fab.

Yes have met 2 great pics they were semi professional x"

I'm not sure what I'd do with a semi.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

When the profile says been here before so know how it works, followed by the great long paragraphs about Facebook (not even changed it to read Fab) being publicly owned blah de blah and the US law about using photos.

No other info and one dick pic with daily status updates complaining how bad the site is ‘now a days’ or how stuck up everyone else is.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the profile says been here before so know how it works, followed by the great long paragraphs about Facebook (not even changed it to read Fab) being publicly owned blah de blah and the US law about using photos.

No other info and one dick pic with daily status updates complaining how bad the site is ‘now a days’ or how stuck up everyone else is. "

LOL

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am looking for more than a one off bang and run

And also emmm anyone who’s banged be technically has I am fab famous

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dominant with 30 years experience

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve seen the “only looking for 1 man not here to sleep with whole site “ yet it’s there millionth account lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse. "

Ok go on them

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I'm genuine, I'll definitely turn up

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had sex... With an actual woman!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

If it’s taking you hours then you’re really doing something wrong……

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Profiles that say hate seeing cock pics …. Then ask for 1 within a few messages "
this

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to. "

It's true though, on a completely separate note, what are you plans this evening?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst one for me was from a guy in the area claiming to be Michael Jackson's manager arranging a gig in the city using his holographic imagine

And that's why he was staying at the £29 per night shit hole hotel.

Needless to say I blamed it on the boogie and just beat it out of there."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I had loads of veris on my old profile”

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not like the other guys on here"

Yep, sure

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

Hours??? I'd want my phone handy for when I get bored. "

I'd be needing a new tongue and not talking for a week after

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Almost forgot my fave...

Only looking for one fwb (but meet constantly)"

Got to kiss a few frogs though?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

When say only want vwe or give a size then every pic or very is from guy with small cock

Other seen was don’t want no or bi cur again every guy met was bi lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"I don't want to sleep with the whole site"

"I love oral and will do it for hours"

"I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)

"I'm VWE"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

I’m here to connect not to fuck the whole of fab

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to.

It's true though, on a completely separate note, what are you plans this evening? "

How about tomorrow night? But I'll give you my shopping list that you can grab first.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Not like the other guys on here"

Yep, sure "

I suppose they're technically right, no guy is like any other guy on here

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

Hours??? I'd want my phone handy for when I get bored.

I'd be needing a new tongue and not talking for a week after "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london


""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to. "

4,000,000 veris

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to.

It's true though, on a completely separate note, what are you plans this evening?

How about tomorrow night? But I'll give you my shopping list that you can grab first. "

Not falling for that one again, couldn't look the cashier in the eye as they were scanning through the lube and cucumber

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I've given a woman over 100 orgasms"

"She was lesbian until she met me" (said by a guy)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Not like the other guys on here"

Yep, sure

I suppose they're technically right, no guy is like any other guy on here "

It's funny how guys who put this in their profile also send unsolicited dick pics tho...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse. "

"guilty your honour" found out never to say that again several years ago, never said it since

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm unattached x"

That’s a good one

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later” "

It also really annoys me when men in couples automatically consider themselves somehow a cut above other fab men just because they have a partner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire


""I've given a woman over 100 orgasms"

"She was lesbian until she met me" (said by a guy) "

Omg that’s a classic had guy say that to a friend when was out clubbing she challenged him (was teasing see if if was serious) and before she even did anything he cum in pants lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a woman or couple winks you so you send them a message to thank them try to initiate conversation, only for them to completely blank you. Why wink in the first place then?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah "

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah "

in the midnight hour she cried more more more

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming "

How long you got as the list keeps going

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

in the midnight hour she cried more more more"

If only if it were true

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going "

As long as my inbox will take

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going

As long as my inbox will take "

On my way

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london


"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going

As long as my inbox will take

On my way "

(Not) patiently waiting

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Fab truth - I'm very "discrete".

Reality - discusses within ten minutes of talking to you exactly how many seconds they spent fucking someone plus that person's mum's cat name.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

Had this a few times

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"Fab truth - I'm very "discrete".

Reality - discusses within ten minutes of talking to you exactly how many seconds they spent fucking someone plus that person's mum's cat name."

True

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home"

My experience is the opposite: men expecting me to accommodate. In my twelve years here, I have only been 'accommodated' by 4 men.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home"

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend "

Behind the bike sheds obviously

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've read your profile"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"“I wouldn’t meet a woman with tattoos” sure you wouldn’t buddy "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm bi"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously "

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

I would change the technique, it is obviously not working out "

ROFL - I was thinking the same thing. …and that poor guys tongue must hate him soo much

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car! "

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead? "

Shed!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

Shed! "

Whilst his wife was asleep

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


""I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)"

This!

Depending in how it's worded, I also suspect some of the men claiming that simply have aggressive tendencies and assume they can employ them erotically.

