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Is it just me?

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By *ingle To Mingle OP   Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

Is it just me or do other people also think that actives such as swinging, dogging and NSA are fairly tame, quite mainstream these days and certainly no longer shocking or outrageous in the minds of today's members of society?

I'm still bemused by the idea that any of this is wild or crazy to any progressively thinking individual.

I guess they'll always be people who'll think differently but surely they're a dying breed, now mainly replaced by less hung up and less conservative younger generations, ready to decide for themselves what is decent or right rather than have it dictated to them by failed ideologies and hypocrites stood at the altar.

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By *ananabrumMan
over a year ago

castle bromwich

Id argue your a minority, western attitudes towards sex and sexuality are not shared by the majority of the woelds population. More sex for us lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

In my experience the younger generation is way more conservative than older people when it comes to non monogamous sex and things that might be considered slightly outside of the norm.

Comedians still make stupid, giggly jokes about naturists for goodness sake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess being a married swinger is kind of hypocritical.

Pretty sure most people would still be shocked if they knew what we'd got up to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I guess being a married swinger is kind of hypocritical.

Pretty sure most people would still be shocked if they knew what we'd got up to."

I'm damn sure all but one of my friends would be horrified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I don’t think my mam would be happy if she knew what I do (She’s very old fashioned)

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

I would say that if you spend enough time in this world then it becomes normal to you, but not to the vast majority of the public.

People have many hang ups about many things so I don't think this lifestyle is anything like mainstream for one second. Even with the advent of porn at the push of a button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess being a married swinger is kind of hypocritical.

Pretty sure most people would still be shocked if they knew what we'd got up to.

I'm damn sure all but one of my friends would be horrified"

Well you've definitely had a good time then

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I guess being a married swinger is kind of hypocritical.

Pretty sure most people would still be shocked if they knew what we'd got up to.

I'm damn sure all but one of my friends would be horrified

Well you've definitely had a good time then "

I've given it a fair crack of the whip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s very unacceptable where I am, and my mum would bloody kill me.

Interestingly, a rather d*unken conversation with my brothers revealed that one of them also swings

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London & North Wessex Downs


"It’s very unacceptable where I am, and my mum would bloody kill me.

Interestingly, a rather d*unken conversation with my brothers revealed that one of them also swings "

Must be genetic

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

When you’ve been here a while then most things seem the norm and occasionally you will Google something you wish you hadn’t. Majority of my friends outside of fab would be shocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s very unacceptable where I am, and my mum would bloody kill me.

Interestingly, a rather d*unken conversation with my brothers revealed that one of them also swings "

Hope you've blocked him

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By *ingle To Mingle OP   Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

I suspect most people have some kind of kink, they just don't let other know because of shame or other perceived ideas they hold.

Maybe it's the company I keep, but I hardly know anyone (especially those under 40) who think physical pleasure should only be between 2 people in a committed relationship.

Saying that, I have just spent 4 years back at university and have always been open about my sexuality and attitudes around my friends and family.

Stigma is certainly reducing all round.

But do any of you think of yourselves as outrageous because of your sexual habits?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s very unacceptable where I am, and my mum would bloody kill me.

Interestingly, a rather d*unken conversation with my brothers revealed that one of them also swings

Hope you've blocked him "

He’s not on here. Thank fuck

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

My kids are far more liberal about sexual orientation than when I was a child. And they are very much into e.g. LGBTQIA+ rights.

One of my children is interested in polyamory, but that's just because a celebrity she likes is.

However, Monogamy is deeply engrained in our society and they still feel the effects of that. I think that will *eventually* lessen, particularly when you think about the fact that a threesome is consistently seen as one of the number 1 sexual fantasies.

I think being "monogamish" will be a route many would consider.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I do think it's becoming a lot more common place but still far from becoming the norm

I think most of us would be surprised at the amount of our friends that either do stuff or are interested in finding out more

I know in my circle of friends it's a common conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My kids are far more liberal about sexual orientation than when I was a child. And they are very much into e.g. LGBTQIA+ rights.

One of my children is interested in polyamory, but that's just because a celebrity she likes is.

However, Monogamy is deeply engrained in our society and they still feel the effects of that. I think that will *eventually* lessen, particularly when you think about the fact that a threesome is consistently seen as one of the number 1 sexual fantasies.

I think being "monogamish" will be a route many would consider."

I like monogamy. The idea of juggling a relationship with additional people doesn't appeal at all. It's complex enough with just two people!

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

I genuinely think this is why it’s popular, and to provide a stable extended family for the raising of children.

As I don’t have any kids, I feel I don’t need to comply.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I genuinely think this is why it’s popular, and to provide a stable extended family for the raising of children.

As I don’t have any kids, I feel I don’t need to comply. "

Statistically, there are much more stable configurations for raising children. And when you consider the divorce level - often caused by infidelity - monogamy seems far from stable (in reality, at least).

Nevertheless, I don't want to derail the thread!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I like monogamy. The idea of juggling a relationship with additional people doesn't appeal at all. It's complex enough with just two people!"

Reading your profile, you're not monogamous in the traditional sense. But, hey, do whatever works for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like monogamy. The idea of juggling a relationship with additional people doesn't appeal at all. It's complex enough with just two people!

Reading your profile, you're not monogamous in the traditional sense. But, hey, do whatever works for you."

Been with the same woman for 25 years. I'd say that's pretty monogamous.

We don't form relationships with the other people we occasionally have sex with. Well not the sort of relationships that debate how much loo roll to buy or argues about whose hair blocked up the bath.

