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Pallbearer

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By *os19 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Today I was a pallbearer at a funeral for a very important member of my family. I was asked on the day so to my way of thinking there was no way I could refuse not that I ever would refuse any family members in their moment of grief.Out of interest has anyone else been a pallbearer or refused to be a pallbearer for whatever reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I haven’t. But sorry to hear you had been asked last minute. Could you ask perhaps at a later date why they waited to ask you? Or was it a last minute thing for all of them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss OP, and well done for helping out even though you weren't prepared for it

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

I have been and I felt honoured to be asked.... I was a bubbling wreck, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss. Yes have been a few times. Always feels like an honour. But also very sad.

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

Sorry for your lost OP.

No I haven't but I would be honoured if I was ever asked

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I have, a number of times and like you OP was asked at the last minute each time.

It is an honour to shoulder someone you love on their last journey, it is sad, and it does hurt, but it gives time to reflect on how many times they carried you through the tough times.

I am sorry for your loss OP

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I have been a pallbearer 3 times. I took it as a mark of respect that I was asked to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss. A tough day. I carried my dad with my brother, but was planned. I think it’s a good thing to do. I recently and unexpectedly lost a close colleague and offered but was politely declined.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have, a number of times and like you OP was asked at the last minute each time.

It is an honour to shoulder someone you love on their last journey, it is sad, and it does hurt, but it gives time to reflect on how many times they carried you through the tough times.

I am sorry for your loss OP "

Really agree with this

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Sorry to hear about your loss OP

Yes I have. I was the only one who carried my daughter x

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

I carried my Son 18 months ago with 5 of his best friends. I was the 1st to hold him at his moment of birth, 27yrs 2 months and 5 days later I was the last to put him down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes when a friend died when we were 15, both my Grandmothers funerals and all 3 of my children, nothing can prepare you for carrying a tiny white coffin

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Yes my grandmother and it was last minute. Upset but glad I did it

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Sparkle1974 and Thunderace. I wish I had words to express what I am thinking just now.

Xx

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Yes when a friend died when we were 15, both my Grandmothers funerals and all 3 of my children, nothing can prepare you for carrying a tiny white coffin"

I know that feeling

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth


"I carried my Son 18 months ago with 5 of his best friends. I was the 1st to hold him at his moment of birth, 27yrs 2 months and 5 days later I was the last to put him down. "

Sorry to hear no parent should have to bury their child

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth


"Sorry to hear about your loss OP

Yes I have. I was the only one who carried my daughter x"

Sorry for your loss, heartbreaking

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth


"Yes when a friend died when we were 15, both my Grandmothers funerals and all 3 of my children, nothing can prepare you for carrying a tiny white coffin"

Awful. No parent should have to bury their children sorry for all your losses

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mr KC carried my Grandma into the church, along with my uncle, brother and cousins. He was asked beforehand though. Sorry for your recent loss, Cos.

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

I insisted on being a pallbearer at my Dad's funeral it was the least I could do considering how things were between us the day before he unexpectedly died

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I carried my Son 18 months ago with 5 of his best friends. I was the 1st to hold him at his moment of birth, 27yrs 2 months and 5 days later I was the last to put him down. "

I am so sorry for your loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was honoured to be asked twice three years ago, extremely sad occasions but extremely honoured to help someone to there place of rest.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Unfortunately I've had to do it a few times. It is an honour.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

At least 20 times.

Parents, grandparents, family and friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done it 3 times. Both of my grandmothers and my uncle last year being the most recent.

It can be tough but I consider it an honour to do so. Especially if I was from outside immediate family.

My condolences on your loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doughnut was for his cousin.

Much love OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes .. for my wife ..

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Carried my father's so honered .as a kid he carried me . As a man I carried him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life."

Cannot imagine what that must of felt like

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By *he FAB Social - MCRCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

I was for my Father, and I will be for my Mother too.

If my sister goes before me then I shall for her also x

I carried my sons casket in my arms, THE hardest thing I’ve ever done was to place him down knowing I’d never hold him again

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"Today I was a pallbearer at a funeral for a very important member of my family. I was asked on the day so to my way of thinking there was no way I could refuse not that I ever would refuse any family members in their moment of grief.Out of interest has anyone else been a pallbearer or refused to be a pallbearer for whatever reason."

Sorry for your loss.

I was a Pallbearer at my father's funeral.

Super anxious that I'd screw it up, so grateful for the opportunity to help him on his way.

I read the eulogy too. The most emotional thing I've ever done.

Winston

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Twice, first was an ex cricket club chairman who'd asked for club members to carry him, 2nd time me and my brother helped carry our dad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss op

I’ve done it three times

Brother father sister in that order

Just the right thing to do for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an honour OP.

I was a palbearer alongside both my sons and husband to carry my Father in law's coffin. It was a very poignant and very emotional.

He raised his own boy and helped raise mine being such a huge part of all our lives as well as support me through everything, quite literally my rock.

I felt that we had come full circle and was now carrying the man who carried all of us through life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss OP

I was for my dad. I was determined I was doing it as it was the last thing I could do for him. We had family friends as well but they were asked in advance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have done it three times but the hardest was for my Sister who died of cancer six years ago

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Such an emotional thread.

I've nothing to add, sending love to all of you who have laid special people to rest.

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By *heekyfromhertsMan
over a year ago

Letchworth

Did it once to a close family member and found it really sobering. I was too busy concentrating on my job that didn't really get upset with the occasion. I'm bloody useless at funerals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my best friend passed away I was asked and obviously agreed to this unfortunately on the day I was mess and just couldn’t pull myself together to do it, always felt guilty about it since in all honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Such an emotional thread.

I've nothing to add, sending love to all of you who have laid special people to rest."

Thank you x

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life."

It's a pain that never goes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life.

It's a pain that never goes x"

No it doesn't. 31 years ago and I think about it at some point every day, and it still makes me tear up. I have seen and dealt with some awful things in my life but the loss of our child has always been the hardest to deal with.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I have been. It was my best friend and it was absolutely heartbreaking helping him on his last journey. I remember I couldn’t see for tears when trying to change into flat shoes to do the job. I hope I never have to do it again.

Huge hugs to all xxxx

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

Yes, twice, for close family of my wife. It was an honour. So many sad stories to read on here and much love to everyone who is still dealing with grief.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

OP - sorry to hear of your loss.

.

I've been a bearer a few times and find it to be a privilege to be asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More times then I care to remember but the worst was for my brother I bought his body home from Afghanistan and had the honour of carrying him to his last resting place

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life.

It's a pain that never goes x

No it doesn't. 31 years ago and I think about it at some point every day, and it still makes me tear up. I have seen and dealt with some awful things in my life but the loss of our child has always been the hardest to deal with. "

It is something that I would never wish on my worst enemy, has to be one of the hardest losses ever to bear and for those who have never had to experience it, will never understand x

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By *os19 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Well thank you to everyone who has taken the time out to contribute to this thread.Yes it was a honour to be asked as tbh I thought I maybe asked but I still didn’t expect it.Not one person on this thread has said they refused to be a pallbearer which to me shows the respect we all have for our family and friends that we would refuse. I would like to thank Sparkle74 , Thunderace , Victor71 , Diesel Dave , The Fab Social-MCR who had to bury their children that must be as hard as it gets as Bjorkish pointed out no parent should have to bury their children.Finally I was particularly touched by the words of Miss Dreavus who said I felt we had come full circle and was now carrying the man who carried all of us through life.

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