Our profile once said that Alice was keen to explore hotwifing. A guy messaged and told me I was a cuckold. I politely told him that was not the dynamic we were after.

He actually replied and said "Trust me, by the time I'm finished with her, you'll be a cuck!"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

Shed!

Whilst his wife was asleep "

Wow!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

We're all forgetting the "professional man" as opposed to the unprofessional man

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home"

Oh do people think that of me? I can't as I live with my kids. Ive always found FWB were quite happy to have me in their home.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)

This!

Depending in how it's worded, I also suspect some of the men claiming that simply have aggressive tendencies and assume they can employ them erotically.

Our profile once said that Alice was keen to explore hotwifing. A guy messaged and told me I was a cuckold. I politely told him that was not the dynamic we were after.

He actually replied and said "Trust me, by the time I'm finished with her, you'll be a cuck!" "

Wow! That’s unbelievable, cheeky sod.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll make you squirt"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


""I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)

This!

Depending in how it's worded, I also suspect some of the men claiming that simply have aggressive tendencies and assume they can employ them erotically.

Our profile once said that Alice was keen to explore hotwifing. A guy messaged and told me I was a cuckold. I politely told him that was not the dynamic we were after.

He actually replied and said "Trust me, by the time I'm finished with her, you'll be a cuck!"

Wow! That’s unbelievable, cheeky sod."

Strangely, he didn't get a meet!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"Anyone who replies "yeah" timewaster "
we hate one word answers lol , so lazy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once” "

I am a famous porn star

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once” "

i promise not to cum in your mouth pmsl

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone who replies "yeah" timewaster we hate one word answers lol , so lazy "

Yeah

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"There’s one on my local feeds.

Always “Male half of couple available today”

Always the male half.

Never the couple.

Hmmm …"

we get that in devon quite often lol ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later”

It also really annoys me when men in couples automatically consider themselves somehow a cut above other fab men just because they have a partner. "

speaking as a man with a wife of over 25 years i consider myself lucky to be married but in the same breath i must be quite cool to keep sandy ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Masseurs "

Whatever!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home"
, basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home, basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ?? "

A single man or woman here is just as likely to have children as a couple. And couples aren't the only people who value their privacy. That's quite entitled.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got loads of verifications but lost log in.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most things I receive in messages

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company."

Vivid!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair


"Fab truth - I'm very "discrete".

Reality - discusses within ten minutes of talking to you exactly how many seconds they spent fucking someone plus that person's mum's cat name.

True"

"discrete": perhaps they're informing us of their distinct individuality...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm shite in bed best avoid me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home,

basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ?? "

You can be single (male of female) and still have children in the home, don’t need to be a couple. I don’t accommodate in my home, wouldn’t expect anyone else to, it is my safe space.

Even if I didn’t have kids I still wouldn’t accommodate for that very reason, safety.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

“Open minded” nah you’re not really

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home,

basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ??

You can be single (male of female) and still have children in the home, don’t need to be a couple. I don’t accommodate in my home, wouldn’t expect anyone else to, it is my safe space.

Even if I didn’t have kids I still wouldn’t accommodate for that very reason, safety. "

Especially if he is an Arsenal fan. He wouldn’t be safe with a Spurs supporter!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will make you squirt...yeah whatever.

Fancy fucking my fwb?..

Fancy riding this?...& pic of a angry looking penis..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

[Removed by poster at 06/02/22 22:40:08]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Most common bull I have experienced is when someone says they find stimulating intelligent conversation a turn on, thing is you can't have a one way conversation and they forget they have to respond in a stimulating and intelligent way as well, preferably with more than one sentence

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Male half is 100% straight”

Hmmm, so that’s his twin brothers profile on FabGuys then?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just seen a "photographer's" profile. Just the one profile pic, which was awful and all his veris are meets, nothing about photos lol.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The “drama free zone “ or anything linked with drama certainly means “you gonna get some drama boy” , is always a classic

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im single

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I'm looking for fwb...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car! "

Did that once and almost put my foot through the window lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex

One message claimed “we looked hot” - if you’re gonna bs us, make it at least a little believable lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

Did that once and almost put my foot through the window lol"

Oh jesus

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have read your profile and thought I will message you. Next message do you have Kik which if they had read my profile you would know my answer.

Maybe reading and understanding are two different things.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys who have just joined saying how they had a mfffffff. Yeah, right.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have read your profile and thought I will message you. Next message do you have Kik which if they had read my profile you would know my answer.

Maybe reading and understanding are two different things. "

Maybe looking at the photos and reading are two different things

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Straight then their looking for says looking for males and TV TS

Being non judgemental/claiming to be straight but doesn't care who gives them a BJ

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Bullshit on FAB? Surely not….

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago

Swindon

"I am bi, honest!"