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By *ingle To Mingle OP   Man
over a year ago

Swalwell

As a sociologist, I do need to point out that the idea that a monogamous, 2 parent family set up as being the best to raise a family in is a long debunked throwback to the eugenics movement and the writings of the likes of Talcott Parsons.

It's also a very recent sociological construction, never based on facts and data but entirely on religious doctrine.

Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly depends on your idea of 'best'.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"As a sociologist, I do need to point out that the idea that a monogamous, 2 parent family set up as being the best to raise a family in is a long debunked throwback to the eugenics movement and the writings of the likes of Talcott Parsons.

It's also a very recent sociological construction, never based on facts and data but entirely on religious doctrine.

Just saying "

Jordan Peterson would argue with you on that point.

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By *ingle To Mingle OP   Man
over a year ago

Swalwell


"As a sociologist, I do need to point out that the idea that a monogamous, 2 parent family set up as being the best to raise a family in is a long debunked throwback to the eugenics movement and the writings of the likes of Talcott Parsons.

It's also a very recent sociological construction, never based on facts and data but entirely on religious doctrine.

Just saying

Jordan Peterson would argue with you on that point. "

So would Hitler

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So this got weird

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By *ingle To Mingle OP   Man
over a year ago

Swalwell


"So this got weird "

Not really, all just part of the bigger picture.

Depending on what theory is used to examine it, you will always get different answers.

Recent studies showed that under 35% of those aged 18-34 consider themselves straight.

So using the lens of Queer Theory - the heterosexual normative is quickly becoming whqt society would call queer

Maybe we're loosing out badge but gaining our liberty in return?

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"As a sociologist, I do need to point out that the idea that a monogamous, 2 parent family set up as being the best to raise a family in is a long debunked throwback to the eugenics movement and the writings of the likes of Talcott Parsons.

It's also a very recent sociological construction, never based on facts and data but entirely on religious doctrine.

Just saying

Jordan Peterson would argue with you on that point.

So would Hitler"

Is that Professor Hitler ?

No, so a pretty ridiculous comparison dont you think ?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"As a sociologist, I do need to point out that the idea that a monogamous, 2 parent family set up as being the best to raise a family in is a long debunked throwback to the eugenics movement and the writings of the likes of Talcott Parsons.

It's also a very recent sociological construction, never based on facts and data but entirely on religious doctrine.

Just saying

Jordan Peterson would argue with you on that point. "

Jordan Peterson would argue black was blue.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Well, as someone who has watched him widely, talking on various subjects, I find him, in the very least, to be factual and very careful with words.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"As a sociologist, I do need to point out that the idea that a monogamous, 2 parent family set up as being the best to raise a family in is a long debunked throwback to the eugenics movement and the writings of the likes of Talcott Parsons.

It's also a very recent sociological construction, never based on facts and data but entirely on religious doctrine.

Just saying

Jordan Peterson would argue with you on that point. "

Any time I hear that Peterson doesn't like something, I'm more and more attracted to it.

The guy cant even get his facts right on the Bible, Jung, or Lobsters - his 3 favourite subjects.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Been with the same woman for 25 years. I'd say that's pretty monogamous.

We don't form relationships with the other people we occasionally have sex with."

As I said, not monogamous in the traditional sense.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Jordan Peterson would argue black was blue."

Especially as his far-right acolytes would love any dismissal of black!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents and sister would be horrified and disgusted if they knew I led this lifestyle. My parents are very old fashioned and my sister is just frigid, in my opinion. I can just hear the lectures right now even though I'm a grown woman. Out of my three friends only one would be open minded about it and the other one is on here who I've known for four years now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told my parents about my second girlfriend a while ago, just because I had a perverse desire to see my dad's shocked reaction. Even after coming out to him as trans and bi he was quite shocked, he started talkung about threesomes apropos of nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my perspective people have always been faux outraged but secretly intrigued... and always wanting to know just that little bit more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know someone who swings and is completely open about it. People always ask him about it but as soon as he leaves the room their attitudes change. This is why we wouldn’t tell friends and family.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"From my perspective people have always been faux outraged but secretly intrigued... and always wanting to know just that little bit more "

I think the tabloid press captures this perfectly!

So and so did something outrageous... Here's a semi-naked pic of a tipsy celebrity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know someone who swings and is completely open about it. People always ask him about it but as soon as he leaves the room their attitudes change. This is why we wouldn’t tell friends and family."

This is why I am guarded at work

It's predominately female, young, very cliquey, all mates out of work kinda shit, so bitchy about each other though

The things that get said are horrific and the office manager is the worst of the lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From my perspective people have always been faux outraged but secretly intrigued... and always wanting to know just that little bit more

I think the tabloid press captures this perfectly!

So and so did something outrageous... Here's a semi-naked pic of a tipsy celebrity."

The hypocrisy of outrage at overt sexuality or people behaving outside accepted “norms” while also utilising sex as a means of encouraging consumption of goods.

Our society is so warped and confused because of all of this mixed messaging: so much suppression of sexual urges, oppression of sexuality yet so many salacious stories and peeping Tom-esque paparazzi shots of Z-list celebs in their bikinis.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"The hypocrisy of outrage at overt sexuality or people behaving outside accepted “norms” while also utilising sex as a means of encouraging consumption of goods.

Our society is so warped and confused because of all of this mixed messaging: so much suppression of sexual urges, oppression of sexuality yet so many salacious stories and peeping Tom-esque paparazzi shots of Z-list celebs in their bikinis"

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