Profile says they are straight...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The single guys who claim to have a female fwb that wants to meet me (but he knows what she likes and needs to test drive me 1st)

Masseurs (yes I'm going to let a total stranger free on my body)

Professional photographers who want to take pics for free (I'll bet you do)

Can "go" for hours (where exactly)

V v w e (big cock but shit sh*g)

Know what I'm doing (with what) "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a guy’s profile say straight but a tv/cd have verified them yeah right

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain "

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

When done right you can spend quite an exquisite time rolling one orgasm off after another (yes the lady has to be pre-disposed towards multiple orgasms which not many are) but it can be pretty damn fantastic!!

There's also nothing quite like the empowerment when you get the timing right and pull out of an intercourse orgasm, go down and trigger a massive clitoral orgasm - you do risk a slap in the head if you get it wrong and it's still too sensitive down there

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

When done right you can spend quite an exquisite time rolling one orgasm off after another (yes the lady has to be pre-disposed towards multiple orgasms which not many are) but it can be pretty damn fantastic!!

There's also nothing quite like the empowerment when you get the timing right and pull out of an intercourse orgasm, go down and trigger a massive clitoral orgasm - you do risk a slap in the head if you get it wrong and it's still too sensitive down there "

Ooooh... Something I want to try now, clip around the ear be damned!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I love curvy women!

Oh, no thank you.

You're too fat anyway

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glory hole available as male half at work

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple
over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea


"I love curvy women!

Oh, no thank you.

You're too fat anyway "

A glance at my gorgeous, curvaceous Mistress Clare will tell you how I feel about ladies with curves .

I do acknowledge however that a lot of guys say one thing and act totally contrary to their original view.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Ooooh... Something I want to try now, clip around the ear be damned! "

I actually quite like the slap - so win-win really

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *edonist79Man
over a year ago

Trowbridge

Something about fab being a public company now and pictures are not to be used. Our Sydney University. Pretty sure they won't be an issue.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

When done right you can spend quite an exquisite time rolling one orgasm off after another (yes the lady has to be pre-disposed towards multiple orgasms which not many are) but it can be pretty damn fantastic!!

There's also nothing quite like the empowerment when you get the timing right and pull out of an intercourse orgasm, go down and trigger a massive clitoral orgasm - you do risk a slap in the head if you get it wrong and it's still too sensitive down there "

It may just be me but this makes little sense to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ay6661986Man
over a year ago

Sunderland

I’ve been asked if I would pay off some random persons electricity bill on first message

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry


"I love curvy women!

Oh, no thank you.

You're too fat anyway "

This!

Or “Ah I didn’t mean to message you, obviously…” as a response to the no thanks.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have perfect genitals and guarantee complete satisfaction every time

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

When done right you can spend quite an exquisite time rolling one orgasm off after another (yes the lady has to be pre-disposed towards multiple orgasms which not many are) but it can be pretty damn fantastic!!

There's also nothing quite like the empowerment when you get the timing right and pull out of an intercourse orgasm, go down and trigger a massive clitoral orgasm - you do risk a slap in the head if you get it wrong and it's still too sensitive down there

It may just be me but this makes little sense to me. "

What makes little sense? That some women actually can have multiple orgasms over periods of time in excess of an hour purely from oral stimulation? Or that some women can follow an orgasm during penetrative sex with another one from oral stimulation almost consecutively?

I did caveat it with if you get it wrong and go diving when it's too sensitive the reaction can be quite negative and even used a smiley and everything

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG you've got some amazing milky white HUGE tits. I wanna suck em xxxx"

"Pardon? How rude!"

"Oh I didn't realise I was being rude xxxxxxx"

I call BS

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I'm a virgin

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a virgin "

Verging on the ridiculous

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ran out of messages snap me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *for2Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

If he's down there that long he's not doing it right. It can take some time to build a lady up to orgasm but not that long. Not to mention some ladies dont like it very much and some wont come orally. We are all different and sometimes it takes a few visits to get it right. And I bet we've all had meets we think are going to be amazing and just aren't. And meets we think aren't going to be great and are totally mind blowing. People are all different, and for me personally I love that, makes it so much more interesting and fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

420 friendly

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm more about the woman's pleasure than my own..... "

Hands up… I do prefer pleasuring a woman first and having her pleasured means a lot to me!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *he_massangerMan
over a year ago

Stornoway

Hot sexy couple - erroneous self-assessment.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get copy and paste or lazy messages from people who state it several times in their own profile and when a polite no thanks comes their way it often generates a funny response.

Always makes me chuckle not really ‘Bullshit’ as such, though I’ve seen plenty of that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I cut my nob in half in a boating accident.

Hang on, that’s me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a straight guy but want your cock as my first. Never done this before

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I cut my nob in half in a boating accident.

Hang on, that’s me "

Just had to look! Cock looks all there to me..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

"

Said no living man

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By *iggingMan
over a year ago

Oldham


"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can "

so can i

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top